Thursday Night Turmoil
January 28th, 2010 – #HOW104
Kallisten Coliseum, Chicago, IL
The HOTv logo gives way to the Turmoil logo as we are live!
The cameras pan across the near sold out arena and the fans that are in attendance are standing and cheering loudly and then they go quiet as the lights dim. Yellow spotlights illuminate the ramp from the curtain to ringside. “Everybody Wants You” by Billy Squier blares across the arena as Simon Sparrow and Louis the Little Person emerge from the curtain and make their way down the ramp to a mixture of cheers and boos from the crowd. Simon Sparrow is wearing a black suit, a red dress shirt, and a black paisley tie. Louis, who looks very pissed off and gives off a vibe that he doesn’t even want to be at the Kallisten Arena, is wearing a red suit with a black dress shirt and solid black tie. Both men are carrying a microphone as they walk towards the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Welcome to Thursday Night Turmoil everyone and we are kicking off this all Invitational Match show with the man who ended Justin Decent’s undefeated streak in the HOW!
Benny Newell: AND…he testified FOR Lee Best at his trial two weeks ago!
Joe Hoffman: At that trial, Lee Best offered him the position of General Manager and rumor has it, tonight he makes the announcement of whether or not he will accept the position!
Benny Newell: As long as my glass stays full of Jack Daniels, I don’t care what he decides.
Simon Sparrow and Louis the Little Person enter the ring. A yellow spotlight shines down on the center of the ring and Sparrow basks in the cheers and jeers of the HOW fans in attendance. The music fades out, the spotlights fade out and the ringside lights fade up.
Simon Sparrow: Good evening Chicago!!!
The Chicago fans cheer.
Simon Sparrow: Two weeks ago I testified on behalf of Lee Best. It wasn’t a popular decision by any means, but it was the correct decision. People have been coming up to me for the past two weeks asking me why I lied or why I had perjured myself on the stand. To people who believe that, I say this: Perception is reality. If you had listened closely you would have noticed that I worded my answers very carefully. There is a fine line between “ordering” someone to do something and “asking” someone to do something…with consequences should you not perform said act. When the video played, I was asked to explain the video. I told the prosecution exactly what I saw in video. Is that what actually happened? It’s been so long ago, who even remembers the real truth.
The point is this: After my testimony, Lee Best offered me the job of General Manager of HOW. An opportunity arose. Granted, as General Manager, I would have to report directly to Mike Best, a thought that clearly doesn’t agree with me. But there are pros and cons to accepting the position. I took last week off to really think about it. And I have made my decision……
BUT FIRST!!! I believe it was three weeks ago I had stated that I would expose Wolfgang Bruggemann as the fraud he is. Four words: I told you so. Not exactly in the way I had envisioned but mission accomplished. Wolfgang Bruggemann has proven himself to be the sociopath I always knew he was. A sociopath, a coward, and now a common thief! He had me meet him in some desolate area for a simple “Thank you” and he blindsided me.
Louis the Little Person: I told you not to go.
Simon Sparrow: Thank you for that commentary. I’ve only heard that about a thousand times already, Louis!
Louis the Little Person: I told you not to take the contract out of the briefcase. But do you fucking listen to—-
Simon Sparrow: I know! I know! You keep telling me that! For the thousandth time, I thought it would be safer in my pocket. I thought if people thought it was in the briefcase that—-Nevermind!
The point being, not only does he steal my contract but he is threatening to sell the contract to highest bidder. Not only that, he knew I wasn’t in Chicago last week, so he came out and made these false and outlandish claims that I helped him because of money. I received no monetary compensation for my part in costing Trent the HOW Championship. I did it to prove a point. Before my return at “Rumble at the Rock”, the last time you saw me, I was a defeated and broken man. An assault transpired. The Argonauts of Awesomeness annihilated me. What did Lee do? Nothing. I cost Trent the title as a reminder to Lee Best: Know who your friends are. I could continue on and on about how Wolfgang Bruggemann is a liar and at how I deserve a “Thank You” but that would be redundant and I think we’ve gone beyond the point of “Thank yous”.
Wolfgang Bruggemann’s actions two weeks ago were not just the act of a sociopath, but also the act of a terrorist. Louis, what was the name you called him?
Louis the Little Person: Fuck you!
Simon Sparrow: Are still upset about the blind date?
Louis the Little Person: You lied to me. You said she was hot!
Simon Sparrow: She was hot!
Louis the Little Person: She was three hundred fucking pounds, asshole!
Simon Sparrow: And?
Louis the Little Person: That’s NOT hot!
Simon Sparrow: She SWEATS when she walks!!! If perspiration is not a sign of someone being hot, then I don’t know what is!
Louis the Little Person: I meant hot as in HOT….beautiful!
Simon Sparrow: That wasn’t clear to me!
Louis the Little Person: Hmph!
Simon Sparrow: Come on Louis. I have a match with Kirsta Lewis later and we can’t be out here all night! For the fans, what’s that name you called Wolfgang?
Louis the Little Person: Dirty motherfucking piece of shit cock gobbler!
Simon Sparrow: No, the OTHER name you called him.
Louis the Little Person: OH….Aceldama bin Laden.
Simon Sparrow: Right! Acid…Ace llama…What he said….
Simon Sparrow points to Louis the Little Person.
Simon Sparrow: The attack, the anti-Sparrow propaganda, the lies about Mike Best and broken promises. It’s not about broken promises, Wolfie, It’s about hypocrisy and corruption! It’s about doing what’s right for High Octane Wrestling. Unfortunately, for all his faults, Lee Best is a leader than Mike Best. Enough said.
Now onto the moment you have all been waiting for….in reference to the opportunity presented to me by Lee Best with regards to the position of General Manager of HOW…………………
The audience provides a mixed reaction to the news providing slightly more cheers of support for the HOW Hall of Famer.
Joe Hoffman: Simon Sparrow is the new General Manager of High Octane Wrestling!!! It’s official!!!
Simon Sparrow: I signed the paperwork earlier today and had a brief meeting with Mike Best. The first order of business is Max Kael. Last week, you went laser bowling using Mark O’Neal’s pair of “little explosives” as bowling pins. How very 2003 of you. But you know what? That’s fine. What my issue with you is, you BOUGHT yourself the Internet Title! The Internet Title that was retired! You never earned that belt!!! As per my meeting with Mike Best….I cannot force you to give up the title nor can I strip of you of the title. Max Kael, you should know by now that I was the Undefeated Internet and eventually Inter-Translantic or Interlantic Champion. SO…….
My first act as General Manager of High Octane Wrestling is to institute a clause to Max Kael’s “reign” as Internet Champion. Starting TONIGHT Max, the second you lose a match, ANY match…a singles match, a tag team match, a handicap….ANY match….then you lose the Internet Title. It goes back into retirement….FOREVER. If you want to prove you’re better than me, you have to remain undefeated while holding that belt.
Benny Newell: Can he do that???
Joe Hoffman: He’s the General Manager! I guess he can!
Simon Sparrow: My second act as General Manager is to prohibit the sale of any retired HOW championships. The Translantic, the Interlantic, the Stable Title, and the Cross Continental Titles have all been retired and they will REMAIN retired while I am General Manager of the HOW.
And finally, my third act! Wolfgang Bruggemann. You have something that belongs to me. The contract that gives me a guaranteed title shot against any HOW Champion. Do the right thing. You have TWO weeks to return the contract to me with a guarantee that there will be no action taken. No punishments or fines or suspensions. You get a free pass. However, failure to do so will result in my petitioning to strip you of the HOW Championship!!!! At “March of Glory”, instead of having you take on the winner of the Best Invitational….we will have the finals of the Best Invitational to determine the NEW HOW Champion!
Two weeks, Wolfie…do the right thing.
Simon Sparrow drops the microphone as “Everybody Wants You” blares across the arena as Simon Sparrow exits the ring followed by Louis the Little Person.
Benny Newell: HOLY SHIT!!! DID HE JUST SAY WHAT I THINK HE SAID?
Joe Hoffman: Yes he did!!! That’s a HUGE development!
Benny Newell: And Mike Best signed off on that???
Joe Hoffman: It sounds like it!
Benny Newell: I know Mike Best wants to strip Aceldama of something, but NOT the HOW Championship! That’s unpossible!
Joe Hoffman: You mean impossible.
Benny Newell: I’m still sober. Give me a few more drinks and then I’ll speak better.
Joe Hoffman: I don’t know if you‘ve ever been sober, Benny. Anyway, I’m sure we’ll hear from Aceldama and Mike Best about Simon Sparrow’s first several acts as General Manager. We will be right back folks as we gotta pay some bills….Sparrow in control? God help us all…
Defiance’s Leon Booth takes on HOW’s Erites Kallisten next in an Invitational Match
Leon Booth vs. Erites Kallisten
Returning from commercial break Benny and Joe are quick to greet fans once again.
Joe Hoffman: Welcome back to Thursday Night Turmoil, I am Joe Hoffman and this is my partner, Benny Hoffman! If you have missed it, Folks, we have just learned that Simon Sparrow has in fact accepted the position of General Manager of HOW which Lee Best offered him a few weeks ago.
Benny Newell: It’s unbelievable Joe, unbelievable! I’m not even drunk and I’m already starting to doubt the things I hear and see! Simon putting Max on a win or die situation with the Internet Title! Aceldama put on an apologize or lose his title deadline! He’s just taken the position and he is already abusing it! I.. I am not sure if I should be happy or sad!
Joe Hoffman: Whatever it is Benny, it is clear that Simon Sparrow is laying down the law as GM.
The lights dim as Erites Kallisten makes her way out to the ring with a strong crowd reaction. Rolling into the ring the pink haired punk throws her hands into the air as she poses in the corner for the HOW crowd as the cameras flash. Next out is Leon Booth, a representative of Defiance Wrestling. He is greeted with a series of boos from the HOW friendly crowd who support their local WWA Federation. Booth slips into the ring while Matt Boettcher checks both wrestlers for weapons. As both wrestlers are sent to their respective corners, Boettcher signals for the bell.
Joe Hoffman: This is a big night for both Erites and for Leon Booth in regards to the Best Invitational with Erites having the capacity to advance herself into the next elimination round if she can get a win over Booth while has the capacity to be a spoiler here and cost Erites a shot at the next round.
Benny Newell: Speaking of next round..
Benny produces his official HOW Flask and proceeds to pound back a few drinks as the camera switches back to the center of the ring.
Leon Booth ties up with Erites who’s wirey frame allows her to slip out of his clutches and hit a quick school boy!
She sneaks barely a two count as Booth kicks out! Erites skitters back up to her feet before she starts to hit a series of kicks to the side of Booth’s head. Leon manages to deflect a kick and grab Erite’s leg..
Erites’s plants her foot into the side of Leon’s head and sends him to the ground in a dazed pile as she goes for the cover once again..
This time Booth stays down for a two count however he manages to throw his shoulder up well before the three count as Erites is once again to keep up the pressure. Slinging her opponent into the ropes she attempts to hit a closeline only to get countered into a Neckbreaker by Leon! The Defiance wrestler takes to the offensive now with a strong offense focusing on Erites’ upper body.
Both works Erites into the corner where he plunges his shoulder into her abdomen a few times followed by a series of stiff fists across the head while he works the resident HOW crowd with his Defiance loyalties. Dragging Erites into the center of the ring he nails her across the jaw with a seriously powerful European Upper cut which seems to cold clock Erites.
Booth points down at her and pretends to fire a gun, perhaps in homage to his ancestor, John Wilkes Booth, before dropping down for the line fall..
Erites manages to throw her shoulder up which causes Booth to casually climb back up to his feet before he signals for the Southern Hospitality! Erites drags herself to the ropes while being stalked by Booth. As she pulls herself up and turns around Booth cinches her up for a Suplex..
KNEE TO THE GROIN!
The ever dirty Erites hits a low knee to the groin outside of Matt Boettcher’s field of vision! Booth releases the hold and drops to his knees holding his groin. Erites stumbles back, shaking away the fuzziness in her head before winking and blowing a kiss at the stunned Booth..
Erites hits a vicious looking kick to the side of Leon’s head which causes him to crumble to the mat. Erites drops over him for the cover..
WINNER: ERITES KALLISTEN IN 9 MINUTES AND 52 SECONDS!
Joe Hoffman: Erites with a huge win tonight against Defiance Wrestling’s Leon Booth to earn her three points toward her Invitational Division which keeps her alive for another week! Unfortunately for Leon Booth I believe this officially means he has been eliminated from his division however he can still act as a spoiler for other opponents.
Benny Newell: She won again!? Fuck! This is getting re-god-damn-diculous!.. I can’t wait for Lee to get back so he can shut this bitch down and get the Stadium back to having a respectable name..
Joe Hoffman: For the record I prefer the Kallisten Coliseum over The Best Arena..but there is neither here nor there…folks….I just got word that we gotta cut backstage where things are said to be heating up after the big announcement to start the show..
We cut backstage to the office of former? General Manager of HOW Scottywood who is going absolutely crazy. Papers are scattered across the floor, furniture is turned upside down and we see Scottywood with hockey stick in hand hitting his desk, the walls and anything else in sight.
Scottywood: What the fuck! Seriously! Simon can’t take my fuckin’ job! I’m the General Manager of HOW! I’m the one that Lee put in charge! Now that fuckin’ zombie hunting nut case is going to run HOW?
Also in the room…well more so in the corner trying to avoid the wrath of Scotty is Frankie the Cameraman who is trying to calm Scottywood down, though seeing the destruction of the office, hasn’t been too successful.
Frankie: Scotty calm down. I’m sure there is something you can do here. I mean you have a contract, they just can’t terminate it without there being legal rami….ramif….legal problems.
Scottywood: Calm down!?! I’m not going to calm down! I’m going to go find Simon Sparrow and beat the living shit out of him! I am going to cover the hallways of this arena with his fuckin’ blood till there is nothing left of him. This was the worst decision of your career Simon….you finally fucked with the wrong person here in HOW. I rid you from HOW once….and I am going to do it for again. But this time, it will be for good!
The Hardcore Artist makes his way towards the door but before he can reach out for the handle we see Frankie step in between Scotty, trying to stop his friend from doing something that he thinks he would really regret.
Scottywood: Move Frankie….
Frankie: N….n….o! You can’t do that to Simon. He has a family. He has a son, named Anakin of all names.
Scottywood: For the last time Frankie….move out of my way.
You can see the anger in Scotty face, which shakes as he stares at Frankie…. Who has somehow found the nerve to continue to stand in front of Scotty.
Scotty turns away from Frankie who takes a sigh of relief as Scotty suddenly swings back around and cracks Frankie across the head with his barbwire wrapped hockey stick which busts Frankie wide open as he slams up against the door. Before he can even fall to the floor we see Scotty grab Frankie by the throat and starts hammering punches into the head of adopted son.
Joe Hoffman: Folks I apologize for what we are witnessing, but it seems that Scottywood has just snapped backstage….
The punches continue until Frankie’s face is covered in blood as Scotty lifts Frankie up into a Fireman’s carry and in one swift motion spins Frankie’s 137 pound frame in front of him and DDTs him straight down to the floor of his office, the blood immediately starting to soak into the carpet.
Joe Hoffman: Oh God! Game Misconduct!
Scottywood stands up, still raging with anger as he grabs his hockey stick and heads to the door of his office and swings it open with force. Making his way down the hallway we see a man approach Scottywood, he is dressed in a fairly nice looking suit and microphone in hand as he brushes his emo hair style to the side.
Reporter: Hi, I am Jay from HOTv….. What do have to say in response to Simon Sparrow accepting Lee Best’s job off of Gene….
Not even letting the man finish his question we Scotty drill Jay in the head with a hard right hand which drops him to the floor as he takes the barbwire of the hockey stick and drives it over and over into Jay’s head, blood starts pouring out as Scotty lifts him back up to his feet.
Joe Hoffman: Leave him alone Scotty, he’s done nothing!
With him up we see Scottywood wrap his hand around Jay’s throat and lift him up as he chokeslams him straight through a kraft services table as suddenly we see HOW officials and security trying to secure Scottywood who starts throwing a few punches that connect until the numbers overwhelm him and they have The Hardcore Artist restrained.
Scottywood: I’m the General Manager! Let me go! I need to destroy Simon Sparrow!
Official: We have been ordered by General Manager Sparrow to have you escorted from the arena for the night.
Scottywood: I’m the General Manager! Not that fuck!
Official: I’m sorry sir, we have our orders. Don’t make this harder then it has to be.
The officials continue to push Scottywood away from Jay who a HOW medic is attending too. The Hardcore Artist keeps trying to free himself, but the sheer number of officials makes that impossible for him.
Scottywood: I swear I’ll fuckin’ destroy you Jatt!!! You’re a fuckin’ dead man!!!
Joe Hoffman: Well I am glad HOW officials have controlled Scottywood, especially before he could lay a hand on Simon Sparrow, who still has an upcoming match with Kirsta Lewis tonight.
Benny Newell: Did I miss something?
Joe Hoffman: Just the complete break down of Scottywood.
Benny Newell: Really? Well I’ll drink to that. Sorry Scotty!
The cameras follow Scottywood as he is led out of the Kallisten Coliseum by security…..no longer as General Manager…and maybe no longer as an employee of HOW?
Back to ringside, the arena lights suddenly go out as ‘No More Sorrow’ by Linkin Park begins to drown the sound out of the cheers. A blue strobe begins to flicker on the entrance as the guitar solo is finally joined by the sound of drums. A dark figure appears on the stage, grasping a baseball bat he begins to slowly walk down towards the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Am I seeing this right? Is this who I think it is?
Benny Newell: Are you blind? It’s Static, he’s back obviously.
Joe Hoffman: What’s he doing back? The self proclaimed Human Wreckin’ Ball is back in HOW?
Benny Newell: No Shit…DRINK!!!
As Benny takes a drink, Static, who is now clearly visible, continues slowly down towards the ring, receiving a mixed reaction from the fans. Static is dressed wearing his traditional three quarter length baggies and black boots. With his black leather jacket with ‘Static’ imprinted on the back in light blue. Static stands at the edge of the ring for a second, taking in the atmosphere with one deep breath, he rolls his trusty baseball bat into the ring and slides in. Calling for a mic as his music begins to fade out.
Static: “Well then, ladies, gentlemen, children of all ages, idiots sat backstage and all you brain dead fucks watching at home. Static is BACK!!!”
The crowd begin to boo loudly as Static grins, taking it all in. Static paces to the other side of the ring and leans against the ropes, staring into the eyes of the announce team.
Benny Newell: Well nothings changed that’s for sure.
Static: “It’s funny actually, I know I’ve been gone a while and perhaps yes something’s have changed, but obviously I was missed. Thing is, after Lee Best screwed me over, I lost track of myself and I lost control. After I spiralled out of control, I found myself staring into the bottom of an empty glass feeling socially inept. I began brawling with anyone, anywhere. Found myself back inside a cell and locked away from a world I had rejected. Again. Sure everyone hated me but I didn’t care anymore, but things took a turn, I realised I liked doing what I was doing and so after eight months locked away from society with plenty of time to ponder, to decide on a way to exact my revenge. Then it hit me like Benny Newell hits the bottle.”
Benny Newell: Is he just going to bore us all or does he have a reason for being out here?
Joe Hoffman: Well he’s made a good point already
Benny Newell: I will hit you
Static: “It’s probably true I will never forgive what Lee Best done to me. For turning on me and setting me up. I was jumped by that heroin addicted steroid freak shocker, and to top it off Scottywood stole my LSD title. What you didn’t see was Shocker leaving me half dead, on a curb some 60 miles outside of Chicago. So now the time comes for me to have my revenge. Eventually I will catch up with everyone who fucked me over but first things first, I have a serious point to make.”
Benny Newell: Finally
Static: “Am I seriously right in what I am seeing here in High Octane? Dawn McGill as LSD Champion, I mean come on. What the hells happened to this world? For starters, I could have sworn David ‘I Hate Myself’ Black was LSD chump. But no, I was wrong, and then I found out some cry baby named Timmy was holding the belt, but supposedly he got beat by this woman, this butch ex army ranger DYKE!!”
The crowd begin to boo loudly as Joe Hoffman states how inappropriate Static was. Static just smirks as he laughs to himself. Static picks up his baseball bat, pointing at random people in the crowd and insulting them. Static paces over the ring, leaning on the rope pointing at Benny Newell with his baseball bat.
Static: “I mean seriously, she’s more buff than Mr. Newell here and that’s saying something but back to the point. Dawn McGill is a woman, she didn’t make it in the army, she’s got an injury to her knee that makes her cry more than Ryan Faze when he’s on his period, and when I asked about her, what did I find out? She’s not even a real pro, she’s a goddamn valet. She escorts, like a common street whore. Although I doubt anyone would pay to spend a second with her.
So to my point, Dawn, I’m sorry but you can’t compete in the big leagues of HOW, you’re a nobody, your nothing and you certainly don’t deserve the LSD title. I’ve spilt blood for that title, I’ve shed blood for that title. The LSD title deserves honour, its known for being an extreme title, it’s known for its outrageousness and you bring nothing but dishonour to that title. So I make it plain and simple for you, I make it clear to everyone who’s listening. My first order of business back in HOW, is to remove the LSD title from your waist. With as much force as required and place it rightfully where it belongs. Around…..My…..Waist.”
Static just drops the mic, laughing as ‘No More Sorrow’ by Linkin Park begins to echo throughout the PA as Static drops and rolls out of the ring, the crowd boo loudly but static just grins, knowing his point has been made. Static makes his way back to the locker rooms, Benny Newell and Joe Hoffman discussing the possibilities of Statics in ring return as Turmoil cuts to commercial.
Ask Ryan Faze for anything stronger
Back live and we cut to the locker room of Alpha Beta Slam, where Griffin Faze is sitting on a bench in his ring gear. The crowd pops upon seeing him, showing their appreciation for his efforts last week in nearly defeating Aceldama for the High Octane Championship. Still, their support is not enough for the rookie to shed from his face expressions of agony and torture.
The camera focuses on him for several moments as he tapes his wrists. Suddenly, it begins panning out to slowly reveal Ryan Faze – panting and profuse with sweat – in the midst of a workout on a jump rope. Much like boxers do, Ryan maintains a rapid pace in the exercise before stopping abruptly to check on his brother.
Ryan Faze: Come on, what’s eatin’ at you man? You’ve been actin’ strange all night.
Griffin says nothing. He doesn’t even acknowledge his brother; his eyes refusing so much as to blink or shift away from his focus on the tape-job. All the while, Ryan struggles to catch his breath.
Ryan Faze: Yo Griff…
Ryan says between breaths.
Ryan Faze: Earth to Griffin Faze!
Still nothing. Puzzled, the “Phenomenal One” can’t figure out if his brother’s ignorance is deliberate or unintentional. Ryan takes a seat on the steel folding chair next to his brother and nudges him, but Griffin’s response is an indication that he was listening all along.
Griffin Faze: Do you mind?!? I’ve got a match to prepare for.
Caught off-guard by Griffin’s attitude, Ryan is a confused by the context of his statement.
Ryan Faze: You mean… we’ve got a match to prepare for.
Griffin Faze: I think you heard me right the first time, Ryan. I’m sorry… a tad confused, are we? Well let me fill you in before you go all comatose on me again, brother…
Griffin stands to his feet, towering over his identical twin brother in a condescending manner causing to Ryan lean away.
Griffin Faze: I mean, did you really think I’d let you go out there with me tonight and wrestle? In the condition you’re in? Please, Ryan. I’d be stupid to jeopardize my chances in the Best Invitational like that. If I lose tonight, I’m done in the tournament and I can’t have you as a liability out there when my potential rematch against Aceldama is at stake. You already fucked things up for me once when the gold was on the line and I’m sure as hell not going to let you fuck it up for me again when I’m trying to earn a rematch!
Ryan Faze: Whoa, whoa, whoa… calm down there, brother. We can talk this out. I thought-
Griffin Faze: See, that’s where you’re mistaken! I’ve been doing plenty of thinking of my own these 2 weeks while you laid there like a defenseless pussy in your hospital bed.
Ryan Faze: But-
Griffin Faze: Shut up! I’m not gonna sit around and put my life on hold anymore because of you. I’ve made dozens of sacrifices… took care of you like a fucking baby because you’re too God-damn irresponsible to get your shit straight! I mean, to O.D. on Vicodin?!? You’re lucky I got home when I did that night or your ass would be dead right now! DEAD! Do you realize how serious that shit is?
Ryan Faze: Griff, I know I fucked up… but my knee-
Griffin Faze: Your knee?!? You killed an entire bottle of V’s, Ry! All it takes is 1 pill, then 2, then 5… until your body becomes so dependent on the stuff, you don’t even realize how much of it you’re taking! Bottom line, you have a problem! Hear me when I tell you Ryan that you need help.
Ryan Faze: I know I do… and after tonight-
Griffin Faze: Ryan, there’s not going to be any tonight for you. Hell, there might not even be a tomorrow, because until you get that help, you’re not even going to come near a HOW ring, much less step foot into the Kallisten Coliseum.
Ryan Faze: What?!? What are you talking about?
KNOCK ~ KNOCK ~ KNOCK
Griffin Faze: Ah… come in! Right on time…
As the door to their locker room opens, two heavily built security guards barge in, each grabbing Ryan by the arm.
Ryan Faze: Hey! What the-
He initially puts up a struggle, flailing his body and kicking his legs to break free, but their strength proves to be too much for the “Phenomenal One”.
Griffin Faze: It pains me to do this to ya, brother. It really does… but you’ve left me no other choice. See, there’s a transport waiting for you out back, waiting to take you the Chicago Rapid Detox Center where you’ll undergo a comfortable and clinically sound procedure that will completely detoxify you of any narcotics in your system in 4 to 5 hours. Now I know what you’re thinking… but Dr. Charles assured me that the procedure itself is completely safe and even is anesthesia-based so you won’t feel a thing. You’ll undergo some treatments afterward as well, but it’s all for the same purpose… to get you clean.
Still trying to escape their grasp, Ryan pleads with his brother.
Ryan Faze: Have you lost your fucking mind? Are you trying to kill me?!?
Griffin Faze: No! I’m doing just the opposite, as a matter of fact. You’re too young to walk the tightrope of life, Ryan. The next time you do so and fall, there might not be another chance to get back up, so I’m doing something about it…
Ryan Faze: But our match! The Brothers of the Beast… you need me out there!
Griffin Faze: Oh, don’t worry about me… Midnight and I will be going 1-on-1 tonight. And better yet, you’ll even be ready in time for Caged Hell. Trust me, it’ll be helpful to have your mind and body clear when you get some revenge for us on that thug from AW… but, if you’ll excuse me? My match is starting shortly and you have a ride to catch. Gentlemen…
The security guards take that as their cue and whisk Ryan off out of the locker room. Griffin follows them out the door, but stops there, watching as Ryan shouts cries of persuasion and desperation in his direction. As they disappear behind a corner, Griffin turns back to his locker room, his face expressionless and lost; empty almost as a tear barely begins to form in the corner of his eye. But Griffin remains firm and shrugs it off with a look of focus and determination that rivaled his of last week.
Up next is Defiance’s Justin Brooks taking on HOW’s Ethan Cavanaugh in an Invitational Match
Ethan Cavanaugh vs. Justin Brooks
The station flashes to an over view of the Kallisten Coliseum crowd who cheer loudly as we return from Commercial Break. Once again we are taken to hall of famers Joe Hoffman and Benny Newell. It is clear that Benny is started to get drunk as he seems to be staring off into space..
Joe Hoffman: Welcome back folks, up next we have our second Invitational bout of the evening with Ethan Cavanaugh against Justin Brooks. Is it just me or does Ethan Cavanaugh seem particularly driven since his return to HOW Benny?
Benny Newell:.. Wha? Huh?
Joe Hoffman: Have you been paying attention Benny!? We are back on the air for God’s sake..
Benny Newell: We are!? Shit! These Vicodin are more powerful then I thought! Mixed with alcohol it’s even better..
Joe Hoffman: Benny that cannot be safe!
Benny Newell: No.. but neither is getting a blow job from a lady named Dave while driven 120 miles down the high way in the middle of the night. But I’ve done that before.
The disturbing conversation is interrupted as the visiting Justin Brooks can be seen making his way down to the ring. The crowd offers a mixed reaction however as a purely home town crowd they are not particularly warm toward the outsider. Next out is Ethan Cavanaugh who is more warmly received simply because he is a HOW wrestler in HOW territory though it is luke warm at best given his actions over the past week.
As both men are checked by Hortega the crowd settles down and prepares for the match. Hortega signals for the bell and Ethan comes charging out at Brooks who is ill prepared and fines himself getting speared to the ground!
Ethan viciously drags Brooks up to his feet who still appears shocked at the suddenness of the attack..
Ethan drives Brooks head into the ground causing the body to go limp. Ethan hooks the leg..
WINNER: ETHAN CAVANAUGH IN 12 SECONDS!!
Joe Hoffman: Cavanaugh manages to keep himself alive in this tournament by scoring a pin fall and gaining three points in his division! He is not going to be an easy push but he still has a chance to advance into the next round depending on how his fellow Invitationalist do!
Benny Newell: Wait what? It’s over?! Did I stroke out there for a moment? How long was the match!?!
Joe Hoffman: 12 seconds, Benny, weren’t you watching!?
Benny Newell: Apparently not! Thank goodness.. that’s 12 seconds I probably would have never gotten back anyway.
HOFC: High Octane Fucking Cuckoo
An American flag is shown flowing in the wind against a clear blue sky. The American national anthem begins to play…
A woman begins to sing: “O say, can you see…”
A record scratch is heard as Fort Minor’s “Remember the Name” plays.
The crowd erupts into cheers as Christopher America’s theme music plays.
Joe Hoffman: Well, folks, he did it. Christopher America unseated Michael DeNucci as the HOFC Champion in a spectacular five round match.
Benny Newell: Well, where the fuck is he?
Joe Hoffman: I don’t know.
Joe begins flipping through papers.
Joe Hoffman: He is scheduled to appear at this time.
Benny Newell: Probably too scared to show his face after DeNucci messed it up. Heard he got a shiner and a broken nose.
Joe Hoffman: I’m actually being told Christopher America is in… the boiler room?
The camera cuts backstage and a cameraman enters the boiler room. It is dark and dank with the rumble of the boiler drowning out the silence.
In a small corner, barely visible through the light, a shadow is moving forward and backward ever so slightly. The cameraman moves forward, allowing his camera light to illuminate to slowly reveal Christopher America, grasping the HOFC Championship for dear life.
Christopher America: My beautiful championship. I told them that I would win. But now, they’re after us. Come away with me. We can leave this life forever and we’ll escape to an unknown area of America. They won’t find us, I promise.
Lee Best and Simon Sparrow can do what they wish. We’ll never be apart.
You see, I have been told that, amazingly enough, Michael DeNucci wants to get his rematch for you at HOFC 2. Undoubtedly, Lee Best, who seems to have an infinite supply of quarters for the prison pay phone, was unhappy with the result and demanded DeNucci get his rematch.
Is there a reason the police have not frozen the assets of Lee Best or did he smuggle a roll of quarters up his butt when he came into prison, shit them out, and then rummaged through his own shit to retrieve them all?
Benny Newell: Jesus Christ. Look at this fucker. How did he beat DeNucci?
Joe Hoffman: Hush!
Christopher America: Did I ever tell you the story of the time I rescued you from a nasty man named Michael DeNucci?
I haven’t? Well, let me tell you what I had to go through.
Christopher begins to rock and recant the story as the screen fades to black.
Make sure to listen to last nights HOR as we learned absolutely nothing important!!
Jekyll and Hyde Much?
As we come back from commercials we join Missy Andrews who is walking backstage with a cameraman in tow. She turns a corner and comes upon the unusual scene of David Black sitting at a small table with several playing cards in his hands. There are more cards placed all over the table in front of him and he seems to be carefully placing the cards one at a time. Missy slowly approaches the former LSD Champion.
Missy Andrews: Excuse me, David?
There is no reaction from David, who seems to be deeply occupied by whatever he is doing with the cards. Which may also explain why he is still dressed in street clothes instead of his wrestling attire.
Missy Andrews: David?
She cautiously places her right hand on his shoulder to get his attention. David slowly turns his head and looks at Missy.
David Black: What?
Missy Andrews: I was hoping to ask you a few questions about your match tonight.
David Black: Can’t it wait? I’m really rather busy.
Missy Andrews: Yes, I can see that. What are you doing exactly?
David Black: Isn’t it obvious?
Missy Andrews: Well–
David Black: Why do you ask? Does this look…you know, weird?
A look of panic spreads across his face.
Missy Andrews: No, no! Not weird, just…odd maybe?
David Black: Odd?
David looks at the cards in his hand and then back at Missy.
Missy Andrews: It is just that you have a big match coming up tonight and you are back here playing cards.
David Black: Playing cards? I’m not just playing cards!
Missy Andrews: You’re not?
David Black: NO!
He yells, clearly outraged.
David Black: I am practicing playing my cards right.
Despite David using a very matter of fact tone of voice, Missy still looks confused.
David Black: Huh? Oh! Because on my way to the building I met this woman, lovely lass really…pretty but with sort of a “I’ll let you do anything to my hot little–”
David cracks a smile as Missy looks somewhat appalled.
David Black: Well, long story short, she told me that if I played my cards right, I just might get lucky. So here I am, playing my cards and hoping for a little luck.
He nods his head, fully convinced that he has explained things to everybody’s satisfaction. Missy just shakes her head.
Missy Andrews: Okay then…any comments about your match tonight?
David Black: My match?
Missy Andrews: Tonight’s main event? Against MPlow?
David suddenly breaks out in song.
David Black: Mister Plow, that’s my name, that name again is Mister Plow!
David stops singing again and instead starts laughing, as Missy now looks completely lost.
David Black: Well…Mike Best need not worry about the ratings tonight, because tonight I’m gonna give him, Mister Plow, High Octane Wrestling, the fans in attendance and everyone else who will be watching the show, something they have never seen before. It will be a first and it will truly be groundbreaking.
Missy Andrews: Sounds interesting, what are you planning to do?
She asks, with excitement in her voice. An eerie grin appears on David’s face.
David Black: Tonight, live from the Kali–
He takes a deep breath and tries again.
David Black: Live from the Kallili–
He makes a fist with his right hand and bites one of the knuckles in frustration.
David Black: Live from this building, okay???
David gives Missy an angry look. He then closes his eyes to calm himself down again and he then reopens his eyes.
David Black: As I was saying. Tonight, live on Turmoil…High Octane Wrestling is proud to present, for the first time EVER! The live eviscerating of one Mike Plow.
The look on his face is deadly serious as he stares into the camera. Suddenly his demeanor changes and becomes much more calm and relaxed as he looks at Missy again.
David Black: Now if you will excuse me, love, I really must get back to this.
David turns his attention back to the cards on the table and Missy Andrews looks on in confusion as the cameras cut away.
Alpha Beta Slam vs. Brothers of the Beast
Tag Team Match
Joe Hoffman: We are back and ready for what was suppose to be a tag team match between the Brothers of the Beast and Alpha Beta Slam, but due to the events of this past week, it seems this has turned into a singles match between Griffin Faze and Jason Midnight.
Benny Newell: Yawn….The only thing that makes this match interesting is that if the frat boys win then Twisted Reality will officially win their division and move on to the knockout stage of the tournament.
Joe Hoffman: And if Brother of the Beast lose then they are out, done, gone from this tournament, so a lot is on the line here.
“Phase” by Breaking Benjamin starts to play as the crowd erupts in cheers as we see the man that almost became High Octane Champion last week Griffin Faze make his way out to the ring.
Bryan McVay: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Now making his way to the ring representing Alpha Beta Slam…. Griffin Faze!!!
”Through the Fire and the Flames” by Dragonforce cuts in as we see just one of the three Brothers of the Beast Jason Midnight make his way out onto the stage.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent… representing the Brother of the Beast…. Jason Midnight!!!
Joe Hoffman: Griffin versus Midnight here tonight. Odd how this turned into a one on one match Benny.
Benny Newell: It’s odd how anyone could care less about this match. The crippled Faze’s against the other Brothers who can’t even get along…. THRILLING tv…. DRINK!
Benny throws back a drink as Midnight enters the ring and referee Boettcher calls for the bell to get this Invitational match under way.
Midnight starts off strong as he gets control of the grapple and throws Griffin to the floor, he gets back up and gets clotheslined by Midnight and then decked by a big boot. It seems that the time spent in the hospital with Ryan has taken a small toll on Griffin’s preparedness. Midnight has Griffin and sets him up for a powerbomb but as Griffin is up on Jason’s shoulder he starts countering with a fury of punches which drops the big man to the floor hard as Griffin sits on his chest and hooks the leg for a pin attempt.
Joe Hoffman: Shoulder up by Midnight who quickly almost got caught by Griffin.
Benny Newell: I was gonna drink every time I was bored…. But even I would have to get my stomach pumped halfway through this match.
Griffin and Midnight continue going back and forth trading punches and each hitting a couple of mid impact moves as they try and wear each other down. Midnight eventually gets Griffin in the corner and uses his size to work Griffin over as he starts to choke him out with his boot as referee Boettcher tries to get him out of the corner. Midnight lets go of the choke and then clotheslines Griffin in the corner, which drops him to the floor.
Joe Hoffman: The size advantage that Midnight has may just be too much for the rookie Griffin.
Midnight brings Griffin out of the corner and lifts Griffin onto his shoulders for a fireman’s carry and attempts to go for his finisher the Final Toll but Griffin works his way off the shoulders of Midnight and drives his boot into a surprised Midnight’s stomach and hits a Fazebuster on Midnight as he goes for the pin attempt again.
Joe Hoffman: Again Midnight saves himself and BOTB from being eliminated from the tournament.
Benny Newell: BOYB?
Joe Hoffman: No, BOTB, Brothers of the Beast.
Benny Newell: Oh, good, cause BOYB blows.
Griffin pulls the big man Midnight back to his feet and exchanges some more shots as Griffin gains the advantage and goes for a Fazeplant but Midnight blocks it and as Griffin turns around he gets The Monster Boot to the face and almost turns the Faze brother inside out.
Joe Hoffman: What a shot, Midnight going for the cover to end this!
Midnight can’t believe that he didn’t get the three count as he pounds his fists on the mat and pulls Griffin up to his feet and for a second time lifts Griffin up onto his shoulders for a fireman’s carry as he signals for the Final Toll.
Joe Hoffman: No question here, if he hits this then the match is over.
Benny Newell: Hit the move already then!
Midnight goes for the Final Toll but again Griffin is able to slip out of it and drive a knee into the face of Midnight as he sets him up and hits the Fazeplant on Midnight in the middle of the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Final Toll reversed and Fazeplant hit!
Griffin rolls Midnight over and hooks the leg as Boettcher slides in for another pin attempt.
Joe Hoffman: That is it!
The bell rings as an exhausted Griffin Faze rolls off Midnight as Boettcher raises hisa rm in victory.
Bryan McVay: The winner of this Invitational match….Alpha Beta Slam!!!!
Joe Hoffman: With that ABS scores 3 points and is now tied with the Maurakos with 2 points. Brothers of the Beast now drop to negative 2 points and baring any major issues, are eliminated from the tournament.
Benny Newell: And with that win by Griffin, Twisted Reality has clinched the division and a spot in the knockout round of the tournament, regardless of the outcome of their last match.
Joe Hoffman: That is IF Scottywood still has a job here in HOW after that “little” blow-up he had earlier tonight.
Benny Newell: Of course he still has a job, and as far as I am concerned is still General Manager of HOW.
Joe Hoffman: Well we are gonna head to a commercial break, and when we return we have Graystone saying goodbye to HOW.
A Better Agreement
The scene cuts into the Office of Mike Best where he is seated behind his talking to someone on the phone. Just then the door flings open and in walks Mario Maurako all by himself.
Mike Best: I’m going to have to call you back.
Mario walks up to the desk and places his hands on the desk, he leans over and puts all his weight on the desk.
Mike Best: Is there something I can do for you Mario?
Mario Maurako: I have some urgent business that I need to discuss with you Mike.
Mike Best sighs as he leans back in his chair willing to listen to the demands by the youngest son of Matteo.
Mario Maurako: We’ve had our differences in the past Mike but I think we are both going to see eye to eye on this one.
Mike Best: No, you’re not getting another shot at Twisted Reality and the Tag Team Titles.
Mario Maurako: What? That’s not why I’m here at all. I’m here to talk about Bobbinette Carey.
Mike Best: Ok shoot.
Mario Maurako: Well Bobbinette Carey’s medical bills have started coming in… and they’re through the roof big man.
Mike Best: Yeah I can imagine.
Mario Maurako: Not to mention as Wrestlers here in HOW we don’t get medical insurance, and thus nobody in the country wants to insure us due to our profession. So she’s left to attempt to cover these crazy medical bills by herself.
Mike Best: So where do I fit in the picture?
Mario Maurako: Well I wanted to talk to you about hosting a Telethon for Bobbinette Carey. It can last all week long and conclude on Turmoil as the grand finale, and in an attempt to make that final push. I think you owe it to her as a Hall of Fame wrestler of this company. What do you say?
Mike Best: Mario, I don’t know exactly what you’re trying to pull here. I’ve been watching your antics with Bobbinette over the past several weeks. Let me just say that I haven’t figured out what you’re up to yet… but I have my eye on you Mario.
Mario Maurako: The Telethon Mike, what about the Telethon?
Mike Best: Fine set it up for next week. I don’t want anything else to do with it though. You’re in charge of the Telethon, I don’t want to be blamed for anything when you screw Bobbinette Carey over.
Mario Maurako: Mike, trust me. I’m doing this for Bobbinette Carey… no other reason.
Mario and Mike Best shake hands and Mario exit’s the room. As he is exiting he bumps into his Father Matteo who is on his way into the office. Mario looks at Matteo confused but then hurry’s off to go find Bobbinette. Matteo walks in with his crown firmly planted on his head and mini Maurako Island Flag in his right hand. Matteo approaches the desk and Mike Best cuts him off.
Mike Best: What do you want? I already gave you guys air time next Thursday for your Telethon.
Matteo Maurako: Telethon? What are you talking about?
Mike Best: The Telethon for Bobbinette Carey? Didn’t you know about that?
Matteo Maurako: No, I’m here to discuss the Tag Team Titles.
Mike Best sighs and places his right hand on his forehead and then rubs his forehead and then his eyes.
Mike Best: Matteo, you guys just had a shot last week at Twisted Reality.
Matteo Maurako: They got lucky and you know it. You give us one more chance and I will guarantee that The Family will walk away with the HOW Tag Team Titles.
Mike Best: But we’ve already seen The Maurako Family vs. Twisted Reality, I don’t think that the fans really want to see it anymore. You’re going to have to make a big sacrifice on your end to get this match.
There is a moment of silence as Matteo grits his teeth and stares deep into the eyes of Mike Best. Mike Best looks at the ground and then back up at Matteo.
Matteo Maurako: You’re out of your god forsaken mind Best if you think for one moment that I’m going to do that.
Mike Best: What? I just want you to get on you knees.
Matteo Maurako: Yeah, and then what?
Mike Best: I think you know what.
Matteo Maurako: I will not!
Mike Best: Well if you won’t get on your knees and ask nicely I don’t know if I can grant you a title shot.
Matteo Maurako has grown extremely upset and at this point begins to yell at Mike Best.
Matteo Maurako: Listen here Best! You’re going to grant us this Title shot because if we don’t win it will be the last time we get a Tag Team Title shot!
Mike Best stands up from his desk and walks up to Matteo.
Mike Best: Matteo, you drive a hard bargain. I’ll grant you your Tag Title Shot, but under one condition.
Matteo Maurako: I’m not getting on my knees Best!
Mike Best: Oh you’ll get on your knees. You’re going to get on your knees as you beg for pledges next week in Mario’s Telethon for Bobbinette Carey.
Matteo Maurako: Huh?
Mike Best: The only way you get the Title Shot is if The Maurako Family raises “One Million” Dollars in the Telethon for Bobbinette Carey, and that’s my final decision.
Matteo Maurako: A Million Dollars!?1? That’s crazy.
Mike Best: That’s the offer Maurako.
Matteo Maurako: Fine!
Matteo Maurako storms out of Mike’s Office slamming the door. The scene fades on Mike Best’s smiling face.
The last three visitors to visit Lee in jail this week
Returning from commercial break we find Jason Midnight still in the ring after his match, now joined by his tag team partners. Jacob and Jason stand face to face each holding a microphone while Tyson circles them quietly.
Joe Hoffman: Midnight, obviously upset from his loss has literally been pacing around the ring for the last several minutes and has refused to leave…..ok…wait…he has a mic now….
Jason Midnight: Ladies and gentlemen, I’m STILL out here for two reasons…. First!
Jason holds up one finger to the crowd and then points up the entrance ramp.
Jason Midnight: Mike Best! Next week the Brothers of the Beast are set to face Twisted Reality! And I have one thing to ask of you! I want the title shot the Brothers earned at Iconic! The match that the Maurako Family brought themselves into! I want the one on one match-up that I earned. And second!
Jason holds a second finger and jabs both of them towards Jacob.
Jason Midnight: I want us to put aside our differences and beat the holy hell out of Mr. Cool and Scottywood. What do you say….?
Extending a hand towards Jacob for a shake, Jason waits expectantly. But Jacob doesn’t shake the offered hand right away. Instead he lifts his own microphone to his lips to speak.
Jacob Morgan: You know, Jason, I want to be tag team champions just as much as you. And we owe it to Mr. Mephisto to show the world what his students can do. So, yeah, next week… I’ll help you destroy Twisted Reality.
As Jacob extended his own hand towards Jason’s the moment was ruined by the sudden crack of a bottle of scotch directly over the back of Jason’s head. The big man toppled like a bag of potatoes, covered in scotch and his own blood. Jacob looked on in shock for a moment before he was met with a first wrapped in a steel chain straight to his jaw. Leaving Tyson Ross standing in the center of the ring with the broken bottle in one hand and holding up his chain-wrapped fist to the air to a chorus of boos from the fans. Dropping the broken bottle, he plucks the microphone from Jason’s hand and lifted it to his own lips.
Tyson Ross: Hey. Mikey. Yeah, about that title shot.. I don’t care much about that. But I’ve got a demand of my own. Next week, I want the match to be contested under hardcore rules.
Tyson crouched down beside Jason’s fallen frame and spoke as if he hadn’t just knocked the man out.
Tyson Ross: Jason… Jacob… The Brothers of the Beast have been overlooked since we got to HOW. And next week, I’ll show Scottywood and Mr. Cool what it means to be truly twisted. I don’t care which one of you joins me out there. You two have overlooked me for too long and next week I’ll show you, these fans, and everyone in the locker room that I am not one to be overlooked! Invitational or no invitational.. I am going to be the one to take that Championship belt from Aceldama!
With that Tyson drops the microphone and exits the ring, leaving the Jacob and Jason still out cold on the mat.
Benny Newell: Big strong words from a group that is filled with losers….each and every single one of those brothers….L-O-S-E-R-S…and they demand a title shot? Come the fuck on…..even that dick breath Mike Best wouldn’t do that and we KNOW Simon Sparrow has more sense than to do that…
Joe Hoffman: We will find out wont we…Mr. Negativity…..well folks we gotta take another quick break but when we return it will be HOW Hall of Famer Graystone’s possible final match……don’t turn that channel!!
Check out the new sponsor of HOW and the HOR Thursdays on SpikeTV with replays coming to HOTv
Cobra vs. Graystone
Back at ringside and the HOV comes to life with a Hall of Fame graphic and look back at the great career of Graystone. It begins with his great Cross Continental title reign and ends with his now famous feud with Shane Reynolds and Max Kael. The final image is of Graystone lying in a pool of his own blood last week on Turmoil.
As the HOV goes black the crowd inside the arena give Graystone a standing ovation.
Joe Hoffman: What a great show of respect for a man that many of these people hated only a short time ago.
Benny Newell: These fans are fucking idiots and will do anything we tell them to….I mean seriously…they are fucking zombies.
Joe Hoffman: Don’t say that too loud…I don’t think our new GM would like to hear you saying we have over ten thousand zombies in the house tonight.
Benny Newell: Good point…now where the fuck is that uncle fucker?
The cameras continue to focus on the entrance ramp where Graystone has yet to appear.
Benny Newell: OH SHIT!!!!
The fans in attendance all gasp as one as they see what Benny just reacted to…
Graystone literally being thrown from the back and landing at the top of the entrance ramp, covered in blood and knocked out.
Joe Hoffman: NOT AGAIN!!!!
Then the crowd erupts into a hate filled response to the man responsible for the attack….
Cobra makes his way out and kicks Graystone hard in the gut but the only sound that escapes the HOW Hall of Famer is air being forced out of his lungs as he is unconscious and has no idea what is going on.
Cobra grabs Graystone by the hair and begins dragging him down to the ring as the fans give the Defiance superstar hell for what he has done to their Hall of Famer.
Finally reaching the ring, Cobra picks up the former World Champion and rolls him into the ring and follows suit, literally slithering across the ring and smiling up at all the fans who are making the Coliseum shake with their boos.
Joe Hoffman: Where is the HOW locker room?? Somebody help Graystone!!
Benny Newell: Who the fuck would help him after all that he’s done??
Suddenly Matt Boettcher runs down the ramp and slides into the ring and quickly sidesteps Cobra and signals for the bell and Cobra face palms Graystone, smearing the man’s blood across his face as Boettcher makes the count..
Joe Hoffman: Well there ya go folks…Cobra gets the win….this match was not even supposed to happen!! This was supposed to be a celebration of the career of Graystone!!
Benny Newell: Obviously that trouser snake didn’t get the memo….I bet Mike Best drools when he sees Cobra walk by…
Joe Hoffman: Can you be serious for a moment?? A Defiance superstar just destroyed a HOW Hall of Famer and all you can do is make jokes?
Benny Newell: Gray had it coming….besides….we are destroying the rest of their roster…let their pet snake get a few moments of glory…what’s the big deal?
Joe can only shake his head as inside the ring Cobra has just driven the dead weight of a body that is Graystone down to the canvas with his running tigerbomb finisher….The Snakebite.
The crowd continues to boo as Cobra is on his stomach staring into the lifeless eyes of Graystone as we head to the back.
Epic Setup….for Turmoil
The cameras go to the back where Mario Maurako & Bobbinette Carey are walking down a hallway.
Mario Maurako: So next week on Turmoil I’ll be hosting a Telethon where we can hopefully raise enough money to cover your medical bills.
Bobbinette Carey is excited and jumps up and gives Mario a big hug stopping him in his tracks.
Bobbinette Carey: Oh thanks Mario. You’re such a Marvelous boyfriend.
Carey goes to give Mario a kiss on the lips and Mario turns his head receiving the kiss on his cheek instead. The duo continues to walk down the hallway where they meet up with Matteo, Martino and Mosé.
Matteo Maurako: Hey Mario, Mike Best told me about the Telethon next week.
Mario Maurako: Oh yeah? Say, what were you doing today talking to Mike?
Matteo Maurako: I was setting up another Tag Team Title Shot for us.
Bobbinette Carey: Or really!? That would be Marvelous!
Mario Maurako: Yes it would… but Mike Best told me that he wasn’t granting us a Tag Title Shot.
Martino Maurako: Well Dad had to pull a few strings but The King of Maurako Island was able to deliver again.
Mosé Maurako: Yeah but so far nobody has informed me as to what the catch is.
Matteo Maurako: All we have to do is bring in One Million dollars during the telethon next week and we will get our Tag Title match.
Mario Maurako: That’s it?
Matteo Maurako: That’s it? You make it sound like that will be easy.
Mario Maurako: No, I was asking if that was all we had to do.
Matteo Maurako: Well there’s another small stipulation too.
Martino Maurako: You didn’t say anything about another stipulation.
Matteo Maurako: Well I wanted us all to be together before I told you guys.
Mario Maurako: Well what is it?
Matteo Maurako: If we lose to Twisted Reality in that Tag Team Match, which we won’t may I add, then we will not be able to fight for the Tag Team Titles again.
The family becomes irate upon hearing the stipulation that Matteo has agreed to without their consent.
Mario Maurako: Are you freaking crazy?
Mosé Maurako: You could essentially break up The Family if we lose.
Matteo Maurako: Guys guys… let’s settle down. We’re talking about Twisted Reality here. We’re not talking about the Greatest Tag Team known to man.
Martino Maurako: This is true.
Matteo Maurako: I have the utmost confidence that you guys can and will beat them when the time is right.
Mario Maurako: I just can’t believe you went ahead and did that without talking to us Dad. I-I-I can’t even be around you right now. I feel like I could knock your dentures down your throat.
Matteo Maurako: But I don’t have dentures.
Mario Maurako and Bobbinette Carey begin to walk away and as they approach the corner they run right into Amanda Maurako. Amanda & Mario Maurako stand face to face staring at each other while Bobbinette Carey looks on. After a moment and absolutely no spoken words Mario reaches out and grabs Amanda by the back of her hair as she screams in shock. Quickly the rest of the Maurako Family run over.
Martino Maurako: Let her go Mario or we’ll all get fired.
Mario pauses and looks at Martino and then slowly begins to let go of Amanda’s hair. Amanda stands up straight up and begins gathering her composure.
Mario Maurako: You’re right Martino.
Bobbinette Carey: But I’m not Family yet!
Carey spears Amanda to the ground and starts beating the back of Amanda’s head against the concrete floor. Mosé takes a step forward as if he is going to help his mom but Martino places his hand in the middle of Mosé’s chest. Bobbinette Carey begins screaming at Amanda as she continues to beat the hell out of her with huge lefts & rights as they lay on the ground.
Bobbinette Carey: Don’t you ever look at my man like that again bitch. I’ll cut you!
Bobbinette Carey pulls out a switchblade and The Maurako Family swarm in and pull Bobbinette Carey away from Amanda. A look of satisfied smile appears on Mario’s Face and he motions that they all should move on. The Family begins to leave the scene except for Mosé. Mosé bends down to his mother’s unconscious body and places his hand on her hip. He then reaches into her pocket and pulls out a post card-like piece of paper. The Post card reads….
What: Alpha Beta Slam’s Next Bash
When: February 4th, 2010
Where: Alpha Beta Frat House
The scene fades.
A Champion reflects..
The HOV comes to a life and a video begins to play….
The sun rose high over the afternoon Texas sky with a slight breeze causing some sway in the tree branches overlooking the Killeen (Texas) City Cemetary.
A black 2010 Chevy Impala drove into the cemetary and made its way around the winding stone lane. The car soon stopped and Dawn McGill exited the vehicle. Her paramilitary guard, a gift from her fiancee Generalissimo Tomas of Puerto De Macoris, also began to exit the car but Dawn waved them back. With the LSD Title slung over her shoulder and her black overcoat flapping ever so slightly in the wind, she walked over to a headstone with ‘McGill’ on the back of it.
Dawn knelt down at the front of the stone that read “Colonel Richard McGill 1948-2002 Sandra Marie McGill 1950-2002.’ She didn’t say a word but just looked down at the headstone adorned in military decorations put up by the local VFW.
It had been roughly just over twelve hours since Dawn had won the LSD title in Chicago. The next morning, she caught an early flight to Austin, TX. From there, she rented a car and drove north about twenty miles on I-35 before heading west on US 190 to Killeen.
Dawn wiped a solitary tear from her eye and then looked up to the sky.
After a few minutes, she stood up. Dawn took one last look at the twin graves and then slowly made her way back to her car.
The video ends with a parting image of the LSD Championship faded into the two tombstones…
Will WMW continue to defeat HOW in ratings?
Kirsta Lewis vs. Simon Sparrow
Following the commerical break we return to the Kallisten Coliseum where Benny and Joe are quick to greet the fans once again.
Benny Newell: FOLKS! I.. want to be the first to greet you back for once..
Joe Hoffman: Take it easy Benny.. you’ve had a lot to drink mixed with Vicodin..
Benny Newell: I am fine! Ok.. folks? Up next is the new GM of HOW, the Hall of Famer Jat-..er.. Simon Sparrow verses Kirsta Lewis as these two battle to see who is going to be at the head of their Invitational Division!
Joe Hoffman: Good job Benny!
Attention shifts up toward the HOV as Kirsta Lewis makes her way to the ring with a strong HOW reaction as the fans boo her loudly. She seems to be undisturbed by it all as she saunters her way down to the ring, slipping between the ropes before moving to her corner. Next out is Simon Sparrow!
The arena floor rises to their feet with cheers that are almost deafening as Simon Sparrow makes his way down to the ring. The New GM Of HOW works the fans as the cheers dominate the arena. Slipping into the ring he allows Matt Boettcher to run his normal weapons check before he signals for the bell.
Simon and Kirsta lock up in the center of the ring with Simon taking the immediate advantage by working Kirsta over with a series of quick arm locks! As he does so he works the crowd making the most simplistic of maneuvers seem important and powerful, much to the irritation of Kirsta. Simon eventually works her into the ropes where he hits a drop kick!
Joe Hoffman: Simon better not take Kirsta too easy, she is a world class wrestler.
Benny Newell: And a world class whore, if those lips could talk Joe.
Before he can cover her however Kirsta rolls outside the ring to catch her breath and collect her thoughts much to the disappointment of the fans! As they boo Kirsta seems to tune them out, stalking around the ring slowly as she tries to put together a game plan. Unfortunately for her Simon does not seem content to wait for her and goes outside the ring behind her.
Simon grabs her by the back of the head and matches her toward the barricade where he tries to run her into it..
Kirsta manages to get her foot up and blocks the attack. Instead she drives Simon’s head into the barricade causing Simon to fall back. Kirsta keeps up the pressure now by ramming Simons head into the near by ring post before rolling him into the ring. Kirsta works over Simon’s head with a series of stiff kicks before she locks in a head lock!
Simon struggles on the ground as his face slowly starts to turn red while the fans boo. Kirsta has a smug look of self satisfaction while Simon fades.. as his body goes limp Boettcher checks his hand..
Joe Hoffman: Could be over here folks.
Benny Newell: Wow, Kirsta making a guy limp…. who would have guessed.
Boettcher lifts his hand again and drops it..
Once again the ref lifts Simons hand and drops it..
Simon’s hand jumps up before hitting the mat as his reddened face crosses with resolve. Kirsta tries to tighten the hold as the crowd rallies behind their hero. Slowly Simon works his way back up to his feet before he is able to fight off Kirsta, sending her into the ropes.
Joe Hoffman: Both competitors down… whoever can get up first will have a big advantage here.
As both competitors seem to go for the same maneuver they catch eachother off guard and crash into the center of the ring. As the fans try to rally to Simon’s cause those cheers are slowly turned to boos as Max Kael can be seen making his way out onto the ramp. Over both of his shoulders are drapped the ICON Championship and the Internet Championship.
Joe Hoffman: Now what bussiness does Max Kael have coming out here?
Benny Newell: Maybe check out the man that is unrightfully trying to screw him.
Back in the ring Simon and Kirsta slowly make their way back up to the feet, both also unaware that Max is there. Max slowly makes his way down to the ring as Kirsta manages to work Simon back into a corner. She slings Simon out of the corner only to be countered. Kirsta is sent into the corner where she is met with a stiff closeline from Simon who drags her out into the center of the ring for a pinfall attempt..
Kirsta throws her shoulder up as Simon is denied the win. Simon climbs back up to his feet and slowly makes his way to the turn buckle where he climbs up.. however it is now that he notices Max slinking down to the ring, pointing at yelling to and yelling at him. Max plays innocent however this distraction is all the Kirsta requires to knock Simon’s legs out from under him, crotching him on the top turn buckle.
Benny Newell: I’m drinking, and that still even hurts me to watch…
Falling down off the turnbuckle in a heap, Kirsta is quick to pour on the offensive once again, shoving Simon’s head between the ropes to choke him out before Matt Boettcher pulls her off and back into the center of the ring warning her.
The boos echo in the arena as Max uses the Internet Title to crack Simon in the head while Boettcher is distracted warning Kirsta. As Simon’s limp, lifeless body is left hanging on the ropes Kirsta shoves Boettcher away and drags Simon into the center of the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Oh come on! Internet title off the skull of Sparrow!
NO! NO! Simon kicks out! Max Kael appears furious outside the ring while Kirsta begs and pleads with Boettcher who stands by his decision that Simon kicked out! Kirsta picks Simon up and throws him into the corner before she slides outside of the ring, grabbing a chair. Rolling back into the ring she is intercepted by Boettcher who starts to argue with her about the weapon.
Joe Hoffman: Steel chair now in the hands of Kirsta, good thing Boettcher is there ti stop her.
Meanwhile Max uses the distraction to once again climb up onto the apron with the Internet Title belt. Simon stumbles out of the corner toward Kistra who currently as Boettcher distracted. Max lines up a shot and charges toward Simon from behind..
Max blasts Kirsta in the back of the head before he realizes what he has done! Max quickly slips out of the ring before Boettcher can see him. He keep s his head down as he slowly makes his way back up the ramp while looking at the HOV where Kirsta can be seen on the ground holding her head where Max nailed her on accident. Simon uses the ropes to slowly pull himself back up.. He sees Kirsta down and stumbles toward her, pulling her up to her feet..
Simon hooks Kirsta’s leg..
WINNER: SIMON SPARROW IN 14 MINUTES 31 SECONDS!
The crowd jumps to its feet as Simon is declared the winner despite Max’s interference! Max looks red faced and furious as he storms his way back up the ramp having failed.
Joe Hoffman: A HUGE win for Simon Sparrow here tonight as he proves his dominance even when he had to basically defend himself against two people! Sparrow gains 3 more points for his Divisional lead while Kirsta Lewis loses 1!
Benny Newell: What the fuck Max!? You had a chance to prove you were better and you fucked it up! Let’s hope you do a better job in the trial tonight… fuck..
Hardcore Emotional Release
Joe Hoffman: Well we have word that Scottywood hasn’t left the Kallisten Coliseum peacefully at all. Word is that he has gone crazy out in the parking lot and we got cameras out there now.
Out in the parking lot of the Kallisten Coliseum we see The Hardcore Artist Scottywood with hockey stick in hand walking up to the hummer limo that Simon arrived in earlier in the night.
Scottywood: Mother fucker thinks he can steal my fuckin’ job? Well he has another fuckin’ thing coming for him!
He is about to take a shot at the limo but stops as he spots a small Power Wheels Hummer that has the license plate “Lewis” on it.
Scottywood: Really? Frankie doesn’t even have a fuckin’ Power Wheels. He’ll never shut up about getting his own if he ever sees this….
Just shaking his head we see Scotty smash out two windows of the hummer before he realizes just whose car it is that he is destroying.
Scottywood: Lee gave Simon his fuckin hummer limo? What the fuck! Lee never have me this car! Fuckin’ eh!
Scotty takes shot after shot at the hummer limo, busting out the windows and putting dent after dent into the body of the vehicle until he is satisfied with the damage that he has caused.
Scottywood: Fuck Simon, Fuck Lee, Fuck this entire place! I am nothing but loyal to Lee and how the fuck does he repay me? Let’s Simon fuckin Sparrow take my damn job!
The Hardcore Artist walks away from the hummer and spots a pink Ford Focus spitting near the arena that has the license plate “M Best” on it and a huge smile overcomes Scotty’s face.
Scottywood: Go figure he drives a fuckin’ Ford… none the less a pink fuckin’ Ford Foucs. That just screams “fuck me in the ass”.
Taking his hockey stick he takes two swings and destroys the front windshield as he continues to take out the rest of the windows of the car and puts huge dents in the hood and the sides of the vehicle.
Scottywood: That limp wristed fuck thinks he is going to just sign Simon and get rid of me? Well he is sorely wrong. After I am done with Sparrow I am going to fuckin’ destroy Mike Best. People think that my crucifying of Davidson was bad…. Just wait till you see what I do to Best.
Leaving the shattered glass and bent metal that was Mike Best’s car we see Scotty approach a white limo that has the license plate “ONLYSTR” and the Defiance logo on the side of it.
Joe Hoffman: That looks like the limo of Defiance owner Eric Dane!
Walking up to the limo Scotty takes his hockey stick, which is in poor shape after destroying his office and the cars in the parking lot he blast one of the side windows of the limo and as it shatters we see a cloud of smoke emerge from the limo.
Voice: Woah….what the fuck?
The voice is none other then Scottywood’s tag team partner Mr. Cool.
Scottywood: What the fuck are you doing in that limo?
Mr. Cool: Heyyyyyyy bro…. what times the show start?
Scottywood: It started more then a hour and a half ago. I had my job stolen from me by Simon Sparrow and I was escorted from the damn arena. What the fuck have you two been doing out here?
As the smoke clears we can see a second person inside the limo, and it is none other then Dream wrestler Johnny Legend.
Johnny Legend: Yo man, we jacked Eric Dane’s limo and Cool had some shit on him. So we lit it up and must of lost track of time. Sorry man.
Scottywood: Great, I’m losing my GM job and you two fucks are getting high in the parking lot. Well tell Eric Dane I’m sorry for the damage and that he can call Simon Sparrow’s insurance company for a settlement.
Taking his hockey stick he continues to bust out windows and put dent after dent in the body of the limo as Mr. Cool tries to roll up the window of the limo but glass just falls out the window as he shakes his head.
Mr. Cool: Man…. How are we suppose to bake this thing out with no windows…
Johnny Legend: I hear Aceldama drives a Volkswagen, how about we break into that shit. They must be real easy to bake.
Mr. Cool agrees as he opens the door to the limo and exits as Legend follows. Cool shuts the door and presses the alarm button as the horn honks and Scottywood continues taking shots at it as we head to a commercial break.
Max Kael’s testimony is after the Main Event
David Black vs. Mike Plow
Back from commercial and it is now time for our Main Event.
Joe Hoffman: Alright folks it is time for the former LSD Champion David Black to step into the ring with the future Dream Hall of Famer Mike Plow and who knows…future HOW Hall of Famer as well.
Benny Newell: Hall of Famer? This dude has yet to win a damn match here in HOW but I will say this about Mike…he has a good head on his shoulders as he is clearly in Lee’s corner in his trial and I have no doubts that he will prove his worth come the time he has to step onto the witness stand.
Joe Hoffman: Not everything is about Lee. You are going to have to get used to the fact that Lee might not be ever returning here to HOW and that Mike Best might just be your boss for a long time.
Benny Newell: Call the next match asshole..and do not EVER speak of such blasphemy again.
Before Joe can defend himself “Because I’m Awesome” by the Dollyrots hits the PA system and the ever confident Mike Plow steps out from behind the curtain and onto the ramp. Mike flexes a bicep, before slapping himself several times on the chest and pointing towards the ring. Smirking, he takes a cocky, casual stride down to the ring as the High Octane fans boo him loudly.
Joe Hoffman: Well here is a guy that had a tough loss to Max Kael in his opening Invitational match and he NEEDS a win here tonight or else he could be on the outside looking in for the knockout stage of the Invitational….and I have to remind everyone..all this is at stake….in this NO Disqualification match!!
The boos from the fans turn into cheers as “Survive” by Lacuna Coil hits the arenas sound system and David Black, the man that held the LSD Title longer than any person in HOW’s history, makes his way out from the back and down the entrance ramp, looking eager to take on the man that has consumed his life over the last week.
Benny Newell: This mofo has lost all grips with reality and I am telling you….he just aint right upstairs.
Joe Hoffman: Ya this coming from the guy that had sex with the ICON Championship…
Benny Newell: It was the ICON Title….ICON…..c’mon Joe….think about it…
Joe can only sigh as Benny smiles and toasts his Hall of Fame partner before taking a big swig off his official High Octane Flask.
Back in the ring, MPlow is smiling as he stares down Black who is returning the man’s stare with one of his own as referee Joel Hortega signals for the bell and the match is officially underway.
Joe Hoffman: Ok folks real quick here is how big this match is. If Black wins he will pretty much insure that he will join Max Kael in the next round. If Plow wins then he will be tied with Black in points and then we could have a three way tie if Black defeats Kael in the final match of the group and Plow defeats Mark O’Neal….whew.
Benny Newell: Call the match..let the fucksticks go to the HOTv site and look at the Invitational standings for themselves.
Joe is speechless as Benny has made a valid point but quickly gets back into professional mode as inside the ring Plow has gained the early advantage with a eye rake right off the bat and now has Black in the corner and is measuring and connecting with several big time elbows to the side of the head of the former LSD Champion.
With the crowd cheering him on, Black finally fights his way out of the corner and turns the tables on Mike and it is now David on the offensive as he unloads with right hands that literally knock Plow off his feet and down to a seated position in the corner as he covers up.
Instead of continuing the onslaught Black turns and walks to the center of the ring and mocks the cocky MPlow, before turning and rushing at the man and nailing him with a diving dropkick that drives Mikes head hard into the second turnbuckle.
Joe Hoffman: Big impact move there from Black…he must remain on the offensive…
Sensing he is in early trouble, Mike rolls out of the ring but Black is relentless as he executes a diving cross body thru the ropes and the two men crash onto the arena floor as the crowd starts chanting…
Having no sense of his own well being, over the next several minutes Black uses every surface of the surrounding environment as Joe reminds the viewers that this is a NO DQ match and everything Black is doing is legal.
Finally the clever Plow is able to turn the tide of the match with a wicked low blow to Black that drops the man to his knees and then down to his back after Mike nails him with a chair shot that could be heard all the way back to the Slaughterhouse…home of Dream Wrestling.
The cameras pan in on both men now as they are covered in blood and it’s unclear of the extent of the men’s injuries as they have each other’s blood on them as well.
Joe Hoffman: This match has turned into a bar fight. I was expecting a wild wrestling match…but there is no wrestling moves here folks…this is pure violence.
Back on the outside, Mike has propped Black up against the ring apron and drives the steel chair into the stomach of Black who falls to his knees gasping for air and as Mike lifts the dented steel chair over his head to bring it down on Black his momentum is stopped….
Joe Hoffman: WHAT IS HE DOING HERE!!???
The cameras quickly pan out as the crowd goes apeshit at the sight of the man that just stopped Mike from knocking the head off of David Black…..
The High Octane Champion Aceldama…..
The crowd is cheering like mad as the screen for the viewers at home goes to a split screen and we see Aceldama climb over the ring barrier and enter the fray from the seats, while on the other half of the screen we see Aceldama slam the steel chair across the face of MPlow, sending the man down to the arena floor.
Aceldama turns towards the fans and lifts the bloody and dented chair high up in the air and tosses into the crowd as he takes a final look at the damage he just caused and then he climbs back into the crowd and fights his way thru the fans and to a destination unknown.
Joe Hoffman: We knew Aceldama and Plow had issues but I definitely didn’t see this coming!!
Benny Newell: Wrestling 101 you numnut…I seen it from a mile away….
Joe Hoffman: Suuuure you did…..I think…..oh wait folks…BLACK HAS AN ARM ON MIKE…
But Hortega doesn’t make the count as he motions to Black that he has to make the cover inside the ring.
Frustrated, and still woozy, Black and the fans count the cover anyway and they get up to a seven count before Black rolls off of Mike and with the help of his fans he stands up to his feet and stammers over to Mike and lifts the man up and rolls him into the ring.
Black slowly follows suit and he drags Mike to the center of the ring and then drops down to his knees and covers Plow.
KICKOUT!!! KICKOUT BY Plow…
The HOW cameras then zoom into Aceldama who has stopped at the top of the first level of seats and his face turns solemn as he sees Mike Kickout.
Back in the ring Black drags Mike up to his feet and signals for his finisher The Blackout. Black jumps up and grabs the back of Mikes neck with both hands but they do not hold and his attempt at his Codebreaker type finisher goes awry as he falls hard on his back and the cameras show a cocky smile come over the face of Mike as he wipes the back of his neck and mouths the word “Vaseline” to Black.
Benny Newell: NOW THAT’S how you do it….Mike KNEW Blacks finishing move and he prepared for it….GENIUS!!
Black is in shock but his look of shock turns to concern as Mike pulls something out from his tights and falls towards Black who attempts to cover up but is unable to stop the brass knuckles from connecting with the side of his head, opening up his already bloodied head even more.
Mike gets in the mount position and begins to reign down with right hands, each punch amplified by the fact that he has brass knuckles on his hands.
The fans turn their head away in disgust as Black’s hands drop to the mat and he is no longer able to defend himself as Plow is smiling as blood from Black’s head begins to spray over the canvas.
Finally Hortega tackles Plow off of Black and signals for the bell…..
Bryan McVay: WINNER OF THE MATCH….MIKE Plow!!!!!
Benny Newell: LET IT CONTINUE..THIS ISNT THE HOFC…..YOU CANNOT HAVE A REF STOPPAGE!!
Joe is too shaken up to respond…..the final image we see before the live portion of Turmoil ends is of both Black and Plow lying on their backs in the center of the ring….bloodied …but with one major difference…
Mike is smiling.
END OF FEED
We return, once again, to the Cook County Courthouse where the ongoing trial of Lee Best continues. This week it was announced that none other than Max Kael would be appearing before the court for his testimony. Judge Paul P. Biebel, Jr. is seen taking a seat as the rest of the court house sits. He slams his hammer on the gavel as court is drawn into session.
Honorable Judge Paul P. Biebel, Jr.: Mr. Fitzgerald, you may call your witness.
Fitzgerald: The State calls Mr. Maximillian Kael to the stand.
Heads in the court turn as the back doors open dramatically. Elenore Kael in a somewhat Victorian style black and blue business suit steps through the doors followed by Max Kael wearing a black suit with a red Maxopotamian arm band on. The self proclaimed Prime Minister of Maxopotamia wore a smug look on his face as the court members watched the Paragon head toward the head of the court.
Elenore reaches edge of the court and smiles serenely at the judge.
Elenore Kael: Hello my name is Elenore Kael, I represent Mister Maximillian Kael as his attorney.
Honorable Judge Paul P. Biebel, Jr.: Very well, Ms. Kael. Please take a seat. Mr. Kael, please take the stand.
Elenore nods and steps to the side as Max slips up to the witness stand. Taking a seat the court appointed bailiff steps forward with a bible. Max is quick, however, to manifest a strange, black leather book from his pocket.
Max Kael: Oh I don’t swear on that.. I swear on this! The official Book of Maxopotamia!
There is a murmur in the crowd as Judge Biebel, Jr. slams his gavel for Order. The bailiff takes the book and eyes it for a moment before swearing Max in on it. As soon as they are done prosecutor Fitzgerald steps forward.
Fitzgerald: Mr. Kael, as we all know you were involved in some of Lee Best’s more.. violent endeavors in recent HOW History. Your own violent habits are well documented both before, during and after your various tenures under the employ of Lee Best, are they not?
Max Kael: Well I me-
Suddenly Elenore Kael stands up to Object.
Elenore Kael: I object. Your honor, my clients medical and criminal records are sealed as per a court order from Judge Charles Pickman from the Miskatonic Circuit Court. Mr. Fitzgerald may neither ask my client about nor speak about any of the issues related to my clients mental well being.
Max smiles at Fitzgerald with the kind of childishly villainous smirk that says “Ha-ha you suck”. Elenore brandishes a file for the Judge to see.
Honorable Judge Paul P. Biebel, Jr.: Prosecution, Defense.. approach the bench.
Elenore, Fitzgerald and Lee approach the bench however Lee is quick to allow Elenore to step in front of him as he checks her well toned posterior. After a brief moment Lee and Elenore make their way back to their side of the court room while Fitzgerald returns to the prosecutions table with a sour expression.
Fitzgerald: Mr. Kael, is it true that Lee Best allowed you to run over fellow HOW Wrestlers with a golf cart?
Max Kael: Sure, I suppose. In the same what that Japan allows Godzilla to destroy Tokyo, ya know? I mean it is not like I put in a call to Lee every time we are going to do anything like that. It’s just vroom, vroom boom! Speed bump! Heh-heh.. ya know?
Max’s eyes move out to Elenore who shakes her head disapprovingly. Max licks his lips and looks back toward Fitzgerald as he clears his throat.
Max Kael: Of course, its all fake and done for the entertainment of the fans. You know, everyone has to have a good catch phrase, like Speed bump, and I’ve been blessed with this.. horrifying Creative Talent.. where in I have many endearing qualities and ideas. I mean, truth be told I probably have more creative ideas, nick names and catch phrases when Jatt Starr.. or Simon Sparrow, whatever you want to call-
Elenore Kael pushed up from her table suddenly, hands splayed on the tables edge. Max is quick to shut up at Elenore’s aggressive stance as he looks directly at Fitzgerald.
Fitzgerald: Thank you, Mr. Kael. Next question. It was public knowledge that in the early portion of last year you paid a great sum of money to purchase half of High Octane Wrestling allowing you to become half owner of HOW. During that tenure is it not true that Lee had individuals within the company beaten, intimidated and threatened to ensure that you would never gain full control of the company?
Once again Max’s eyes wander toward Elenore who seems to be readjusting her glasses. Lee even notices Max looking at her as he turns to look for himself with a confused expression. Max turns his eyes back toward Fitzgerald with a smile.
Max Kael: I helped my good friend Lee out when he needed it and we turned it into a creative storyline. Did I tell you that I am bursting with ideas in regards to my creative energies well better then anything one Simon Sparrow could ever muster? Indeed, we made it LOOK like Lee was trying to battle for control, it’s called a ratings boost. But I wouldn’t ever say Lee was unfair or unkind to his employees.
The prosecutor clearly looks irked by Max’s responses as he looks toward Elenore who simply offers the prosecution a sickly sweet smile. Signing, Fitzgerald turns toward Max for a moment longer before he gives up.
Fitzgerald: The prosecution has no further questions for the witness as our hands are currently tied thanks to a ruling from a court outside of our own.
Lee Best: Objection!
Honorable Paul. P. Biebel, Jr.: Sustained. Mr. Fitzgerald, while I may not agree with the court order you will respect the wishes of another judge in my court or be held under contempt. Your witness Mr. Best.
Lee slowly stands up, smoothing out his suit as he fiddles with a pen in his hand. He looks down at his notes then back up at Max.
Lee Best: Mr. Kael, how would you describe your working conditions within HOW?
Max Kael: Some of the best I have ever had. I have insurance, a good wage and the company ensures that I am where I need to be when I need to be there. Sure, there are the usual aches and pains of the business but I do not think anyone can make those go away.
Lee Best: So you would say that I am both a fair and decent businessman?
Max Kael: Of course! I am not even sure why we are here. I mean Vince McMahon has never been put on trial for beating the hell out of his wrestlers. It’s all fake, it’s all entertainment. You know what is good for business and what draws in the fans and we all follow you toward it.
Lee looks toward the jurors who seem to have mixed feelings about Max’s testimony. Just the same he smiles at them and nods.
Lee Best: It’s all fake. It’s all entertainment. Max, as Mr. Fitzgerald brought up, you owned half of HOW with me for a tenure. How would you describe our working relationship?
Max Kael: Oh it worked out fine. I mean, it was all for storyline purposes though however when you asked for assistance in ensuring that the HOW stayed a local owned company I was happy to help. It’s both good for the local Chicago economy and a sign that I clearly have no problem working with you and ensuring that our fans get everything they want.
Max smiles and nods toward the jurors as Elenore Kael spies a look toward them. Lee nods and starts to walk away from the podium before he turns, tapping his pen against his chin.
Lee Best: One last Question. Max.. how would you like to be the Emperor of the HOW Grounds?
The crowd once again flares abuzz as Lee Best makes another unabashed attempt to “pay off” another wrestler willing to back him in his case. The prosecution jumps to his feet quickly.
Max Kael: Emperor!?! WOO!
Honorable Paul. P. Biebel, Jr.: ORDER! Order in the court!
As Lee moves past Fitzgerald it is clear he ensures his shoulder slaps into his prosecutor knocking him to the side while the court room continues to buzz loudly. The feed cuts as Max Kael throws his arms up into the air while Elenore wears a look of complete disgust at her simpleton cousin.
END OF TRANSMISSION