Turmoil: November 26th, 2009 (2009)

Weekly Show | 120 Min

Show Transcript

Thursday Night Turmoil
November 26th, 2009 – #HOW95
The Best Arena, Chicago IL


‘Tis the season to be giving…

The HOTv logo fades out and Turmoil opens up to Mike Best staring at someone off camera. His face is a mix of confusion and uncertainty. Leaning forward and reached his hand out to whoever was off screen. After a second he leaned back with a hand three stacks high with cash.

Mike Best: You’re serious about this? I was kinda joking when you asked but.. I mean you’re here with the donation.

The camera pans back as the dark suited form of Max Kael comes into view. His dark hair was carefully slicked back and he had a particularly wicked looking smile on his face.

Max Kael: Oh I am always serious, Mike Best. Just ask your brother, when I set my mind to something I never give up on it. And this is one of those things I am not going to give up on.

Mike Best: Well, I hate to go behind anyone’s back however I did promise that if you donated a considerable sum of money to a good cause I would grant you what you asked for. Dana!

Mike stands up from behind his desk and calls his assistant over. A young man with black hair marked with blond streaks heads into Mike’s office nodding to his employer. Mike hands the money off.

Mike Best: Dana, please take this money and donate it to.. hmm.. GLAAD. Have it sent compliments of one Maximillian Kael, HOW Wrestling and ICON Champion.

Max Kael: Oh hell..

Mike Best: Hey, it’s a good cause, you should be proud of yourself, particularly on Thanksgiving. Now about what you wanted Max, I th-

The ICON Champion holds up his hand and pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and unfolds it with a smirk on his face. Mike Best sighs and dismisses Dana as he walks back around to behind his desk where he sits down. Max Kael clears his throat before speaking, reading off his paper.

Max Kael: This Thanksgiving of November 26, 2009 by the advisement of Maximillian Kael and under the Order of Mike Best the Wrestler and Referee known as Jatt Starr is hereby banished from the Best Arena. He is stripped of his right to Referee as well as his right to appear on the program in any form beyond his immediate expulsion from the Best Arena. This is in effect until the end of Thursday Night Turmoil.. so I guess what I am trying to say is..

Best rolls his eyes and runs his hands through his hair as Max Kael turns toward the camera. Pulling his black suit coat off Max reveals a referee’s uniform.


The action cuts to the announcers as the picture fades out with a huge smile on the face of the ICON Champion.


Happy Holidays..

The action cuts to the announce table at ringside inside The Best Arena and we see Joe and Benny in their customary seats with Benny sporting his Santa Clause hat and we see the rabid fans behind them in the first few rows screaming and trying to get into the shot as Turmoil is officially underway.

Joe Hoffman: Welcome to Thursday Night Turmoil and most importantly Happy Thanksgiving to all the High Octane fans out there watching tonight on High Octane Television. I am Joe Hoffman and I am very thankful for being able to work with my good friend all these years…Benny Newell.

Benny Newell: I wish I could say the same about you Joe but the minute that company from Orlando calls I am outta here, especially if Lee isn’t going to be around here anymore.

Joe Hoffman: So what are you thankful for crab butt?

Benny Newell: I am thankful that tonight is the last show of 2009 and that the little queer Ryan Faze is done ruining what used to be the flagship show of HOW…Monday Night Mayhem.

Joe Hoffman: Well I can tell already that you are going to be a joy to work with tonight. And speaking of tonight it is indeed the final Turmoil of 2009 and tonight we will see the finals of the HOFC Tournament and we also will have another HOFC bout when Mario Maurako heads down to the basement to take on Mr. Cool of The Egg Bandits in a preview of the big Falls Count Anywhere Tag Team Championship match at ICONIC.

Benny Newell: Ya two HOFC matches are a sure fire fucking way to keep the viewers tuned into a go home show let me tell you….you might as well tell them to turn the fucking channel and watch their DVR tapings of Melrose Place…I mean seriously this HOFC shit HAS to quit airing here on Turmoil..

Joe Hoffman: Again…nothing but a joy Benny. Anyways also tonight we will see former World Champion contender, Trent, taking on Jay Davis in a match that was supposed to be reffed by Jatt..err..Simon Sparrow…..but instead Max Kael has instead bought his way as ref for that match and also the Chris Ck versus Justin Decent match.

Benny Newell: Simon Sparrow is retarded…another reason Lee needs to get back here now. I don’t care if Jatt’s real name was Hugh Fucking Hefner…he is Jatt Starr to me dammit…and Jatt FUCKING Starr needs to wake up and realize that Maximillian Kael is obsessed with him and he needs to kick that freaks ass….ASAP!

Joe Hoffman: Again the holiday spirit just rolls off your tongue doesn’t it? Again…I will try to move on…..tonight folks our big six man tag team match pits opponents at ICONIC as the Tag Team Champions Twisted Reality will team up with the ICON Champion Maximillian Kael as they take on ICON Challenger Shane Reynolds and the Brothers of the Beast who are a part of that big tag team match at ICONIC which comes to you live on December 14th on HOTv from inside the famed arena…Madison Square Garden.

Benny Newell: That is the one place I have never wrestled in my famous and glorious career…MSG…the Mecca of Sports.

Joe Hoffman: Well sorry to hear that Benny but at least you will be able to sit there and call what could be one of the most important Pay Per Views in the history of High Octane Wrestling.

Benny Newell: Yippee..cannot fucking wait.

Joe just shakes his head as Benny reaches for his ICONIC official HOW Flask and takes a drink as Joe continues..

Joe Hoffman: Ok tonight folks we are going to kick off the show with Mario Maurako taking on Mr. Cool in a HOFC bout and ……hold on….wait a minute…I am getting word from the truck that something is going on backstage…let’s cut there now……from what I could understand it involves the arriving Jatt Starr!!



Backstage Jatt Starr, who is wearing a referee’s shirt, is being escorted out by five security guards. Two of the guards look dishevelled as though Jatt Starr had put up quite the fight. Two guards have Starr by his arms, two have him by his legs, and the fifth is carrying Starr’s bag. Jatt Starr is screaming and struggling as he is being escorted out.


Guard #1: We’ve told you, this is a direct order from Mike Best. Now stop squirming Jatt or Simon or whatever you are calling yourself.

Jatt Starr: LIES!!! ALL LIES!!!

Guard #2: It’s true. Max Kael donated a shitload of money to some gay and lesbian organization and for making such a hefty contribution, Max Kael got his way.

Jatt Starr: What the heck are you talking about?

Guard #1: Mike Best agreed to have you relieved from all of your duties this evening because Max Kael made a charitable contribution.


Guard #5: We spoke with Mike Best directly. We could care less who refs what match but when we get an order, we follow it. Comprende amigo?

Jatt Starr: Max Kael and Mike Best? Conspiring against me? Rest assured, they will not be welcome in the zombie compound.

Guard #1: Are you going to cooperate now?

Jatt Starr: Fine! Release me.

The Security Guards release Jatt Starr who begins walking on his own volition. Just before he exit’s the arena he turns to the guards.

Jatt Starr: I saved the Best Arena from a zombie attack. I am the GAZA.

The security guards look confused.

Jatt Starr (sighing): Guardian Against Zombie Attacks….and this is the thanks I get. Betrayed by Mike Best….thanks to Max Kael.

Jatt Starr opens the door and exits the arena.


The opening moments of Turmoil were brought to you by G.L.A.A.D..and Maximillian Kael of course


Mario Maurako vs. Mr. Cool

Back live and we are welcomed back with a replay of Jatt Starr being escorted from the building before the break on the huge High Octane Vision screen above the entrance ramp. The Arena is buzzing as Joe and Benny cut to the basement where Mario Maurako, who is sporting a protective mask after the heinous attack on Monday, and Mr. Cool are set to square off inside the HOFC confines.

The cameras cut to the basement and we see the Mario Maurako and Mr. Cool being given instructions from HOFC referee Rick “Even” Stevens.

Mario is talking shit to Cool about the egging from last weeks Turmoil which saw The Egg Bandits pelt The Maurako Family, Mike Best and Embosser with eggs after the heinous attack put on by the Family to Roxie.

Back to the action and the first round is pretty even as Mario and Cool go at each other pretty hard at the beginning of the round but both men are gassed by the end of the round and the round ends with hardly any fireworks at all.

The second round is a different story altogether as Mario is able to catch Cool with an uppercut as Cool was charging in for a takedown.

Cool went down hard and Mario jumped on him and rained down with several right hands before Stevens was forced to call for the action to stop.


As the doors open to signal the end of the bout several unknown women rush in and overtake Mario and literally drag him out as the action cuts to the parking lot.

The cheers from the women in the crowd can be heard all over the arena as Mario is led kicking and screaming by a mob of women.


A Twisted Entrance

We cut to the back entrance of The Best Arena where we see a brand new black 2010 Chevrolet Corvette ZR1 pull up to the door and revving the engine before it shuts off and the doors open as we see Scottywood, John Hitchin and Frankie the Cameraman exit from the vehicle.

Frankie: I still think you should have gotten the hybrid…or waited until the new Chevy Volt comes out in a year.

Scottywood: Frankie, I don’t want to pussy ass hybrid or electric quote on quote car. I want something with some real fuckin power. This thing has 638 horsepower and can top out at around 205 mph

Hitchin: Congratulations, you can go over triple the speed limit. I would love to see that ticket.

Scottywood: They’d have to catch me to give me one…and only like Tony Stewart would be able to do that.

Popping the trunk of the car Scotty grabs his bag and pulls out his barbwire hockey stick as Hitchin also grabs his bag and sledgehammer as the two make their way to the wrestler entrance of The Best Arena. But as they approach the door they seem a large amount of HOW security standing in front of it.

Scottywood: Excuse me guys, it’s sorta tough to get through a door with you all standing here.

Security: I’m sorry Mr. Woodson but I have orders from Mike Best to search you and Mr. Hitchin before you enter the arena tonight.

Scottywood: Search us? For what?

Security: For weapons, especially that hockey stick and sledgehammer.

Scottywood: And what if I don’t hand over these weapons? What if we forcibly make our way through that door?

Security: Um….Mike Best stated that if you do not comply you will not be allowed in the arena, forfeit your match tonight and forfeit the Tag Team titles. And if you lay a finger on us you’ll be arrested and sent to jail.

Pausing for a moment as Scotty stares at the obviously uncomfortable security guard as Scotty contemplates his decision as he takes his hockey stick and brings it back like he is going to swing it and then quickly places it in the hands of the security guard as he looks over at Hitchin and nods who gives up his sledgehammer to another guard.

Scottywood: I better be getting those back the moment we leave the arena, or I’m hunting your ass down. Now get out of my way.

Security: We just have to pat you down and then we’ll let you in.

Hitchin: You just better watch where your hands go.

The guards quickly pat down the two and don’t find any other weapons as they step aside and let Scottywood, Hitchin and Frankie into the arena.

Scottywood: Mike Best has more to fear tonight then a hockey stick and a sledgehammer.

Security: That is why we are now going to escort you to your locker room, where Mike Best said you must stay until your match later tonight.

Scottywood: Are you fuckin’ kidding me?

Hitchin: What great hospitality for my first Turmoil.

Frankie: What about my claustrophobia?…..I can’t stay in the same room for that long!

Security: Who are you? Mike Best said nothing about a scrawny child. You can do whatever you want.

Scottywood: Fine, we’ll stay in the locker room, but you go tell Mike Best that no matter what he does it isn’t going to change what I am going to do. He is just making me more annoyed.

Hitchin: And I thought you were an ass when you ran NGW, but this guy really takes the cake.

Frankie: Cake!?!

Scottywood: I agree….except with the me being an ass part. I mean what kind of America do we live in where we can’t bring a barbwire hockey stick and a sledgehammer into an arena?

Frankie: A Christopher America!

Scottywood: Please do remind me that he is back. If there is was just one wrestler I could punch straight in the face it is him…..ok Mario Maurako too….but you get my point.

Hitchin: Yes, that your all menstrual still about him taking your LSD title.

The three arrive at their locker room which they make their way inside and toss their bags down as the security guard tries to make his way inside after them.

Scottywood: No, no, no. If I have to stay in here all night then you fucks aren’t going to be in here. Guard the door all you want but I don’t wanna see your ugly fuckin facing.

Slamming the door on them, Scotty make his way over to his bag and pulls out his laptop and places it down the table and starts it up as a smile comes to his face.

Scottywood: We might not be able to leave, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun.

Hitchin: I’m not watching internet porn with you.

Scottywood: Ha ha ha, no I have something else in mind, Frankie, go put on your suit and tie.

Frankie: Do I have to?

Scottywood: Yes.

Frankie starts to pout as he reaches for his bag and opens it up as Scotty starts furiously typing on his laptop as we cut away.


Graystone vs. Shane Reynolds vs. Max Kael©

Tim Shipley vs. David Black©

HOFC Tournament Winner vs. Michael DeNucci©

Brothers of the Beast vs. The Egg Bandits vs. The Maurako Family vs. Twisted Reality©

Trent vs. Jatt Starr

Erites Kallisten vs. Kirsta Lewis


Trent vs. Jay Davis
Singles Match

Back live and we cut to a replay of Mario being led out of the basement and off to an undisclosed location by several unknown women.

Joe and Benny argue if that was a good or bad thing as the crowd erupts into a true mixed reaction as Maximillian Kael makes his way out for the first of his two matches to ref tonight.

Kael climbs into the ring where Jay Davis is already standing and Max just smirks at the man as he slowly takes off the ICON Championship from around his waist and he raises it high in the air and basks in all its glory before being interrupted as Trent makes his entrance.

Trent and Max have a quick face off in the ring as Joe notes that Max has had a tendency to kick Trent in the groin area whenever they have faced off.

After a few moments Max signals for the bell and the match starts but before a move can even be executed by Davis or Trent, Kael nails Davis in the back of the head with the ICON Championship and the 7 foot Trent quickly gets in the face of Kael and again the two are talking smack but that quickly ends as well as Max swiftly kicks the bigger man right in the family jewels, knocking Jatt Starr’s opponent at ICONIC down to his knees, and then follows up with a shot to the face with the ICON Championship.

The crowd is booing loudly as Max plays a quick game of Eenie Miny Moe and with his finger finishing up on Davis, Max shrugs and drags Trent over and places the big man on Davis and he makes the three count.


Post match we see Max place his foot on both men and he raises the ICON Belt high in the air as the action cuts away.


Motivational Speaking…

The flicking, orange flames were threatening to dwindle into nothing more than embers, as the HOV lit up and displayed an image of it. To the left of it, the shadow of a man could be seen, reflected by the moon overhead and made uneven and seem to be swaying slightly as the fire danced. Still, enough of it was clear enough to be seen that whomever it belonged to was raising their arm.

Benny Newell: Ten bucks it’s the emo!

Suddenly, a white coat appeared and dropped onto the fire. For a second it looked as though it was the drop which doused the flames, but quickly, they reappeared, engulfing what was clearly a Doctor’s coat and reaching up towards the sky further than ever. It it’s new glow, no longer could one shadow be seen, but four.

???: Do you think I’m crazy?

The voice immediately reveals that the original shadow is indeed Shane Reynolds – a fact clarified further as the pipe he used on Mayhem two weeks ago drops into the fire next. Joe Hoffman sighs and hands over a ten-dollar bill as Shane’s shadow turns as he does. The camera pulls back to reveal him full now, already dressed in his wrestling attire. and with his face traditionally paints…and that the three he is now facing are the comprised members of the official number one tag-team title contenders, Brothers of the Beast.

Shane Reynolds: Do you?

His voice calm, solemn even as he repeats the question.

Jason Midnight: Crazy is a very strong word… how about colorful? No? What about insane? Stark raving mad? Bloody f-


Jason Midnight: -nuts? Any of those doing it for you? But crazy? Not at all.

Shane suddenly sweeps forwards, in mutual anger and frustration. Neither of the men with whom he will be teaming tonight flinch or move. Still, however, Shane holds his face close to each of theirs in turn.

Shane Reynolds: No, none of those do it for me. Because I’m not crazy, or any of those things. What I am is sick….sick to death and sick in the mind…and my sickness is a direct by-product of everything Maximillian Kael and Graystone have done to me…to my family. Everything I have become is because of what they still are trying to do to me. They are a plague on High Octane Wrestling, and I was their first sufferer – but no more. Come ICONIC, I will bury them……and in doing so, I will be cured of all the afflictions they have bestowed upon me.

The height difference is none more visible than as Jason Midnight turns his head a little further downwards, in order to fully look the smaller Shane Reynolds directly in the eye.

Jason Midnight: Listen, Mr. Reynolds, I don’t care who you are or how crazy you may or may not be, or everyone else thinks you are. The only thing I care about is winning this match and continuing my run of dominance over the other tag teams.

Shane stared back up towards him, his expression returning to its previous calm serenity, although some residual, passionate fire seemed to linger within those staring eyes.

Shane Reynolds: Well, you know what I want?

He asked, his tone almost pleading, only barely able to restrain her hands from reaching up and gripping Jason Midnight’s collar in equal action to his tone.

Shane Reynolds: More than anything, I want everything I just said. I want that boy and that girl…if it is indeed her…returned to me and to give them the happy lives children deserve and should enjoy, not a life with maniacs! I’ve realized that I want a normal life. I want peace. And you know what else? While not everyone gets what they want, I intend to – and it starts tonight.

His hand suddenly flew upwards, not in attack, but to throw the mask he had worn previously, whilst tending Michelle’s grave. It shatters into small pieces amongst the still burning fire.

Shane Reynolds: But the question remains, Gentlemen, can you forgo all previous alliances to Maximillian Kael? Because don’t think I’ve forgotten about that. And don’t think that should you betray me, that I won’t bury you three once I’ve buried both of them.

Jason Midnight: Alliance with Maximillian Kael? What alliance? The guy gave me a cheer and let me beat some heads in. That’s hardly the basis for a long standing friendship or allegiance. He’s just a man. A man I have some respect for, but that won’t stop me from ripping his head off his shoulders if he gets in my way. Does that answer your question? And don’t think that I wouldn’t do the same to you if you get in my way as well.

Shane mulled the comments over, rolled them back and forth across his mind, trying to decide his own responsive thoughts to them. The collective tag-team standing in front of him waited for it, and when about thirty seconds passed without anything, they glanced at each other. And as Shane suddenly began pacing back and forth, Jason Midnight went to speak again….only for Shane to cut him off with another question.

Shane Reynolds: How bad do you want to defeat Twisted Reality? How bad do you want to be tag-team champions?

He stopped pacing the moment the question had completely departed from his mouth, and took his turn waiting for an answer.

Jason Midnight: How badly do I want to beat Twisted Reality? How bad do I have to want to beat them? Me and Scotty have done this dance before and every time I come out in the lead. He’s nothing and his no-name tag partner is just as bad. Hitchcock hasn’t done a damn thing here in HOW and now he’s got gold? For what? Because Scotty couldn’t get anyone important to team with his doomed team?

Shane can already begin to see the desire concerning the tag-team championship building as brightly within his eyes as the fire behind them both.

Jason Midnight: Twisted Reality doesn’t deserve to be champions. They got lucky. One night. One draw of the cards and they came out ahead. Big deal. And then the Maurakos. They never earned the championship and they certainly didn’t earn their way into this match. Neither did the Egg Bandits, those titles won’t mean a damn thing until they’re on the waists of a team that’s earned them. And that won’t happen until ICONIC.. and you can bet that I have every intention of giving those titles some measure of integrity by making sure the Brothers of the Beast walk out the new Tag Team Champions.

Shane takes the last object from the pocket of his trench coat and, turning just briefly throws it onto the fire, revealing it as the hood to the Grim Reaper outfit her worse recently.

Shane Reynolds: I’m glad, but if that’s how you truly feel, then you need to put that respect for Max Kael aside. Because he doesn’t feel any for you. He doesn’t feel any for anybody. The fun and games are over. We are only a few weeks away from ICONIC and I want to be the one that leaves here with the momentum heading towards it. If you are able to do that and help me leave Max heading into those few weeks a physically broken man, then I’ll help you guarantee that you are the tag-team heading towards ICONIC with your own momentum and a victory over Twisted Reality.

Shane, having said all he requested their presence, moves slowly passed them, leaving the fire containing everything he has worn and used over the last few weeks to burn black and become nothing but ash. He chances once glance back as he reaches the roof’s door, to see them talking amongst themselves. Looking up as they notice him, Midnight speaks one last time.

Jason Midnight: One more thing, Mr. Reynolds, I want to start the match and I’ll show you just how serious I am about destroying everyone who gets in my way. Shane disappears back inside as the show cuts away to another part of the show.

With nothing more than a silent nod, Shane accepts his request, before disappearing through the roof’s door and the scenes gives way to another commercial.


Go to EWTORCH.com to see where all your favorite High Octane Wrestlers rank among their peers


Best Applicants

Back live and we cut back to Mike Best’s office we Mike sitting behind his desk and Embosser standing next to him with Brian Bare sitting in front of the desk. Mike is just staring at Bare who seems to be very fidgety and not being able to sit still at all.

Mike Best: Are you kidding me?

Brian Bare: Excuse me?

Mike Best: You look coked out of your damn mind.

Brian Bare: Coke out? I have no idea what you are talking about.

Mike Best: Don’t lie to me. I can see the damn coke still under your nose.

Bare quickly rubs his hand under his nose as he snorts up the left over coke and gets a small kick from it as Mike Best just shakes his head and motions to Embosser who walks over to Bare and grabs him under the shoulder and starts to drag Bare out of the office.

Brian Bare: So when can I come for the follow up interview?

Embosser completely drags him out of the office as Mike Best crumples up the resume and tosses it at the trashcan. With the office door being left wide open we see Frankie the Cameraman walking into the office, a piece of paper in his hand as Mike Best has a look of shock on his face as Frankie walks over to the desk and places the piece of paper on Mike’s desk.

Frankie: Hi, I’m Frankie Calrissian. Are you still accepting applications for the General Manager job? I have a resume and everything.

Mike Best: Oh you have a resume? Lets take a look at this.

Quickly skimming over the resume you can see Mike trying to withhold his laugher as Frankie sits down in the chair and looks at Mike Best anxiously.

Mike Best: Cameraman and Director of Photography for Next Generation Wrestling, where you also were a wrestler and won multiple championships. Part time cameraman for HOW here. Very impressive Mr. Calrissian….I’d love to hire you right now on the spot.

Frankie: Really!!

Mike Best: No! You think I would let anyone even remotely associated with Scottywood be General Manager? EMBOSSER!!

Fearing the big man, Frankie quickly gets up from the chair and bolts out of the office and down the hallway as Mike just shakes his head and tosses Frankie’s resume towards the trashcan.

Mike Best: Seriously? What kind of freaks did Lee hire here?

Voice: Oh come on, Frankie would have made a great General Manager.

Looking around quickly for the source of the voice, Mike looks at his computer monitor and sees the face of one half the HOW Tag Team champions Scottywood in a video chat window.

Mike Best: How the hell did you get into my computer?

Scottywood: Well very few know that I really like computers…and I really hate using the word hacking….but I essentially hacked into your PC. I mean you really left me no choice after you confined me to my locker room until the main event. You’d be surprised how little there is to do in those rooms. You should think about putting in some PS3 or X-Box 360…you can probably get them cheap tomorrow on Black Friday.

Mike Best: Get off my computer now! I have a lot of interviews to finish and I don’t have time to deal with some punk Tag Team champion who thinks he is hot shit.

Scottywood: Ya, I see that the process is going real well…Got some real winners to pick from so far.

Mike Best: You want to keep pushing my buttons Scotty? Because I’ll make sure you’ll regret it.

Scottywood: How? You’re certainly not going to push back. I mean look at those arms of yours. They look like damn tooth picks.

Mike Best: That’s it! I’m done with this.

Scottywood: Ok….bye darling, I will…..

Getting up from his desk Mike pulls the plug on the computer, shutting it off and cutting Scottywood off mid sentence as he takes a seat back behind his desk as Embosser makes his way back into the office.

Mike Best: Bring me the next applicant….and I hope he isn’t a wacko.


A Fat Segment..

The action returns and the HOV comes to life and a video begins to play…

Camp Lakota Wisconsin, June 1994.

Affectionately known as FAT CAMP by unwilling campers and staff alike. It’s late at night, and virtually everyone on the camp ground is fast asleep in their respective bunks. Crickets can be heard chirping, and leaves rustling. An unknown figure, a shadowy and large silhouette, makes its way from the sleeping quarters toward the mess hall. A beam of moonlight onto the figure’s face reveals that this silhouette belongs to a young, ten year old Justin Decent. Young Justin creeps toward the mess hall doors, but is saddened to find them locked. What luck! One of the windows on the south end of the building has been left propped open. Young Justin, who weighs a startling 200 lbs, attempts to pull his massive body up through the window. After several minutes of wheezing and struggling, young Justin falls into the cafeteria.

Young Justin – YES! Now, to the kitchen…

He tip toes into the kitchen, where he finds the unlocked refrigerators, freezers and pantry. A huge smile covers the face of the young, rotund Justin Decent.

Young Justin – Jackpot.

The young Justin raids the freezer and pops the lid off of three tubs of ice cream and begins to gorge. After polishing off all three tubs, he moves in on the frosted cookies in the pantry. The carnage is incredible. The kitchen looks as though an atom bomb was dropped and detonated in the refrigerator. Young Justin now begins to feast upon stray cupcakes and potato chips without pride or prejudice. His appetite is incredible, almost inhuman. Something one would hear in tales and legends of old. Even the wrappers and packages aren’t safe, being edible isn’t even a prerequisite for young Justin’s hunger.

Young Justin – Mmmmmmmmm..!!

Young Justin’s euphoric eating experience soon draws to a close, as three camp counselors enter the kitchen and lay eyes on Justin. Counselor isn’t a very good word for these three gentlemen in their mid to late teens, as they have reputations of terrorizing the overweight campers and being bullies.

Camp Bully # 1 – Well well well, what have we here?

Camp Bully # 2 – Looks like it’s Justin Decent, a fitting name for a ten year old slob sitting on the floor making love to Little Debbie and Sarah Lee!

The camp counselors laugh heartily. Young Justin knows he’s in for trouble and tries to escape, however after sprinting a mere seven feet he loses his breath and falls to the ground. The camp counselors laugh even harder, and pick him up off of the ground.

Camp Bully # 3 – This is going to hurt you A LOT more than it’s going to hurt us…

Young Justin – Please….Noooooooo…

The camp counselors begin to beat the living tar out of young Justin. They throw him into the wall, slam his head with the refrigerator door, kick his ribs, stomp his knees…the works. Young Justin begins to scream and shout for help, but his pleas are met with no response. The beating continues until young Justin loses consciousness.


“Am I Dead?”


Justin Decent wakes up, sitting on a cot in his dressing room at the Best Arena. Disoriented, he realizes it’s Thursday night and his Turmoil match is about to start.

Santoro: JUSTIN!

Justin Decent: Oh god…Santoro I just had the most horrible dream. Well, it wasn’t even really a dream. It was more like reliving a horrible memory; I got my ass kicked by these bullies when I was a kid. I can still feel the pain of that beating; it was the beat down of the century.

Santoro: Well that dream is going to become another reality if you don’t pull it together. Your match with Chris CK is about to start, and if you don’t get your head in the game he’s going to beat your ass down too.

Justin Decent: Phheeeww…alright, let’s do this.

Justin splashes water on his face and begins to dry it off with a $100 dollar bill, excess money from the successful bank heist executed just days before. Santoro leads Justin from the dressing room and down the hall toward the arena.


Possible attackers of Mario Maurako?


Trumped by a Starr

Back from commercial and the HOV comes to life and a video begins to play and it opens up in downtown Chicago in a stretch limo.

Jatt Starr is quickly taking off the referee shirt he wearing earlier before Max Kael and Mike Best escorted him out of the building. Jatt Starr is quickly putting on one of his custom made baseball jerseys. This one is yellow with black lettering and silver trim that reads “Jatt Starr” on the front and “The Sparrow Flies Again” on the back. The backdoor of the limo opens as Jatt Starr buttons up the jersey and entering the limo is the Deputy Mayor of Chicago.

Deputy Mayor: Jatt Starr! Or shall I call you Simon Sparrow?

Jatt Starr: Jatt Starr is fine for now.

Deputy Mayor: I’m sorry to keep you waiting. The mayor would have come himself except he’s in position for the parade.

Jatt Starr: That’s fine.

Deputy Mayor: We were actually quite shocked with your generosity.

Jatt Starr: Shocked?

Deputy Mayor: Well, you have this reputation of thinking only about yourself.

Jatt Starr: Really? Was I thinking about myself when I destroyed Paco, the Zombie Chicken? Am I thinking of myself by building the now renamed “Sparrow Citadel” for the impending Zombie Attacks?

Deputy Mayor: I would probably keep the zombie talk to a minimum.

Jatt Starr: Sorry. I know in this political climate and in the spirit of the holiday season you would like to promote feel good stories. The knowledge of a zombie virus hitting and wiping out ninety percent of the population probably would put a damper on the parade.

Deputy Mayor: Yeah…that‘s exactly what we were thinking.

Jatt Starr: That’s fine.

Deputy Mayor: I’ll be honest, I thought that was a misprint. But wow, a cashier’s check for—

Jatt Starr: It’s not a problem.

Deputy Mayor: Well, after the Mayor saw that check, he nearly wet himself. That’s more than four times his salary!!!

Jatt Starr: It was nothing at all. I’m just doing my part.

Deputy Mayor: You have no idea how grateful we are. So here’s how this is going to work. In a few moments, Mayor Daley will give a short speech then announce the kind act you have done for the city and to top it off, he will give you the key to the city—

Jatt Starr: You got one that fast?

Deputy Mayor: It’s just a ceremonial copy. We’ll have it engraved and it will be ready for you by the weekend.

Jatt Starr: How much does it weigh?

Deputy Mayor: Well, it’s—

Jatt Starr: I only ask because I was wondering what kind of damage that would inflict on a zombie or perhaps on Trent. You see, I have this Hardcore Submission match at ICONIC where—

Deputy Mayor: It’s a key.

Jatt Starr: So it’s a small key. Not like the size of a baseball bat or lead pipe.

Deputy Mayor: Right.

Jatt Starr: Gotcha.

Deputy Mayor: Anyway, after he presents you with the Key to the City of Chicago he will officially announce that today is not just Thanksgiving Day….but it is also Jatt Starr day!!! Or would you prefer it to be Simon Sparrow Day?

Jatt Starr: “Jatt Starr a.k.a. Simon Sparrow Day”!

Deputy Mayor: Fair enough.

Jatt Starr: Wow. A national holiday named after me. I now know how Columbus and Martin Luther King Jr. felt when they found out.

Deputy Mayor: They were dead, first of all. And second of all, it’s just an honorary title. It’s not really being declared a national—

Jatt Starr: Will there be a parade next year?

Deputy Mayor: Of course. It’s Thanksgiv—

Jatt Starr: I will be here next year to host the “Jatt Starr a.k.a. Simon Sparrow Day” Parade as well.

Deputy Mayor: No, I don’t think you under–Look, we’re running out of time. He’s about to start his speech. It’s probably better that you don’t say anything….at all….not a word. Let’s go.

The Deputy Mayor opens the door to the limo and exits followed by Jatt Starr. The sound of Mayor Daley beginning his speech as Jatt Starr is being hurried through the crowd towards the steps to city hall where thousands have gathered on this Thanksgiving. The Deputy Mayor practically drags Jatt Starr up the steps.

Mayor Daley: ….and there is one more thing the city of Chicago should be thankful for….the generous contributions of one man who, less than an hour ago, made a tremendous contribution to the city which will go towards more homeless shelters, hospitals, and educational programs. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, from High Octane Wrestling….JATT STARR!!!

Jatt Starr walks over to the Mayor as the crowd becomes deafening in their applause. A good thirty seconds pass….

Mayor Daley: Ladies and gentlemen….please….

The crowd slowly becomes silent as the Deputy Mayor passes Mayor Daley a note.

Mayor Daley: Mr. Starr. It is my honor to award you with the Key to the City of Chicago and to officially announce today as JATT STARR A.K.A. SIMON SPARROW DAY!!!

Mayor Daley hands Jatt Starr a wooden box with a clear lid showing the Key to the City. Jatt Starr accepts, shakes the Mayor’s hand, and leans into the microphone.

Jatt Starr: It is my honor to accept this gift. And rest assured to all of my fans out there that the hospitals of Chicago will benefit from my small token of appreciation whereas I will give one unlucky hospital in New York City the gift of a broken and beaten Trent after I pummel him into submission, literally, at ICONIC!!!

The Mayor tries to regain control of the microphone but Jatt Starr is determined to get what he has to say out as the crowd cheers for Jatt Starr.

Jatt Starr: Mayor Daley…it truly is a pleasure and an honor to have this day named after me. You have been more than gracious. It is truly a privilege…even more so upon hearing that under no circumcisions that you—

The crowd begins laughing as the Deputy Mayor, the Mayor, and several other people begin whispering to Jatt Starr.

Jatt Starr: Are you guys sure about that?

They all nod and shout in agreement.

Jatt Starr: Forgive me….Let me continue….It is even more a privilege after I heard that under no circumstances that the city of Chicago will ever name a day after or give a Key to the City to Max Kael!

The Mayor gives the Deputy Mayor a look, who in turn, just shrugs.

Jatt Starr: And I have one more thing to say before we can get this Parade afloat….

Jatt Starr laughs to himself.

Jatt Starr: GET IT??? AFLOAT???

There is some reaction from the crowd…groans and a few boos.

Jatt Starr: No sense of humor. Anyway….one last thing….MIKE BEST IS CORRUPT!!! HE SET UP LEE!!! FREE LEE BEST!!! FREE LEE BEST!!! FREE—

The Deputy Mayor immediately steps in and pulls Jatt Starr into City Hall followed by a couple of security guards and police officers as the Mayor looks on. Once Jatt Starr is safely in the building, he heads back to the microphone.

Mayor Daley: Okaaaaaaaay….Say what you will about him, his philanthropy knows no limits. ENJOY THE PARADE!!!

The crowd erupts in cheers as the video ends and the action cuts back to the announce team as the arena is buzzing the footage.


Justin Decent vs. Chris CK
Singles Match

With the action sent back to the announce team, Joe and Benny go over the video package from Justin Decent where Benny proceeds to call him Justin LineatthenearestDennys while Joe quickly moves on to noting that it is now not only Thanksgiving but Jatt Starr aka Simon Sparrow day here in Chicago.

Benny notes that Jatt might be finally coming to his senses as Justin Decent makes his way out from the back and heads down to the ring as Joe hypes him up after his two dominant performances the last few weeks.

Benny calls Decent Fattie repeatedly as Chris Ck makes his way down to the ring and the crowd gives the man some respect by cheering for the man that will be reffing the Jatt Starr and Trent match at ICONIC…men that he holds victories over here in HOW since his return.

Joe then stops Benny’s ramblings as he notices that there is no ref for the match.

Suddenly Max Kael appears at the top of the ramp and to no music. He is looking very Minister like and the crowd boos him loudly as he makes his way down to the ring in his referee shirt.

The HOV shows a replay of the Trent versus Jay Davis match where Max laid out both men with his ICON Championship and for probably the millionth time….kicking Trent in the balls.

Finally in the ring, Max quickly calls for the bell and Chris CK and Justin Decent lock up and the match is underway as Max looks completely disgusted after seeing the Jatt Starr segment with Richard Daley..Mayor of Chicago.

The action is pretty face paced as Decent gains the early advantage and works over the arms of Chris CK, obviously trying to neutralize Ck’s big single armed DDT finisher….Killed Cold.

Several armbars later Chris CK finally gains the advantage after catching Decent going for a flying clothesline with a huge spinebuster that gets a quick count from Kael who obviously wants this match over with as fast as possible.

CK gives Kael a smirk as Joe reminds people that CK earned the right to face any of the champions after ICONIC and with Kael being the ICON Champion these two could possibly meet once again down the road.

Benny complains that we already seen Kael beat CK and he continues to drink as CK nails Decent with a big Belly to Belly suplex that gets another fast two count from Kael.

Chris CK continues to go for big moves and continues to get two counts from Kael, who is getting frustrated with CK for not finishing off Decent by now.

CK goes for a suplex but Decent counters and rolls him up into a small package and Kael quickly drops and makes the count and he reaches three before CK can kick out.


Post match Decent quickly rolls out of the ring as CK jumps to his feet and swings at Kael but Max ducks under and nails CK with a right hand that drops the man to the canvas…..Max then jumps on CK and begins pounding on the man with several punches before HOW security rush the ring and tackle Kael off of CK.

Joe puts over the fact that Kael is furious with Jatt Starr once again trumping him and its no longer Kael out there but in fact The Minister.

Joe takes Turmoil to a ICONIC Advertisement as Kael is led to the back.



Graystone vs. Shane Reynolds vs. Max Kael©

Tim Shipley vs. David Black©

HOFC Tournament Winner vs. Michael DeNucci©

Brothers of the Beast vs. The Egg Bandits vs. The Maurako Family vs. Twisted Reality©

Trent vs. Jatt Starr

Erites Kallisten vs. Kirsta Lewis

Weapon of Mass Destruction

Back live and the show cuts to a backstage workshop at the Best Arena, no doubt this is where the parts for stage and sets are constructed. A large work desk was positioned in the middle of the room with a number of varrying sized clamps around it’s edges while the walls were lined with heavy machinery from lathes to band saws to those weird devices used to bend metal at perfect ninety degree angles. The far side of the room is sectioned off from wall to wall by a large steel grid with all sorts of power tools hanging from it on hooks. A thick black curtain hangs on the other side, obscuring half the area from view.

However, astute viewers will see a shadow flashing against the far wall and the crackling of an arc welder. The shadow shows a midgit welding something, then hammering at something, then drilling, then back to welding, followed by more hammering and, finally, dunking the object into a bucket of water. As the midget walks away from the forging area the shadow grew taller, eventually revealing a seven foot tall midget named Trent, cackling like a mad man with a large red spot on his forehead from the shot he took from Max and the ICON Title during his match.

Trent: MWAHAHAHAHA! Jatt thought he got one over me and so did that fucking lunatic Max Kael who for some reason is in love with my fucking balls!

He pauses momentarilly and rubs his swollen gentalia before continuing..

Trent: Max will get his….but Jatt Starr.. He burnt down my locker room, destroyed my priceless, one of a kind, ’67 Gibson Flyin’ Fuckin’ V and killed Paco… For a second time..thats a little worse than a damn kick to the jewels! Starr thought I was beat already, that I no longer have an ace up my sleeve. I misjudged him, I thought his paranoia about Zombies would leave him helpless but how wrong I was. I didn’t expect him to be so fuckin’ prepared fer the Zombie uprising I nearly kicked off. The dude was like fuckin’ Chris Redfield, Leon Kennedy and Jull Vallentine all rolled into one! Can you believe that? When everyone else is dead and risin’ from their graves, Jatt’ll be standin’ atop a mountain of corpses, a heavy machine gun plowing down Zombies on the one side, flame thrower meltin’ Zombies on the other!

Trent shakes his head.

Trent: Nah, I made a mistake with the whole Zombie business. I’ve also realised that as evil as Jatt Starr is right now, the possibilities of havin’ a Zombie Jatt runnin’ around just ain’t worth it. So no more fuckin’ Zombies. From now on I ain’t gonna waste my time with any of that mumbo jumbo, it’s all gonna be scientific, all gonna be technical ‘cos while Jatt Starr is the ultimate Zombie slayer he ain’t no John Connor!

He grins and disappears behind the curtain again. Moments later he returns with the thing he had been working on, covered with a black cloth.

Trent: Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, the Phase 4 Cyborganic Obliterator!

He yanks the cloth away to reveal a lead pipe with a metal beak welded to it and two red LED’s in circular casings above it. Welded either side of the pipe are what could only be described as metal wings contructed by a blind man suffering from arthritus of the left hand and amputation of the right. Suffice to say the “wings” look like a health & safety black hole with all kinds of pointy and serrated pieces protruding from it. Between the two wings are the pickups from Trent’s destroyed guitar with the strings wrapped around around and some ciruit boards mindlessly superglued aroud them. From the middle of the pipe hangs a set of handcuffs with their chain firmly welded to it.

Trent: Zombies are deadly, but they’re mindless shamblin’ corpses! The humans always beat them back in the end! It’s like an outbreak of Aliens, once it’s contained everyone gets on with their lives like nothin’s fuckin’ happened but Robots? They’re unstoppable! They keep coming back stronger and stronger no matter how much ya destroy them! But best of all, fer all Jatt’s trainin’ and conditionin’ fer the Zombie uprisin’, fer all the equipment he’s horded it’s all fuckin’ worthless against the might of the P4-C.O.! Burn him, chop his head off, stand on a tall collumn, what ever you do it won’t be stop him coming fer ya, Jatt!

He thrust the Phase 4 Cyborganic Obliterator forward and flicked a switch. The eyes lit up, wings started flapping up and down wildly and an electronic clucking sound came from one of the circuit boards.

Trent: And don’t go thinkin’ about settin’ off no fuckin’ EMP or nuke or some shit like that. I’ve watched The Matrix, I know EMPs are the one weapon humanity has against the machines! Don’t think I’m stupid! From the using my the super powered magnetic coils from my precious guitar’s super charged EMG pickups, I have fashioned and anti-magnetic field around the P4-C.O. rendering any sort of electro OR magnetic attack fuckin’ useless! Ya see, I’ve thought of everythin’ this time, Jatt.

Trent taps his head meaning to gesture his intelligence but looks bloody stupid doing do.

Trent: But I’m not settin’ him after ya just yet… Nah, I’m gonna wait fer ICONIC, I’m gonna wait fer our Hardcore Submission match before unleashing the most vicious piece of technology ever concieved on ya. Let me explain, the P4-C.O. is programmed to restrain it’s victims arms behind their back with it’s tallons while savaging the victim with it’s wings. Within moments of getting hold of his victim they will be a bloody mess, screaming fer it ta end! Ya see, Jatt, ya signed yer own fate when ya killed Zombie Paco, now the P4-C.O. will take revenge on ya fer killin’ it’s predecessor!

Trent pauses, suddenly remembering something important.

Trent: Oh yeah! I’m the one meant to be gettin’ revenge fer Jatt killin’ me at Alcatraz and stoppin’ me winnin’ the World Championship… I completely fuckin’ fergot about that.

He shrugs.

Trent: Ok, so both me and the P4-C.O. will get revenge on Jatt fer all the fuckin’ bad things Jatt has done to us! Yeah, that’s it! And Chris CK! Nearly fuckin’ fergot about him too. He’s puttin’ a shot at takin’ his open title shot on the line in my match with Jatt? What a fuckin’ chump! Fer all my fuckin’ goadin’ I never thought he was fuckin’ dumb enough to fall fer it! I mean, christ, I fuckin’ wouldn’t do that just ‘cos some mouthy wanker is makin’ threats and demands. As if that weren’t stupid, how about fuckin’ interjectin’ himself as ref in a Hardcore Submission match?

Trent stares at the camera and a draft whistles through the room.

Trent: Hardcore fuckin’ Submission match. Anythin’ goes, no disqualification, match only ends when Jatt Starr taps or has fuckin’ passed out from the pain. What the fuck’re ya gonna do in this match? There’s no line to fuckin’ call down, Edwards, I could set the P4-C.O. on you and ya wouldn’t be able to fuckin’ disqualify me! Rest assured, after Jatt’s out the way, I’ll gladly take that contract from ya. Ya beat me in a meaninless match, but try fightin’ me in a match that’s actually worth a fuckin’ damn, it’s like night and fuckin’ day. You’ll have the best seat in the fuckin’ house at ICONIC, CK, you’ll get to see first hand just what’s in store fer ya in the fuckin’ new year as I take maticulous measures to make sure Jatt’s last match under his fuckin’ fraudulent name is just simply his last motherfuckin’ match. After I’m through with him, he can go back to being called Simon Sparrow and being what Simon Sparrow was when he abandoned the fuckin’ name. Just yer average jerk off out on the fuckin’ street, a no hoper no body with no fuckin’ future.

With that he turns walks back behind the curtain. A second later he appears again, scratching his head.

Trent: How the fuck do I get outta here….and someone get my a fucking bag of ice for the little guys huh?

And with that the show cuts to commercial.


Special HOR next Thursday as we head towards ICONIC


Karma is a Bitch

We return to an unknown part of The Best Arena where we Mid-card Mario Maurako tied up to a chair with a black bag over his head and his protective mask is no longer in place and you can see his face looks like it has been put thru a meatgrinder. You can hear him yelling for someone to let him go, but instead we see Missy Andrews walk up to the chair and pull the bag off his head.

Mario: What the hell is going on here?

Missy: Sorry, you don’t get to ask any questions, only we do. You really like beating up woman, don’t you?

Mario: Well ye…

Missy cuts him off with a hard smack right across his face, as we see a board above Mario light up with the number one.

Missy: Tonight every woman in the world gets their revenge….their payback for your Whack-O-Meter and every degrading comments you have ever made.

Joe Hoffman: This doesn’t look good for Mario….

Walking away from Mario we see a line of woman emerge as which include Mayhem announcer Chastity Gold, MVW Roster members like Carrieanne McDermott, Weathergirl Hallie. Christa Carmondy, Corrina Romanov who all walk up to Mario and each deliver a smack across the leader of The Maurako Family’s face which starts getting redder and redder. Also the board above him continues counter up after each smack across his face.

Mario: Ouch!

Next up is a woman who is breast feeding her baby girl who smacks Mario which is quickly followed by the baby girl also smacking Mario, while not evening taking her mouth off her mother’s breast.

Joe Hoffman: Did that baby just smack him too?

Benny Newell: That’s the closet your ever gonna get to a breast Joe.

The line continues as we suddenly see Barbi Kostoff walk up to Mario, which gets a huge pop from the fans inside The Best Arena as Barbi winds up and smacks the shit out of Mario before walking away. The line continues as we see former ring announcer Amy Smeets take a swing at Mario followed by HOW highest ranked female Krista Lewis and the fiancé of Scottywood, Kelly Fisher. A few more females from the MVW roster make their way through the line as we then see a woman dress as what seems to be Pocahontas walk up and smack Mario across the face and then stuff a hand full of mashed potatoes in his face.

Amy Smeets: Now making her way through the line…from Chicago, Illinois….the one, the only….Oprah!!!

The females in The Best Arena erupt in cheers as none other then Oprah makes her way up to Mario and takes her swing at him, as she starts licking the mash potato off her hand as her eyes suddenly light up and she leans in to Mario and starts licking the mashed potatoes off Mario’s face like she hasn’t eaten in ages. She gets most of them off his face as she licks her lips and starts to walk away.

Oprah: Mmmm…..just needs butter…..spooky

Benny Newell: I think I am going to be sick….Oprah just tongued the shit outta Mario.

Joe Hoffman: Think I can get her autograph?

Benny Newell: Only if you hand in your man card beforehand.

Following Oprah is another woman who is familiar with Chicago, Peg Bundy, who walks up in her high heels and slaps Mario across the face.

Peg Bundy: How do you like that Al?

Following Peg are the three Budweiser Girls from the HOW commercials who all walk up to Mario, each getting a smack in with the final one pouring a bottle of Budweiser over the head of Mario.

Joe Hoffman: Guess that Bud is for you Mario.

After the Budweiser Girls walk away we hear a familiar voice as we see Bobbinette “Queen B” Carey make her way up to Mario.

Bobbinette: Oh Mario…

Bobbinette has a towel in hand and starts wiping the beer, mashed potatoes and Oprah’s saliva from the face of Mario.

Mario: Bobbinette! Help get me out of here!

Bobbinette: Oh I’ll help you alright…..

Bobbinette winds up big and punches Mario right between the eyes sending his chair flying backwards and knocking Mario straight out. Bobbinette smiles as she lifts the chair back up and motions to the rest of the girls to continue as the camera zooms out and we see a whole line of woman who continue smacking the shit out of Mario as the counter continues counting up and up.

Joe Hoffman: Seems like karma has just caught up with Mario Maurako. Did you seem that punch by Bobbinette Carey?

Benny Newell: Where is security? Someone needs to stop this!

Joe Hoffman: Anyhow, speaking of Bobbinette, she’ll be taking on Joseph Gregory in the finals of the HOFC tournament…right after this commercial break.

Woman are continuing to smack around a very dazed Mario Maurako as the counter is now up in the 50’s as we head to another quick commercial break.


This Monday find out if Triple P will force a 7th and deciding match to take place at ICONIC or will Aceldama win the World Championship Series and cement his place in HOW History?


Bobbinette “Queen B” Carey vs. Joseph Gregory

Back live and we are once again in the basement of The Best Arena where Bobbinette Carey, still smiling after her big punch to Mario landed on his big Italian nose, is set to take on Joseph Gregory in the finals of the HOFC Tournament.

Referee Rick “Even” Stevens is finishing up his instructions to both of the fighters and then he motions for them to step back a few spots and then asks them for the final time if they are ready and they both nod that they are and Stevens signals for the fight to begin.

Carey and Gregory slowly circle each other as Joe reminds the viewers that Carey overcame big odds last week in defeating Kostoff in a epic three round encounter and she still has to be feeling the effects of that bout.

But she answers that question from Joe as Gregory goes for a takedown and is met with a swift kick to his temple. The force of the blow sends Gregory crashing to the canvas as Carey spins from her momentum and then goes to jump on Gregory to finish him but Stevens grabs her and signals that the fight is over.


After the bout Carey has her arm raised by Stevens and it is now official…Bobbinette Carey will take on Michael DeNucci at ICONIC for the High Octane Fighting Championship!!

The action cuts away and to another willing participant in the Mario slap fest…Missy Andrews.


Biohazard of an Interview

We return backstage with an opening shot of Max Kael’s locker room door. A large, impossibly fancy name plate reads “Max Kael: PRIME MINISTER OF MAXOPOTAMIA, JUSTICE OF THE PEACE, ICON CHAMPION, HALL OF FAMER, ETC, ETC”. Missy Andrews appears with mic in hand as she politely knocks on the door.

The door swings open as Max Kael appears in his wrestling gear, ICON title slung over his shoulder.

Missy Andrews: Hi Max, after your earlier outburst I was wondering if I could grab a moment of your time..

Max pauses and looks at both Missy and the Camera for a moment before biting his lower lip. His eyes narrow before he lets a serenely creepy smile slip over his lips.

Max Kael: ..sure.

Missy Andrews: First of all, Happy Jatt Starr aka Simon Sparrow Day!

Flushing bright red Max clenches his jaw and rolls his eyes slowly toward Missy who lets out of soft giggle before winking.

Missy Andrews: Sorry, I had too!

Max Kael: No you didn’t! You didn’t have to remind me of what that.. that.. Charlatan, Jatt Sparrow or.. Simon Starr or whatever the hell he is calling himself these days has done! You just wanted to come up here and show me disrespect didn’t you? CK didn’t respect me and look what happened to him. Dawn McGill didn’t respect me and look what happened to her. Broken, Missy, broken, beaten and embarrassed, JUST like everyone ELSE who gets in my way and doesn’t show me my DUE respect and I KNOW You do not respect me, Missy.

Andrews looks somewhat shocked as Max takes a violent tone with her, his white teeth flashing between his taunt lips as he glares down at her. Holding her hands up she shakes her head.

Missy Andrews: Uh.. no.. No! Of course I do, Max! I.. just thought you would think it was.. funny, you know?

Max Kael: Funny!? Do I look like the type of man who laughs a lot? I am the ICON Champion, a HOW Hall of Famer and currently undefeated since claiming my ICON Championship from Graystone several weeks ago. I am the Father of Shane Reynolds bastard son and I reunited the tragic father, daughter pair of Graystone. ~I~ am a Hero, not Jatt Starr. ~I~ should have a parade in my name, Not Jatt Starr. ~I~ should have the key to the city of Chicago, despite what a shit hole it is, not Jatt Starr!

Max backs Missy into the wall as he points to himself and snarls at her. In the distance the crowd can be heard booing loudly at Max’s pointed and far reaching false statements.

Max Kael: At ICONIC I’m going to bury that sniveling psychopath Shane Reynolds six feet deep and end his pathetic little revenge ploy once and for all. At ICONIC I am going to bury Graystone and hopefully whatever remains of that bitch of a little sperm spit called Michelle Creedy-Reynolds with him. At ICONIC I will continue to show why ~I~ AM THE ICON OF HOW and the One. Single. Champion in HOW. And guess what Missy, ~I~ won’t have to have 7 matches against the same person to prove it unlike some other champions I know.

Missy can only nod her head and try to avoid the spittle that flies out of Max’s mouth as he talks down to her between his gritted white teeth. He turns his head and eyes the ICON Championship over his shoulder before he slowly looks back down at Missy Andrews.

Max Kael:..Anyway, you had some questions you wanted to ask me?

Missy Andrews: Uh.. uh… I..

Max Kael: Well then I think we are done. Oh, I do have a gift for Jatt. Maybe you can give it to him for me?

The petite Missy Andrews slowly nods with a somewhat terrified expression on his face. Max steps back into his locker room and reappears for a moment with what looks to be a large glass tube with round metal locks on either side.

Max Kael: Give this too him and wish his family a Merry Thanksgiving..

As he hands it out to her he drops it as it shatters on the ground. Max looks wide eyed at it and immediately holds his breath.

Missy Andrews: What was that?!

Max shrugs and pitches his nose closed before waving at Missy and running away down the hall. Missy looks confused and unsure as to what is going on as she attempts to emulate Max’s behavior unsure what was in the tube that caused Max to stop breathing and run away. She quickly begins to run off in the opposite direction as we focus on the broken glass which as a strange little biohazard symbol on it.


An offer you CANNOT refuse

We now cut to Mike Best’s office…or at least, what’s supposed to be Mike Best’s office. At the moment, however, it appears to have been taken over by HOW’s resident guido douchebag/HOFC champion, Michael DeNucci. The champ is rocking a black silk shirt, open as always, along with his favorite A&F jeans and his HOFC title belt. As always, he’s on his iPhone 3GS.

Michael DeNucci: Yeah man, Carey fucked Spooky Butter up. Doesn’t matter though, bitch still doesn’t stand a chance against me…come on, man, she’s giving up like a hundred pounds! I’m like 230 and she’s like 130 soaking wet with her favorite dildo in her pocket…this one’s gonna be easier than beating Kostoff last go-round…

DeNucci is interrupted by the sound of someone entering the room.

Michael DeNucci: Alright, Rob, Mike’s here, I gotta jet. Happy Thanksgiving, bro. Deuces.

DeNucci taps a button on his iPhone 3GS and spins around in the chair, which we now know is Mike’s chair. DeNucci smiles up at the current WHATTHEFUCKISMIKEANYWAY of HOW.

Mike Best: What is the meaning of this?

Michael DeNucci: Mike Best, just the man I was looking for. What up?

DeNucci offers up a brofist for Best, but Mike is seemingly not in the mood to pound it.

Mike Best: May I ask what you’re doing in my chair, in MY office?

Michael DeNucci: Mikey, Mikey, Mikey…ease up a bit, will ya? I just stopped in to apply for that GM opening you’ve got over on Mayhem! I mean, after all, it IS my show.

Mike Best: That’s right…HOW Aftershock, was it? You lasted about a day, right?

Michael DeNucci: I would’ve made that the number-one show in the company, except for that little bitch Ryan Faze jumping me, and then Lee deciding to give him the show. I guess he wanted a fresh-faced, subservient boy to serve under him…but then, you would know all about that wouldn’t you Mike?

Best (furious): What?

DeNucci (faux innocent): Oh, nothing, nothing.

Mike Best: Do you have a point?

Michael DeNucci: Yeah, Mike, I do. Right now, Mayhem is a fucking shambles. The FCC is ready to shut HOTv down, the FBI is knocking on Graystone’s door, and you’ve had the same fucking main event on the show a thousand weeks in a row. You need someone to freshen the joint up, and that someone is me. I’m the only one who can take that show and turn it into something worth watching, something that connects with the male 18-34 demo HOW needs in order to turn a profit. I can have Mayhem beating Turmoil, PPVs…hell, I can have that fucker beating Monday Night Raw.

Mike Best: Michael, your experience as a showrunner consists of, according to local legend from across the pond, a dance-themed wrestling show hosted by Ryan Seacrest, of all people.

Michael DeNucci: In my defense, I was taking some pretty powerful pills at the time, in combinations that probably weren’t such a good idea.

Mike Best: Yeah Michael, that’s a really good defense. Also, your tenure includes SSE, a federation that was shut down by federal authorities for corruption and racketeering.

Michael DeNucci: That was DJ Gallagher’s fault. Plus Lee was there too, and you know how it is with him. You put those two guys in a fed, you know it’s gonna get shut down.

Mike Best: Right, and you and your live gunfights and explosions had nothing to do with it.

Michael DeNucci: After last week, you’re not one to talk about explosions. Did you have fun almost killing Shipley’s manager?

The vein in Mike Best’s forehead throbs, and he looks like he wants nothing more than to drag DeNucci down into the basement and be the Little Nog to his Luiz Cane. DeNucci isn’t intimidated, however.

Michael DeNucci: Look, let’s cut the bullshit, okay, Mike? You need me, and not just for Mayhem.

Mike Best: Excuse me?

Michael DeNucci: Mike, you know that I have some pretty powerful information on Lee Best. I have information that, were it to get into the right hands, could keep that man locked up for the rest of his life, and put you in a position of absolute power within High Octane Wrestling. These charges you’ve got him on? They’re small fries compared to what I’ve got. If you go into business with me, I can have him put out of our way forever.

Mike Best: And if I refuse?

Michael DeNucci: Well, that’s just it. I have the information, but I also have the connections. I can make a few calls, grease a few palms, and make those charges go away, making Lee Best a free man once again. And you know, I have to imagine that Lee would be very, very grateful for that. A generous salary…control of my own show…hell, maybe even a shot to unify the HOFC and HOW titles could all be within my grasp. But it’s not very good for you if Lee goes free, now is it Mikey? In fact, it’s pretty much your one-way ticket back to obscurity, forever in your brother’s shadow.

Mike Best: What do you want?

Michael DeNucci: First, I want to be the GM of Mayhem. I want to run the show my way, as I see fit, with no interference from you. And that’s not all I want, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Mike Best: I’ve had enough! I won’t sit here and be blackmailed by you!

Michael DeNucci: Oh, I think you will, Mike. If you have any intelligence in that head of yours, you’ll play ball.

Mike has finally had enough of DeNucci’s bullshit.

Mike Best: GET OUT!

Michael DeNucci: Alright, I’m out…for now. But Mike, seriously think about my offer. Work with me, and I’ll make all your problems go away.

DeNucci leans over the desk.

Michael DeNucci: But fuck me over on this one…and I’ll make YOU go away.

DeNucci struts confidently out the door as a frustrated Mike Best picks up a stress ball and squeezes it tightly, before throwing it at the wall as hard as he can.



Graystone vs. Shane Reynolds vs. Max Kael©

Tim Shipley vs. David Black©

Bobbinette Carey vs. Michael DeNucci©

Brothers of the Beast vs. The Egg Bandits vs. The Maurako Family vs. Twisted Reality©

Trent vs. Jatt Starr

Erites Kallisten vs. Kirsta Lewis

A whole new audience?

Back live..

Mike Best: Is it really so hard to find a qualified person for this job?

Embossser just shrugs as Mike shakes his head and wonders why he even asked the big man.

Mike Best: When Michael DeNucci and his blackmailing looks like my best option, one has problems.

Suddenly Mike’s door busts open as the sounds of shrieking woman can be heard in the hallway. Worried that Mario Maurako has escaped custody of all those angry woman and is beating up anything with a vagina he sees, Mike stands up from his chair and tries to look out the door. But the noise isn’t from Mario as we see Oprah make her way into Mike’s office, closing the door behind her.

Mike Best: Please tell me your not here to apply for the Mayhem GM job…

Oprah: That is in fact exactly why I am here. You see my television show will soon be coming to an end, and I want to branch out into something I have never done before…Professional wrestling.

Mike Best: You want to run a professional wrestling show?

Oprah: I can bring a whole different viewing demographic to your show. Women ages 18 to 49 will watch this Mayhem in the millions and your show will skyrocket to heights that you could never even dream of.

Mike Best: I appreciate your guts for wanting to branch into something new…and the ideas of millions of new viewers…and I love your book club…But I don’t think you would fit well with our core fans, who I do not want to alienate. I mean they made HOW what it is today.

Oprah: I am willing to write you a very, very big check Mr. Best. How does something with 6 zeros in it?

Mike Best: No, I will not let someone buy their way into this job. Plus Max Kael already tried that earlier tonight when he bought his way in as special guest referee. I’m sorry Oprah, but I don’t think….

Oprah: You gonna eat that stapler?

Mike Best: Oprah, you can’t eat a…

Oprah: Wanna split it?

Mike Best can just shake his head as he gives a nod to Embosser who walks over to Oprah and smacks the shit out of her a few times before he picks her up on his shoulder. Oprah reaches out and snags the stapler as Embosser then carries her out of the office with Oprah intensely licking the stapler.

Mike Best: If she would just come out and say IT…I wouldn’t have a problem with her…oh well.

Opening the door the woman start screaming again as Embosser doesn’t know what to do as he just dumps Oprah as the woman swarm her as Embosser slams the door shut on them all. As the interview process continues and we cut away from the office.


Fazed Out

Joe Hoffman: Welcome back to Turmoil, ladies and gentlemen… and Benny, what a Go-Home show it’s been thus far, huh?

Benny Newell: Well I’m about ready to “go-home” myself, Joe. I’ve got turkey and stuffing leftovers and a cold case of Great Lakes Christmas Ale waiting for me in the fridge. Whaddya’ say we get this fucking Main Event started so I can get home, un-button my pants, and work off my hangover from this morning by drinking even more!

Joe Hoffman: Sounds like a plan to me! It’s a 6-man tag match featuring Champions vs. pay-per-view Challengers… let’s go to the ring!

The Best Arena fans rise to their feet with anticipation, ready to cheer or boo the superstars that are about to be introduced for the Go-Home Turmoil Main Event. Several anxious moments pass with a hush coming over the crowd until the sudden and unexpected eruption of “Phase” by Breaking Benjamin echoes throughout the speakers.

Benny Newell: Hold the fucking phone! What’s he doing here?

Joe Hoffman: That’s General Manager Ryan Faze! Just listen to this capacity crowd!

The combined mix of cheers and boos from the Chicago fans is deafening as the Faze supporters cheer for the “Faze of HOW” and the Turmoil loyalists become raucous with boos for the Mayhem GM.

Wearing his finest Armani suit and looking groomed to perfection, Ryan emerges from the curtain and makes his way down the entrance ramp. His stern expression indicates that he’s here for business, not pleasure on the last Turmoil show before ICONIC.

Benny Newell: I’m gonna need more Jack if I am gonna have to listen to him talk.

Upon reaching the ring, he quickly ascends the ring steps and enters between the middle and bottom ropes, looking out towards the crowd after he’s handed a microphone. He raises the microphone to his lips with hesitation; pausing as the crowd becomes louder and louder. After several silent moments from Ryan, it’s clear that the fans are becoming impatient with him; some fans irritated because of anticipation for the upcoming Main Event and others just eager to hear what Ryan has to say.

Joe Hoffman: A rare appearance by the Mayhem General Manager, must be pretty important for the Faze of HOW to come to Turmoil.

Finally, Ryan shakes his head and drops the mic to his side. A change of heart, perhaps? He teases an exit from the ring, but stops himself mid-way through the ropes and returns to his position in the center of the ring. His words are soft-spoken and pure…

General Manager Faze: Forgive me for intruding…

at least, initially.

General Manager Faze: …but since this is the supposed “A-show” of the 2, I figured I’d at least try to get some recognition by appearing on it before my contract expires on December 31st.

Ryan’s sarcasm is evident, as if his purpose truly was to garner attention. But even the fans know that’s not why he’s here.

General Manager Faze: I hear it week after week; Turmoil-drafted superstars coming to Mayhem with the sole purpose of degrading my show. People like Graystone and Maximillian Kael… parading around, making a mockery of my show… undermining my authority like they are immune to it. The lack of respect is simply inconceivable!

Becoming more and more animated, Faze paces back and forth in the middle of the ring and holds his right index finger up, as if he has yet another point to prove.

General Manager Faze: And then we have people like Scottywood, who stand high and mighty representing this “brand”, thinking they’re above all else. And why? Because he gets off on a sense of superiority? Because he finally won gold again in HOW after not winning a match in… what? 2 and a half months? Impressive… truly.

Benny Newell: I never saw Faze hold on to HOW gold for what? Longer then a week?

General Manager Faze: My point is that there’s a reason that Monday Night Mayhem has consistently been highest rated program on HOTv since Rumble at the Rock 2, and it sure as hell isn’t because of those ingrates! It’s because of the blood, sweat, and tears that guys like Aceldama and Perfect Paul Paras sacrifice week after week; putting their bodies on the line for you, the fans. It’s because of the blazing determination of Tim Shipley and the blistering aspirations of the Brothers of the Beast to become successful a company that I spend every waking hour of my day devoted to! HOW defines who I am… and it’s-

OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH, You Gotta Keep ‘em Separated

Joe Hoffman: Hey wait a minute! That’s Scottywood! The “Hardcore Artist” making his way out from backstage.

Stricken” by Disturbed fills the arena as The Hardcore Artist makes his way down the ramp with his Tag Team title on his shoulder to a chorus of boos from the Chicago faithful. He seems a little uncompleted though without his hockey stick in hand as Mike Best had it confiscated earlier in the night. The ring crew hands Scotty a microphone as he then ascends the steel stairs and enters the ring with Faze who has a look of anger on his face.

Scottywood: I would apologize for intruding….but that was the whole point of me coming out here…..You think I get off over a sense of superiority? Because if that is the case I would have a huge boner right now.

Joe Hoffman: We didn’t need to hear that….

Scottywood: No one makes a mockery of your show Faze, because it was already one to start with. You should have never been appointed General Manager of Mayhem, because you have no idea how to handle a roster, how to keep guys in check. Oh and this Tag Team title….damn right it’s impressive, certainly more then you have ever been able to accomplish here in HOW. Now you see I wasn’t planning on revealing this until after my match, but you have presented such a perfect opportunity for me to do so now.

Joe Hoffman: He going to unveil another no name tag team partner?

Scottywood: You see Faze, all through the show tonight Mike Best has been interviewing candidates to become the new General Manager of Monday Night Mayhem. And despite what he may say, he has found some less then stellar candidates, people that really have no business running a show, much like yourself.

You can see the anger in Faze’s face growing, as he tries to hold himself back from knocking Scottywood out right now.

Scottywood: Oh calm down Faze. You remember what happened last time we fought. Didn’t I put you through a table before pinning you? Ironically enough then you were trying to take my job as Commissioner….and now I am trying to take your job.

General Manager Faze: Your trying to take my job now? Ha! If you actually think that Mike Best will sign you as the new GM of Mayhem then you are more delusional then everyone says you are.

Scottywood: Mike Best? No, your quite right Faze, he would never ever sign me as GM….

Joe Hoffman: Makes it a little tough to take his job then.

Scottywood: Frankie! Bring out the briefcase.

Emerging from backstage we see Frankie the Cameraman walking down the ramp with a silver briefcase in hand which he slides into the ring with and walks over to Scottywood. He opens it up and pulls out a bunch of papers, which he hands over to Scotty.

Scottywood: You see Faze; I told Mike that I was going to royally fuck him over tonight. Which he ignorantly thought meant I was going to physically hurt him. But what he failed to realize is there are many others way I can hurt him then by using a hockey stick or even laying a hand on him. You see despite him currently running HOW, there is a certain someone who until he is proven guilty, still has power in HOW. And that man signed these papers this past weekend to make myself the new General Manager of HOW….that man is LEE….FUCKIN’…..BEST!

Joe Hoffman: What!?! Lee made Scottywood GM? Can he even do that?

Benny Newell: He is Lee Best, he can do whatever he wants, even from prison.

Faze is just in shock as Scotty stands in front of him with a huge smile on his face, the crowd is going absolutely crazy as they are extremely angry over the announcement of the new General Manager.

Scottywood: So as they say Faze….Out with the old, in with the new….

Kicking Faze in the stomach Scotty lifts him up onto his shoulders in a fireman’s carry and hits the Game Misconduct on him in the middle of the ring. The crowd goes irate as you can see the garbage flying at the ring at Scotty. With Faze lying on the mat Scotty starts to roll him to the edge of the ring and kicks him out of it.

Joe Hoffman: Come one! Did Scottywood really have to do that?

Benny Newell: He was just taking out the trash.

Scottywood: Sorry to faze you out….And as for you Mike….Hope you weren’t too attached to any of those GM applicants. I’ll make sure they each get a nice fruit basket when they get informed the job has been filled….Now I believe we still have a main event match that needs to take place.

Scottywood stands up and as he is about to exit the ring he see’s the announce table and a smile comes across his face and he walks back over to Faze and bends down and brings the mic back up to his lips..

Scottywood: I heard what Benny said in the earlier part of the show and quite frankly me and him have a lot in common and after December 14th we are going to have another thing in common…we are going to wrestle inside Madison Square Garden LIVE ON PAY PER VIEW!!

Scotty stands up and turns towards Benny who is looking puzzled like he has never been puzzled before.

Scottywood: That is right my first act as Mayhem General Manager is to book Big Buff Benny Newell versus Ryan Faze at ICONIC!!

The crowd cheers madly as Turmoil cuts to commercial as we see Scottywood and Benny shaking hands.



Graystone vs. Shane Reynolds vs. Max Kael©

Tim Shipley vs. David Black©

Bobbinette Carey vs. Michael DeNucci©

Brothers of the Beast vs. The Egg Bandits vs. The Maurako Family vs. Twisted Reality©

Trent vs. Jatt Starr

Erites Kallisten vs. Kirsta Lewis

Ryan Faze vs. Big Buff Benny Newell


Max Kael & Twisted Reality vs. Shane Reynolds & Brothers of the Beast
6 Man Tag Team Match

Back from the final commercial break and its finally time for the Main Event. The crowd is still buzzing over the bombshell announcements from the new Mayhem General Manager Scottywood.

Joe is in total shock over the fact that Benny will finally get his MSG moment and so is Benny as he is literally celebrating with his official HOW flask as Jacob Morgan and Jason Midnight, Brothers of the Beast, make their way out from the back with Tyson Ross alongside them. They stop at the top of the entrance ramp and Shane Reynolds then appears and together they make their way down to the ring.

As they do the HOV replays the last segment where Scottywood was named new General Manager of Mayhem after Lee Best gave him the power before Lee possibly loses his in his upcoming trial.

The replay ends and the new Twisted Reality, Scottywood and John Hitchin, make their way out and a still very pissed off Maximillian Kael make their way down to the ring where Matt Boettcher is set to call the match.

The crowd is on their feet and heckling the Tag Team Champions as Scottywood is yelling at people to call him GM Wood.

The match finally starts and its Shane Reynolds and John Hitchin that start off.

Shane quickly takes advantage and after a few minutes Hitchin is able to get to his corner where Max refuses to tag in. GM Wood instead tags in and his met quickly by a powerful clothesline from Shane and now it is Reynolds who leads Scotty to his corner where he tags in Midnight and over the next several minutes the Shane and BOTB team keep Scottywood in their corner with various high impact moves and quick in and out tags.

Scottywood is finally able to make it to his corner after nailing Jacob with a dropkick that sends him thru the ropes and to the outside.

Scottywood goes to tag the closer Max Kael, but Max jumps off the apron and smiles at Scotty. Undaunted Scotty goes to tag John but Max grabs John down from the apron and then proceeds to DDT him on the Arena floor, thus leaving Scotty on his own.

Max then walks up the entrance ramp leaving the match effectively as the crowd heckles him with boos.

Back in the ring Shane Reynolds has been tagged in and Scotty turns right into a Diablo’s Inferno that nearly breaks his neck and Reynolds makes the cover on the new GM of Mayhem…





Turmoil ends with a final image of Shane Reynolds standing over the new general manager and tag team champion and staring up at his ICONIC opponent and ICON Champion Maximillian Kael who is at the top of the entrance ramp.





The camera in the unknown room is still rolling as we see a beaten and battered Mario Maurako still tied to the chair.

The women are long gone but their handiwork isn’t as all we can see is the top of Mario’s head as it is literally hanging down with his chin on his chest.

Suddenly a light enters the room and we see several sets of feet enter the room and because of the light we are unable to see their faces.

They surround Mario and after a few moments we see several of them lift Mario up off the chair and it’s obvious that they have set Mario free.

Dammit we were too late….I told you guys we shouldn’t of got that last pitcher of beer…”

Still unable to see the faces we hear the feet shuffling as they begin to carry Mario towards the door.

The door shuts and then there is darkness……

The footage picks back up from a parking lot camera and we see several men in white t-shirts put Mario in the backseat of what appears to be a 1974 Dodge Dart.

As the men climb into the car the security camera zooms in on the license plate before the car drives off and out of the picture.

The license plate?


Show Details

The Best Arena

Chicago, Illinois

Show times

  • 9:00PM