Turmoil: March 11th, 2010 (2010)

Weekly Show | 120 Min

Show Transcript

Thursday Night Turmoil
March 11th, 2010 – #HOW110
Kallisten Coliseum, Chicago, IL



Quick flashes of the HOTv and Turmoil logos over dead silence and a black background radiate a solemn start to this week’s broadcast as footage of Lee Best, Cool Reality and Alpha Beta Slam at this past Monday’s PWX Adrenaline show is aired.

The replay shows Lee and his “troops” arriving at the arena with the purpose of reclaiming the HOW Tag Team titles from the men that stole them, Brian Hollywood and John Pariah. Leading the charge, the “God of HOW” tries to convincingly persuade a security guard to let them into the arena, until suddenly the footage turns from full color real-time to slow-motion black and white as the Hierarchy attacks all 5 from behind before they even enter.

Brian Hollywood’s Executive Promise finisher on Lee is replayed several times as it happens, likewise when Lee gets plastered in the face with his own Tag Team title belt, opening up a huge gash. Finally, the footage ends with Pariah and Hollywood standing over Lee with the Tag Team titles over their shoulders, having signed a March 2 Glory Tag Team title match contract in Lee’s own blood.

This prompts a chorus of boos from the fans inside the Kallisten Coliseum as we’re taken to a live shot inside the arena, where we see a huge March 2 Glory banner, hanging from the rafters where the duration of 11 days gives us all a reminder of just how long it will be until High Octane Wrestling invades the Roman Coliseum.

Joe Hoffman: Well folks, as evidenced by what you just saw, it’s obvious that the HOW fans are NOT in the best of moods after what went down this past Monday at PWX Adrenaline 24.

Benny Newell: No shit, you fucking genius. God damn it, Joe! No introduction?!? Fucking pour me a shot if you’re going to make me do everything else around here!

Joe Hoffman: Well, I was just about t-

Clearing his throat intentionally, Benny interrupts Joe before he can even finish his sentence.

Benny Newell: A-HEH-HEM! Hopefully, all of you fuck-sticks tuning in have realized by now that I am “the only Hall of Fame announcer that matters” Benny Newell, sitting alongside none other than “Sissy-boy” Joe Hoffman, who apparently is incapable of doing his job well enough to officially welcome you to Thursday Night Turmoil.

Ever the professional, Joe ignores Benny’s shot and maintains his composure in continuing to hype the show.

Joe Hoffman: Certainly, we thank you for joining us here on a night where you can literally feel the tension in the Kallisten Coliseum. That’s right, folks! We’re only eleven days away from the March 2 Glory pay-per-view and I can’t help but think that with all the heat built up thus far, things are going to explode inside the Roman Coliseum!

Benny Newell: Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Fucking idiot… anyways, as some feuds are set to culminate at March 2 Glory, others are just beginning to develop as we’ve got an action-packed lineup for you tonight featuring three huge matches with pay-per-view implications!

Joe Hoffman: That’s right, Benny! In addition to our two opening contests of the night, The Axis of Power get their first real shot at High Octane gold in a Tag Team title bout against the Maurako Family – the winners of which move on to March 2 Glory to defend against Cool Reality, the WMW team of Valora Salinas and AWS Man and…

Benny Newell: The ambiguously gay duo from PWX who think they mean shit when it comes to fucking with HOW!

Joe Hoffman: Obviously, my partner is referring to the PWX Hierarchy tag team of Brian Hollywood and John Pariah…

Benny Newell: The cock-sucking John Pariah!

Joe Hoffman: Well, umm, yes… in any case, we’re talking about a match with perhaps the most intense heat of them all on the pay-per-view, featuring two “outsider” teams that have left their mark on our company. But still, the question for tonight is will we crown new champions?

Benny Newell: C’mon Joe, I thought you were Captain Obvious? Let me just answer that easily for you and say that no matter who wins tonight, we won’t be crowning anybody as long as PWX has our titles.

Joe Hoffman: Good point, Buff. And in other action tonight, not one, but two Triple Threat matches will determine the Number One Contenders for the LSD and World titles, respectively; the first of which features Static, Justin Decent, and “The Violence” Vince Jones. Who ya got in that one, Benny?

Benny Newell: If you ask me, they’re all fucking douchebags… but if I had to pick one, I’d go with the newcomer ‘VJ’, simply because you can’t hold the black man down when it comes to three-way action.

Joe Hoffman: Interesting logic, but regardless, the winner will have the Hall of Fame LSD champion Kostoff waiting for them at the Roman Coliseum.

Benny Newell: Not just Kostoff, an angry Kostoff after the beat downs he’s taken from Der Austand in recent weeks. Let’s be honest, Joe… whoever wins the match tonight is fucked.

Joe Hoffman: Well, going from three young men with a lot to prove in HOW to 3 established veterans with even more on the line… yes folks, I’m talking about the Triple Threat Invitational Final between HOW Hall of Famer and Emperor of HOW, Maximillian Kael, the “Hardcore Artist” Scottywood, and- er- um-…

Benny Newell: What? You lose your notes or something, Joe? Because you seem to be forgetting about our very own Black-Irish SLAVE OWNER!

Joe Hoffman: Oh, come on! Who could forget about the man who has not only surprised many in this tournament, but proven he belongs in the finals in Ethan Cavanaugh? All nicknames aside, tonight we crown our 2010 Lee Best Invitational winner in who moves on to headline March 2 Glory with HOW World Champion, Mario Maurako!

Benny Newell: Who – despite not knowing his opponent – has a considerable home-field advantage heading into that match, being held on Italian soil and all.

Joe Hoffman: That’s a great point, Buff. Mario will enter one of the greatest structures of Roman architecture ever built as HOW World Champion, but many have questioned whether he’ll leave the Roman Coliseum with the title around his waist or not. With so many questions to answer and much, much more, it’s time to get kick things off here on Turmoil, starting with-

Benny Newell: The fuck, Joe? Starting with what?

Joe Hoffman: My apologies, folks. I’m being told we have a special arrival outside of the Kallisten Coliseum…

Suddenly, the cameras cut away from Joe & Benny at ringside to the Kallisten Coliseum parking lot, where a white, 22-passenger Cadillac Escalade ESV pulls up to the Maxipotamian toll booth.


Bearing an ‘ABS’ license plate, the vehicle stops as the attendant leans out from the toll booth window.

Maxipotamian Toll Booth Attendant: Due to the size of your vehicle, that’ll be 175 dollars.

Rolling down the tinted driver’s side window, a barely-clothed, female chauffer with the name tag “Cadence” pinned to her bright pink bikini top smiles at the attendant amidst blaring music and a thumping, vibrating bass.

Cadence: Very well. Can I pay that in singles?

As Turmoil prepares to cut away for its first commercial break, Benny can barely contain his excitement over what can only be assumed to be a stripper inside the ABS Party Bus.

Benny Newell: Shit! What the hell am I doing wasting my time here with you, Joe? An ABS Party Bus?!? DRIIIIIINNNNK!!!

Joe Hoffman: There you have it folks… having reconciled their differences, Alpha Beta Slam returns later on in the show! Don’t go away! We’re just getting started here on Thursday Night Turmoil!

Your kind…

The camera cuts to outside of the arena and shows Christopher America walking in. He winces in pain due to the numerous whip gashes on his back. Christopher America approaches the security guard.

Guard: Sorry. You can’t enter.

America: What the hell are you talking about? I work here!

Guard: Sorry. You need to use the door for your kind.

America: My kind?

Guard: Yeah…

The guard points to the left.

Guard: YOUR kind.

Christopher glances over and sees a large metal rolling door used to receive shipments and unpack large objects.

Christopher: How the hell am I suppose to get in there.

Guard: Figure it out yourself, whitey.

Pissed off, America trudges over to the metal door and begins to tug on the large chain that hangs outside. He slowly lifts the metal door and enters the arena as we cut to our first commercial break.


LBI Winner vs. Mario Maurako©

Christopher America vs. Mike Plow©

AWS Man and Valora vs. Cool Reality vs. The Hierarchy vs. HOW Tag Team Champions

Carmen Jennings vs. Kirsta Lewis

Marcus Reinhardt vs. Mark O’Neal


Bishop Steele vs. “Unstable” Elix Michaels
Singles Match

Back from commercial and we see two wrestlers inside the ring but there is no referee. Suddenly “Undead” hits the PA system and the crowd goes crazy as the owner of HOW, Lee Best, makes his way out wearing a referee shirt!!

Joe Hoffman: Well if this isn’t a surprise then I don’t know what is. After the beating that Lee took at the PWX taping and the vague appearance on WMW’s super card earlier today, you have to wonder WHY is Lee coming out in a ref’s shirt?

Before Benny can retort with a smartass comment, Lee pulls a mic out from his pocket and begins to speak as he makes his way down to the ramp..

Lee Best: Ladies and gentlemen this has been a very very trying week for yours truly and lets face it…I am used to being the CAUSE of the action…not IN the action…..so I am walking down this fucking ramp right now and I am going to roll into that fucking ring, signal for the fucking bell to be rung and I am going to stab one of these fuckers in the eye and THEN count a 1..2..3…

Lee then drops the mic on the ramp and jogs down to the ring and rolls in as the crowd is in a frenzy as inside the ring Unstable Elix Michaels and Bishop Steele look concerned for their own safety as Lee smirks at both men before walking to the far ropes and signaling for the bell to ring..


Joe Hoffman: Tell me when its over…

Joe covers his eyes as Benny doesn’t respond as he is standing on top of the announcers table looking into the ring as we see Lee get into the face of both Bishop Steele and Michaels..daring both to make a sound.

Lee then pats Steele on the back and then turns towards Michaels and smiles as he pulls out his infamous Bottom Line pen.

The camera zooms into the pen, showing dried blood from many a former HOW superstar.

Without warning Michaels swings at Lee but Lee ducks and kicks Michaels in the knee and the sound of the mans knee popping out of place is heard throughout the arena and Michaels drops down to his back, holding his knee and screaming in a horrific manner as he clutches at his knee.

Lee is smiling as he walks over and stands over Michaels and then motions for Steele to come over and prepare to make the cover.

Smiling, Steele makes his way over and watches as Lee brings his pen high up into the air…..

The crowd gasps in horror as some fans go completely apeshit in cheers as we see Steele fall to his knees clutching his eye as Lee just turned and Bottomlined the man.

Steele is now the one screaming in pain as he squirms on the mat as blood pours onto the canvas. Lee then places a knee on the chest of Steele and holds his head in place as he begins to scream over the man’s cries.


Lee reaches into his pocket and struggles a little as Steele is squirming in pain underneath him….but when the crowd sees what he just pulled out there are no cries for Steele, but many turn their head away as Lee unscrews the top of a small bottle and turns it upside down and we now see that it is a salt shaker and the salt is now running into the damaged eye of Steele whos screams are even louder now.

With a sadistic smile, Lee wipes the blood off his pen and puts it back in his pocket and walks over to Michaels who is in shock over what he just witnessed.

Seeing Lee approach him, Michaels tries to exit the ring but Lee grabs him by the leg and pulls him over to Steele and tells Michaels to cover him.

Michaels hesitates but then complies and Lee quickly drops down and makes a very proper count…




Lee points at Bryan McVay, the ring announcer, who immediately announces the winner.


The winner, rolls all the way out of the ring where HOW medics are standing by and they quickly rush him to the back as some stay behind waiting for a chance to get into the ring to help Steele.

Joe Hoffman: Thank god its…..oh my god!!!

Joe quickly covers his eyes again as he sees the blood in the ring as Lee is standing over Steele again and this time has the mic back out.

Lee Best: Let this be a lesson to all you motherfuckers in the back….I would rather see a curtain jerking NO SHOWING Douchebag win than someone who PLAGERIZES on my motherfucking website…

Lee drops the mic and then spits into the face of Steele as he exits the ring and storms up the ramp.

Joe Hoffman: What is going on..what did Steele do? Folks I have no idea what is going on but we will be right back…

Turmoil cuts to commercial as a stunned crowd watches the owner exit with his referees shirt covered in blood after yet another lesson handed out.


Ever wish you didnt post a rp from another federation onto the HOW site..well if you did and got stabbed in the eye..
take a few Vicodin and call the unemployment office in the morning


The S.C.A.T. Man

We return from commerical break in the office of the HOW General Manager. Simon Sparrow sits on the leather couch against the wall to the left of his desk with his associate, Louis the Little Person, sitting beside him. Sparrow is dressed in cargo pants, red and black sneakers, and a black baseball jersey with red lettering and silver trim that reads “SPARROW” on the front and “S.C.A.T.” on the back, in his left hand he is holding the serpent head cane Alexei had given him. Louis is wearing jeans, black casual shoes, and a red baseball jersey with black lettering with silver trim that reads “S.C.A.T.” on the front. Sitting in a chair beside them is Brian BARE, who is rubbing his nose.

Brian BARE: I am sitting here with HOW General Manager Simon Sparrow in an EXCLUSIVE interview! Before we get to the big announcement—-

Louis the Little Person: Big??? IT’S HUGE!!! It’ll be bigger than Kirsta Lewis’s gaping twat!!!

Simon Sparrow slaps Louis the Little Person across the head to keep him quiet.

Simon Sparrow: You’ll have to forgive Louis here. As evidenced last week, he’s just a little excited that Lee Best is back.

Louis the Little Person: Fucking A!!! Lee Best is the motherfucking man!!!

Simon Sparrow: Brian…please continue.

Brian BARE: Yes…well…let me begin by discussing what happened last week in what can only be considered an upset—

Simon Sparrow: Scottywood moving on in the Best Invitational, yes. I would like to first state that there are no excuses. The bottomline is Scottywood pinned me and he is in the main event. To my family, to my friends, and to my fans, I am sorry if I let any of you down. My destiny of attaining the HOW Championship has been placed on hold until after “March to Glory”. But on the plus side, I did go Undefeated Against the Darkwing Division, so I guess that’s something.

Brian BARE: That being said, who are you supporting in tonight’s main event? Max Kael, Scottywood, or Ethan Cavanaugh?

Simon Sparrow: That’s tough. Scottywood is a smarmy little weasel who uses authority to achieve his own dubious goals. Max Kael is an egomaniacal terrorist who has a twisted obsession with me which probably stems from low self-esteem and self-loathing for his man-love for the King of Grapple from the Big Apple. And finally, there’s Ethan Spazanaugh….I mean, Cavanaugh. He has this need to validate himself by carrying HOW gold. I have no confidence in Ethan whatsoever. If I had to pick a winner, I hope it’s Scottywood.

Brian BARE: Scottywood?

Louis the Little Person: WHAT THE FUCK!!! SCOTTYWOOD IS A IDIOT!!!

Simon Sparrow smacks Louis the Little Person on the back of the head.

Simon Sparrow: What did I tell you about using derogatory and prejudicial slurs? Last week you were obnoxious with—

Louis the Little Person: Fuck that! Lee Best is back!!! The motherfucker is like O.J.!!! Only…a GOD!!!!

Simon Sparrow: But you work for ME!!!

Louis the Little Person folds his arms across his chest and shuts his mouth.

Simon Sparrow: Sorry. His brother was arrested this week so….anyway….you were saying.

Brian BARE: I’m just a little shocked that you would choose the man who beat you last week.

Simon Sparrow: The thing is Brian…as long as Max Kael DOESN’T win….all is well. And here’s why….if Max Kael doesn’t win tonight, then I’m going to cash in my guaranteed title shot and at “March to Glory” it will be Max Kael versus Simon Sparrow for the ICON Title!!!!

Brian BARE: WHOA!!!

Simon Sparrow: That’s IF he fails to win the tournament. But “March to Glory” is still too far off. Tonight, I have bigger fish to fry. Lee would have everyone believe that tonight will be a preview to War Games, but we all know that’s a load of manure. If it were a preview, I would have been named a Captain. But we all know War Games will be Team Wolfgang against Team HOW Champion whomever that might be. Considering the possible main event match ups for “March to Glory”, I would not stick my neck out for any one of those nimrods. I not take part in War Games if Scottywood, Ethan Cavanaugh, Max Kael, or Mario become a captain!

Brian BARE: Since you’ve mentioned it, considering the history between you two, tonight will be the first time ever you will be in the ring with Aceldama who has—

Simon Sparrow: Wolfgang Bruggemann has decided that he wants to wage war against the HOW and the United States by perpetrating countless acts of terrorism and the Sparrow Committee Against Terrorism will not stand for it!!! Tonight, a statement will be made when I enter that ring tonight. Wolfgang Bruggemann and his sidekick who stole Flavor Flav‘s hat, the Big Danish…..

Louis the Little Person: The Great Dane.

Simon Sparrow: Look, whatever….my point is, tonight will begin the Fall of the Uprising and that is promise.

Brian BARE: Thank you, Simon for your time.

Brian BARE rises from his chair. Simon Sparrow gives BARE a confused look.

Louis the Little Person: Where the fuck are you going?

Brian BARE: What? There’s more?

Simon Sparrow: There’s still one final announcement.

Louis the Little Person: Yeah! So sit down before I shove my hand up your fucking ass and yank out your motherfucking spleen, cumstain!

Brian BARE sits back down in his chair.

Simon Sparrow: Yes. After “March to Glory” my substance abuse program will begin. Now, before we begin we need someone to go through the program to test it’s results and I am proud to announce that after searching and searching….we have a volunteer!

Brian BARE: Really? Who?

Simon Sparrow: YOU!

Brian BARE (incredulous): WHAT?

Simon Sparrow: Yes. I mentioned to you before that there was a condition to this interview and that condition is to enter the program!

Brian BARE: I don’t have a problem!!!!

Louis the Little Person hops out of the couch, walks over, and pulls a baseball bat from behind the couch.

Louis the Little Person: You’re about to have a HUGE fucking problem if you don’t get more fucking receptive to the idea of entering the fucking program.

Simon Sparrow: You have until March to Glory to decide. Keeping in mind, you are expendable….and there is a rule in place that if we were to run a drug test on you right here and now and you fail….or even if we search you and we find drugs or drug paraphernalia you could be suspended without pay or even fired. It’s up to you. Think about it.

Brian BARE, twitchier than ever, gets up from his chair and exits the room as the scene ends.


You know that I know

We cut backstage where we see Missy Andrews standing outside the office of Lee Best. Suddenly we hear someone yell out from inside the room.


Missy opens the door and we see Lee Best drying off his hair, obviously just finished taking a shower, and he motions for her to take a seat as he walks behind his desk and takes a seat as he puts the towel on the desk and begins buttoning up his black dress shirt.

Missy Andrews: Mr. Best are you sure you want to do this right now…I mean considering what just happened earlier tonight with Steele and..

Lee Best: Fuck Steele and I don’t want to hear that fucking name come out of your mouth again or else I will be forced to rip your fucking eye up and skull fuck you until I…

Lee stops as Missy stands up and starts to leave…


Missy stops dead in her tracks and slowly turns around as Lee stands up and walks over to her….stopping literally inches from her and he grabs her around the waist and presses her body up against his own as he glares into her eyes.

Lee Best: If you ever fucking walk away from me when I am talking to you again it will be the very last time you walk period…..you got that…..you see Missy I am not like my fucking dead gay brother…..I will not put up with your bitch ass….this is all you need to know about me Ms. Andrews…I WILL fuck you..and I will fire you….when those two things happen all depends on you…

Missy pushes Lee back..

Missy Andrews: Fuck you Lee…I don’t need this shit…expect a call from my fucking lawyer..

Lee just starts laughing and his laughter makes Missy pause as she looks at the owner of HOW who walks back behind his desk and opens up a drawer and pulls out a Folgers coffee canister.

Missy Andrews: What is so funny?

Lee Best: You know what this is? Inside this fucking coffee tin is the remains of my brother, a man that sucked cock for a living and hired your ass when he wasn’t busy doing that. It makes me wonder as to why my gay ass cock loving brother would keep a fine piece of ass like yourself around when he was hell bent on getting everyone to forget me…..but then it came to me…..and that is why you are going to sit your ass down…cause you fucking know what I am talking about.

Missy, clearly unsettled, slowly takes a seat and stares at the Folgers coffee tin with fear in her eyes.

Lee Best: Even tho Mike was a cocksucker he was smart and he knew how to do his homework. He kept you around because he knew something and when I came back and started to throw all his homo erotic bullshit out, I stumbled across something…something that I am sure you knew about and wanted to be kept quiet….

Missy Andrews: You wouldn’t dare Lee…what do you have to gain?

Lee smiles as he pats the tin holding the remains of his brother.

Lee Best: Look Missy…if you don’t want people to know..thats fine and dandy….but if you want me to keep this between me and you then you gotta do something for me…

Missy just grimaces at the thought…

Lee Best: BUT I will wait to tell you what that ….as of right now I got more pressing matters..so go do your fucking job and I will do mine…fair enough?

A tear rolls down the cheek of Missy as she just nods and stands up and leaves the room as Lee smiles watching her leave as he holds the remains of Mike in his hands.

Patting the top of the tin Lee hums the Folgers In Your Cup commercial jingle as the action cuts to ringside for our next match.


Hydra vs. Extreme Kaos
Tag Team Match

Joe Hoffman: What does Lee have over Missy……but anyway folks we’re back and ready for the first of two tag team matches tonight, Hydra and Extreme Kaos will be facing off, each trying to score their first wins in HOW.

Benny Newell: And when one of them does score a victory I’ll maybe start to give a fuck about one of them. But don’t hold your breath.

Both the teams of Hydra and Extreme Kaos make their way down to the ring as Boettcher starts the match as James Ranger and Porno Prometheus start the match off as the start off back and forth and Porno gets the early advantage as he tags in KC Kash who keeps the attack going until James turns things around with a big jawbreaker and tags in Jake who hits a big moonsault and goes for a cover and Kash kicks out. Kash is able to stun Jake and tag Porno back in as he nails a flying clothesline and a couple of other quick moves before hitting a double knee facebuster and goes for a cover but Jake kicks out. Jake manages to tag James back in and James comes in full of steam with a spin kick followed by inverted DDT which he stalks Porno as he gets up and connects with a boot to the gut followed by an axe kick that he calls Rolling Thunder as James picks up the pinfall to win the match.

Bryan McVay: The winners of the match in 7 minutes and 10 seconds… James Ranger and Jake Archer…. Hydra!!!

Joe Hoffman: Well Hydra picks up their first win as a tag team here in HOW as they build some good momentum before March 2 Glory.

Benny Newell: But are they on the card? No. So who gives a fuck about their momentum… DRINK!

Joe Hoffman: Anyhow we gotta take a commercial break…we will be right back folks.


Official sponsor of all H.O.W. dead people


You lose before you gain..

We come back from commercial backstage where we find Guy Stephens doing some last minute warm ups as he prepares for his match. Static is dressed in his usual combat bottoms and boots, his elbows and wrists taped up in preparation for his match later on. Static is shadow boxing in the mirror, throwing lefts and rights into mid air as the door opens and an unknown man enters the room.

Mr Stephens, a message from a K.Wilkinson, requests your presence at the tier eight entrance to the arena.”

Static turned, his eyes piercing back at the messenger.

Static: Did you just say Wilkinson?

The messenger nodded worryingly. Turning and running for the door as Static chased after him angrily as the camera followed quickly behind them.

Benny Newell: What’s got him all pissy all of a sudden?

Joe Hoffman: Shut up and we’ll find out.

As the camera reaches the exit we find Static stood fists clenched and ready to pounce, close friend Dylan Devine is passed out on the deck, a small speck of blood noticeable on the right side of his neck, stood over him, wearing her lab coat, is Katrina Wilkinson, Static’s former psychiatrist and now sworn enemy for what she had put him through.

Katrina: I warned you this wasn’t over.

As Katrina stood, her menacing scowl directed towards Static, two men dressed in white picked up Dylan, throwing his lifeless body into the back of a blacked out van. Static ran towards Katrina, but suddenly Shane, Katrina’s brother appears from behind the van, wielding a baseball bat of his own which stopped Static dead.

Benny Newell: Static on the receiving end of a baseball bat for a change.

Joe Hoffman: Remember Benny he’s scheduled to compete tonight.

Benny Newell: Maybe he forgot to R.S.V.P Joe.

Joe Hoffman: Stick to the day job for once huh?

Benny Newell: Shut it Joe, I can be funny if I want to be.

Benny takes another drink as we see Static drop to the floor, a smirking Katrina wanders towards Static, removing a syringe from her inside pocket, she reaches Static who is beginning to stir on his knees.

Shane: I’m not finished yet sis.

Katrina: Quiet, we haven’t got long…

Suddenly as Shane swung in an attempt to hit Static across his spine, the baseball bat stops in mid air, Shane’s obvious groans as he attempts to overpower the resistance.

Time isn’t on your side.”

Aceldama is stood holding the baseball bat; he pulls on it, taking it clean from Shane’s hands as Shane stands in shock. As Katrina begins to back up, Shane does the same, Aceldama standing tall as Static climbs back to his feet, holding his head with his right hand. As Katrina scowls, the sound of the van starting up and speeding off can be heard. Katrina’s scowl fades into a smirk. Shane cowardly stands behind his sister as she points at Static.

Katrina: I warned you this wasn’t over.

Static: You won’t get away with this.

Static attempts to walk forward but is stopped by Aceldama, who shakes his head at Static, Katrina laughs, and begins to walk away, her back turned as her brother follows her quickly.

Katrina: Just do as your told Stephens, you always do.

Static’s attention turns; angrily he shoves Aceldama backwards, his eyes filling with rage.


Aceldama is slow to react, knowing his ally’s rage.

Aceldama: Those Americans will pay for taking your friend, but tonight we have problems of our own.

Static: But Dylan…

Aceldama: I will speak with my advisors, until then, get your head screwed on. Tonight you edge closer to the title you so desperately crave.

Static lowered his head; nodding in agreement he walked away, leaving Aceldama stood, watching him leave.

Aceldama: Remember my friend, the anarchy must continue, for Der Austand.

Benny Newell: Looks like there’s trouble brewing between The Uprising members already Joe.

Joe Hoffman: Perhaps, there are definitely different objectives for each member that’s for sure.

Benny Newell: Germany and Britain might not be able to co-operate after all.

Static just raises an arm to acknowledge Aceldama’s last words as he continues to walk away back towards his locker room as we cut back to ringside with Joe and Benny.


Laying down the law

Cutting from backstage we see the lights slowly dim out. The crowd in the Kallisten Coliseum get to their feet as a buzz is heard coming through the speakers in the arena.

Benny Newell: What is that sound?

As the buzzing starts to die down, “Alcohaulin’ Ass” by Hellyeah begins to pound away in the arena. Stepping out from behind the curtain, Kostoff stands as the crowd erupts for the HOW Hall Of Famer. Standing on the stage, he makes his way down to the ring. Slapping high fives with the crowd, he makes his way around ringside. Sliding into the ring he grabs the LSD title and slings it over his shoulder. Wearing a pair of jeans, a pair of black combat boots, and a leather jacket.

Joe Hoffman: The monster known as Kostoff is here this week folks! He doesn’t do in ring promo’s so this must be something big.

Benny Newell: Screw him.

Kostoff: I want to get a few things off my chest. First off I want to thank everyone who stood behind me and made me into the fighter I’ve been in HOW. My run of late has shocked everyone because people swore up and down I was washed up. I want to let those who think my time is up here to understand that as long as I can walk, I’ll be in the ring for any fight.

Kostoff: That brings me to March To Glory. Coming up I’ll be taking on the winner of, and I’ll be defending the LSD Title.

Taking the title belt from his shoulder he looks at it. Nodding his head he lays the title belt on the mat at his feet.

Kostoff: A 3 time LSD title winner, who would have thought it? But to be honest let’s run down what I’ve done in HOW. 2 time HOW World champ, ICON Champ, first ever HOW tag team champion also went on to win it on one other occasion. Been in some of the bloodiest wars that the wrestling world has ever seen. Won HOW from Lee Best, set SIK’s uncle on fire with Darkwing.

Kostoff: What I’ve done here in HOW are things that people dream of doing in their career, I’ve done it in one place. Have I been a bloody mess? Hell yes I have been. Have I gotten my ass whooped? Hell yes I’ve taken beatings, but I keep on getting up. I keep on taking the lumps and going back to give them right back.

Kostoff: What this belt means to me, it means that I’m the best in this division. I know Static wants this belt and that he is some one man wrecking ball. Static boy I’ve got news for you, you aren’t gonna run through me like I’m some fucking rookie inside that ring boy. You mistake me for one of those drones you are facing this week.

He pulls his hair back from his face and leans into the camera. His scars are profound on his head as he leans in. His eyes glaze over as emotions begin to well up inside of him.

Kostoff: You see, I’m a man of action Static. You made your point last week after my match. So wanted to be seen? You got your wish boy. You wanted it, you got it.

Kostoff: What makes this even more fun for me, you’re teaming up with the mongoloid Ace and his band of retards. Now as funny as this might be, I find it mildly annoying. You think that because you joined up with a group of guys that it means you’ve earned the right to get a shot at the title Static?

Pulling his face back from the camera he begins to pace back and forth in front of the LSD title.

Kostoff: After all the men that have bleed in this ring, after all the pain that we have gone through in this ring that we are going to allow you and that goon Ace do what ya’ll want to do? Men like Simon Sparrow, Darkwing, Mark O’Neal, Narcotic, Max…we have done more for HOW and this business than you fucks will ever have done.

Kostoff: I hope you win this week Static. I pray you win, I want you to make it to the PPV with the chance for you to beat me for this LSD title. I want you to be the man I face at March To Glory. I’ll be pissed if you aren’t but it won’t surprise me.

Walking back to the LSD title he picks it up and slings it over his shoulder.

Kostoff: I’ll be watching you tonight Static, for your sake you better hope your boys have your back. I’ll be watching…waiting…and just when you think you are free and clear, I’ll be there boy. I’m like the wind, I’m everywhere. And as far as Ace, slant, and the other tool…I’ll get you fools back soon enough.

Kostoff: Win tonight Static and we’ll burn the house down when we face off. Lose, well then you aren’t worth a squirt of piss. I’ll see you in the ring boy….

Throwing down the mic, “Alcholhaulin’ Ass” begins to pour through the speakers as Kostoff slides under the rope and begins to make his way up te ramp. As he makes it to the top of the stage, he turns and raises the LSD title over his head as the crowd erupts. Standing there he soaks in the cheers before he ducks behind the curtain as we head to commercial break.


Check out WMW’s latest supercard with an appearance from Lee Best


Static vs. Justin Decent vs. ‘The Violence’ Vince Jones
Triple Threat Match

Joe Hoffman: Up next we got a match with big March 2 Glory implications, the winner of this triple threat will get a LSD title shot against Chris Kostoff at March 2 Glory.

Benny Newell: So the winner will actually be the loser, cause they will have to face the monster Kostoff for the LSD title.

Joe Hoffman: Well I’m sure they won’t think of it that way, especially Static who has been aiming for the LSD title since his return to HOW.

We see Vince Jones, Justin Decent and then Static make their way down to the ring, all very focused on this all important match. Hortega calls for the bell to start things off as we see Decent and Jones start to trade punches as Static hangs back. As the two wear each other down Static comes off the ropes and drills both with a clothesline and focuses on Jones as he lays punches into his head. Static hits a standin spinebuster before connecting with a Static Slam but only gets a two as Decent breaks the pinfall up. Decent starts working Static over with a quick clothesline and DDT before he connects with his finisher The Reverse edge as he goes to pin Static but Jones is able to break that up. Decent fights back at Jones and tosses him out of the ring as he lands hard and does the same to Static once he gets up.

Joe Hoffman: This is not a no DQ match, so they better be careful out here.

Benny Newell: Shut up and just let them fight. DRINK!

Static battles back on the outside as he rings Decent’s head off the ring post and slams it into the steel steps which busts him open over the eyebrow. Static then attempt for the Static Slam on the outside but Decent counters it and sends Static face first into the announcer table where his head hits the corner of a monitor and splits him open.

Joe Hoffman: He better not get blood on my new shirt.

Benny Newell: Or more importantly in my Jack!

As Static stumbles off dazed we see Jones up on the apron and he leaps off and takes Decent out with a crossbody as he quickly pulls him up and throws him back into the ring. Jones hits a couple quick moves and cover for a cover which Decent kicks out at two. Suddenly outside the ring we see Kostoff hoping the security barricade with Shirley in hand as he lines up the still dazed Static and drills him with the baseball bat knocking him out cold as in the ring we see Decent reversing Jone’s brainbuster DDT and hits Reverse Edge as he hooks the leg and gets the pinfall on Jones.

Bryan McVay: The winner of this match and #1 Contender for the LSD title…. Justin Decent!!!

Kostoff slides into the ring from behind Decent who is having his arm raised by Hortega and drills him in the back of the head with the LSD title as the crowd erupts in cheers for the LSD champion.

Joe Hoffman: And here comes The Uprising!

Kostoff spots the anti-Americans coming down the ramp to defend their fallen stablemate Static as he pauses for the second and debated fighting the four men but is smart and dives out of the ring and heads back out through the crowd. We see Aceldama attend to Static whose face is covered in blood after the baseball bat shot.

Joe Hoffman: Well Static falls short of gaining the LSD title shot he has been aiming for and instead it will be Justin Decent and Chris Kostoff battling it out at March 2 Glory for the LSD title. That will be a big test for the monster Kostoff as Decent has been on very hot since joining HOW.

Benny Newell: Hot? You turning into Mike Best?

Joe Hoffman: I said… never mind… Think whatever you want.

Benny Newell: What? You said Justin Decent was hot…


A Best Reward

Joe Hoffman: Well folks, as we get things cleared up here at ringside, let’s take you back on what can only be described as the tumultuous journey that the Faze Brothers have been on since debuting as a tag team at the last HOW pay-per-view ICONIC. Let’s take a look.

As Joe directs our attention to the HOV, it fires up with video clips of Griffin and Ryan Faze that have been taken over the past several months. First and foremost, the formation of Alpha Beta Slam is shown as Ryan Faze is revealed to have an identical twin brother in defeating and outsmarting Hall of Fame announcer Benny Newell at ICONIC. Upon seeing this, Benny doesn’t take too kindly to this reminder and responds by taking several swigs from his official March 2 Glory flask.

Up next on the screen, we see the duo pledge their commitment to Brotherhood; looking hopeful in their quest to win the Tag Team titles from Twisted Reality before ultimately falling short in their opening round Invitational match. Devastation is emphasized as Scottywood pins Ryan Faze and additional footage is shown of him being admitted to Cook County Memorial Hospital, having suffered a coma as a result of his overdose on painkillers.

Furthermore, their suffering is highlighted even more so as Griffin is shown being pinned by Aceldama after what was an unexpectedly close battle over the World title; all of which is capped off by the knockout boot to Ryan’s head by CRIP from Appalachian Wrestling.

On the upside, the “Phenomenal One’s” incapacitation proved to be the beginning of his brother Griffin’s success in HOW as a more optimistic feel to the video package is underlined. Highlights of Griffin’s victories over Jason Midnight and the Maurako Family take display, however, any sense of optimism that is portrayed from these matches lasts only briefly as a more negative feel takes its place. Quickly, the tension between the two identical twin brothers becomes evident.

Fighting with each other because of identical goals and aspirations, the Faze Brothers would square off in a Fraternity House Brawl that saw Griffin defeat Ryan to advance to the Knockout stage of the Best Invitational. The fans wince and stir as gruesome clips of that match are shown, especially during the point where Griffin crashes his brother through a sliding glass door. Ryan is shown lying motionless in a pool of his own blood before the video package transitions to Griffin’s victory over Erites Kallisten; perhaps the last highlight before Griffin is shown rendered unconscious from Ethan Cavanaugh’s “Tyneside” choke hold.

This is the final image that we’re left with; Griffin’s refusal to give up to the submission and his dream of winning the HOW World title. As the HOV turns back to a live shot of the arena, Joe welcomes us back with the ring now cleared from the previous match.

Joe Hoffman: Certainly, we can all try to sympathize what the Faze Brothers have been through recently, but if the ABS Party Bus gives us any indication of things to look forward to with the tag team, then perhaps there is some light at the end of the proverbial tunnel… wouldn’t you say Benny?

Benny Newell: Huh? What? Sorry. I keep thinking about that chick that we saw earlier in the show… whatsername again? Cadence? Fuck, I think she works Thursday evenings at the Crazy Horse Too. Ah, well… DRINK!!

Suddenly, the eruption of Breaking Benjamin’s “Phase” throughout the speaker system brings life back into the Kallisten Coliseum, as the playing of the tune can only mean one thing.

Joe Hoffman: Ladies and Gentlemen, the news broke early this week over on HOWrestling.com and we are now coming to see it LIVE here on Turmoil… the return of Alpha Beta Slam! We’ve seen them go from inseparable from each other to intolerable and back again, but whatever the case may be this time around, it’s good to see the Faze Brothers together again after weeks and weeks of tension nearly tore them apart for good.

The “Phenomenal One” Ryan Faze is first out from the curtain; the crowd roaring on their feet as he begins making his way down the entrance ramp. Slapping hands along the way, he pauses about half-way down to see Griffin emerge, flanked by about a dozen gorgeous strippers that accompanied them in the ABS Party Bus. Benny is speechless as they all make their way past the announce table.

All celebrations aside, Griffin and Ryan are the only ones to enter the squared circle where they’re each handed a microphone by Bryan McVay.

Ryan Faze: Thank you ladies… Please… don’t let this interrupt your fun with each other. Do wait for us back at the bus.

Nudging his brother’s arm, Griffin shoots Ryan a glare forcing the “Phenomenal One” to put forth a more serious tone.

Ryan Faze: AHEM! Right. Sorry, Griff. In all seriousness, what I meant to say was THANK YOU to each and every one of you fans…

The fans can only cheer in response as Ryan appears genuine in his address. He takes a moment to give them their due before continuing.

Ryan Faze: …you all stood by me when I reached the lowest of the low, and not just the lowest point of my career, but the lowest point of my entire life. I hit rock bottom. I was a terrible role model for the young Phenomenal Fan Nation out there. And worst of all, I took you all for granted. So please, I come before you tonight asking you all for your forgiveness. After all I’ve done, I can honestly say I don’t deserve it… but for what it’s worth, I wholeheartedly apologize.

Another round of cheers ensues as some people in the audience are even seen tearing up upon seeing Ryan owning up to his faults. Trying not to tear up himself, Ryan turns toward his brother.

Ryan Faze: And Griffin… brother. Hell, my best friend….

Suddenly, a “Faze of HOW” chant breaks out for Griffin Faze; one that surprisingly sees Ryan step aside to let his brother soak in the moment for all he’s accomplished thus far in his young career.

Ryan Faze: You hear these fans, bro? You deserve every ounce of their respect. Out of everyone… I owe you the biggest apology of all. When my life was spinning out of control, you were there for me every step of the way… even when I kept telling you to ‘fuck off’ for all the success you were experiencing throughout the Invitational. I’ll be the first one to admit to you, live here on Turmoil, that I was jealous; jealous of the man that ultimately saved my life…

This time, a “Thank You Griff” chant busts out as Ryan continues.

Ryan Faze: …and for that, I thank you.

No longer holding back their emotions, the Faze Brothers share a touching embrace with each other as the fans continue to cheer them on for reconciling their differences.

Benny Newell: Good Lord! Can’t they just suck each other’s cocks later so we can go party with those bitches heading back to the Party Bus?

Joe Hoffman: Will you stop if for just one minute, Buff? Truly, this is one of those rare moments in wrestling; a touching display of emotion between two of the most dedicated members of our roster… brothers in arms.

Slowly but surely, the cheers die down allowing Griffin to regain his composure and take his turn on the microphone.

Griffin Faze: Alright, alright, alright… now that we’ve got that out of the way, we can finally get down to why we’re really here… and that’s business. See, it was only a few days ago that my brother and I decided to pay a visit to PWX to reclaim what’s rightfully ours

Ryan Faze: And by ‘ours’, he means Alpha Beta Slam’s… not just aitch-oh-dubbya’s.

Griffin Faze: Oh, how right you are Ryan. Unfortunately, our little ‘visit’ failed to go as planned, leaving us empty-handed… something that I can guarantee you WON’T happen at March 2 Glory.

Pausing intentionally to raise the suspense level of his announcement, Griffin lets the crowd buzz for a moment before finally deciding to fill them in.

Griffin Faze: Just because I failed to win the Invitational, doesn’t mean I’m going to hang my head around here like a little bitch. See, my brother and I simply can’t let go of the fact that we PROVED we are better than our current Tag Team champions – two pathetic, worthless men that have barely lifted a finger to try and reclaim the titles back to HOW’s possession – the Maurako Family. Think about it for a second… how absolutely fitting is it that in just a few moments, you’re about to witness our own Tag Team titles being defended with no gold to show for the winner?

The crowd boos, showing their disapproval of the Maurako Family’s lack of passion for reclaiming the titles.

Griffin Faze: You’d think there’d be a little bit more effort from the Maurakos, wouldn’t you? But no… there too busy jacking off over Mario’s World title to realize how important defending the honor of those titles is to this company… something that Ryan and I are taking very seriously. Tell ’em, Ry…

Ryan Faze: In 11 days, the High Octane Tag Team titles will be up for grabs at March 2 Glory. In 11 days, two rival teams from rival federations will be in that match, trying to disgrace the honor of HOW and our Tag Team division – which is why in 11 days, Alpha Beta Slam will be leaving Rome, Italy as your new High Octane Wrestling Tag Team Champions!!!

The crowd bursts out in cheers, wanting nothing more than to see ABS fulfill their proclamation at March 2 Glory.

Joe Hoffman: What a huge announcement here on Turmoil!

Still, everyone – including the ever-curious Joe Hoffman – is left to speculate how and why they’ve been added to the match.

Griffin Faze: Let’s be honest… regardless of what he’s done in the past, Lee would – ahem – “kill” for this company and has always had the back of his roster when it comes what’s important to him. Since he owed Ryan a favor, we’re going to give him one back when we bring the Tag Titles back home! So to the Hierarchy… to Valora… to Bill-Man or whatever the fuck he wants to be called… consider this your warning. And to Cool Reality and whoever comes away with a victory in this next match… don’t be jealous for when ABS are the ones wearing the gold in Rome.

Dropping their microphones, the Faze Brothers each take to a turnbuckle to play up to the fans that are cheering them on relentlessly in support of their goal of winning the Tag Team titles.

Joe Hoffman: You heard it hear first, folks! Alpha Beta Slam has been added to the March 2 Glory Tag Team title match!

Benny Newell: For all that talk, they’d better not fuck this up now that HOW has the rival federations outnumbered, 3 teams to 2.

Joe Hoffman: The real question is will those teams’ egos get in the way of our efforts to get back the gold? It will all be answered at March 2 Glory, but for now, we’ve got to take yet another commercial break before the Tag Team titles…

Benny Newell: …or lack thereof…

Joe Hoffman: …are on the line. Stay tuned!


Dear America

The cameras cut to the hallways of the Kallisten Coliseum. The one and only Christopher America wanders past agents and other wrestlers, most of who shoot him a sympathetic glance as he shuffles past, still trying to loose his limbs which stiffened from trying to get into the Coliseum. After a moment he reached the wrestler’s locker room. He stares at the door for a moment, as if trying to recollect some memory. After a moment America tries to push the door in, but it doesn’t open. He continues pushing but it still doesn’t open; clearly locked. After a moment America snaps and begins pounding wildly on the doors.

Voice [off-camera]: And what do you think you’re doing exactly?

America whips around, the cameras pan back to reveal Ethan Cavanaugh, in his ring gear and a black HOW t-shirt. Cavanaugh smirks at America, who doesn’t seem happy at all to see him.

Cavanaugh: Christopher America; I hope you haven’t forgotten your status around here. This place is for professional wrestlers to prepare themselves.

America: Yeah, and I’ve got a match tonight!

Cavanaugh: But you are not a professional wrestler are you? You’re a slave and as such you are lower than the people behind those doors. In comparison, really, you are worthless. So what makes you think you, a mere subject, deserves to be in the same space? Breathe the same air? Enjoy the same liberties?

America looks more than a little offended and lunges forward, now nearly face-to-face with his ‘master’. He breathes raggedly, clinches his face in fury as Cavanaugh glares back; completely unmoved.

Cavanaugh: What? Are you going to strike me now…boy? Know your place. You accepted the risks; you gambled with your freedom. You are not a Man…you may have never been one. And now, for the first time, you and everyone else will learn the difference.

America lunges closer, ready and willing to strike but slowly, slowly backs away. His breathing becomes regular as Cavanaugh erupts in a condescending laugh, ignoring him as he picks up his back and turns to go into the locker room anyway. The moment he turns his back to him, Cavanaugh slaps America on the back of the head and turns him around, pointing his head down the hall.

Cavanaugh: ‘Your’ locker room is over there.

Cavanaugh chuckles again and shoves America forward roughly, nearly knocking him into the cameraman who manages to get out of the way at the last moment. America stumbles but regains his footing, the camera zooming back as he makes his way down the end of the hall, towards a door clearly labeled ‘Whites Only’. He opens the door and turns his head away in disgust. He had been relegated to the utility closet as a changing room.

Upon entering, Christopher pulls the small string to turn on the light bulb. As he begins to change he notices the light reflecting off a small piece of metal in the corner. Upon inspection, Christopher recognizes the piece of metal and the leather attached. A note is taped to the object.

“Dear Christopher,

The General won’t be needing this anymore and given your current circumstance, I’d say that this is more fitting for you to wear.

It’s a collar fit for a dog.

Enjoy bitch.


Christopher crumpled the note and squeezed the collar in his hand as he cut to commercial.


LBI Winner vs. Mario Maurako©

Justin Decent vs. Chris Kostoff©

Christopher America vs. Mike Plow©

AWS Man and Valora vs. Cool Reality vs. A.B.S. vs. The Hierarchy vs. HOW Tag Team Champions©

Carmen Jennings vs. Kirsta Lewis

Marcus Reinhardt vs. Mark O’Neal


The new Bottom Bitch

Returning from commercial break we are in Lee Best’s office as we see the boss working on some paperwork as suddenly we see “The Hardcore Artist” Scottywood walks in with Frankie the Cameraman who is both nervous about Scotty who attacked him the day before and Lee who has Bottom Lined him in the past and is obviously not in a good mood tonight.

Scottywood: I got a huge fuckin’ match tonight to get ready for Lee, so what the fuck do you want?

Lee Best: Easy there Scotty, just wanted to say that your check cleared and your 1.2 million dollar debut has been cleared.

Scottywood: I’m SO glad you got your money. I’m also SO glad you added Alpha Beta Sucks to the Tag Team title match. I mean again what the fuck have they done to deserve a shot at the titles.

Lee Best: They testified for me you fuckstick unlike your dreadlocked ass. Sucks to cross the boss doesn’t it?

Scottywood: You took my job as GM away from me? What the fuck did you expect?

Lee Best: I expected some faith you fuck. So now you’re gonna be My Bottom Bitch.

Scottywood: Fuck you, I ain’t being shit to you.

Lee Best: Fine, I don’t wanna deal with you anyhow on a daily basis. Frankie is gonna be My Bottom Bitch!

Scottywood: Fine, see if I care.

Lee Best: Good, now Frankie, go get me a fucking drink while I gotta go talk to Simon Sparrow. When I return if there is not a fucking drink sitting on my desk you’ll be the first person to Bottom Lined twice in HOW history you skinny fuck.

Lee gets up from his desk and storms out of the office as Frankie hides behind Scotty in fear of the angry Lee Best.

Scottywood: I told Cancer when the opportunity arises I would know…. And boy do I know.

We see Scotty pick up the Folgers can from Lee’s desk with a huge smile on his face as he and Frankie walk out of the office as we cut back to ringside.


HOW Tag Team Title Match
The Axis OF Power vs. The Maurako Family
Tag Team Match

Joe Hoffman: I really don’t wanna know why Scotty just took Mike Best’s ashes so were just gonna transition into the Tag Team titles match, something that should really interest Scottywood and his partner Mr. Cool.

Benny Newell: Why? It’s not like they stand a chance against either of these teams.

Joe Hoffman: Well let’s just get through this match and see who will go on to March 2 Glory.

We see the Axis of Powers Kenji and William make their way down to the ring followed by The Maurako Family’s Bobbinette and Martino as Boettcher calls for the bell to get things going and Martino makes Bobbinette start off against the crazed Kenji who easily overpowers her with some big moves as he tags in Williams who works over Carey in the corner and lays her out in the middle of the ring before tagging Kenji back in who pick Carey up for a powerbomb but she reverses into a hurracaranna and manages to tag Martino in who starts to work over Kenji and gets a near fall as Martino again works over4 Kenji and gets a near fall before he is able to tag in Williams who fights back against Martino and plants him hard before getting a near fall.

Joe Hoffman: Close match here as Axis of Powers almost won the titles.

Benny Newell: Almost doesn’t cut it Joe.

Williams is annoyed as he pulls Martino up and tries to hit Gakkarida but fails as Martino reverses and tags in Bobbinette who delivers a sharp kick to Martino and goes for the cover but Kenji kicks out. Carey tries to hit the Roality check but Kenji reverse that into a powerbomb as the crowd boos as kenji stalks Kenji who gets back up to her feet as Kenji drives a knee into her gut and hits the Mou Takusan on her and goes for the cover.




Bryan Mcvay: The winners of this match and the NEW HOW Tag Team champions….. The Axis of Powers!!!!

Boettcher raises the arm of Kenji and Williams as he is unable to hand them their newly won titles which PWX still has possession of, but the two men celebrate in the ring even without the gold.

Joe Hoffman: Well Axis of Powers wins the gold, but if they really want it they will have to win at March 2 Glory and take it from Brain Hollywood and John Pariah who are in possession of the belts.

Benny Newell: Fuck them, HOW is going to take the titles back with ease once they have to fight in a real match those AIDS cock sucking whores.

Joe Hoffman: cause that made sense… Anyhow we now know it will be Axis of Powers defending their newly won belts against CooL Reality, Alpha Beta Slam, WMW and PWX… what a fuckin match that will be. Let’s head backstage where we got Missy Andrews standing by.


Making a stand..

Backstage, Missy Andrews tries to catch up with Dawn McGill who arrives with a group of people who stream into the backstage area of the Kallisten Arena.

“Dawn? Dawn! Can I have a word?”

Dawn stops and the group falls in behind her.

“Dawn, just who are all these people?”

“Well, Missy. We’ve got the American Heartland Coalition here again this week. Over there…” She points to a tall, lanky guy with brownish hair. “…that’s my cousin Charlie Blackwell. He wrestles over at Dream. And those over there…”

“YEEAHHHHHHHHHH!” A group of ten people hop up and down and yell.

“They’re part of the cast of ‘Porky’s the Musical.”

One cast a member, a woman, steps out.

“I have a solo in the show.” She clears her throat and sings:

“Has anybody hereeee

Seee-een Mike Hunt

Is Mike Hunt even hereeee…”

“Okay, thats enough, Julia.”

Julia pouts and melts back into the group.

“So, Dawn. You’ve said some strong things about Aceldama and the Uprising.”

“I have, Missy. Because no matter what I think, Aceldama and his Axis of Ignorance have the right to speak their peace about America. However, what they’re doing is using America as a convenient scapegoat to cover up their true intention- using violence and intimidation to get their way. Aceldama all but admitted it on last week’s Turmoil.”

Replay from Last Week’s Turmoil

Aceldama– Our words are simple, forget our words, watch our actions. Too many of you back there like to talk, but you’re unwilling to follow up on your threats. We don’t talk. This first act is a lesson to all you Americans out there. That your actions must have consequences. You want to bad mouth us, you want to black list us, fine. Only fuels what we will do. Also, that we work together, this team is a finely tuned engine, and together nobody can tear us down, and anybody who is brave enough to step up to the plate and prove us wrong…..will get it coming to them. We ALWAYS get what we want, because we don’t talk about getting it, we simply TAKE it.

“There it is. This isn’t about America. This is about Aceldama and his little Axis of Ignorance using lies and distortions, propaganda and violence to GET…THEIR WAY. This anti-America noise that Ace and his junior Goebbels, Goering, and Himmler wannabes spew over and over is nothing more than a thin lining of lies about as flimsy as a house of cards. So, let’s call Der Austand what it is, Missy. A fraud. A group built on a stack of lies.”

And with that, Dawn motions the group forward and they depart.


LBI Winner vs. Mario Maurako©

Justin Decent vs. Chris Kostoff©

Christopher America vs. Mike Plow©

AWS Man and Valora vs. Cool Reality vs. A.B.S. vs. The Hierarchy vs. Axis of Power©

Carmen Jennings vs. Kirsta Lewis

Marcus Reinhardt vs. Mark O’Neal


Special Blend

Back from commercial and we see Lee leaving the Simon Sparrow office. As he closes the door behind him he turns to see Dawn McGill staring back at him.

Lee Best: What the fuck you want GI Jane?

Dawn McGill: I am actually going in there to ask our GM to..

Lee Best: Fuck that you aren’t asking Jatt…err..Simon any fucking thing….and you know why? Your ass is competing tonight and I have put in Johnny Legend’s spot..so go get fucking ready as that match is next.

Dawn just smiles and turns to go but before she does she turns around …

Dawn McGill: If I go out there and win this thing…..I want Aceldama at March to Glory as neither one of us have a match booked and I really want to..

Lee Best: Sorry toots….what the fuck you think I was doing in Sparrow’s office? I just booked Aceldama versus Simon Sparrow for the Pay Per View. You impress me enough in this match then I will think about something special for ya….so go fucking impress me…..

McGill, unhappily turns and heads off to get ready for the big match.

Shaking his head Lee turns and heads back towards his office. As he walks past several of the HOW crew he notices that all of them are drinking from official HOW beer mugs and he can only smile.

Lee Best: Fuck it….let them booze it up.

Reaching his office Lee opens the door and sees Frankie and Scotty smiling.

Lee Best: You fuckers are still in my office…what the fuck are you…

Frankie: Drink…you told me to make you a drink.

A smile comes across Lee’s face as he remembers naming Frankie his new Bottom Bitch.

Lee Best: Give me that fucking drink then….My Bottom Bitch you..

Frankie holds out his hand and gives Lee the mug..

Lee Best: What is it?

Frankie: What my dad used to drink..some Baileys and coffee..just strong enough to keep you going…and just enough..

Lee Best: Ya ya ya..fuck off…give me the damn drink.

Lee snatches the mug from Frankie and walks behind his desk and takes a seat and looks up to see Scotty and Frankie staring at him.

Lee Best: Do I look like I want to fuck you two? Get the fuck outta here….Ill ring my fucking bell when I want you….Scotty don’t you have a match in the final of my invitational? GET THE FUCK OUT!!

Scotty and Frankie just smile as they star to leave. At the door they turn around and see Lee take a big drink of the coffee and makes a real bitter beer face as he looks at the liquid he just drank.

Lee Best: What the fuck?

He looks up at Scotty and Frankie who are still standing in the open doorway..

Scottywood: Sorry Lee…Frankie ate some crayons this week…don’t hurt him for accidently using your Folgers coffee for the drink…

Lee Best: MY WHAT??

Lee drops the mug and it crashed on the floor as he picks up his Folgers Coffee Can and rips it open and sees that it is empty….

He looks up at Scotty and Frankie with rage in his eyes…

Scottywood: Sorry Lee….but you and everyone else out here in the hall just drank a special Mike Best blended cup of coffee.

In the hall we see all the men and women with a mug in their hand spit the contents from the mouths and all go running as they realize what they just drank.

Scottywood: Hows that jingle go…”With Mikey Best in your mouth’?

Lee lets out a primal scream as Scotty and Frankie take off as Lee then goes limp as he literally faints and falls to the ground.

HOW Medics come rushing into his office as we cut to ringside as the backstage area is in complete chaos.



Joe Hoffman: Did Lee just…..

Benny Newell: Fuckin’ Scottywood!!!

Joe Hoffman: I am going to puke….

As Joe pukes at the side of the table we see that all ten members of the War Games preview match are in the ring, including Dawn McGill who is replacing Johnny Legend who dropped out earlier this week. Hortega calls for the bell as Boettcher stands outside the ring to assist as all hell breaks loose in the match as punches are flying everywhere. Plow is smart and slides out of the ring, arming himself with a steal chair as we see Sparrow clothesline Aceldama over the top rope as he lands on his feet and smiles as Plow spins Ace and cracks him with a steal chair before hitting The Mike Effect on the chair and scoring the pinfall on the former World champion.

Joe Hoffman: Wow! Aceldama is the first eliminated!

Benny Newell: This is an American conspiracy!

Inside the ring Sparrow battles with Reinhardt and hits a atomic drop before connecting with The Falling Star and eliminating Reinhardt from the match as outside the ring we see America take out his anger against Cavanaugh out on O’Neal by hitting the For America! On the steal steps that America had just thrown O’Neal into as he hooks the leg and eliminates O’Neal.

Joe Hoffman: And that quickly Reinhardt and O’Neal are gone from this match. On the outside we see McGill and Plow battling as McGill irish whips Plow through the security WALL and into the first row as McGill quickly locks in the KATAHAJIME submission hold and after about twenty seconds before he forces to tap out. McGill celebrates her win as we see Kirsta Lewis with barbwire wrapped steel chair in hand as she cracks McGill in the head, busting the America warrior open as Kirsta drives the edge of the chair into her throat not once but twice before going for the pinfall which she gets, eliminating McGill.

Joe Hoffman: Kirsta not holding back in this hardcore match, she could be a heavy favorite early on.

Benny Newell: Of course she is! Because she promised me a blo….

Joe Hoffman: No! Don’t even say it.

Up on the ramp we see America and Sparrow going at it and Sparrow connects with a DDT on the stage and gets a nearfall on America who reverses it into a school boy as he grabs Sparrow’s tights and Hortega count the 1… 2…. 3….

Joe Hoffman: And America eliminated Sparrow! That is huge folks.

Benny Newell: What! No, that can’t be right!

Joe Hoffman: America is on fire here folks, he will be tough to stop as were down to Dane, Lewis, Jennings and America.

Jennings is fighting with America outside the ring even though she is trying to get a piece of Lewis who is fighting off Dane inside the ring. Jennings plants America with a DDT as Kirsta Swings her barbwire steel chair at Dane who ducks and drives a knee into the gut of Kirsta and picks her up for a powerbomb as Kirsta bites his forehead and reverses into into a huge bulldog and goes for the cover.




Kirsta picks Dane up from the mat and goes for the Hell’s Bitch kick which Dane ducks and picks her up and connects with the The Norse Drop as he goes for the quick cover.




Joe Hoffman: Kirsta is gone!

From behind Dane we see Carmen slide into the ring with a large wrench in hand from under the ring and as Dane turns around Carmen decks him in the head as Dane drops like a rock to the mat and she goes for the cover.




Benny Newell: WHAT! Carmen Jennings just got the pinfall on The Great Dane!

Joe Hoffman: She has been a sleeper all match and now she is in the final two with Christopher America.

Benny Newell: Well now she is in trouble as she goes against a pissed off slave Christopher America.

America and Jennings face off in the ring, both exhausted from the match as they lock up and America pushes her back towards the ropes as both over and to the outside. America attempts For America! But Jennings blocks it and goes for the C-Spike which she hits and goes for the cover.





America just gets his shoulder up as Carmen comes so close to winning. She pick America up and he counters with a boot to the stomach and again attempts For America which this time he almost connects with but Carmen uses her smaller size to slip out and deliver a sharp kick to the lower regions of America as she grabs a steel chair from the time keepers area and slams it across the back of America which was whipped by Cavanaugh’s cock earlier in the week. America winches in pain as Carmen again hits the C-Spike right onto the steel chair.




Joe Hoffman: OH MY GOD!!!!

Benny Newell: WHAT THE FUCK!

Bryan Mcvay: The winner of this match…. Carmen Jennings!!!

Joe Hoffman: This must be the upset of the year…. Carmen Jennings in her very first match beats Aceldama, two HOW Hall of Famers and the woman she will be facing at March 2 Glory Kirsta Lewis.

Benny Newell: How much have I had to drink tonight? Am I blacking out? Did Mr. Cool get me high? AM I TRIPPIN’!!!!

Joe Hoffman: No you’re not, Carmen Jennings wins the War Games preview match…. But were gonna cut backstage as Lee Best is getting loaded into an ambulance…

Benny Newell: WHAT!!!! I NEED TO SEE HIM!!!

Joe Hoffman: You have a show to finish, now let’s cut backstage….


The Best Medics

We cut backstage to Lee Best being helped onto a stretcher, the medics panicking around him, giving him air as he coughs violently. Lee is swearing and cursing as the medics load him onto the stretcher, strapping him down as he begins to throw wild punches towards them.


Joe Hoffman: I have a feeling he might live to regret this decision Benny.

Benny Newell: No fucking shit you dumb ass.

As the medics roll the stretcher down the corridor, the camera crew follows; the blue and red flashing lights of the ambulance now abundantly clear in the nearby distance. The two medics alternate between holding doors and navigating the stretcher safely passed eyeballing fans and crewmembers.

As they reach the ambulance, they position Lee’s stretcher near the double doors at the back. The first medic is clearly having problems opening the back doors and walks around the side of the ambulance out of sight as Lee begins coughing violently again as the camera zooms in onto a wheezing Lee Best.

Benny Newell: What is taking them so god damn long; get him to the hospital you morons.

Joe Hoffman: Where’d you think the other medic went? Obviously he needs the keys. The question is why is the doors locked.

Benny Newell: Would you leave an ambulance unlocked with people like Max Kael around to go joy riding?

As the camera zooms out, the medic who went in search for the keys is now visible again, however he’s out cold on the deck, his face busted wide open. The first medic stands speechless as the ambulance doors open and out steps………

Joe Hoffman: Holy shit.

Benny Newell: What’s he doing in there?






Static: Surprise Mother Fucker!

Static dives out of the now open ambulance, unleashing a fury of rights and lefts onto the petrified medic. Static lifts him by the throat, hitting a devastatingly hard head butt that knocks him clean out cold. Static grabs the stretcher Lee is on and begins removing the strapping as Lee continues to wheeze and cough violently.

Lee Best: *Cough * What…The…*Cough* Fuck…

Static: I told you I wanted that LSD Title; Kostoff screwed me out of my chance.

Joe Hoffman: Static’s obviously upset about earlier on tonight.

Benny Newell: He can’t do that, not to his boss.

Joe Hoffman: Doesn’t look like anyone’s stopping him does it?

Static removes the last strap before picking Lee up and throwing him hard onto the floor. Hitting a right hand he picks Lee up half way, holding the collar to his shirt.

Static: I will get MY LSD title Lee; I will be at March to Glory.

Static hits another right hand, as Lee helplessly looks up at Static.

Static: The question is Lee, Will you?

Static’s grins menacingly as he throws Lee into the back of the now empty ambulance. Lee’s body crashing against various medical supplies in the back of the ambulance, Static turns, looking into the camera silently, as his grin begins to fade, he closes the ambulance doors and climbs into the drivers seat, screeching off as the show cuts to commercial.


LBI Winner vs. Mario Maurako©

Justin Decent vs. Chris Kostoff©

Christopher America vs. Mike Plow©

AWS Man and Valora vs. Cool Reality vs. A.B.S. vs. The Hierarchy vs. Axis of Power©

Aceldama vs. Simon Sparrow

Carmen Jennings vs. Kirsta Lewis

Marcus Reinhardt vs. Mark O’Neal


Proclamation from Maxopotamia

Maximillian Kael can be seen seated on his massive throne he had created for himself out on the lawn. As the camera backs away we can see that Maximillian is being carried aloft by four janitors while Jethrol the Janitor can be seen walking by his side with a large piece of parchment unrolled in his hand.

Jethrol the Janitor: My Emperor, do you really think this is necessary? I mean.. it is just a short person with a-

Max Kael: SILENCE! Jethrol, as my trusted squire, knight and confidant I trust you to do exactly what you are told to do! And do not refer to that diminutive degenerate a little person. He isn’t a person he is an inhuman incarnation of satan’s spawn! Louis the Little Degenerate will PAY for hitting you about the chest and face with his waffle bat.

The four janitors carrying Max marched forward toward the doors of the Kallisten Coliseum as Jethrol looked down at the scroll for a moment before he shook his head.

Max Kael: Now, Jethrol, as the voice of your Emperor, we shall now announce the rulings as placed by the Emperor of HOW.

Jethrol the Janitor: Let it be known that from this day forth that Louis, being no taller than 5 foot and no shorter than 2 foot, is hereby BANISHED From the Kingdom of the HOW Grounds by order of Emperor Maximillian Kael! Should he decide to go against these wishes, should he arrive on the HOW Grounds after this demand he shall throw himself upon Maxopotamian law! He shall know a vengeance that he has never known before! A wrath the likes of which even the mighty Kahn could not conceive of! He shall woe the day he ever allied with the villainous Simon Sparrow and his S.C.A.T. regime! All glory to the EMPEROR OF HOW!


The four carrying Janitors yelled in unison with each other as Max claimed gleefully much akin to a young child seeing something that amused him greatly.

Max Kael: Good work Jethrol! And I swear to you if we do capture that little weasel I shall personally allow you to devise some manner of awful torture for the little spittlebug! Now.. tell me Jethrol, what was it my most bitter enemy decried earlier tonight?

Jethrol the Janitor: Well he declared that if you should fail and fall tonight that he would personally cash in his title match clause to.. well.. to face you.

Max Kael: WHAT!?

The Emperor of HOW Stands up as his face flushes red! The act of doing so however causes the Janitors holding him to stumble as the throne tilts to the side. Max himself seems to trip before he flails his arms into the air trying to balance himself. Unfortunately for the ICON Champion it is little to late as he suddenly falls to the side falling from this throne to the ground in a heap!

Jethrol the Janitor: Are you ok sir!?

Max scrambles up to his feet and dusts himself off as he looks around with wide eyes. As Jethrol tries to help Max shoves him away and begins to walk as if nothing happened.

Max Kael: WHAT!? Have you never see a man perform a triple axel deluxe dismount from a throne? Ahem.. as I was saying.. Simon Sparrow DARES to think I am going to fail tonight and that I, Maximillian Kael, will be forced to defend my ICON Title against that.. that.. Fraud!? Simon Sparrow is a quivering pile of worthlessness who couldn’t even manage to eck a match out against ACELDAMA and now he is going on to demand a title shot against me!? ME?!

The Janitors holding the throne follow behind Max as he makes his way toward the front doors of the arena while Jethrol hurries along beside his master.

Max Kael: Well you let that little nose picker know that if he wants to get a title shot against me he can throw away his title opportunity if he so desires because he has no CHANCE what so ever against me. None that he can expect to walk away with holding any gold that is! Let him.. LET HIM! I will end this myself if I have to! JETHROL! Prepare the tuff for my ARRIVAL!

Jethrol the Janitor: Yes my lord!


Special HOR tomorrow and next Thursday as we are officially heading to March 2 Glory next


LBI Finals Match
Scottywood vs. Max Kael vs. Ethan Cavanaugh
Triple Threat Match

Back from commercial and it’s time for the Main Event…the final match in the second annual Lee Best Invitational.

The World Champion and referee for this match, Mario Maurako, makes his way out for the match and isn’t looking too happy after seeing his family lose the tag titles earlier in the night.

Next Ethan Cavanaugh makes his way out as the HOV shows a highlight reel of Cavanaugh’s historic run thru the invitational after not being in it from the start.

Scottywood makes his way out next and the crowd cheers loudly for the Hardcore Artist after what he did to Lee earlier in the night.

Finally the ICON and Internet Champion and current Emperor of HOW, Max Kael, makes his way out and Mario quickly signals for the bell and the match is underway.

That match begins with Kael and Cavanaugh teaming up on Scottywood as its apparent that they view him as the easier target and Joe notes that they might be on working orders from Lee Best to target the Hardcore Artist.

There are several pinfall attempts that are either broken up or Mario executes a very slow count to keep the match from ending.

Joe puts over the fact that Mario actually is being smart here as you do not want any of these men to be 100% heading into the PPV and by making the match last as long as possible, Mario is actually helping his own cause by not calling it strictly by the book.

Kael and Cavanaugh execute a perfect double suplex that sends Scottywood to the outside and it is at this point that Kael turns on Cavanaugh and nails him with his P.C.P low blow move that almost gets Max the win.

Cavanaugh and Kael go back and forth for a few more minutes and it is Scottywood that makes the save after Cavanaugh nails Kael with his Magic Black piledriver finisher.

Scottywood then nails Cavanaugh with his Game Misconduct finisher and after a very slow count from Mario, Scotty and Mario get into it and Scotty nails Mario with an evenflow DDT and now we are without a ref.

As Scotty continues to talk shit Kael is up and it’s obvious that it’s the Minister in play now as he sets up and nails Scotty with his Witch Burner finisher and the crowd counts the pinfall as there is no ref..






Finally Joel Hortega is seen running down the rampway and he slides into the ring and begins the official count.



Cavanaugh makes the save..barely as the crowd groans.

Frustrated Max tosses Cavanaugh into the corner sending the Alpha Black Male shoulder first into the turnbuckle and out of commission.

Kael turns around and is met with kick to the gut and Scotty sets him up for his evenflow DDT finisher but Kael counters and instead hooks in and delivers his Lightning Spiral finisher and the crowd counts along with Joel Hortega as Kael covers as we see Mario stirring…





Mario pushes Kael off Scottywood just a millisecond too late as Kael officially wins the Best Invitational.


Suddenly the whole Maurako Family comes running down the aisle and they slide into the ring and toss Scottywood and Cavanaugh out of the ring as they all then turn their attention to Kael.

Matteo holds Kael up as Mario charges and blasts Kael with his World Title Belt.

Turmoil comes to an end as we see the Bobbinette holding Mario back as the rest of the family continue the beat down of the ICON and Internet Champion down.




Maximillian Kael vs. Mario Maurako©

Justin Decent vs. Chris Kostoff©

Christopher America vs. Mike Plow©

AWS Man and Valora vs. Cool Reality vs. A.B.S. vs. The Hierarchy vs. Axis of Power©

Aceldama vs. Simon Sparrow

Carmen Jennings vs. Kirsta Lewis

Marcus Reinhardt vs. Mark O’Neal

Show Details

Kallisten Coliseum

Chicago, Illinois

Show times

  • 9:00PM