Turmoil: September 3rd, 2009 (2009)

Weekly Show | 120 Min

Show Transcript

Thursday Night Turmoil
September 3rd, 2009 – #HOW76
The Best Arena, Chicago IL


The Rundown..

The HOTv logo gives way to the Turmoil banner which promptly explodes as footage is shown from the ending of last weeks Turmoil..

Lee turns to Trent and raises the Bottomline Pen ready to strike..

Suddenly Krista grabs his arm and points up to the ramp where something is happening. A member of Elite Protection is seen rolling down the ramp. As the camera pans up..


The crowd goes nuts as Graystone charges the ring! Krista and Lee quickly jump out as Aceldama, Sektor and O’Neal move toward the ropes. As Graystone jumps in Sektor fakes a shoulder injury and shoves O’Neal forward only to get speared off his feet by Graystone!

Mark rolls out holding his ribs as Aceldama attempts a closeline! Graystone ducks and spins, closelining Aceldama over the top rope where he lands in a group of Elite Security members who more or less brace his fall!

THIS IS AWESOME!” roars from the crowd as Graystone stands definite against the Best Alliance! Trent seems to slowly be coming to as well as Max as both men drag themselves up to their feet, blood running freely from their heads. Max cocks his head to Graystone with a confused expression as Trent meets his new found savior with equal curiosity.

Raising his hand Trent points down to Aceldama as the crowd continues to cheer..





The crowd immediately turns their enthusiastic cheers to confused boos while Graystone stands in the middle of the ring looking down at both fallen men. Lee can be seen slithering back into the ring with a wide grin on his face as he swaggers toward Graystone.

The crowd moves from confused boos to out and out rage as Lee pulls a contract from his pocket and holds it out toward Graystone.

Lee Best: As I was saying.. the Bottom Line is this.. when you become a problem Lee Best will find the.. Best Solution. Trent, at Rumble at the Rock Aceldama is going to break you, beat you and make you squeal.. That’s set in stone and we all know its true.. but for you Max?

Lee looks over at the downed Max along with Graystone who seems to stare holes into his former cohort.

Lee Best: GRAYSTONE VS. MAX KAEL AT RUMBLE AT THE ROCK! And where better for two Psychopaths to fight it out.. then in the MENTAL WARD!

The video ends and we cut live inside a racous Best Arena to the announce team of Joe Hoffman and Big Buff Benny Newell as the crowd is cheering madly as Turmoil is officially on the air.

Joe Hoffman: Welcome to Thursday Night Turmoil!! I am Joe Hoffman and as always I am joined by Big Buff Benny Newell and Benny…Graystone is back!!

Benny Newell: I never thought I would see that uncle fucking sick mofo back here in HOW…but as always I defer to the genius that is Lee Best.

Joe Hoffman: I wont comment on the first part of the statement but there is no denying that Lee always has something up his sleeve and last week was no different as we finally saw Lee get back at Max for his attack on Lee at Mayhem several weeks ago. You just knew it was just a matter of time.

Benny Newell: Damn right it was only a matter of time and now on October 5th we will see the two sickest fucks in the history of High Octane Wrestling going at it.

Joe Hoffman: And the ICON Championship just might be on the line as the Best Alliance’s Shane Reynolds defends the ICON title against Maximillian Kael tonight in our main event as Max bought this title shot from Lee several weeks ago.

Benny Newell: Shane will retain..even if Lee and the BA have to cheat..trust me…Shane Reynolds will NOT lose tonight.

Joe Hoffman: Well were are only a couple hours away from finding that out. But that is not the only match on the show tonight as another big one tonight will be World Champion and Best Alliance member Aceldama taking on the Number One Contender for the World Title, Trent, in a High Octane Fighting Championship bout in The Best Arena basement. This will be a lot more than just a tune up for their Rumble at the Rock match that is for sure.

Benny Newell: You know I keep hearing this bullshit about how Trent might be the favorite in tonights match but I am not buying it. People seem to forget that Aceldama was fighting in a lot worse situations when he was employed but that foreign numnut….this will be tame compared to what Aceldama has seen in the past trust me.

Joe Hoffman: Again we will have to wait but I for one see Trent really showing everyone else in the company just how serious he is about taking the World Title off of Aceldama.

Benny Newell: He can be serious all night and day….he is not winning tonight. Neither is that whore Cunninette Carey.

Joe Hoffman: BOBBINETTE ….Carey….is taking on John Sektor in what I am hearing will have a special stipulation to the match…we gotta wait for that one to confirm that…but these two have a long history and at one time there was whispers of a romance. That should be a good match as will the next Hall of Fame match for Marcus Reinhardt as he takes on Darkwing tonight in Darkwings return to the ring after taking several weeks off following his grueling match at Capitol Punishment with fellow Hall of Famers Mark O’Neal and Chris Kostoff.

Benny Newell: Blah blah fucking Blah. Mark pinned Reinhardt last week in the big tag match and no one will care when this “Hall of Fame” Match takes place. Reinhardt is trying to win over fans by facing washed up Hall of Famers….excuse me as I yawn…

Joe Hoffman: Well while you yawn let me give everyone the details on..


A Proper Arrival

….Suddenly the High Octane Vision screen comes to life as a black helicopter can be seen hovering over the roof of the Best Arena. At the same time the “24” theme can be heard playing in the background.

Joe Hoffman: Now what’s all this about.

Benny Newell: Is that the 24 theme?

Joe Hoffman: Must be something to do with the Elite Protection Unit.

The helicopter continues to hover over the roof and suddenly a black rope is thrown out the side, landing on top of the roof. A man’s head can be seen poking out of the side of the chopper, and the man grabs the line and begins repelling down towards the roof. Three other men follow down the line as the first man lands and un-clips himself. The man is wearing the EPU body armour and colours as he turns around to face the camera.

Joe Hoffman: Are you kidding me?

Benny Newell: It’s Sektor! God, he’s awesome.

Sektor begins running towards the roof door, with the other three men moving behind him. The scene then switches the HOW corridor, whilst the 24 theme continues to play.

Benny Newell: This must be Lee’s way of making it up to Sektor after making him get a cab last week.

Joe Hoffman: So this is where our profits go..

Eventually Sektor can be seen entering the corridor, which has around a dozen EPU offices lining it with their backs against the walls. Sektor marches through the middle of them and as he reaches the front they all turn and follow behind him in the two rows. A single EPU walks at Sektor’s side.

Benny Newell: I’m guessing the guy on Sektor’s right is his body guard, which I don’t blame him for having..what with lunatics like Graystone and Max lurking.

Joe Hoffman: HOWrestling.com did report Max escaped EPU custody earlier this week…so who knows? But it is great to see Graystone back, and we’ll see him a little later on in our main event.

The HOV screen suddenly goes black and the music fades out, leaving only the chants of “SEKTOR SUCKS” bellowing around the arena. “Die Mother Fucker Die,” by Dope suddenly blasts over the PA system as Sektor marches out onto the ramp with his security team following. The crowd continue to boo and hurl abuse at him as he continues, stone faced, down towards the ring. His body guard jumps ahead of him and hops onto the apron, opening the ropes for Sektor. Sektor proceeds up the steps and ducks under the ropes, entering the ring.

Joe Hoffman: Look’s like our chief of security has something to say.

Benny Newell: Shut up Joe, Sektor’s about to speak show some respect.

The music fades out as Sektor stands in the ring, holding a microphone. His bodyguard stands in the ring with him, while the rest of the EPU form up around the ring. Sektor hears the chants and boo’s but isn’t smirking like he usually is.

John Sektor: SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!

This of course courses the volume of boo’s to increase which causes Sektor face to go bright red.


The boo’s do continue for a little while longer, but the crowd soon loses interest and quiets down, allowing Sektor to continue with what he has to say.

John Sektor: That’s more like it. Now, first of all I would like to thank Lee Best. As promised I arrived here tonight in true style, by helicopter, as a way of apology for having to take a cab last week. I felt like every one of you peasants must feel every day riding in that thing.

This earns him some more boo’s and Sektor break’s seriousness for a moment, allowing smug smile.

John Sektor: On with business. It’s seems almost everybody on this roster is hell bent on ignoring my orders and going against them. This roster WILL learn that if you cross me, you will be dealt with. Take Eisen for example. In my first show back here I warned him that further use of a fork on another human being will result in him being punished. He ignored me and ended up spending a week inside a cage I had specially built backstage. Now I can only hope that Eisen used his time to reflect on his actions and decided to play by the rules.

Joe Hoffman: Eisen didn’t seem too happy on his release last week so I doubt that will happen.

John Sektor: Then there’s Max. The man who is the main reason why the EPU was employed by Lee Best in the first place. This psychopath, who was once my friend, likes to go around wearing peoples faces, kidnapping, blackmailing…you name it. Thus he has been in the custody of my men, chained up like a dog since I got here….that is until he escaped earlier this week.

Sektor takes a look around and then behind himself….obviously worried about just where is Kael. But he quickly regains his focus as he realizes that Max is no where around.

Benny Newell: Max should have been put down at birth.

John Sektor: Onto the next person, and the main reason I’m out here tonight. Later on I step into the ring for the fifth time against Bobbinette Carey..

The crowd erupts with cheers and chants for the fan favourite Bobbinette. Sektor looks as though he has a foul taste in his mouth from hearing this.

John Sektor: Carey was one of the people responsible for causing my injury and costing me over thee months of my career. Not only that but she too has been ignoring the rules, attacking Kirsta when she was helpless, using a chair last week after O’Neal and I beat her and her rookie partner. Tonight I take revenge against the WHORE of HOW!

Joe Hoffman: It is true that John Sektor is undefeated against Carey, but tonight could change that as I would never bet against a hall of famer.

Benny Newell: I already did, Sektor will win.

John Sektor: Now I didn’t want this to be just a standard match. After all she caused me months of pain and suffering. Therefore after getting approval from the God of HOW, Lee Best, I have changed the stipulations to tonight’s. These stipulations will both allow me to cause suffering to Carey as well as do something that I haven’t yet done to her….make her submit.

Joe Hoffman: Looks like my source was good….but I gotta ask…What type of match is he thinking of Benny?


The fans cheer wildly, not because of Sektor but at the thought of watching such a match up. Sektor smiles sadistically as though he is already picturing what he is going to do to Carey.

John Sektor: Tonight, Carey will be punished for all her sins and I will get the retribution I deserve. I hope everyone in the back takes note of this, and watches as I personally hand down Carey’s punishment. Oh and Kirsta if your listening…don’t worry, I’ll leave enough of her trashy carcass left for you to play with at Rumble at the Rock.

Sektor pauses and looks around the arena intensely, before slowly lifting the microphone back to his mouth, looking directly into the camera.

John Sektor:…you will play by the rules..

Sektor throws down the microphone to a chorus of boo’s which are soon drowned out by the sound of “Die Mother Fucker Die,” replaying. He exits the ring with his body guard and begins to march to the back with the rest of the EPU following.

Joe Hoffman: Hardcore Submission, haven’t seen one of those for some time. I cant help but feel worried for Carey as something tells me that Sektor wont be alone in that ring.

Benny Newell: Carey should be the one who’s worried, Sektor’s going to destroy her tonight, and at the same time make her tap out…this is awesome!

Joe Hoffman: Whatever happens it should be a great match. Folk’s we’re going to take a quick break, but when we come back we have our opening match up, Ethan Cavanaugh Versus Kirsta Lewis, we’ll be right back.

The scene cuts to commercial.


What role will the EPU play in tonight’s Hardcore Submission Match?


Ethan Cavanaugh vs. Kirsta Lewis
Singles Match

Back live from commercial and the cameras focus in on Ethan Cavanaugh who is already in the ring.

Joe Hoffman: Well if Ethan was looking for respect from Lee after his win over Kostoff last week he is sorely mistaken as he was ushered out here during the commercial break with no music…nothing but a small section of the crowd who showed him some respect for his big win against Kostoff last week in HOFC action.

Benny Newell: Look Cavanaugh got lucky when Kostoff was punching blindly at his big ass head. There is no way in hell he gets lucky tonight against the first lady of HOW….Kirsta Lewis.

On cue “Animals” by Nickelback hits the PA system inside The Best Arena and the crowd stands as one to rain down some boos on the Hellcat.

Suddenly the music is drowned out by a throttling Harley Davidson motorcycle as the Hellcat Kirsta Lewis appears at the top of the entrance ramp clad in all black leather. She revs the engine even louder and the boos are undetectable as she drives the bike down towards the ring and begins circling the ring as Cavanaugh watches her in earnest.


McVay just gives up on the introduction as its obvious no one can hear him….

Joe Hoffman: Well per her solo entrance Kirsta Lewis is on her bike and there is no mistaking that she deserves to be the number one women’s wrestler in all the land. That ranking coming courtesy of Ewtorch.com of course.

Benny Newell: Did you honestly just fucking plug an online wrestling rag? Why don’t you just go ahead and plug that bullshit PCW company…or that all whore company MVW?

Joe Hoffman: You just did? ANYWAY….Kirsta has parked her bike and its time for our first match up.

With the bike turned off the crowd shakes The Best Arena with boos as Kirsta smiles as she climbs into the ring and referee Joel Hortega quickly checks Kirsta and Cavanaugh for weapons and satisfied he signals for the bell and we are underway.

Joe Hoffman: Who you got Benny?

Benny Newell: Drink for asking that dumbass question…

Benny just shakes his head and instead takes the drink himself as inside the ring Cavanaugh and Lewis lock up and Ethan gains the early advantage and puts Kirsta in a side headlock.

The advantage doesn’t last long as Kirsta pushes Cavanaugh off and into the far ropes and goes for a big dropkick but Ethan stops short and Kirsta falls hard on her back.

Cavanaugh quickly jumps on the offensive and begins working over the lower body of Kirsta.

Joe Hoffman: Early mistake by Lewis there and now it’s Cavanaugh who is working the legs, obviously trying to take Kirsta’s Hell’s Bitch Kick outta play.

After a few grapevines, Cavanaugh stands up..looks out to the crowd and begins executing a series of stomps to the full body of Kirsta…

Joe Hoffman: Ethan calls that the Cavanaugh Stomp…

Benny Newell: Pretty fucking original there…Bob Jared.

Joe Hoffman: Huh??

Benny Newell: Drink…B-A-N-A-N-A-S….

Now it is Joe who is shaking his head as back inside the ring Cavanaugh gets a near fall as Hortega reached DOS before Kirsta was able to kick out.

Ethan brings Kirsta up to her feet and puts her in position for a suplex but Kirsta blocks it and nails him with a snap DDT….the effects of the move leave both Cavanaugh and the battered Kirsta slow to recover.

Joe Hoffman: The match just got evened up with that DDT…

Benny Newell: You even know what DDT stands for?

Joe goes to speak but stops as is completed dumbfounded.

Benny Newell: You fucking idiot…it comes from the biological term Dichlor-Diphenyl-Trichoroethane….DUH!

Joe is in complete shock as he reaches out and grabs Benny’s flask and takes a shot as the cameras quickly cut away and back to the action inside the ring where both Cavanaugh and Lewis are back to their feet.

Cavanaugh goes for a big overhand right but Lewis ducks and nails him with a kick to the side. She goes to follow it up but Cavanaugh catches her foot…spins her….kicks her in the gut and then grabs her in a double underhook position as the crowd jumps up…

Joe Hoffman: Cavanaugh has her in position for his devastating Magic Black piledriver!!!!

Cavanaugh looks out into the crowd and smiles as he goes to lift her but Kirsta breaks the hold and quickly ducks out of it, bringing Cavanaugh’s arm behind him into a with a perfect hammer lock and then pushes him into the ropes and as he bounces off Kirsta goes for her super kick finisher…

Benny Newell: HELLS BITCH KICK!!!

Kirsta connects flush with Cavanaugh’s chin and the man goes down in a heap as Kirsta scrambles over and makes the cover…





Kirsta smiles towards the booing crowd and proceeds to flip them off as the action cuts elsewhere as Hortega checks on Cavanaugh.


Epic Equalizer

Back stage we see Mark O’Neal walking out of Lee best‘s office. He puts his thumbs in his belt loop looking back at those inside. He closes the door and starts strolling down the hall with a smile on his face.

Mark O’Neal: I got to use the can…

Mark turns the corner towards the bathrooms and gets nailed in the head with a pink chair. The chair has the words “Equalizer” on it.

Bobbinette looks down at Mark O’Neal and smiles.

The Queen B: You guys want to play by your rules? Well, I’m done playing. There’s the security with Sektor and Best Alliance. You got away with attacking me. Guess what? That’s over. You got your numbers I’ve got my equalizer…

~She says with a nod.~

The Queen B: I’m taking a page out of someone’s book.

~She then notices the camera and looks into it as another camera cuts back to ring side showing Kirsta in the ring watching on the HOV what Bobbinette has done to Mark O‘Neal~

The Queen B: And Skanksta, I haven’t forgotten about you, your time is coming soon. Cling to whatever hope you can. Because there might be one time when you’re alone and unsuspecting and that is when I will strike you down. This is nothing but the start…

~She slams the chair back down on O’Neal who is trying to get back up. She kisses the chair and walks down the hall towards a locker room and knocks on a door. The door is marked with the name “Kostoff” There’s no answer she shrugs her shoulders and walks off.~

The Queen B: There’s always next week after I win the LSD Title against David Black…

Turmoil cuts to another commercial break as EPU officers rush into the scene led by Sektor as Lee Best thrusts open his office door to see Mark out of it.

Lee Best: That Oatmeal Fucking Dyke Loving Whore…..

The feed goes to black as the commercial begins to air leaving a cursing Lee Best..


Does Carey have the ability to continue to escape the EPU and BA before RATR 2??


A New Champion…

Back live and we cut backstage with the camera focused squarely on the door of Lee Best as the EPU and John Sektor have left the area with fellow A-Lister Mark O’Neal.

The camera zooms back as Best comes through on his cell phone, stopping briefly to get off his phone. Best pushes open the door and steps into darkness, followed by the cameraman. As soon as he steps in someone switches on a lamp in the corner in the room. The light is just enough for the camera to make out the scowl on Best’s face.

Lee Best: Seriously? In my chair?

The camera turns around to Best’s desk to show Ethan Cavanaugh sitting behind it, apparently just started playing solitaire in the dark.

Cavanaugh glares at the table, either unaware or flat out ignoring the return of the owner of the office as he continues to play…or possibly still feeling the affect of the kick he received from Kirsta.

As Best gets closer to the desk, Cavanaugh finally looks up.

Ethan Cavanaugh: So much for the “Best” Protection huh Boss. It must be frustrating to have your hand on the reins of power and industry with so many trying to server them. It reminds of the old days…

Best interrupts Ethan with a resounding slap on his desk. Apparently, Cavanaugh has come to the wrong place. If he had that revelation, it would have been miraculous at this point as Cavanaugh continued to look calmly at his irate boss.

Lee Best: If you don’t get your fucking ass up outta my chair you are going to wish that Kirsta was here to kick you in the fucking jaw again…

Ethan Cavanaugh: I see. Well, I’ll cut right to the point. Wrestling is the family trade and something I respect and enjoy immensely. However, my father taught me that you simply cannot be good inside of the ring but outside of it as well. I’d be foolish to ignore the business side of my profession and will not do so, which is why I’ve come to you tonight.

Lee Best: Is there a fucking point anywhere…you do realize I got a fucking CUNT on the loose right?

Ethan Cavanaugh: Yes there is…. From what I understand Rumble of the Rock 2 has nearly every championship is on the line with the exception of the ICON Championship.

Lee Best [scoffs]: So you want a Championship match? An ICON Championship no less? Didn’t you just get beat…..by a fucking girl? Sorry, but that’s not how it works here.

Ethan Cavanaugh: Really? You’re going to turn down my proposal without even hearing it? I never said I wouldn’t make it interesting Boss.

If he wasn’t listening before Lee Best had begun listening now. Perhaps if only to quickly rid himself of the serene employee in front of him, Best waited for Cavanaugh as he cleared his cards off the table.

Ethan Cavanaugh: The wrestling world has took notice of me in the past few weeks it seems, with my victories over Trip Eisen and Chris Kostoff. But, at the same time and I know my loss to Kirsta will still cause plenty of people to doubt me. Maybe they’re right and my winning streak was a fluke…. Or they’re wrong and it is just the beginning. Either way, they’ll want one of their own to put the rookie into his place, am I right? So why not Trip Eisen?

Best sits down in his leather chair behind his desk, considering the consequences of Cavanaugh’s words.

Ethan Cavanaugh: All that would remain is giving both him and me adequate stakes. In order to maintain the interest of both sides and of the fans as well. Which brings us back to the ICON Championship.

Lee Best: So…you’re suggesting a #1 Contender’s Match….a man that lost to Aceldama last week and a man that lost to a girl only a few minutes ago…again…how’s that fucking jaw by the way?

Ethan Cavanaugh [sarcastically and ignoring that last comment]: Of course. Because words mean everything around here.

Ethan pocketed the cards, smirking as he walks around the desk, nearly tripping on something. Carefully Cavanaugh bent over, searching the floor around his feet before pulling up, his eyes darkening as a ball gag dangles from his grip. Cavanaugh decides it’s best to just let it be and drops it.

Ethan Cavanaugh: The current ICON Champion is occupied; I am well aware. I want you to consider creating an Interim ICON Championship. This will allow the current contention over the ICON Championship to be settled. Put Trip Eisen and I in a match for this Interim Championship. Even if, if, I lose…consider the business you’ll be able to do then with this epic split in one of High Octane Wrestling’s most idolized divisions. Two champions claiming the same prize can only lead in one direction. I can get things rolling in that direction, if you give me this favor. If you create this Championship and give me Trip Eisen for Rumble at the Rock 2.

Best seems lost now, visions of revenue and crowds stretching before his naked eyes. Cavanaugh turns to leave but again trips up. In annoyance he again reaches down, only this time pulling up a black lace thong. Something, some condemnation appeared to be forming in Cavanaugh’s mouth but he again choked it back and just let the item drop back to the ground.

Ethan Cavanaugh: I’m sure you have…other matters to tend to. Just give it some thought. I’m going to go wash my hands [under his breath]…with an SOS pad…

As Cavanaugh goes to head for the door Lee stands up..

Lee Lee Best: I GOT IT…..you are right….

Ethan turns and smiles as Lee walks over to Cavanaugh and grabs the man by the shoulders.

Lee Best: You want a new title here in HOW is what I am feeling and quite frankly you might be right. Just because you snuck into my office while I was helping Sektor and the EPU take Mark to get medical help…and JUST because you lost to a GIRL…..I KNOW you are right..so I am going to grant your request……hold on..one sec…

Lee puts up his hand as he pulls out his vibrating cell phone and Ethan can be seen smiling as Lee answers the call..

Lee Best: Yep….right now….ya the motherfucker was sitting right in my desk….nah we are cool…..yep…bring it in……right now…..

Lee snaps the phone shut and turns his attention back to Cavanaugh…

Lee Best: You want a TITLE….well you got one….open the door…….go ahead…

Ethan looks at Lee with a quizzical look and turns and continues to look at Lee who motions for him to open the door.

Lee Best: Just do it…You wanted a title and a match at The Rock…well open up the door to opportunity now..

Somewhat satisfied, Ethan opens the door… WHACK

Ethan goes flailing backwards and Lee moves to the side as the man falls hard to his back…completely knocked out.

The camera zooms into Cavanaugh’s face to show his eyes rolled up into the back of his head. The camera then pans up and over to the door way to show Kirsta Lewis in the door way with her leg still extended..ala Neo from the Matrix.

Lee then bends down and whispers into the knocked out mans ear..

Lee Best: The new title is My Bitch’s Bitch and you are the new MBB Champion…congrats champ…

Lee smacks the man across the face and stands up and fixes his jacket as Kirsta walks briskly up to him and the two begin making out as the camera fades out as we see the first couple of HOW going at it heavily as the new MBB Champion dreams of what might have been.


Hall of Famer Darkwing returns to the ring next!


Darkwing vs. Marcus Reinhardt
Singles Match

Action returns from commercial as the HOV shows a split screen of the two Hell’s Bitch Kicks Kirsta Lewis just planted on Ethan Cavanaugh moments ago.

Even the crowd is buzzing after Lee’s proclamation of Cavanaugh being the new MBB Champion.

Joe Hoffman: Well Benny once again someone thought they had a good idea and..


Joe rolls his eyes as the HOV shows a video of the last time we seen Darkwing at the House of Pain match at Capitol Punishment. As the video ends the arena goes dark and the crowd buzzes as a single spotlight shines at the top of the entrance ramp and highlights of Darkwing’s Career are shown on the HOV.

Joe Hoffman: Well this is certainly new….Darkwing getting a proper entrance ..an entrance suited for a Hall of Famer..

Suddenly the video playing on the HOV stops and is replaced by an image of a calf…..a calf named Besty and instead of music blasting thru The Best Arena a very loud MOOOING sound is heard and Darkwing appears in the spotlight looking very disgruntled as the crowd cheers madly for the iconic HOW superstar.

Joe Hoffman: I should have seen that one coming…

Benny is unable to give a proper comeback as he is literally standing on his chair “mooing” at Darkwing who is still on the entrance ramp seemingly unsure if he even wants to partake in the match.

The spotlight then goes out and the arena is in total darkness…

Benny Newell: Here we go…arena goes black..someone gets attacked!

Sure enough the lights come back on and we see the Elite Protection Unit in full force beating on Darkwing who is on his back and trying to cover up but to no avail.

The crowd begins booing unmercifully as Sektor makes his way out on top of the entrance ramp and next to him is his personal EPU bodyguard and Mark O’Neal who has his head bandaged up and is looking a little pissed off.

Sektor: Darkwing tonight was to be your glorious return to the ring but after what your “friend” Carey pulled earlier and our inability to hunt the WHORE down…well I think this will send the message no?

Sektor motions the EPU agents to back off as a couple more appear from the back with a knocked out Marcus Reinhardt in tow.

Sektor: Hortega get your Mexican ass out here…

Joel Hortega comes racing out as the EPU agents dump Reinhardt on the body of Darkwing who is now also out of it.

Hortega motions to Sektor if he should count and after a swift kick in the ass from Mark O’Neal, Hortega gets into position and makes the count as trash flies towards the entrance ramp from all parts of the arena..





Mark O’Neal and Sektor begin to clap for Marcus Reinhardt’s “hard-fought” victory over Darkwing. Sektor then hands the microphone to Mark.

Mark O’Neal: “Great work Marcus. Let me shake your hand out of respect. Just like you did when you beat Hall of Famer Bobbinette Fairy.”

Mark reaches down and grabs Reinhardt’s limp hand and shakes it. He then throws it down to the mat and spits on Reinhardt.

Mark O’Neal: “Marcus, the man who wishes he was me. Changed his name to Marcus to make yourself sound like me. That is terrible. Terrible, just like your girlfriend Carey. That bitch is going to pay for hitting me with a chair twice. Carey, maybe you don’t remember when we fought last, when I powerbombed you to the mat and won the match. Well trust me, that is nothing compared to the beating you will get this time.

And Marcus. You think you are a big shot now because you have beaten shitty Hall of Famer after shitty Hall of Famer. Look who you have beat. Chris Kostoff. The man who can’t even win the damn LSD Title. Bobinette Carey, well first off she is a woman, second off, I can’t remember when the last time she won a match was. And the ever so feared super hero himself Darkwing Duck. Last time he was seen before tonight he got a beating at the hands of myself. And guess what, he got another beating by me tonight. Great win for you tonight Marcus.”

Marcus begins stirring a little bit, as he is coming to his sense after the beating he had taken earlier. Sektor notices this and stomps on his head. He then picks Marcus up and holds his arms behind him, forcing him to stand and face Mark.

Mark O’Neal: “Well Marcus, it is time for your Hall of Fame run to come to an end. Remember how I pinned you last week? At Rumble at the Rock 2, I am going to pin you once again. It is time you faced a real Hall of Famer. The best damn Hall of Famer HOW has to offer. It’s only a short time away young Marcus. And at Rumble at the Rock, you will understand why they call me the walking time bomb, because I AM GOING TO EXPLODE ON YOU!!!!!!!!”

With this Mark kicks Marcus in the crotch area, and Marcus hunches over, Mark gets him between his legs, hoists him up and nails him with a devastating Time Bomb. Mark then gives Sektor a high five as the two exit laughing, with the EPU following them backstage as the trash and boos rain down on them as Turmoil cuts to commercial.


Trent vs. Aceldama©


Silent Witness vs. David Black©

Chris Kostoff vs. Michael DeNucci

Maximillian Kael vs. Graystone

Marcus Reinhardt vs. Hall of Famer Mark O’Neal

Bobbinette Carey vs. Kirsta Lewis

These Times are Changing..

The camera cuts to backstage where Mindy Smith is roaming through the corridors of the Best Arena trying to get a great scoop, but nothing is coming her way and she is becoming frustrated.

She is about to give up until she comes upon Aceldama’s locker room, and the door is slightly ajar so she peers inside. She sees Aceldama, sitting at his bench with his towel over his head, deep in contemplation. She turns to her cameraman and marks that she is going to go inside. After three, she walks inside and bursts the scene taking Aceldama by surprise, he does not get up however, simply sits down and looks upwards at the intrusion to his silence*

Mindy Smith: It’s only Mindy here Aceldama, do you mind if we come in?

Aceldama: Do I mind? Yes I do actually, here I am deep in concentration and you barge right in here

Mindy Smith: It should not take a minute.

Aceldama: Well a minute is all you are getting.

Mindy Smith: Shit, this is going to have to be a fast one, Aceldama, any comments about your opponent tonight, Trent?

*Aceldama sits on his bench, looking downwards, his head covered by the towel. He sits in silence, refusing to answer the question; Mindy is getting a bit worried. Aceldama still continues to refuse to answer her question. Finally from his towel he lifts his head and gives a smile to her, she smiles back rather awkwardly.*

Aceldama: I am sorry darling, but your time is up.

Mindy Smith: But I never got your answer…..

Aceldama: Should have asked a better question then. You can leave now, your cameraman, he can stay. Maybe he can get the answer, who knows?

Mindy Smith: Just wait a minute! I did not barge into this room to get nothing. I demand you answer my question.

Aceldama: You are in no position to demand answers, however I am in a position to demand answers, now leave.

Mindy Smith: I most certainly shall not!

Aceldama: Fine, you had to make it harder on yourself didn’t you?

Mindy Smith: What do you mean?

*Aceldama stands up from the bench, takes a moment, smiling at Mindy all the while. Taking the microphone from her hand he looks at it, then goes to speak into it then all of a sudden out of nowhere he lands a big boot straight into her chin throwing her backwards out of the room as officials working nearby come to her attention. Aceldama closes and locks the door, leaving him and Mindy’s cameraman in the room*

Aceldama: Oh don’t worry, take a seat, that camera must be so heavy on those shoulder’s of yours. What’s your name?

*The camera begins to shake*

Aceldama: Oh now don’t be rude, I asked your name now, only kind to reply with the answer.

Cameraman- David…..its David.

Aceldama: Good. Now David, I know your job for tonight was to follow that whore about, but instead of that I am going to let you have an insight into my thoughts, how does that sound?

Cameraman- I….I don’t know.

Aceldama: It sounds wonderful David. A one on one with the world champion, that is everybody’s dream. Now get comfortable, because I have a lot to say…..

Right, I guess everybody is wondering what is going on in the head of the world champion of late. Well a lot actually. Much more than I can say for my opponent at Rumble at the Rock, but that is the drugs that do that. Many people are thinking, what do I think of the straight fighting, all brawling Trent, how can I fight against such a man? Seven feet tall, a mammoth in the wrestling world. In this business there are only two certainties. You will get more than you can deliver, I am not doubting this big shit can give out, but the other certainty is that everything is not what it seems. Just because you are seven feet tall you are a wrecking machine. It is how you use your strengths, that is what makes us. My strength? Never say never. Seven feet tall? Bigger target. Three Hundred and fifty pounds? Wider target. My heart was ripped from me and replaced with a new, but still my will and determination continues. Trent, your physical capabilities might be better than mine, but you lack one thing, heart! Yes mine might be long gone, but I have taught this new one to be like its predecessor. It wants the same thing, to be the best. Something you will never know. Tonight, it will begin the reality check for you. Tonight you will finally realize that maybe coming for the world title was a bad move.

But that is not what I want to talk about right now. Far from it. I am so sorry that I even wasted half a breath on that sorry excuse of an opponent. What I want to talk about is what everybody out there is raving about. That the whole wrestling nation is singing about. I am talking about the talk of Graystone!

So it seems your return has brought about great tidings, but least I shall not forget! I remember upon your last return, when you came upon that top rope, and you targeted me. You tried to put the curse upon me that fateful night, but it was all in vain. Because when you look into my eyes Graystone you see threat, you look at me and you see the very future of this federation. Yes your time may of came and gone, but in six months within this federation I have held the world title for three of those months, oh how that masks your very career! So don’t think I forget about what you did all those months back. I am a two time world champion, almost one hundred days with this title on my shoulder, and I am only getting started. Whilst your career, you still want to rekindle. I know I scare you, I know your dominance is at threat. But if it ever comes to when you and me want to settle this age old argument, the door is always open. After all, it seems we have unfinished business after all. I am the future Graystone, and your return will not change that no matter what.

Right, I am done, you can leave now.

Cameraman- Thank you, thank you.

Aceldama: Just hurry up and get lost will you!

Joe Hoffman: It seems Aceldama is still bitter about what happened all those months ago upon the return of Graystone the last time when he delivered the curse to him, and he wants to settle the deal. Talk about settling old agendas up next is Bobbinette Carey taking on John Sektor, and this goes way back! That is next folks….


The Truth is out there?

But the action doesn’t cut back to the announcers and instead we see Aceldama and the cameraman leave the room each going their separate ways.

The camera then pans over to Mindy Smith who is being tended to by several HOW medical personal.

One of the medics pulls out some smelling salt and breaks it and places it under Mindy’s nose and after a few moments she sits up quickly and gasps out in pain and quickly grabs her head which is throbbing.


Medic: Ma’am just lay back down. You are going to be fine but I need to find out if you suffered a concussion.

Mindy: I didn’t suffer no stupid ass concussion. I have had plenty of concussions before and trust me…that weak ass momma’s boy didn’t have it in him to give me one.

Mindy goes to stand up and she staggers at first but with the help of the medic she is back solidly on her feet.

Mindy: Now just get the hell outta here will ya…I am fine..trust me…

The medic realizing that his efforts are fruitless he starts packing up his medical kit as Mindy tries to compose herself as she continues to curse Aceldama.

Mindy: Who the fuck does he think he is? I am giving him fucking T.V. time and he wants to show how fucking big and bad he fucking is…by hitting a woman…..well this motherfucker has another thing coming…

Mindy continues on her rant as the medic just leaves shaking his head at the HOW interviewer.

Mindy rubs her temple as she leans back against the near wall as her head is really killing her.

Mindy: He is so lucky my husband isn’t here tonight….he would of…

Would of what?”

Mindy turns just in time to see a brass knuckled fist coming at her face………then more darkness.

Mindy doesn’t fall to the ground however as she is caught be her assailant who is revealed as the cameras pan back…

The Headhunter Michael Denucci.

The buzz in the arena can be heard as DeNucci holds Mindy in her arms and begins stroking her hair softly as he begins talking..

DeNucci: Ah its too bad this isn’t real Mindy…even though this blood flowing your nose is real….but a lot of things about you aren’t real are….I mean I KNOW I finished you off before that book was set to be published…yet here you are…..but guess what Mindy…..I know who you are and your time has run out…

DeNucci then bends down and softly lays Mindy down on the ground and before he stands up fully he pulls at her hair and it comes off in his hands…obviously a wig.

Smiling, DeNucci turns with wig in hand and begins walking away….but before he is off camera he has one final thing to say to Mindy…

DeNucci: Tell your husband I’ll be waiting for him next week …..in the basement.

With that the Turmoil cuts to commercial as everyone is bewildered as to what is going on.


Bobbinette “Queen B” Carey vs. John Sektor
Singles Match

Back live from commercial and the HOV shows a replay of DeNucci knocking Mindy out and then walking away with her wig.

Joe Hoffman: I have no idea what is going on or who Mindy’s husband is but you gotta believe that DeNucci is asking for a whole lotta hurt.

Benny Newell: Come on its obvious what’s going on. Mindy was “killed” by a so called mob but she survived, went into witness protection, put on a wig to get close to DeNucci, and too bad for her but DeNucci found out…its basic math Joe….drink!

Joe Hoffman: Um ya….anyway…its time for another match and folks this might be another case of “will” this match happen as Bobbinette Carey is the number one target of the EPU and the A-Listers right now and you have to figure that she would be crazy to come out here and face John Sektor in this Hardcore Submission Match.

Benny Newell: Well trust me there will be more pain if she no shows the match….just ask anyone no longer here in HOW.

Joe Hoffman: True enough…

Die Motherfucker Die” by Dope hits the PA system once again and John Sektor makes his way out with his personal EPU Bodyguard directly behind him, followed by the rest of the EPU.

They make their way down to the ring as the crowd throws more trash at the head of the Turmoil division of the EPU.

Joe Hoffman: Well Sektor sure hasn’t made any friends since returning here to HOW…and from what we seen earlier tonight with Darkwing and Reinhardt, you gotta believe that there is no way in hell that Carey will make it out of the ring alive..if she makes it into the ring at all.

Back in the ring, Sektor climbs in while the rest of the EPU surround the ring with Sektor’s personal bodyguard staying closest to the ring, near Sektors corner.

Joe Hoffman: Well it’s safe to say that this turned into a Hardcore Submission Lumberjack match…Jesus.

Benny Newell: Bob Jared…

Joe Hoffman: Huh..

Benny Newell: You said Jesus and I corrected you with Bob Jared.

Joe Hoffman: Riiiiiiggggghhhht.

Inside the ring Sektor is bouncing back and forth on the balls of his feet as he waits for Carey’s entrance.

Suddenly and on cue, Circus by Brittany Spears hits the PA system and the crowd cheers loudly for their Epic Hero.

Joe Hoffman: You gotta admire Carey taking the fight to the Elite Protection Unit and the Best Alliance in general. Words will only get you so far….ask Ethan Cavanaugh.

Benny Newell: MBB CHAMPION!!!

Joe only can sigh as the cameras continue to focus on the entrance ramp but there is no Carey to be seen.

Her music ends and there is still no Carey.

Sektor turns towards referee Matt Boettcher who is taking Hortega’s place after Hortega was forced into “action” for the Darkwing/ Reinhardt Match, and orders Boettcher to ring the bell.

After a few moments or arguing Boettcher finally succumbs and signals for the bell and the start of the match.




Joe Hoffman: Well I got money on the fact that Carey is probably laid out somewhere..and we will see Sektor with a count out win here.

Right on time…Boettcher beings the 10 count….

As he counts Sektor continues to circle in the ring waiting for Carey to jump out from the seats but there is no sight of the Queen B.

As Boettcher reaches eight the crowd erupts as Carey can be seen propelling down from the ceiling.

Sektor sees her just as she is literally a few feet from his head and as Boettcher hits the nine mark…Carey comes crashing down with two feet into the face of Sektor.

Joe Hoffman: SHE’S HERE!!! CAREY IS HERE!!!

Carey undoes the zip line which shoots back up into the rafters and she jumps on top of Sektor and begins pummeling him with rights and lefts as the crowd is in a frenzy as the EPU members are looking at each other unsure of what to do.

Sektor pushes Carey off and is able to scramble to the far turnbuckle but Carey charges and nails him with a perfect drop kick that forces Sektor thru the corner and down to the arena floor as she literally kicked him outta the ring.

The EPU members quickly come to Sektor’s aid however and with the help of his bodyguard they help Sektor to his feet and as he regains his focus he calls for one of their weapons and Sektor re enters the ring with two taser guns in his hand.

Joe Hoffman: Well this just isn’t fair at all is it? Come on..tasers???

Benny Newell: Shoot my ass with two of those and I would consider it a hardcore submission for sure….that is unless they hit my nipples….well then you know the rules change then…you know??

Joe Hoffman: Um…No I don’t you sick puppy…

Back inside the ring Carey backs up as Sektor stalks her in the ring. Carey tries to exit the ring to get her own weapons but the EPU tighten up their ranks and Carey is forced to stay inside the ring.

After a few moments of cat and mouse Sektor is finally able to corner Carey in the corner and he charges at her and zaps her with the tasers…..right in the fun bags.

Carey begins to shake violently as Sektor is laughing as he holds the charges up against the breasts of Carey…

Joe Hoffman: I cannot watch this…

Benny Newell: Shut it….I am trying to focus …..oh fuck…he’s got a boner!!

Joe Hoffman: WHAT??

The cameras capture a bulge protruding from Sektor’s tights as obviously the excitement of the electricity and of having Voltage going thru Careys tits is too much for Sektor.

He drops the tasers and then realizes that he does indeed have a boner….

The crowd begins laughing hysterically as Sektor exits the ring and grabs the helmet off of one of the EPU officers and he covers his bulge as Boettcher checks on Carey inside the ring.

Sektor stands with his eyes closed as he holds the helmet over his “Jared” as its obvious that he is trying desperately to think of something to bring his boner down..


Finally, Sektor sighs a great sigh of relief and hands the helmet back to the officer and he turns back towards the ring and still sees Carey down and out.

Sektor slides into the ring and pushes Boettcher outta the way and drags Carey by her hair towards the center of the ring and lifts her legs up and gets ready to put her into a sharpshooter….but he pauses.

As he has Carey’s legs up in the air with each arm he cannot help but check out the camel toe that is in full force…..

Sektor quickly rolls Carey over as he felt his “Jared” coming on and locks in his Di-Sektion ankle lock.

Joe Hoffman: Finally a wrestling hold!!

Carey is sweating profusely and the sweat is glistening off her skin and just as she is ready to tap, the bead of sweat that Sektor was watching on her neck makes it down her back and thru the crack of her ass and its more than enough for Sektor to jump up off her and release the hold.

Joe Hoffman: Well if you didn’t think he had feelings for Carey before…I think its pretty clear he still does.

Benny Newell: Come on Joe…you never watched Soap go down the crack of another mans ass before and NOT get turned on…come on…its natural…..right?

Joe …in total shock..reaches for Benny’s flask once again and takes another shot as Sektor has now climbed out of the ring and can be seen walking up to his bodyguard and is getting what appears to be a leather whip that the man had rolled up inside his flak jacket.

Sektor smacks the whip on the steel ring steps and the sound of it echoes throughout the arena. Satisfied Sektor climbs into the ring and turns towards Carey who is up against the ropes trying to get back to her feet.

With a smile Sektor rears back and brings down the whip towards Carey…..

But it never connects….


Sektor turns to see his bodyguard holding the other end of the whip. Sektor begins screaming at him but the man refuses to let go. Sektor literally pulls the man into the ring with the whip still in his hand.

Sektor gets right into the man’s face but as he does the man lifts up a can and sprays its contents right into the eyes of Sektor…


Benny Newell: WHAT THE FUCK?????

Sektor stumbles backwards and turns blindly right towards Bobbinette Carey who drops down to her knees and reaches up and grabs Sektor right by his balls.


Benny Newell: WHAT???

Joe Hoffman: Carey calls that the Queens Grasp!!

Sektor is literally hopping up and down in pain as Carey squeezes hard with one hand. Now it is Sektor who drops down to his knees and Boettcher asks Sektor if he wants to quit but he says NO …..

But then Carey reaches up with her second hand and now it is a Double Queens Grasp….

She clenches down hard with both hands and again Boettcher asks Sektor if he quits and this time he squeals out YES!!


Carey refuses to let go of the hold however as now Sektor is lying on his back and Carey is in front of him squeezing hard.

The EPU forgets about the traitor bodyguard and rushes into the ring and begin to pummel Carey with their nightsticks and the crowd boos loudly as a couple EPU members lift Sektor up and literally carry him towards the back as the rest of the EPU take Carey into custody.

Joe Hoffman: Carey gets the win but I am afraid it might not of been worth it as she is now in the custody of the EPU!!

The action cuts backstage as The Best Arena is watching all the replays on the HOV before the action gets picked up in the locker room.


Waiting for the Fight to Start..

The show cuts to the Best Arena basement, where the HOFC ring is ready for the upcoming MMA bout between Aceldama and Trent. Also ready for the match is the Cyclops himself, standing in the middle of the ring with a mic in hand.

Trent: So here we are, yet again steppin’ down the dusty steps to experience DeNucci’s little experiment once again but unlike all those other HOFC matches ya’ve experienced up ’til now, matches between jobbers, hacks and talentless thugs, tonight yer gonna experience the real fuckin’ deal. Tonight, ya’ve got two of the top fuckin’ heavyweights in the company, the top two outright fuckin’ fighters around, facing off in a Mixed Martial Arts extrava-fuckin’-ganzer. Well, ‘least that’s what you’d fuckin’ hope.

Trent begins pacing the ring.

Trent: Ya see, while I’ve been bustin’ my arse trainin’, gettin’ match fit and workin’ on my gameplan, while I’m good to get fuckin’ goin’ right here, right fuckin’ now, my opponent’s a different fuckin’ story. All fuckin’ week he’s been slackin’ off, takin’ it easy, kidnappin’ the Irish, gettin’ lost in Scottland while lookin’ fer Hereford, and generally preparin’ fer this fight it’s a day at the fuckin’ beach. Ya’d expect this fight to be top fuckin’ doller, ya’d expect our glorious World Champion show his true fightin’ colours and be utterly focussed on the match, just like me, but it doesn’t look like he is, does it? Fer all the words he’s spouted this past week, he ain’t had a single fuckin’ one worth listenin’ to and his actions’re nothin’ short of fuckin’ arrogance.

He stops and looks directly into the camera, a disbelieving look on his face.

Trent: He had a fuckin’ stoner tellin’ him to put the bong down and get down the fuckin’ gym, fer chrisake. His gameplan, it’s fuckin’ amountin’ to “Ug, me Aceldama hit Trent. He Trent fall down. Ug ug. Ace smash!” He’s plannin’ on just divin’ in here and knockin’ me the fuck out, like it’s that fuckin’ simple, like that ain’t gonna make him walk straight into a fuckin’ punch and get his nose rearranged from a whipped fuckin’ knee. That, ladies and gentlemen, is the World fuckin’ Champion who everyone’s been runnin’ fuckin’ scared.

Trent: As much as he’s achieved in wrestlin’, this ain’t wrestlin’ and his underhanded bullshit ain’t gonna fly. If he’s gonna beat me, he’s gonna have to try it the old fuckin’ fasioned way. If only he’d prepared, then ya fans at home and in the arena wouldn’t have to suffer three rounds of him fuckin’ back pedallin’, cowerin’ away from my shots and doin’ nothin’ but defend against hammerfists ‘n’ elbows on the ground. But hey, that’s how the World Champ rolls, he doesn’t hide behind his lackeys, he’s open to all challenges and takes them on head on… After failin’ to kill them… After settin’ a demented goblin to brutalise them… After he’s had Best weight things in his favour time and time again… Yeah, after all that he totally faces his challengers with open fuckin’ arms.

He tosses the mic from hand to hand before continuing.

Trent: All Aceldama fuckin’ bangs on about, it doesn’t fuckin’ match up to reality and that leads me to one fuckin’ conclusion. Aceldama’s livin’ his life believin’ in a lie. A lie Lee Best not only pulled over his eyes, but the whole fuckin’ company and fanbase to boot. He truely believes he’s the best, that all he’s accomplished has been on his own fuckin’ merit, that he did it all on his own. But he failed to see the strings ’round his wrists and stick up his arse as Best danced him around like the fuckin’ muppet he is. All Ace is is Best’s current fuckin’ Golden Boy. Best’ll do anything his fuckin’ power to maintain the great Aceldama’s false reputation and keep the World Championship in his control, even if it means goin’ behind the Champ’s back to all but hand him the fuckin’ win without him even knowin’. Soon Aceldama’ll start to fuckin’ realise he ain’t anythin’ special, soon he’ll be devestated when he understands just how fuckin’ wrong he is ’bout his ability, soon he’ll know he’s just another fuckin’ pawn on Best’s board… A pawn that’s about to be sacrificed to an opposin’ rook for the sake of the king he so misguidedly follows.

Trent: Tonight Ace, you understand just how fuckin’ serious I am ’bout fightin’ you, ’bout beatin’ you. Tonight you understand so that when we try to kill each other in D-Block you’ll put up a fight worthy of a World Champion, so that you defend the belt with yer every last fuckin’ breath and show what ya can really fuckin’ do when yer not sat comfortably on the fuckin’ safety net Best has hung out fer ya. It’ll give ya moment of glory, a glory all yer own and of yer own makin’… But only fer a moment, a fleetin’ moment in the heat of battle. After that moment, the glory will be gone, yer legacy ferever tarnished under the brutal revelations beheld that night when the World sees their true Champion crowned in the bloodied halls of Alcatraz. After I’m done with ya, Ace, there’ll be nothin’ left of ya worth Best’s use, ya’ll be finished, check mate.

The giant grins excitedly.

Trent: Now get yer gloves on, yer up after the break.

The show cuts to commercial.


Next Week

LSD TITLE MATCH David Black defends his Championship against Bobbinette Carey!

Aceldama vs. Trent
HOFC Match

Back live and once again the action cuts to the Best Arena Basement and we see Trent in the middle of the 30 by 30 mat surrounded by the handpicked 25 fans who surround the mat to watch this fight up close.

Joe Hoffman: Well I’m sure Trent is more than ready for his match with the HOW World champion. But this fight is not for titles, or even prestige. It’s for pride and it’s for one man conquering another.

Benny Newell: What, did you write that bullshit on the palm of your hand to say tonight? Aceldama is obviously going to win. This will be more one sided than Apollo Creed versus Ivan Drago.

Joe Hoffman: But Drago KILLED Creed in that match.

Benny Newell: EXACTLY.

Aceldama suddenly enters the basement without the HOW title belt. He steps onto the mat, and Rick ‘Even’ Stevens checks over Trent and Aceldama as they eyeball each other.

Rick Stevens asks each man if they are ready then signals for the start of this fight.


Joe Hoffman: Based off the size difference, id have to give the advantage to Trent. Although Aceldama isn’t a small man, he’s still only six foot two versus a seven footer and is giving up over 30 pounds.

Benny Newell: Won’t matter.

The two men circle each other, Aceldama and Trent both faking a couple of jabs to feel each other out. Suddenly, Trent with a fake left jab into a right cross then tries a superman punch with the left hand. Aceldama telegraphs the punches well and counters the superman punch with right straight that drops Trent!!!

Joe Hoffman: A knockdown only 20 seconds into the match!!!! Can Aceldama finish the fight!?

Aceldama is all over Trent who is on his side. Aceldama with hammer fists, but Trent is covering up well. Trent manages to pull Aceldama into full guard and controls the right wrist of Aceldama.

Aceldama with elbow smashes, but they aren’t very effective from the left side AND while in full guard. Several moments of posturing and mostly inactivity as Trent’s guard has Aceldama baffled.

Trent with good body shots from the bottom followed with a solid elbow to the head. Aceldama tries to pass guard into an attempt at maybe an arm triangle but Trent powers out and both men stand up.

Joe Hoffman: Great show of power by Trent to escape the Arm Triangle choke.

Trent with some good jabs and he nails a body kick to finish a good 3 strike combo. Aceldama tries to get underneath Trent and goes for some body shots, but Trent stops that with a right cross which Aceldama manages to partially block, but it’s enough to back him off.

Joe Hoffman: The reach advantage for Trent is more than enough, and Aceldama is going to have to be a lot more aggressive to get inside of it.

It’s as if Aceldama hears Joe Hoffman as he lunges forward and fakes a takedown, but as Trent goes to stop it, he exposes his chin, and Aceldama with a beautiful uppercut that rocks Trent.

Aceldama follows up with more hooks, but Trent covers up, and is blocking them.

Trent gets off a right hook of his own, that glances the side of the head and Aceldama slows up but the two now start trading shots back and forth, most of them missing, but a few connecting.

Joe Hoffman: Now a slugfest!!!!

Trent suddenly with a straight kick to the body that creates space and Trent follows up with a right straight, but it’s ducked and countered with an off balance left hook. Aceldama goes for the takedown but Trent recovers quickly and stuffs it.

Trent with a good knee as Aceldama backs off. Trent however isn’t done and goes for his own takedown, but it’s stopped by Aceldama and Trent eats a forearm to the head.

Aceldama and Trent exchange more wild punches when you hear the signal for the end of the round in 10 seconds. Trent nails a great jab-jab-straight combo to end the round.

Joe Hoffman: Great round by both men.

Benny Newell: Aceldama had to have won that round. He scored a knockdown and controlled the pace for the most part.

Joe Hoffman: id have to agree. Although Trent has a great guard which really saved him and you have to really wonder how Trent’s eye will come into play here as he just cant see every punch that will be thrown.

Aceldama has a bruise on his left cheek and Trent also battered with a cut on his upper lip that was attended to by HOW staff helping both fighters.

Round 2

The beginning of round two starts with a quick Trent takedown which surprises all, mostly Aceldama. Trent goes for the mount, but Aceldama keeps him in full guard. Trent tries to posture up, but it’s stopped by head control by Aceldama.

Many moments pass and we see very little, Aceldama keeping himself from damage by head and wrist control. Finally Rick Stevens steps in and stands the two men up for inactivity.

Benny Newell: Finally….Trent can’t do shit to Ace….doesn’t Rick Stevens know that?

Joe Hoffman: Maybe the eye coming into play there…Trent just can’t see clearly enough to formulate a game plan out of Aceldama’s guard.

Aceldama comes storming in with uppercuts, but is stopped by a jab by Trent. Trent with a body kick, but Aceldama scores a single leg take down, trapping Trent’s leg within his own.

Now in semi-full guard, Aceldama tries to posture up and possibly pass the guard, but Trent with great head control to prevent this.

Joe Hoffman: Note how Aceldama has Trent’s right leg trapped….this prevents Trent from locking his legs and also stops any attempt at getting to his feet. Now the goal here is for Trent to get that leg free to go to a complete guard, but Aceldama will try and pass as soon as that happens into a mount…..oh!!! AND ACELDAMA HAS THE MOUNT!!!!

Just as Joe described, Trent freed the leg, only for Aceldama to pass guard and go into full mount. Aceldama tries to rain down punches, but Trent is the bigger man and covers up extremely well. He turns to the side, and Aceldama still with hammer blows and punches, but they are blocked pretty well by Trent.

Joe Hoffman: Mistake by Trent….he’s giving up his back!!!

Trent does indeed give up his back to Ace, and Ace immediately goes for a choke, but Trent with wrist control even while Ace has his back. Ace with a body scissors and he has the rear naked choke half applied, the arms around the upper body, but wrist control stopping them being wrapped around the neck and head.

Trent slowly powers to his feet, while Ace is wrapped around him. Ace tries to cinch up, but Trent bends forward, and this causes Ace to be too high up on the back of Trent, and Trent drops forward, dropping Ace on his neck and shoulders.

This breaks the body scissors as we hear the sound for the ten second mark. Trent quickly transitions into an attempted Guiltoine, but Ace scrambles out of it as the round ends.

Round 3

Joe Hoffman: Much better job of control by Trent in the early minutes, but Aceldama with a strong half round.

Benny Newell: Ace will win that round for controlling the ground action.

Joe Hoffman: I don’t know, Trent scored a takedown early and stopped the little bit of stand up Ace tried. Trent also came dangerously close to a Guilotine in the closing seconds.

Benny Newell: It wasn’t that close. And besides, Ace escaped it.

Joe Hoffman: True. It depends on how the judges view it. If they exist…..

Beginning round three sees both men visibly tired. Trent with a body kick. No answer from Aceldama.

Another body kick by Trent. Aceldama tries a right hook but its blocked and countered with a jab.

Joe Hoffman: Slow looking punches by Aceldama.

A couple of jabs to Aceldama, then Trent goes for the kill by pressing the issue with aggressive hooks. Aceldama manages to avoid them and counters with an uppercut which rocks Trent, and sends him stumbling back.

Joe Hoffman: Trent’s hurt!!!!

Aceldama charges forward for the kill, but Trent nails a backpedalling right hook that actually sends Ace backward! Trent regains himself and goes for the superman punch, but it’s again countered with a right straight!!!!!!

Joe Hoffman: Trent goes down!!!!!!!

Aceldama takes a split second to realize Trent is down after eating a hard punch himself, but he springs on Trent, but Trent is again somehow able to recover quickly and Trent has Ace in full guard.

Ace with elbows, but little damage. Trent with elbows from the bottom, as well as blows to the body. Ace seems a bit slow, but is able to suddenly look for a Komura which comes after a few moments. However, Ace isn’t applying the Komura properly, and Trent uses the opportunity to power out and slip away and both men standing up.

Joe Hoffman: I think Trent will need a knockout to win this fight, and I’m sure he is looking for it!

Benny Newell: Like I said, Trent can’t do shit to Ace.

Ace with a right hook and Trent answers with a left cross. Now both men are slugging it out in the middle of the mat. Ace with a glancing uppercut, then a takedown!

Ten seconds left. Trent quickly powers out and away from Ace and back to stand up and Ace eats a body kick but Ace with another takedown as time expires.

Joe Hoffman: That was a great fight. Who do you give that round to?

Benny Newell: Aceldama.

Joe Hoffman: Of course. It’s very close, but on points alone, Ace did have what…three takedowns?

Joe Hoffman: Now we go to the judges score cards. Although I wouldn’t be surprised to see Lee Best filling out three score cards. Or five. Or even ten just to throw us off.

Benny Newell: Why would Lee do something like that?

Joe Hoffman: Are you seriously asking that Benny?

Benny Newell: …………..moving on…….

Suddenly, the door to the basement opens, and in walks a Pimp Called Rufus Jackson who immediately gets a pop from the fans in both the basement and the arena.


Rufus pulls a scorecard out of the breast pocket of his bright yellow suit and hands it to Rick Stevens. Rufus stands in the background as Rick calls for Aceldama and Trent to stand beside him.

Rick Stevens: Okay, and we now go to the judges scorecards to determine a winner. Judge #1 scores the fight 30-27, Judge #2 scores the fight 28-27, and Judge #3 scores the fight 30-27 for the winner by Unanimous Decision….the HOW WORLD CHAMPION ACELDAMA!!


Stevens raises Ace’s arm as Ace smiles. Trent looks pissed and he turns suddenly and nails a huge big boot to Rufus Jackson who was behind him, and storms out the room as the action cuts elsewhere..


Can you find the missing cap?



We return from break to the back parking lot of the Best Arena. The crowd stirs in the background as they realize they are back from break shortly before the camera pans over to Shane Reynolds making his way toward the back entrance. Wearing his full ring attire and holding his ICON title over his shoulder the Champion looks ready for a fight.

Benny Newell: There he is! Shane Reynolds, Lee Best’s chosen ICON Champion and on track to break his own record for the longest singles title reign in HOW in this incarnation!

Joe Hoffman: Indeed, love him or hate him Shane Reynolds personifies the will to win and the determination to do what is necessary to gain a victory even if I do not always agree with the methods.

Benny Newell: That’s ’cause you’re a pussy, Joe, a bald, scared pussy that’s afraid of a little Best Alliance Dick.

Joe Hoffman: That’s both untrue and a horrible analogy Benny, just how drunk are you?

Benny Newell: Drunk enough to fuck your mother.

Joe Hoffman: ..I wonder if Mayhem is hiring…

Benny Newell: Naw, I already ch-

??: Heh-Heh…

Back on the monitor Shane Reynolds is seen freezing as the familiar laugh fills the back lot.

??: Heh-heh, ready for your big match Shane? Going to put on a big show and prove to the world just how important the ICON title is to you? How important it is to you and Triple P and how you’re going to tear down the walls at Rumble at the Rock II with your monumental Title Match?..

Shane lowers the title off his shoulder and reaches up to let his air fall out of the pony tail he has it pulled back into. His hard, edgy face is highlighted by the deep frown as he looks around the near empty lot merely a few meters from the back doors of the Best Arena.

Shane Reynolds: I know that’s you Max.. And I know right now you’re probably thinking about blind siding me right now because you think with the surprise you’ll have an advantage. I know you’re a coward on the inside though Max and you know you can’t beat me fairly. You never could.. And you never will.

There was a pause as Shane looked ready to fight. Suddenly a light shines on Shane causing him to wince and lift his hands. As the light moves away the thing and some what feral face of Max Kael becomes visible.

Max Kael: You know Shane.. You’re absolutely right..

Suddenly the sound of tires squealing can be heard off camera as Shane spins to look in its direction shortly before a black Volkswagen beetle with neon pink and yellow polka dots on it roars into him!


Shane rolls over the top of it, spinning in the air before landing hard on the ground with a thud coming to a stop in a heap. The Volkswagen Beetle squeals to a stop as the passenger side window rolls down. Inside is a small girl with a heart shaped face sporting hair to match the color of the Beetle. One eye appears to be green while the other is blue giving her the appearance of a bag of skittles given form.

Max Kael: Ouch. Do you want to say it E?

The girl smiles and winks at Max.

Erites: That’s aaaaalllll you, Maxy!

Max Kael: Speedbump! Hehehehehe!

The Minister Maximillian Kael lifts his hands up toward his chest with his wrists bent back with his palms up in the air like an over excited little kid as he skips over to the car window. Once there he pulls a fat wade of bills and tosses it to the techno-colored punker inside who looks gleefully at her well earned cash.

Max Kael: Enjoy it Erites! You earned it! Now if you will excuse me I have an ICON title to claim. Tata for now! Oh and thanks for helping me escape earlier this week! I’ll make sure to send you a nice Christmas Ham..

Erites flashes him a peace sign before he Beetle roars off into the night, the heavy pulse of techno music filling the void before fading off into the distance. Left with the still unmoving Shane, Max skips over to the ICON title picking it up carefully.

Max Kael: Paying a friend to help you escape prison? 2000 Dollars. Paying a friend to perform a hit and run on another person? Priceless! Hehe.. aw it has a little scratch.. oh well.

Slinging the ICON title over his shoulder Max moved off to the side of the screen before reappearing with a large metal wheel chair which he wheeled over to Shane. Reaching down Max plunked Shane up and set him into the chair. As the ICON champions head fell to the side it was obvious blood was dripping from his mouth and from part of his head. His eyes were closed and only the shallow rising and lowering of his chest indicated he was still alive.

Max Kael: You know Shane, the trouble with you is that you’re so stuck on making it as a Champion you’re not paying enough attention to the fun details in life. See, tomorrow when you wake up and watch this on a replay you’re going to think about how terrible it is that you and Triple P will not get to have our ICONIC Showdown when what you should really be thinking is.. Boy! That Max pulled the wool over my eyes, shucks what a guy! He even brought in his number one fan to run me over!

Slamming Shane and the wheel chair through the back doors Max is immediately greeted by four EPU members each armed with batons and wearing black suits. Max ducks behind the wheel chair but a large smile remains on his face.

Max Kael: Easy boys.. I doubt Lee would appreciate it if during your attempt to apprehend me Shane here got more hurt them he already potentially is…

His hand snaked up around the unconscious Shane Reynolds’s throat where they tightened. Pushing Shane forward once again he eyed each member of the EPU as they looked on helplessly. Making their way toward the ring Max continued his merry little chat with his out cold companion.

Max Kael: People are always getting in the way of our friendship but really at the end of the day this is just business. Don’t take it personal Shane, you’re a heck of a beast and I’m glad to call you my brother and quasi son but this is bigger then me or you. This is about beating Jatt Starr’s record and well.. hell, I’d kill to break that. Literally but lets hope it doesn’t come to that!

Giggling to himself Max turns around a corner and proceeds toward the back stage area leading the main stage…


HOW ICON Title Match
Max Kael vs. Shane Reynolds
Singles Match

Singularity” by Doctor Steel cues up as the lights dim. The crowd boos loudly as Max Kael appears on the ramp pushing Shane Reynolds who was prone in the wheel chair.

In the ring Brian McVay looks confused but lifts the mic to his lips regardless as both competitors make their way down to the ring at the same time.

Brian McVay: Introducing first, the challenger.. Maximillian Kael! And accompanying him, the ICON Champion.. Shane Reynolds!

Joe Hoffman: They.. they aren’t still going forward with this match after that incident in the back are they?

Benny Newell: Fuck no! Lee wouldn’t.. he couldn’t let this happen! It’s unfair, unfair I says!

Joe Hoffman: Here is one of those rare circumstances where I agree with you Benny.. it’s.. been a strange night.

Benny Newell: I’ll fucking drink to that!

Joe looks over at Benny who lifts his flask. For a moment Benny looks over at Joe before offering the flask over. Joe eyes it for a moment.

Joe Hoffman: What the F, why not. You knew what DDT Stood for after all.

Hoffman takes the whiskey bottle and downs a shot, coughing loudly as he hands it back over to Benny who takes a shot of it as well.

Benny Newell: What the Fuck indeed.

Back in the ring Max Kael as rolled the unconscious Shane Reynolds into the ring and slides in behind him with the ICON Title draped over his shoulder as if he owned it already. Looking down at Shane he smirks as “Singularity” fades out.

Undead” cranks up on the speakers as Graystone appears heading down to the ring. The former acolyte of Max Kael and presently weapon of Lee Best appears in his typical ring attire save for a strange Zebra skin vest…

Joe Hoffman: What the heck is Graystone wearing?

Benny Newell: Uh.. I think that is the pelt of Equus quagga or known as the common Plain Zebra in laymen’s terms.

Hoffman takes a moment to shot Benny another puzzled look as once again tonight Benny showed an unparalleled amount of information on an obscure subject.

Joe Hoffman: How do you know that?

Benny Newell:… I don’t know..

Benny almost seems ready to cry out of fear and confusion as he takes another shot of Whiskey while Graystone climbs into the ring. Max eyes him for a moment and mouths “I like the cut of that vest”. Graystone doesn’t appear to acknowledge Max as he adjusts the vest as best he can, red slick stains appearing over the skin where the vest has moved over indicating it might still have wet blood on it.

Graystone forces Max into a corner before he checks on Shane who has not moved since being dropped in the ring. Picking up the title he holds it in the air before he gives it to McVay and signals for the bell much to everyone’s confusion.

Max comes out of the corner dancing back and forth like a boxer as he looks down at the fallen Shane before he puts his foot on his chest. Graystone drops down.




Just kidding, Shane doesn’t move and Max scores the pin fall. The fans boo tremendously at the lack of a match however Max holds his hands in the air and roars in triumph as if he just endured one of the more difficult matches of his career. He slides out of the ring and grabs the ICON Title before rolling back in, holding it high..



Joe Hoffman: Well I.. I admit I am surprised by the result of that match.. I was.. I guess expecting more from the B.A…

Undead” hits the P.A. suddenly as Max Kael’s head snaps toward the entrance ramp. Lee Best and Krista Lewis appear followed very quickly by Aceldama and the A-Listers flanked by the EPU staff. It should be noted that Sektor is currently being helped by two of the EPU staffers has he wears what appears to be some kind of reverse G-String with an official HOW Ice Pack firmly placed over his genitals.

Max turns to flee the ring only to see Graystone standing in the way with his arms crossed and a deadly expression on his face. Max arches his back and clutches the ICON title to his chest as the two psychotic predators have a stare down, neither willing to move for the other and yet neither engaging physically.

Aceldama charges forward and is the first into the ring causing Max to jump back toward a corner recognizing his now 2 – 1 disadvantage. However before Aceldama can attack Max, Graystone reaches out a hand and catches Aceldama’s shoulder indicating that only Graystone has the rights to lay hands on Max.

Meanwhile Lee Best and Krista circle on the outside while Sektor hobbles up the ring steps using a baton as a cane and Mark slides under the ropes with a baseball bat. The EPU surround the ring as all eyes turn to Max Kael who hugs the ICON title against his chest and crouches down in the corner..


Max reflexively curls into a ball however much to everyone’s surprise..


Sektor joins in as well along with Graystone as Aceldama is left stunned! Joe and Benny are equally unable to come up with explanations as Lee Best snatches a mic and rolls into the ring.

Lee Best: Get him! Fuck Shane up! Do it! Hit him Harder!

The A-Listers and Graystone continue the beat down on Sektor as Max and Aceldama look on in confusion. Aceldama grabs Lee suddenly but the collar and demands answers to which Lee holds his hands up and tries his best to sooth the savage beast.

Lee Best: Hey! Hey, calm down! You should have seen this coming Aceldama, this is just business! The Best Alliance only allows the best and unfortunately your blood brother here failed to uphold his part of the job. He lost to Max Kael and he lost to you. You’re the better brother, you’re the one the Best Alliance wants.. this is just business!

Aceldama points a finger in Lee’s face and demands that he call off the attack as Lee seems to relent.

Lee Best: OK! Ok!.. Jeez just calm down, fuck..



Aceldama drops to the mat as once again Max looks on in utter confusion along with everyone else. As smoke can almost literally be seen exiting Max’s hears as his brain tries to figure out what the fuck is going on the A-Listers leave the beaten and broken Shane and proceed to attack Aceldama as well!

Lee Best: FUCK YOU, ACELDAMA, YOU DON’T FUCKING PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME! You fuck, you’re done, washed up! I got the best months out of you and now I’m kicking you to the curb like the filthy used condom you are! How dare you fucking put your ego and pride ahead of Lee Best! You want to stay buddy-buddy with Shane Reynolds then you can go to hell with him as well!

Mark O’Neil pulls back to swing his bat at Aceldama and unintentionally hits Sektor in the crotch causing the EPU Representative to collapse to the ground screaming and holding his junk. Just the same Mark doesn’t seem to notice and connects with a stiff shot with the baseball bat to Aceldama’s ribs causing the big man to wilt into a ball while Graystone reigns down a series of stiff kicks, his bloodied Zebra Vest starting to send streams of crimson lines down his arms.

Max continues to cower in the corner as Aceldama is decimated unable to leave but thus far being left alone. As Aceldama stops moving the assault on him ends and Lee Best turns his attention to Max Kael.

Lee Best: Max fuckin’ Fail.. how you doing over there Champ?

Max shrugs and indicates he would feel much better if he were not in the ring right now.

Lee Best: No fucking shit? Stand up… I have something to say to you.

The Minister slowly rises to his feet, the ICON title held tightly against his chest as his confused expression continues to play out across his face. Lee steps forward as Mark O’Neil steps back to check on Sektor who he has just realized is on the ground holding his nuts once again.

Lee extends a hand toward Max.

Lee Best: Congratulations.. Max Kael..

The crowd begins to boo loudly as the conspiracy seems to make itself known. A broad smile slithers over Max Kael’s face as he reaches out his hand shaking Lee Best. Benny cheers for the return of Max Kael to the Best Alliance!


Max hits the mat hard and curls into a ball holding his side where Graystone had just speared him. Graystone rises and glares down at Max Kael as Lee applauds Graystone as once again everyone is left in total confusion.

Reaching down Graystone grabs Max Kael as the EPU pour into the ring holding Max in a kneeling position.

Lee Best: A few weeks ago you embarrassed me Max. You and some no fucking talent noobie attacked me on Mayhem and left me unconscious on the Mayhem Stage. I’m like an Elephant Max.. I never forget and I’m always happy to trample your ass into the ground.

Lee pulls a pair of pliers from his pocket as Graystone forces Max’s mouth open. The Minister struggles and screams as best he can with his mouth being held open however with the rest of the EPU holding his arms, legs and body he is unable to free himself. Lee looks over the needle nose pliers for a second before he looks at Max.

Lee Best: Max you tarnished my reputation and that sort of thing has a permanency to it. You took something from me.. so now I’m gonna take something permanent from you.

Shoving the pliers into Max Kael’s mouth the crowd lets out a collective cry of fear as Max’s high pitched screams of agony fill the arena. After a few moments Lee Best pulls what appears to be a molar free from Max Kael’s mouth, the white tooth covered in thick red blood.


Graystone is quick to grab a near by Baton and crack Max Kael in the back of the head with it knocking his former master out with it. As the new ICON Champion is laid out blood can be seen running from the corner of his mouth. Lee looks the tooth over in the palm of his hand before he lifts the mic back up.

Lee Best: Aceldama.. Shane Reynolds.. Max Kael.. HOW is LEE BEST’S Fucking show.. let tonight be a warning to any of your sick fuckers.. you cross Lee Best and I’ll tear you apart.

Holding the tooth up over his head he glares down at the three of them once again.

Lee Best: Piece by fucking piece so help me God..


Show Details

The Best Arena

Chicago, Illinois

Show times

  • 9:00PM