Thursday Night Turmoil
January 14th, 2010 – #HOW100
Kallisten Coliseum, Chicago, IL
The HOTv logo gives way and we cut immediately inside The Kallisten Coliseum where it its time for Thursday Night Turmoil….
The cameras show a near sold out arena filled with screaming fans as the Hall of Fame Announce Team of Joe Hoffman and Big Buff Benny Newell welcome everyone to tonights broadcast.
Joe Hoffman Welcome to Thursday Night Turmoil….I am Joe Hoffman and as always I am joined by Big Buff…
Benny Newell: Ahem…Hall of Famer and WWR Announcer of the Year…Big Buff Benny Newell…ahem.
Joe Hoffman Yes….sorry partner….Hall of Famer and CO Announcer of the Year….Benny Newell.
The camera zooms in to see a state of shock as Benny looks at Joe who is smirking as he continues…
Joe Hoffman: Tonight we continue with the Best Invitational as we finish up the first set of group match ups and of course we have our HUGE main event tonight..which is now for the ICON Championship…when Aceldama and Tim Shipley enter the cage and try to take away the ICON Title away from HOW Hall of Famer Maximillian Kael.
Benny Newell: Co? You seriously think you played any part in us being named announcers of the year? Cmon Joe…wake the f—
Joe Hoffman: Folks before Benny goes into one of his patented curse laden rants lets head to another part of the Kallisten Coliseum as its time for Going Hollywood!!
As the cameras cut away from Joe and Benny we see Benny screaming in the ear of Joe that HE is why they are Hall of Famers and Announcers of the year…
The High Octane Vision screen above the entrance ramp comes to life as announcer Bryan McVay sets up the opening segment of the show…
Bryan McVay: LIVE from Studio 2A inside The Kallisten Coliseum, this is Going Hollywood with Michael DeNucci! On tonight’s show, a very special guest joins the HOFC Champion! And now, your host…MICHAEL DENUCCI!
The crowd in the arena itself boos immensely as “The Headhunter” Michael DeNucci steps into the studio, designed to resemble a swanky, sophisticated lounge. Those in the studio, however, see things differently, mainly as a result of the money they’re being paid to be there. DeNucci shakes hands with a few of the trendy, beautiful people he’s filled the club with, before making his way over to the roped-off VIP section, where an electric blue water wall serves as a backdrop for a luxurious couch and a glass table, upon which a bottle of Hpnotiq sits. DeNucci bumps fists with the menacing-looking bouncer protecting the area, and the man unhooks the velvet rope for Michael, who steps into the section and sits down on the couch.
MDl: What’s up, bitches? Once again, it’s YOUR HOFC champ, and your favorite two-sport superstar, Michael DeNucci!
DeNucci’s various hangers-on applaud.
MDl: Thank you, thank you. My guest tonight is…well, to tell you the truth, I don’t really know what the fuck he is. All I know about this guy is he put Lee Best in jail on some bullshit charges and claims to be running shit around here. Ladies and gentlemen, give a Going Hollywood welcome to Mike Best!
Mike Best walks into the studio, where he is greeted with boos from DeNucci’s loyal followers. He shrugs the boos off and walks over to his seat next to DeNucci.
MDl: Mike, welcome to Going Hollywood. First question: seriously, what the fuck ARE you?
Mike Best: I’m the soon-to-be owner of High Octane Wrestling, and the man who is gonna take HOW to a whole new level.
MDl: Okay, let me stop you right there. Mike, do you actually believe that you have a shot at putting your far more successful brother away for life?
Mike Best: I have more than a shot, Michael. My brother’s crimes have finally caught up to him, and now he’s going to pay a heavy price.
MDl: Mike, you talk about your brother’s crimes, but what about yours? Let’s start with your sexual harassment of several members of the HOW roster, including one Mr. Wolfgang Bruggemann, also known as Aceldama.
Mike Best: Stop right there. That was nowhere near sexual harassment.
MDl: Several sports-entertainment gossip sites are reporting that Aceldama is considering a sexual harassment suit against you. Are you prepared to pay for your crimes, just as you claim Lee is about to pay for his?
Mike Best: You have NO ROOM to talk about sexual harassment, Michael. Or did you forget about one Erites Kallisten?
MDl: That’s COMPLETELY different.
Mike Best: Here, let me read you some of your tweets regarding Erites.
Mike breaks out a piece of paper and begins to read off of it.
Mike Best: “Yo Benny, you got a paddle I can borrow? I think Erites is gonna need a spanking.” Or how about this one? “Anyone seen Newell? I need a roofie hookup by tomorrow.” Or my personal favorite: “Unconscious people can’t say no.” Michael, if ANYONE is facing a sexual harassment suit, it’s you.
MDl: Let’s go back to the Lee Best trial for a second. What do you plan to do when Lee is found not guilty and goes free? Are you going to run and hide in obscurity like you did before, or are you going to face him and take your asskicking like a man?
Mike Best: First off, that will never happen. There’s so much evidence against Lee that he’ll never see daylight again. But on the off chance he somehow gets off on a technicality, I’m prepared to take him on.
MDl: Lee will eat you alive…anyway, one more question before I kick you the fuck out of my studio, and it’s an important one. As you know, last week I called out the Hellcat herself, Kirsta Lewis. I told you that you had two weeks to make that match happen, or you’d suffer the consequences.
Two 6’10”, 285-pound bouncers begin to approach Mike Best menacingly.
MD: Mike, I can see that Kirsta and I are not booked here on tonight’s card. That leaves one opportunity to make the match that the people want to see, and more importantly, the fight that leaves your asshole stuffed with Toshi the Asian male prostitute’s cock instead of my foot. Mike, it’s time for you to do the right thing. Make this match…while you still can.
Mike Best: You’re right about one thing, Michael. It’s time for me to do the right thing. First, let me make it VERY clear for you, since you seem to be challenging The Situation for the title of Dumbest Guido on Television: I don’t respond to threats. You can’t push me around, and if you try to, you’re going to find that out VERY quickly.
Mike pauses for a moment.
Mike Best: I’ve given it a lot of thought over the past week, an I’ve read what you and Kirsta each had to say. And after careful consideration, I’ve decided that this match…Michael DeNucci vs. Kirsta Lewis…WILL happen next week on Turmoil!
The crowd both in Studio 2A and in the arena itself explodes. As they cheer, the bouncers go to remove Mike, but he stands up and starts to leave on his own, before turning around…
Mike Best: Oh, and by the way…the referee for that fight is going to be your opponent at HOFC 1…CHRISTOPHER AMERICA!!
the crowd explodes again, and for once in his life, DeNucci is speechless. We leave him in that state, and cut to our first commercial.
Make sure to listen to the new HOR from last night..lots of news and even a spoiler!
Hazing with Faze
Back LIVE on Turmoil, the scene opens up backstage in front of the closed locker room door of Alpha Beta Slam, whose simple nameplate merely features the Greek letters A, B… and well, S, which there really isn’t a Greek letter for. Despite their falling short in their Tag Team title opportunity last week, loud thumps of bass can be heard from outside ABS’s locker room door, setting a mood rather opposite from the one you’d expect of them coming off such a loss.
Rushing into the picture is the out-of-breath Frankie the Cameraman, who stops abruptly at the door with a plastic bag containing a six-pack of orange pop, Lays potato chips, and French Onion dip. Breathing heavily, Frankie gasps for air and sets the bag down near the door.
Frankie the Cameraman: This… ti… title… weighs… a TON!
With his hands on his knees, it takes Frankie several moments to catch his breath. Upon doing so, he gathers himself and his bag of typical party supplies before knocking excitedly at the door.
Favoring his fragile, tender knuckles, Frankie realizes after several moments with no answer that he must find an alternative way to get in. The music blaring inside the locker room is simply too loud for the Faze Brothers to hear anything.
Stumped on what he should do, Frankie stares blankly at the brass door knob for several more moments until 3 members of what appears to be the DePaul University cheerleading squad brush past him and enter the room.
Leaving Frankie and the locker room door wide open behind them, the striking young co-eds immediately greet “Phenomenal” Ryan Faze and his twin brother Griffin on a make-shift wooden dance floor.
Frankie watches in awe as the team of Alpha Beta Slam are surrounded by the girls, smirks etched onto their faces. As DMX’s “Party Up” blares over the scene, Frankie appears to be having second thoughts as the sight of the 3 beautiful college girls has made him nervous. But before he goes to turn away, Griffin Faze grabs him by the shoulder and pulls him into the locker room, thus making the decision easy for the Tag Team champion.
Before Frankie can even comprehend what is going on, he finds himself in the middle of the dance floor, surrounded by the cheerleaders and the Faze Brothers. In unison, all 5 of them begin belting out the chorus of the song blasting throughout the room.
Y’all gon’ make me lose my mind! Up in here! Up in here.
Y’all gon’ make me go all out! Up in here! Up in here.
Y’all gon’ make me act a fool! Up in here! Up in here.
Y’all gon’ make me lose my cool! Up in here! Up in here.
That’s right, folks. You just heard DMX on Thursday Night Turmoil.
Anyways, it takes nearly the entire song for Frankie to warm up to the situation, but before we know it, the lovable Spongebob-loving Cameraman is “getting down” with his “bad self”… at least as best he can, which truly isn’t much.
Suddenly, the music comes to a screeching halt as Griffin Faze kills the music, essentially killing the atmosphere in the process as well.
Ryan Faze: What the fuck was that, Frankie?
Unsure of how to respond, Frankie innocently shrugs his shoulders and retrieves his plastic bag of party supplies that he brought for the occasion.
Frankie the Cameraman: I, uh… brought orange soda.
Disappointed, the Faze Brothers shoot each a look before looking back to Frankie with disapproving eyes.
Ryan Faze: What? We invite you here out of the kindness of our hearts to party with us, even after your partner Pottywood essentially screwed us out of winning the Tag Team titles, and that is all you could come up with? Potato chips and… the Macarena?!? To DMX?!?
Griffin Faze: You were supposed to bring condoms and beer, Frankie!
Slightly embarrassed for not meeting the Faze Brothers’ standards, Frankie pulls a balloon out of his left pocket in hopes that it will serve as a suitable replacement. Alpha Beta Slam is not impressed.
Ryan Faze: What the hell kind of party did you think this would be? We even got one of DePaul’s sluttiest cheerleaders to come along for you.
Standing between a blonde with long legs and a gorgeous brunette that could even put the Budweiser girls to shame is a slightly less… ok, a way worse looking cheerleader with red hair and pigtails. Biting her bottom lip, she gives Frankie a wink which again, makes him uneasy.
Frankie the Cameraman: Listen guys, I can make this up to you. A quick run to the store for some Smirnoff Passionberry Twist and we’ve got ourselves a party!
Frankie goes to leave but again, Griff stops him short by grabbing him by the shoulder.
Griffin Faze: Sorry Frankie, that’s just not gonna work. You want to make it up to us? You want to become one of the brothers of Alpha Beta Slam? Then you leave that Tag Team title belt here with us… where it rightfully belongs.
Ryan Faze: And tell Scotty we’ll be taking that other belt off his hands, sooner rather than later.
A look of shame comes across Frankie’s face as he clearly wants to join ABS, but knows Scotty would kill him if he relinquished the Tag Team title.
Frankie the Cameraman: Yeeeaah… I dunno guys. Scotty wouldn’t be too happy if-
Ryan Faze: Who the fuck cares what Scottywood and his fun-loving vagina thinks?!? He sits down to piss for crying out loud!
Frankie the Cameraman: Yeah, he said that’s getting really old and that-
Griffin Faze: Just give us the title, God dammit!
Even the DePaul cheerleaders chime in to encourage Frankie to hand over the title to ABS and it appears that he’s becoming overwhelmed by the peer pressure.
Ryan Faze: (pounding his fist into his palm) Don’t make this harder than it should be, Frankie.
Un-strapping the Tag Team championship belt from around his waist with the odds stacked against him, it appears that Frankie is going succumb to Alpha Beta Slam’s demands, but before he does so, he tries one last act of desperation.
Frankie the Cameraman: Hey look! A boobie!
Ryan & Griffin Faze: Huh?!?
The Faze twins spin around toward the cheerleaders, who are standing impatiently with each other, fully clothed, wondering when the party is going to kick back up.
Ryan Faze: Hey, what the- ?
Ryan spins back around, but it’s too late. Frankie has darted off and out of the ABS locker room, even grabbing the orange soda and chips he brought with him along the way. Lured by the prospect of a woman’s breast, Griffin turns back to his brother with a duped, disappointed expression.
Griffin Faze: Man…
Ryan Faze: Fuck Frankie. Don’t worry about it Griff. Those titles will ours soon enough. Besides, you really think we aren’t gonna see some titties tonight?
One look at the agitated cheerleaders was all Ryan’s brother needed to respond properly.
Griffin Faze: I dunno, bro. If we’re lucky, I think we’ve got some work to do.
Ryan Faze: Then what are we waiting for? I’ll get the music. You get the roofi-err-uh-I mean, uh, Red Bull. AHEM! Yeah.
Clearing his throat, the Phenomenal One nods to his brother, giving him indication of what to really look for as Griffin nods. As they’re doing so, the feed slowly fades out and back to ringside, where Joe and Benny are ready to call our first match of the evening.
Chris Kostoff vs. Justin Brooks
Cutting back to ringside we quickly hear “We Gonna Make It” by Jadakiss starts to play as there is mostly boos coming from the Chicago crowd as we see Justin Brooks from Defiance Wrestling make his way out onto the stage.
Bryan McVay: The following contest is a Best Invitational match and scheduled for one fall. First making his way to the ring representing Defiance Wrestling and from Mount Vernon, New York, weighing in at 247 pounds…..Justin Brooks!!
Joe Hoffman: Match one of three pitting HOW guys against outsiders here in the tournament, and as you can hear, Brooks is not getting a friendly response from these HOW loyal fans.
Benny Newell: Fuck these outsiders; I hope Kostoff rips his head off.
The ever cocky and confident Justin Brooks makes his way into the ring, proudly showing off his Defiance t-shirt as he removes it, revealing his built physique as he tosses the shirt into the crowd….only to have it thrown back at him. A little mad Brooks throws the shirt back….again only to have it thrown back into the ring.
Benny Newell: Take a hint, no one wants your shitty ass shirt!
Brooks tosses the shirt into the corner as “Name of the Game” by The Crystal Method cuts in and there is a rather loud response for the long time veteran of HOW, Chris Kostoff who makes his way out onto the stage.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent, from Tampa, Florida and weighing in at 285 pounds….Chris Kostoff!!
Joe Hoffman: And a loud cheer for the monster Chris Kostoff….who many fans have not seen in a wrestling match in some time. Tonight there will be no HOFC rules, no basement and no 3 minutes round. Tonight is pure wrestling for the Hall of Famer and two-time High Octane Champion.
Coming down to the ring with a purpose Kostoff doesn’t even care that for the large positive response he is getting from the crowd and slides into the ring and tries to get right in Brooks’s face, who doesn’t back away from Kostoff at all as referee Joel Hortega tries to keep the two men separated, but gives up as he calls for the bell to start the match. Kostoff strikes quickly with a hard right jab that catches Brooks off guard and sends him back a few feet.
Benny Newell: Right in his man pleaser!
Kostoff stays right on Brooks with a stiff clothesline followed by a spinebuster and a quick legdrop as Kostoff goes for an early pinfall in this match, trying to catch Brooks off guard.
Joe Hoffman: Kickout by Brooks…Nice attempt by Kostoff, but he is no Hulk Hogan.
Benny Newell: Just imagine Kostoffamania running wild….scary.
Pulling Brooks back up to his feet, Kostoff attempts to go for a suplex but we see Brooks block it and knee Kostoff in the gut as he hits a quick DDT followed by a dropkick as Kostoff gets back up. With Kostoff on the mat Brooks locks in a sharpshooter on as Kostoff claws for the ropes as he is able to quickly get to them as Hortega makes Brooks break the hold and Kostoff slides out of the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Kostoff smartly got to those ropes before Brooks could really lock that hold in and cause some major damage.
Not wanting to give Kostoff a breather, he ignores Hortega and exits the ring and throws a punch at Kostoff which the HOFCer ducks, Brooks tries with a left but Kostoff also ducks that before booting Brooks in the stomach and slamming his head off the steel steps not once, not twice, but three times as Hortega has started a ten count.
Crowd: Fuck him up Kostoff…fuck him up!
Brooks is stunned now as Kostoff walks him around the corner of the ring to the announce table where he picks up Brooks’s Defiance t-shirt that was repeatedly thrown back at him and starts to choke Brooks with it.
Joe Hoffman: Kostoff full of rage tonight as he tries to choke Brooks out with his own shirt.
Benny Newell: Now we have finally found a good use for a Defiance t-shirt.
Not wanting to get counted out Kostoff quickly hammers Brooks in the face twice and lets go of the shirt as he rolls Brooks back into the ring, which he quickly follows. He pulls Brooks up to his feet and throws him into the ropes as he attempts for an elbow smash which Brooks ducks and comes back at Kostoff from the other side with a big spear that takes Kostoff down and leaves an exhausted Brooks laying on the mat.
Joe Hoffman: Good back and forth match here to start off Turmoil tonight, as we still have 5 more tournament matches AND a triple threat steel cage match with the High Octane, ICON and LSD champions….for the ICON title.
Brooks is first to his feet as he stalks Kostoff who is slow to get back his feet. As Kostoff regains his vertical position we see Brooks come in and hit his signature T-Bone suplex as he hooks Kostoff’s leg for the pin attempt.
Joe Hoffman: T-Bone suplex almost ends it for Brooks, but Kostoff resiliently gets the shoulder up
Benny Newell: You have to almost hit Kostoff with a semi truck to keep him down for three.
Wanting to end this match we see Brooks pull Kostoff up and lift him up into a fireman’s carry and attempts to hit his finishing inverted piledriver but Kostoff battles out of the hold as he connects with a german suplex followed by a big backbreak and a pin attempt
Kostoff back off for a second to catch his breathe as Brooks pulls himself to his feet and Kostoff kicks him in the stomach and seems to want to got for his finisher but Brooks reverses it with a back body drop. Kostoff quick pops back up and walks right into another fireman’s carry, but Kostoff quickly slides off the back of Brooks’s shoulder and as he turns around Kostoff delievers a hard kick to the stomach as he lifts him up on his shoulders and connects with a sit down powerbomb and hooks Brooks’s leg.
Joe Hoffman: No Remorse connects for Kostoff.
Hortega calls for the bell as Kostoff rolls off Brooks, exhausted, but happy that he has come out victorious as we hear “Name of the Game” play in the coliseum.
Benny Newell: Score one for HOW, and score three points for Kostoff.
Joe Hoffman: Yes, Kostoff now stands tied with Chris Jacobs for the lead in the 2xtreme division as Brooks falls to a third place tie with Effing Holmes with negative one point.
Benny Newell: Right where those two wannabes belong. None of these outsiders stand a chance against HOW…clean sweep tonight for us tonight.
Joe Hoffman: Well I hope that is the case, but for now we are going to head backstage where I hear we have a camera with the GM of the show, Scottywood.
Black Days Continue..
We cut backstage where David Black is seen hiding behind some crates, peeping over the top of the crates every few seconds towards a closed door on the opposite side of the hallway as a cameraman is moving towards him from the side. As the cameraman nears David he turns his head and looks into the camera.
David Black: Go away! Shoo!
He turns his head away from the camera and looks towards the closed door and then back at the camera again.
David Black: Get out of here! Go bother someone else!
David looks towards the closed door again and this time the cameraman turns in that direction as well. As the cameraman zooms in on the door the name on the door becomes visible;
The camera zooms out again and goes back on David.
David Black: I’m not gonna tell you again, mate…Go…away!
Just then the door is suddenly opened and David quickly reaches out and grabs the cameraman and pulls him behind the crates with him. The camera goes unsteady for several seconds as the cameraman regains his balance and control, while the door is heard closing again and the sound of footsteps disappearing down the hallway can be heard.
David Black: And here we go.
He laughs to himself as he leaves his hiding position behind the crates and heads towards the door with the cameraman in tow. He whistles a jolly tune as he nears the door and quickly looks both right and left before knocking on the door. He waits for a few seconds before carefully opening the door and sticking his head inside.
David Black: Anybody home?…Gimpy?
As there is no answer from within he pushes the door all the way open and walks inside with a confident swagger. He walks to the middle of the room where he stops and looks at the locker room around him.
David Black: Okay…if I was a gimpy oaf where would I put…
He stops talking and a smile appears on his face as he spots a couple of bags towards the back of the room.
David Black: Well, hello there!
He takes a step towards the bags but then stops, spins around and walks back towards the door.
David Black: Better close this one.
He closes the door and then struts towards the bags with a smile on his face, as he is either oblivious to the fact that the cameraman is still there, or he just does not care. He opens the first bag and starts searching through it.
David Black: Come on, come on! Don’t tell me gimpy was smart enough to bring it with him.
He continues searching the bag for a few more seconds before giving up and angrily shoving the bag away from him.
David Black: Okay…bag number two then.
He grabs the other bag, opens it and starts searching through that one as well.
David Black: Here kitty kitty… Wow!
He suddenly exclaims, as it seems his search has finally been fruitful. He pulls something that looks like a woman’s panties out of the bag but before the camera can get clear shot a voice is heard coming from behind David.
??: What the hell are you doing in here?
David quickly pockets whatever it was he was holding in his hands as the cameraman turns around and we see Tim Shipley standing in the doorway with the LSD Championship around his waist. David’s eyes immediately look onto the title and Shipley picks right up on that.
Tim Shipley: Right, this is getting pathetic! I am the champion now, deal with it!
David Black: Huh?
David finally takes his eyes off the LSD Championship title belt.
David Black: Oh, right! Pathetic. You’re right, I really should…get some…help. You’re absolutely right.
David begins casually making his way towards the door.
David Black: You know, I feel good about this. It’s all clear to me now, you have really helped me see the light.
Tim Shipley: Just get out of here!
David Black: I’m going! Because…you know, stealing is wrong. I get that now. And that is why I was here, to steal the title but…
David and Shipley are now face to face just inside the door. Shipley has a somewhat puzzled look on his face as he seems to be picking up on David’s nervousness.
David Black: Anyway, I really should get going.
He gives a slight nod towards Shipley as he carefully eases his way past him and out of the locker room, still with the cameraman in tow. Just as David and the cameraman steps back into the hallway, Shipley slams the door shut behind him. David then quickly looks both right and left to make sure no one else is around before reaching into his pockets and pulling out whatever it was he stole from one of the bags in Shipley’s locker room, revealing that it was in fact a pair of women’s panties. He looks at the panties and a disturbing smile appears on his face.
David Black: Score!
He continues smiling as he puts the panties back in his pocket and heads off down the hallway as the show cuts to commercial.
Congratulations to all the High Octane Winners and Nominees in the Year End Awards.
The Best Phone Call Ever
We return from commercial break and we see the new General Manager of HOW, Scottywood sitting behind his desk, which we see both of the HOW Tag Team titles sitting on Next to him on the couch we see Frankie eating his Lays potato chips and French Onion dip while drinking of his orange sodas that he tried to bring to the A.B.S. party early.
Frankie: So can I have my Tag Team title belt back now?
Scottywood: For the last time I said no. If it weren’t for a rare clever moment of yours, this title would be in the hands of Ryan Faze, who would have lost it as quickly as he lost the LSD title when he held that. I mean what were you thinking going to a party hosted by those two?
Frankie: Well I have never really been to a real party before. Unless you count the one my parents held me for my High School graduation.
Scottywood: No….that doesn’t count.
Frankie: So then I have never been to a real party before. I was just trying to fit in and have some fun.
Scottywood: Well partying with A.B.S….a couple of creepy 26 year old men partying with college girls is not the way to go about that.
Reaching for his can of red AMP Scotty takes a drink, which finishes the energy drink off as Scotty tosses the can at the trash can which it hits the rim and bounces in.
Scottywood: I really wish I could have a couple beers during the show instead, this AMP goes through me so much faster. But fuckin Mike Best threatened to fire me for being drunk on the job if I did.
Frankie: What about Benny?
Scottywood: That’s what I said, but apparently it is in his contract that he is allowed to….I’ll be right back, gonna take a piss.
Getting up from his desk he makes his way towards his private bathroom, and right before he reaches the door the phone on his desk starts to ring which makes him turn around.
Scottywood: Think you can handle answering that Frankie and taking a message?
Frankie nods his head as he puts his bag of chips down and picks up the phone from the desk as Scotty heads into the bathroom and closes the door behind him.
Frankie: Scott Woodson’s office, how can one half of the HOW Tag Team champions, The Frankster help you?
We can’t hear who is on the phone but whoever it is causes Frankie’s eyes to wide with surprise as his grip on the phone obviously tightens. Frankie doesn’t say a word as we can hear what seems like shouting coming from the phone as Frankie to tear up from whatever the person on the other side is saying.
Frankie: Fine….I’ll get him for you.
Placing the phone down on the desk, a weeping Frankie makes his way over to the bathroom door, which he opens up as we see Scottywood sitting on the toilet. He looks up and seems the camera pointing at him as shock and realization sets in.
Scottywood: What the fuck Frankie!?!
Kicking the door shut in anger we see Frankie walk back to the desk, not even really realizing what he has done as he continues to cry. A few moments later the bathroom door reopens as we can hear the toilet flushing and see an obviously pissed off Scottywood making his way out and back over to his desk.
Scottywood: Who the fuck opens the door when they know someone is in the fuckin bathroom?!? Can’t anything be private in this damn place? And who is on the damn phone?
Frankie tries to answer Scotty but he can’t seem to stop crying to make out any words. Scotty just shakes his head as he puts the phone on speaker.
Scottywood: Hey, this is Scottywood, who the hell am I talking to?
The voice next is unmistakenable as Scotty’s anger turns to pleasant surprise.
Lee Best: It’s me numb nuts. Since when does your cameraman answer your office phone?
Scottywood: I was in the bathroom….
Lee Best: Ya, I saw you sitting down like a little g…
Scottywood: Shut it Lee, it’s really getting old, just tell me what’s up? How did the trial go today? Nobody can give me any real updates.
Lee Best: They have a gag order on it, so I can’t say anything more then what airs….but I did call for a reason, and it’s about your Tag Team titles.
Scottywood: Ya? What about them?
Lee Best: Frankie? Out of all the people you could have picked to team with you last week you picked Frankie? If I had known you that I would have sent Shocker over, or told Benny to lace them up again.
Scottywood: Well he didn’t cost me the match, so it could have gone a lot worse.
Lee Best: True, but the fact is I can’t have a fuckin’ cameraman holding a title in my company, it is just embarrassing. So I told him I am stripping him of the title, and telling you to go find a new tag team partner, or someone will be appointed for you…
Frankie continues to sob uncontrollably as Scotty looks over at him and just shakes his head, not really seeming to be that distraught that Frankie is no longer Tag Team champion.
Scottywood: I’ll find someone, don’t you worry. There are plenty of people that want to tag with The Hardcore Artist.
Lee Best: Fine, just make sure it isn’t the fuckin’ janitor or a referee.
Scottywood: Haha, real funny.
Lee Best: No bathroom attendants either consider all the time you….
Scottywood: I’ll find a real wrestler, don’t worry.
Lee Best: Fine, get to it then. I’ll be watching.
Hanging up the phone on Lee we see The Hardcore Artist grab both the Tag Team titles from his desk, leaving Frankie on the couch crying as he heads for the door way.
Scottywood: Hey, you held it for seven days….at least you can say your as good as Ryan Faze….actually better since you hold a win over him too. Think of that Ryan…You may make fun of me for sitting down to piss…but you got beat by a guy who sits down to piss AND a cameraman.
Frankie: Takes my…my title. Took my….eye. I hate….you Lee!
Scottywood: I lost my title….I got stabbed in the eye….cry me a fuckin’ river. I’m the one that should be mad. I have to find a tag team partner amongst all these freaks.
Opening his door he walks out into the hallway where we see David Black walk down the hallway.
Scottywood: Hey David! I was wondering if you…
He pauses as he spots the women’s panties in his hand and takes a step back.
David keeps on walking as Scottywood shakes his head.
He continues shaking his head as he closes the door behind him and we cut back to Joe and Benny at ringside.
Christopher America vs. Leon Booth
Cutting back to ringside we hear “Remember to Feel Real” by Armor For Sleep playing and see Leon Booth from Defiance Wrestling standing in the ring, getting a negative reaction, much like his fellow Defiance member Justin Brooks did early.
Bryan McVay: The following is a Best Invitational match, now in the ring from Roswell, Georgia and weighing 252 pounds….Leon Boo
Before McVay can even finish saying Booth’s name we hear “Remember The Name” by Fort Minor play as surprisingly cheers are heard as we see Christopher America appear on the stage.
Joe Hoffman: This is his first match in months Benny, Christopher America making his HOW in ring return tonight!
Benny Newell: That’s if he can even make it to the ring.
America does seem to be taking his time getting to the ring, looking at each person in the front row of the crowd as he walks by them, seemingly nervous about who each one of them could be.
Joe Hoffman: As we have learned, America is suffering from a bit of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Hopefully it won’t affect him much during this match tonight.
Bryan McVay: And his opponent from America, and weighing in at 235 pounds…Christopher America!!!
Chris makes his way into the ring and seems to calm down as he looks straight at the man allegedly a descendant of John Wilkes Booth, the man who assassinated President Abraham Lincoln. Matt Boettcher calls for the bell as America and Booth quickly lock up as America gets the upper hand and throws Booth to the mat and follows it up with a hard kick to the head when he tries to sit up.
Joe Hoffman: Those nerves of America’s seem to have gone away quickly after setting his sights on Leon Booth.
Benny Newell: It’s like when you’re nervous to sleep with a beautiful girl, once ya get it in….
Joe Hoffman: Thank you Benny for that attempted comparison.
Benny Newell: Never sleep with a beautiful girl before?
Hoffman doesn’t even answer as a dazed Booth gets back up to his feet and America wastes no time locking in a cobra clutch backbreaker on Booth as the crowd erupts in cheers.
Joe Hoffman: American Dream!
Benny Newell: Choke him out!
Booth struggles to try and free himself from the move but America has it locked in and Booth has no choice but to tap out at Boettcher calls for the bell to end the match.
Bryan McVay: The winner of this match by Submission….Christopher America!!
America doesn’t want to let go of the hold as he continues to choke the life out of Booth who passes out from the hold as Boettcher finally manages to pry America off of Booth.
Joe Hoffman: Well a quick win by America puts him atop of the Lee Best group with Michael DeNucci with 3 points, and I am getting word that Leon Booth will be getting negative five points for last under a minute in the match.
Benny Newell: Ha! Negative five points….suck for him.
Joe Hoffman: Indeed it does, that will drop him to dead last in the Lee Best group, and make it extremely tough for him to advance to the next round.
Benny Newell: So you think America got it’s revenge on the Booth family tonight with this win?
Joe Hoffman: Dead President vs. Christopher America win……No, not even close.
Unstable Sanity of America
Christopher America rolls out of the ring and makes his way over to Bryan McVay who he grabs the microphone from and begins pointing at Leon Booth. He is breathing heavily and has a semi-distant look in his eyes.
Christopher: See! I knew you commies were behind what happened to Abraham Lincoln. This is my vengeance! This is HIS vengeance!
Christopher chuckles. Then, begins again with a large smile on his face.
Christopher: I! I’m the one who took down the U.S.S.R.’s last secret operative! They all told me I was crazy when I said that you were communist but I proved it right here. You, wishing to triumph over America? That’s insane!
Someone in the crowd blows a bull horn.
Christopher’s face grows solemn and somewhat frightened. He drops down to the fetal position with his head tucked under his arms. The microphone lands with a loud thud next to him.
Christopher begins to scream.
Christopher: THE SIREN! THEY’VE FOUND US! GET DOWN! GET DOWN!
EMTs rush down to ringside and try to usher America to the back.
Joe Hoffman: I think I’m at a loss for words at what just happened.
Benny Newell: America finally snapped. It’s about time. All that Americany American America-shit, he was bound to snap. I almost snapped just trying to think about it.
Joe Hoffman: How is this going to impact the HOFC bout between America and Denucci…and how stable will America be for the big Kirsta Lewis vs. DeNucci bout?
Benny Newell: Here’s a preview, numbnuts. I’m America! I’m Denucci! America cries. Denucci wins. Kirsta sucks my dick. I drink. And for one brief second, all is right with the world.
Will any of the Alliance win a match in the Invitational?
An Annoyed Sparrow
:::Backstage in the Kallisten Arena. Brian B.A.R.E. is standing in front of locker room of Simon Sparrow for the second week in a row. Brian B.A.R.E. rubs his nose and sniffs incessantly before knocking on the door. The door swings open revealing Louis the Little Person wearing a white double breasted suit, black tie, and black shoes. Louis the Little Person glares at the HOW interviewer.:::
Brian B.A.R.E.: I don’t want any trouble! I just want to—
Louis the Little Person: Hold on one second.
::::Louis the Little Person goes back in the locker room for a moment as Brian B.A.R.E. sighs in relief before Louis re-emerges with a sledgehammer.:::
Louis the Little Person: What did I tell you about coming around here? You must have a death wish!
::::Brian B.A.R.E. takes a couple of steps back in fear as Louis the Little Person lifts up the sledgehammer. He goes to bring the hammer down but Simon Sparrow appears in the doorway and takes hold of it and yanks it out of Louis the Little Person’s hands. Louis the Little Person turns and kicks Simon Sparrow in the shin.:::
Simon Sparrow: OW!!!
Louis the Little Person: What the hell do you think you’re doing?
Simon Sparrow: Isn’t it obvious?
Louis the Little Person: This turd should know better than to disrupt your alone time!
Simon Sparrow: What did I tell you?
Louis the Little Person: That you hope either Boston Rob or Russell win “Survivor: Heroes versus Villains”.
Simon Sparrow: Not that! What did I tell you about attacking the staff?
Louis the Little Person: That it would generate negative publicity which would mean no one would end up joining the Brotherhood of the Sparrow.
Simon Sparrow: Exactly.
::::Louis the Little Person points over to Brian B.A.R.E..:::
Louis the Little Person: But this douche bag doesn’t count! He’s a drug addict and a douche!
Brian B.A.R.E.: I AM NOT!!!
Simon Sparrow: Louis…please wait in the locker room.
Louis the Little Person: NO!!!
Simon Sparrow: Will you at least wait in the doorway?
Louis the Little Person: NO!!!!!
Simon Sparrow: How about just standing five feet away from Brian?
:::Louis the Little Person thinks for a few seconds before reluctantly moving several steps to his right, away from Brian B.A.R.E.. Simon Sparrow turns to the HOW Interviewer.:::
Simon Sparrow: Sorry about Louis. He’s had too much coffee. He gets a little….wired.
Brian B.A.R.E.: Yes….um….well….Simon Sparrow, earlier in the week HOWrestling.com announced that Mike Best has ordered Aceldama to thank you for your part in helping him retain the HOW Championship back at “Rumble at the Rock”. Reports confirm that Aceldama has reluctantly agreed but only on his terms. Will you accept?
Simon Sparrow: Brian, let me ask you a couple of questions. How long ago was “Rumble at the Rock”? Why does Mike Best suddenly care that the HOW Champion thank me? Could it be due to the fact that I was testifying the Lee Best trial? The timing seems all too….convenient. It appears to me that Mike Best was trying to appease me before testifying. No doubt to sway my testimony in his favor. Did it work? You’ll have to see the testimony I provided later tonight.
Brian B.A.R.E.: But what about the apology? Will you accept Aceldama’s terms?
Simon Sparrow: That brings me to my second point, Brian. After “Rumble at the Rock”, Herr Wolfgang Bruggemann came out in front of the world seeking redemption for his past….crimes. Pledging to right the wrongs of his past. Louis….
:::Simon Sparrow turns to Louis the Little Person.:::
Simon Sparrow: What was the term you used to describe Herr Bruggemann’s search for redemption?
Louis the Little Person: BULLSHIT!!!!
Simon Sparrow: Thank—
Louis the Little Person: DIRTY MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT!!! IF HE WERE HERE RIGHT NOW, I’D TAKE MY SLEDGEHAMMER AND DESTROY EVERY BONE IN HIS FOOT!!! I WOULD POUND THE BONES INTO A FINE POW—
Simon Sparrow: THAT’S ENOUGH!!!
Louis the Little Person: Sorry.
:::Simon Sparrow turns back to Brian B.A.R.E.:::
Simon Sparrow: You see, Brian….if a man who has caused so much pain and misery in his life really wanted to change…if he really wanted redemption, wouldn’t he AT THE VERY LEAST thank you for any help you may have provided him?
Brian B.A.R.E.: I suppose.
Simon Sparrow: That being said, there is a part of me who wants to believe Her Bruggemann. There is a part of me that wants to give him a chance, which is why I have decided to meet with Wolfgang Bruggemann, face-to-face, later tonight and hear him out. Bear in mind, any apology that I receive from him that I perceive to be disingenuous in any way, I will outright REFUSE to his face. Rest assured, no matter what happens, my crusade to relieve the HOW Championship from that could-be sociopath and bring integrity back to title will still forge ahead. He likes to say there’s no one worthy of facing him in the HOW….Well, when I win the Best Invitational, I will prove that it is Herr Bruggemann who is not in MY league!
Brian B.A.R.E.: Speaking of championships….Have you decided what to do about the contract to face any champion in the HOW?
Simon Sparrow: I very close to making a decision on which champion I will target. What I can tell you is that I will NOT use my contract on the HOFC Title. While Michael DeNucci is an arrogant fame whore, the HOFC Title would mean that my new home would be Mayhem. Which would mean working under Scottywood. Working for a snivelling, arrogant, grease ball like him just does not sit well with me.
Speaking of Scottywood, I have also eliminated the Tag Team Championships from the list. While I’m sure there’s a lot of people who just love for me to take that hockey stick and shove it up that power abusing egomaniac’s backside, there’s no one I can completely trust to have my back in a tag team situation.
:::Louis the Little Person steps forward.:::
Louis the Little Person: What about me???
:::Simon Sparrow turns to Louis the Little Person and then turns back to Brian B.A.R.E.:::
Simon Sparrow: Like I said, there’s no one I can completely trust to have my back in a tag team situation.
::::Louis the Little Person glares at Sparrow.:::
Simon Sparrow: That leaves the HOW Championship, the ICON Championship, and the LSD Title. Later tonight, there will be a triple threat match between those three champions: Wolfgang Bruggemann, Max Kael, and Tim Shipley. The results of the match will go a long way in helping me make my final decision.
Brian B.A.R.E.: Really?
Simon Sparrow: Absolutely. I know the majority are dying to see me take on Max Kael….and as of last week, that was my plan. But then Kael bought the Internet Championship. He didn’t EARN it….he BOUGHT it. The fact that a championship can be bought and sold invalidates the prestige the title once held. A title that symbolized my struggles early on in the HOW. Remember, I debuted losing four straight matches before winning that title. It infuriates me that he bought it. It infuriates me that Mike Best handed it over to him. And it infuriates me at how Mike Best has shown me nothing but contempt and disrespect.
So then it occurred to me, why waste my time on Max Kael? Wouldn’t that be allowing him to get under my skin? Why not Tim Shipley? I haven’t held the LSD Title before. The LSD title cannot be bought. Besides, Tim Shipley is the only person in tonight’s main event who exhibits the characteristics of what a true champion should be! Why not face off against someone I respect?
That being said, I will not allow public opinion or the actions of Wolfgang Bruggemann, Max Kael, and Mike Best to determine my fate….I am a man of destiny. I have decided to allow fate to determine my…..fate.
Brian B.A.R.E.: Are you saying that you will use your guaranteed contract to take on the winner of tonight’s main event?
Simon Sparrow: You cannot escape destiny. That is all.
::::Simon Sparrow returns to his locker room followed by Louis the Little Person, who flips Brian B.A.R.E. the middle finger before closing the door on him to end the scene.::::
Joe Hoffman: Well folks that is not the last we will see of one Simon Sparrow has I have just heard from the boys in the back that we will finally get to see Sparrow’s testimony from earlier today in the Lee Best trial…and that will be later tonight!
Benny Newell: I want it now dammit…you know Sparrow is gonna be the man that frees Lee!
Joe Hoffman: We will have to find out…but now its time for another Invitational Match…
Brothers of the Beast vs. The Maurako Family
Tag Team Match
“Ego” by Element Eighty begins to play as Matteo emerges from the back wearing a crown and waiving The Maurako Island Flag. Matteo is soon followed by Martino in a long green robe, and Mosé who is sporting a red and green boa. The Chicago crowd boos as The Maurako Family makes it’s way to the ring. Martino grabs a microphone as he walks up the ring steps and enters the ring.
Martino: King Matteo has some very important words to share, so I need all of you idiots in the Kallisen Cunt-a-seum to shut your mouths. Get on your hands and knees and bow before the King of Maurako Island.
The crowd boos loudly as Martino trades the microphone for the Maurako Island flag, and Martino starts to waive the flag.
Matteo: Hear ye, Hear ye! As the King of Maurako Island I would just like to take a moment to wish our dearest friend Bobbinette Carey a speedy recovery. And just as a token of our appreciation for Bobbinette Carey we are going to dedicate this match to her.
Boos rain down as Matteo passes the microphone to Mosé.
Mosé: LONG LIVE KING MATTEO!
“Headstrong” by Trapt hits and Jacob Morgan & The Reverend Tyson Ross make their way toward the ring as The Maurako’s prepare themselves for the start of the match.
Bryan McVay: The following Tag Team match is scheduled for one fall. Coming down the isle weighting in at a combined weight of 604lbs. From Reno, Nevada…. Jacob Morgan & Tyson Ross… THE BROTHERS OF THE BEAST!
The Brothers of the Beast enter the ring minus Jason Midnight who is not with them tonight. The Brothers of the Beast take their spot on one side of the ring as The Maurako Family re-enters the ring and stand in the opposite corner, leaving Bryan McVay standing between the two teams.
Bryan McVay: And their opponents… from Maurako Island. They weighted in at a combined weight of 366lbs and are accompanied by King Matteo. They are Martino & Mosé… THE MAURAKO FAMILY!
The bell rings and Martino & Jacob Morgan are going to start things off. The two opponents circle each other in the middle of the ring and then hook up in a collar and elbow tie up. Jacob Morgan easily over-powers Martino and pushes him backwards sending Martino to the mat. Martino quickly gets up and charges at Jacob Morgan, landing an elbow to the side of the head. Martino quickly lands a series of the elbows as he backs Morgan up to the ropes. Martino goes to whip Morgan to the ropes but Morgan reverses it and clobbers Martino with a big boot on the way back.
Joe Hoffman: Well it would certainly appear as if Martino is struggling against the much bigger Jason Morgan.
Benny Newell: I’m more interested in the Maurako Member that isn’t here.
Joe Hoffman: Mario is a disgrace to the human race.
Benny Newell: But he’s fucking good at it.
Joe Hoffman: But I have been told that we are going to have a few words from him momentarily.
Benny Newell: I for one can’t wait. He probably has to finish getting his blow job from Bobbinette Carey.
Joe Hoffman: Despicable.
Martino begs off Jacob Morgan while sitting on the canvas and scooting backwards until Martino backs into the turnbuckle. Martino slowly stands up and continues to beg as Jacob Morgan points to the corner. Martino turns around to see that he’s in the wrong corner and he gets clocked by Tyson Ross. Morgan tags Ross in and grabs a hold of Martino by the head and pulls him to the center of the ropes. Ross walks over and they send Martino off the ropes and land a double back body drop on Martino.
Joe Hoffman: It’s been all Brothers of the Beast so far. Martino can’t seem to get anything going.
Benny Newell: Well they dedicated this match to Bobbinette Carey so he better get his head out of his ass.
Morgan takes his place on the apron as Ross picks Martino up from the canvas. Matteo yells at Martino from ringside as Ross hooks Martino up for a Suplex. Ross goes to lift Martino up but Martino blocks by the suplex attempt. Tyson Ross goes for it again but it is again blocked. Martino quickly punches Ross in the side and then counters out of the suplex position and drives Ross to the mat with an arm bar and quickly clamps on a cross face.
Joe Hoffman: Martino is starting to get it going now, getting back to the basics.
Benny Newell: Is it time for Mario yet?
Joe Hoffman: I am getting word that we have a camera man out at St. Joseph Hospital with Mario Maurako & Bobbinette Carey. Mario are you there?
Mario Maurako appears on the HOV and in a little square at the bottom corner of TV sets all across America.
Mario: Yeah I hear you Hoffman, and why don’t you do me a favor and take some time off.
The camera on Mario pans out showing Mario standing at the bedside of Bobbinette Carey whose eyes are glued to a TV watching Turmoil.
Mario: I would just like to thank my Dad Matteo and the rest of The Family for working through this with us.
Bobbinette: I’m extremely touched that they would honor me by dedicating this match to me.
Back in the ring Ross is back to his feet after Morgan broke up the cross-face, and now Martino is tagging out to Mosé. Mosé quickly climbs the turnbuckle and when Ross has made it to his feet he leaps off and hit’s a flying neck breaker.
Mario: Did you see that move right there Carey?
Mario: That right there was one of your old wrestling moves.
Bobbinette: Aww how sweet. What was that one called?
Mario: I think you used to call that one Royal Flight.
Bobbinette: Royal? Was I a Princess or a Queen?
Mario: Just the Queen of my heart dear.
Bobbinette: You’re too much Mario.
Mosé quickly gets up and bounces off the ropes and hit’s a senton on Ross. Ross rolls over and gets up to his hands and knees trying to get up and Mosé continues his assault on Ross pounding knee after knee into the head and face of Tyson Ross.
Mario: And look at the future of The Maurako Family go to town right there on Tyson Ross. And it’s all for you Carey-Bear.
Tyson Ross finally gets to his feet and Mosé darts off for the ropes again and attempts a running drop kick but is swatted away by Ross. Mosé quickly gets back to his feet and Ross gives chase but Mosé tags back out to Martino and Ross backs off.
Bobbinette: I’m glad Mosé got out of there, that other guy would have killed him.
Mario: Don’t worry Bobbinette, Mosé is a Maurako and he is a smart cookie for a 16 year old.
Martino and Ross hook up in a collar and elbow tie up that Martino turns into a standing side headlock. Ross uses his body weight and backs Martino up to the ropes and then pushes him off sending him to the ropes and then nailing a super kick. Ross tags out to Morgan enters the ring and lands an elbow drop on Martino. Morgan picks Martino up from the canvas and pushes him to an open corner and unleashes a series of resounding chops to the chest.
Bobbinette: So this is the kind of stuff I used to do?
Mario: Well it was.
Bobbinette: I though you said I was a wrestler.
Mario: You are, but you moved to the HOFC Division dear. It’s like a mixed martial arts style.
Bobbinette: And I’m good at that?
Mario: Well let’s just say you’re extremely physical. It’s what I like about you.
Bobbinette blushes as Morgan hit’s a bulldog out of the corner on Martino. As Morgan gets to his feet he is hit by a missile drop kick from Mosé that has absolutely no affect. Morgan grabs Mosé with both hands and lifts him into the air and hit’s a double handed choke slam. Tyson Ross enters the ring and goes to help Morgan but Martino locks in a Million Dollar Dream hold that he calls The Coat of Arms.
Mario: Oh here we go Carey-Bear, it’s the Coat of Arms there by Martino. This could be over… oh wait, that’s the illegal man. Well then it’s just going to be entertaining.
Morgan goes to bounce off the ropes but they’re pulled down by Matteo and Morgan topples over and to the ground. Matteo climbs on top of Morgan and chokes him with the Maurako Island flag while Joel Hoertega is distracted by the action going on in the ring. Martino still has Ross locked in the Coat of Arms as Mosé gets to his feet. Mosé hit’s a Super Kick on Ross as Martino suplex’s him backwards at the same time. Martino covers Ross but Hoertega is quick to point out that Ross isn’t legal.
Mario: No Martino, can’t pin that one.
Bobbinette: Honey, you’re starting to worry me.
Mario: Sorry Carey-Bear I just want them to win this one for you.
Martino looks up at the HOV screen and shrugs his shoulders after hearing Mario. Matteo has since left Morgan and moved to another side of the ring and is now waving The Maurako Island flag as Morgan gets to his feet. Mosé vaults over the top rope but is caught by Morgan and body slammed to the mat.
Morgan climbs back into the ring and stands across from Martino, and Martino turns around just in time to get speared by Jacob Morgan. Morgan covers Martino as Joel Hoertega registers the count.
Mario: That a boy Martino!
Bobbinette: That was a close one.
Jacob Morgan gazes at Hoertega from his knees as Matteo climbs up on the ring apron and starts yelling at Hoertega. Mosé claps loudly as he enters the ring and walks up behind Morgan and clamps on a Cross-Face Chicken Wing on Jacob Morgan. Matteo jumps down from the ring apron and Hoertega turns around to see the chaos that has evolved while he wasn’t looking.
Mario: There it is! Is Morgan going to give up?
Hoertega is checking on Morgan but Morgan doesn’t appear to be moving. Hoertega lifts the arm of Morgan and it drops.
Hoertega checks it a second time and it drops again.
Hoertega checks it a third time and it falls again.
Bryan McVay: Here is your winner via Submission…. THE MAURAKO FAMILY!!!
Mario: There you have it Carey-Bear a win… and it was all just for you.
Bobbinette: That was the nicest thing that anyone has ever done for me. I can clearly see why I loved you so much.
Mario: We would only do it for you Carey… and hopefully next week both of us can be at Turmoil live and in person. You know… I’ve always wanted to do this. Now back to you Hoffman and Benny.
Joe Hoffman: Well Mario is no Hall of Fame announcer that is for sure.
Benny Newell: What are you talking about?! That was fucking awesome!
Joe Hoffman: Right..well anyway the Maurako Family has 3 pts now and the Brothers drop down to a negative one….but moving on…right now its time to pay some bills, we’ll be right back.
Next week the HOR will bring to you news from the Ewzine Universe!
What the Fuck?
A man climbs into the ring wearing a plain blue denim shirt and a pair of crotch hugging shorts. He is accompanied by six paramilitary guards dressed in all black and wielding semi-automatic weapons.
Benny: “Who the hell is this?”
Man: “Good evening. My name is…
Benny: “Generalissimo fucking who? DRINK!”
Gen. Tomas: ” You can call me…Generalissimo Tomas. I am the duly elected dictator of the lovely island of Puerto De Macoris……er hold on.”
Generalissimo Tomas takes out a tooth ‘sword’ and furiously flosses his teeth with it
Gen. Tomas: “There better. Now…if Dawn McGill…or you may know her as the Demolition Machine in a Short Skirt,’ McGillah Gorilla, the Jolly Pink Giant. Whatever. If she would come out here at this time for this very, very important moment.”
Joe: “I wonder what this is all about.”
Benny: “Great shorts. DRINK!”
A very confused Dawn McGill slowly makes her way out to the ring, dressed and ready for her upcoming match. She climbs in under the bottom rope and looks at Generalissimo Tomas quizzically.
Dawn: “Generalissimo Tomas? What are you doing here? I’ve got a match in just a couple moments.”
Gen. Tomas: “Ah yes.”
He pulls out a folded up piece of paper from his shorts. Generalissimo Tomas unfolds the paper and tries to smooth it out.
Gen. Tomas: “I typed this out in Times-New Roman print because it’s the only morally correct font.”
Dawn: “I see. Look Generalissimo, I don’t mean to be rude here but I do have a-”
He goes to one knee and pulls out what appears to be a ring box.
Joe: “Oh my God. He’s not doing what I think he’s doing?”
Benny: “He’s making a big mistake? Missy Andrews is ten times hotter than Dawn McGill. Have you seen Missy topless? DRINK!”
Gen. Tomas: “Um…ever since the day that I had you forcibly abducted and put on a plane to Puerto De Macoris against your will, I must admit that I’ve fallen for you.”
Dawn’s eyes widen.
Gen. Tomas: “So…it came to me after I had a woman summarily executed for going through the express lane, 12 item limit, with fourteen items when I was behind her- I was in a bit of a hurry that day, that it was nice to have you down in Puerto De Macoris at the WWR Supershow II last month. So…I guess…”
He opens the box. It contains a ring with a healthy looking rock on it.
Gen. Tomas: “…will you marry me?”
Dawn’s jaw drops. She looks at once shocked and aghast.
“I-ya…I-ya…hold on a second.”
Dawn slides out of the ring and runs over to the HOW broadcast table.
Dawn: “Excuse me. I need to borrow this for a second.”
Dawn rips Benny’s flask right out of his hands and proceeds to chug down the last of the Jack Daniels inside. Then she hands it back to him.
Benny: “What the- She drank the rest of my Jack Daniels!”
She climbs back into the ring. Generalissimo Tomas waits patiently, flossing his teeth with the tooth sword once again.
Dawn: “You want to marry…me?”
Generalissimo Tomas nods.
Dawn: “You want me to marry…you?”
Benny: “DUH! DRINK! Oh…that’s right. Someone else DRANK FOR ME!”
Generalissimo Tomas nods again.
Dawn bites her lip and shifts the balance back and forth between her left and right foot.
Dawn: “Sure……what the hell!”
Joe: “SHE SAID YES!”
Generalissimo Tomas puts the engagment ring on Dawn’s finger.
Gen. Tomas: “And now my lovely wife-to-be, I have an engagement present for you. Close your eyes.”
She closes her eyes. Five paramilitary guards climb into the ring.
Gen. Tomas: “You can open them now.”
Dawn opens her eyes and sees the guards in front of her.
Dawn: “Oh, how sweet! You got me my own paramilitary guards!”
Gen. Tomas: “Yes, dear. You cannot be too safe. Especially since I saw Mike Polooowey in the building tonight.”
Benny: “HEY! WHERE’S MY PARAMILITARY GUARDS?”
Joe: “Let’s go to a commercial break.”
An Effing Shadow
The cameras quickly cut to the backstage where HOW interviewer Missy Andrews is standing next to Effing Holmes dressed in jeans and a badly worn t-shirt. Holmes bounds on his heels for a moment, a scowl on his face and seemingly restless as Andrews turns to the camera.
Andrews: I’m here tonight with Effing Holmes. Holmes last week you suffered a loss against Chris Jacobs in the Lee Best Invitational thanks, in large part, to your own actions. What made you think you could get away with what you did last week?
Holmes: Listen Missy, last week was-
Holmes is suddenly cut off by the butt of an axe handle slamming into the center of his chest. Holmes howls in pain as the camera pans back, revealing the attacker to be Ethan Cavanaugh! Andrews scurries away as Cavanaugh swings the axe handle again, connecting with a loud crunch into Holmes’ chest. Holmes stumbles to a knee, holding his chest in pain. Cavanaugh straightens his black coat before rearing back, swinging again at the jaw of Holmes. A thin line of blood streaks the wall near them as Holmes his
Cavanaugh: [sneering] Get up. Aren’t you here to prove something? Aren’t you here fuck to prove something you fuck?!
Cavanaugh pushes the cameraman out of his way as Holmes tries to pull himself to his feet. Cavanaugh stops him with a kick to the ribs, sending Holmes spiraling back to the ground. The camera fumbles and backs up, getting a good enough place to see both Cavanaugh and Holmes as Holmes, again tries to pull himself up using the nearby wall. Cavanaugh shakes his head and spins the axe handle in his grip, watching Holmes pull upward before collapsing back down to a knee- the damage to his chest enough. Holmes coughs out another mouthful of blood as Cavanaugh looms over him.
Cavanaugh: You… [shakes his head] What the fuck did you ever earn?
Cavanaugh rears back and connects onto the collar of Holmes, getting another audible crack. Holmes grunts in pain loudly, holding his right arm where the handle snapped the bones. Cavanaugh, for his part, tosses the axe handle to the side with a loud clattering and yanks Holmes to his feet by the back of his shirt. The camera follows behind Cavanaugh as he half-drags Holmes towards a door at the other end of the room and kicks it open, a blast of cold air from the garage down the stairs nearly knocking the cameraman to his ass. Instead he remains standing and circles to see Cavanaugh rear back and hurl Holmes through the door. Holmes immediately stumbles but the cameraman can only catch the noise of his body tumbling down the flight of stairs. The scen focuses on Cavanaugh as the door swings close and he again straightens his coat.
Cavanaugh: And not a moment too soon.
Cavanaugh brushes a few stray hairs back as he walks back down to Missy Andrews, frozen to her spot as Cavanaugh stands next to her. A slight tremble is noticeable as Cavanaugh reaches down and pulls up her hand that’s holding the microphone so that it is in front of her face again.
Cavanaugh: So, I believe you were going to ask me something?
Andrews stutters, unable to form a cohesive sentence which brings a look of annoyance to Cavanaugh’s face.
Cavanaugh: Well I’ve been gone for months representing High Octane Wrestling here and overseas. Surely you must have something to say.
Andrews again tries to say something but before she can get too far Cavanaugh snatches the microphone away from her.
Cavanaugh: Forget it. Fuck off.
Cavanaugh shoves Andrews roughly off-scene, watching her stumble away before turning back to the camera; a ruthless scowl on his face.
Cavanaugh: Michael Best. I will say that when I first heard that you were taking your brother’s place here, I was interested. After all, Lee Best was Lee Best and that was all. However, you haven’t been much of an improvement have you? This tournament, this brainchild of yours, is supposed to feature the best of the best in H O W! So maybe you can explain what the fuck was that?!
Cavanaugh grits his teeth, pacing as the camera zooms.
Cavanaugh: I spilled blood in HOW. I’ve endured in HOW. I’ve represented HOW here and across the world….and I am not even worth a phone call? I’m not even worth a Twitter? Some random drunkard with a little Internet following gets to break your talent’s nose and cause chaos; but a real wrestler has to sit at home and watch you brag every week about how you’re not Lee Best. Since, apparently, you’d put anyone and everyone above your own roster. So, Mr. Best, Mr. NEW Best, apparently one of your substandard entertainers has come down with a bit of a cold. I wonder how many others get…sick…before you get an eye for REAL talent.
Cavanaugh drops the mic and shoves past the camera, the scene following Cavanaugh’s back as he goes down the hall
Can Cobra break the losing streak for Defiance here in the Invitational??
Cobra vs. Dawn McGill
Joe Hoffman: Well we’re back and if you’re just joining us we just witnessed out first proposal of 2010. General Thomas popped the big question to Dawn McGill just moments ago…
Benny Newell: And like a fool she said yes….AND drank all my Jack!
Joe Hoffman: Oh shut up, they brought you down a whole new bottle.
Benny Newell: That’s not the point, I was without any alcohol for a good 5 minutes!
Joe Hoffman: Anyhow, the paramilitary guards have been escorted backstage and General Thomas has taken a front row seat and we are now just waiting on Defiance’s Cobra to make his way out here.
Benny Newell: This guy creeps me out….runs some kind of serpent religion and have you seen his eyes?
Bryan McVay: The following is a Best Invitational match and is scheduled for one fall. Now in the ring from Morenci, Michigan and weighing in at 173 pounds….Dawn McGill!!
“Whenever I May Roam” by Metallica starts. The intro to the song is played with no movement from backstage. Once the song starts to kick in, Cobra busts through the curtain and looks up at all the fans with his arms stretched out at his side. He takes in the moment and starts to head to the ring with the music continuing in the background.
Bryan McVay: Now making his way from Death Valley, California and weighing in at 245 pounds…..Cobra!!
Joe Hoffman: Here he is, the last hope for Defiance to not be shut out in the first round of the invitational.
Benny Newell: Jimmy Kort, Justin Brooks, Leon Booth….and soon Cobra will have their reality checked as HOW shows them just who IS superior.
Once at ringside, Cobra dives into the ring and “slithers” his way across the ring to the center. He then pops up from the ground and spins looking at all his followers….or more like booing HOW fans.
Crowd: DAWN’S GOING TO KILL YOU! (clap clap clap-clap-clap) DAWN’S GOING TO KILL YOU! (clap clap clap-clap-clap)
Joe Hoffman: Well our Chicago fans hold nothing back, and you can hear what they hope Dawn will do in the ring.
Benny Newell: Dawns going to kill you!…..Sorry Joe, it’s catchy.
We hear the bell that Boettcher has called for as Cobra and McGill waste little time locking up as the match starts with some back and forth wrestling, both trying to gain a substantial advantage over the other. Cobra using his lucha background tries to catch McGill off guard but the she counters with a few martial arts moves to keep Cobra at bay.
Joe Hoffman: Neither wrestler wanting to make the first big mistake in this match, a lot is on the line. One’s invitational run can be made or broken in the first match.
Benny Newell: The more I drink….I more I forget Cobra isn’t a real snake….or from G.I. Joe….G.I. Joe Hoffman!
Joe Hoffman: Stop drinking straight from the bottle Benny. We still have 3 more matches tonight.
McGill catches the first break of the match as she counters a hurricaranna attempt by Cobra into a powerbomb that lays the Defiance star out on the mat and let’s McGill go for the pin.
Joe Hoffman: Defiance a second away from going 0-4 here in HOW.
Benny Newell: Might as well say 0-12, cause they aren’t beating ANYONE here in HOW.
Cobra gets the shoulder up as McGill goes for the testicular claw while Cobra is vulnerable, but Cobra grabs McGill’s hand and forces it away as he connects with a hard right hand. They both get back to their feet, but Cobra beats McGill by a second and springboards off the ropes and hits McGill with a rolling kick that knocks the six foot demolition machine down to the mat. With McGill down he quickly hops up to the top turnbuckle and launches off for a frog splash, but McGill gets her knee’s up and Cobra is stopped right in his tracks.
Benny Newell: Crash and burn for Cobra, can he slither back into this match?
Joe Hoffman: Really? Slither back into the match?
Benny Newell: G.I. JOE!!!
The two get back to their feet and this time McGill gets the advantage with a spinning heel kick that knocks Cobra back down as McGill now goes up to the high rent district and comes off with an elbow drop that connects. She stalks Cobra who is slow to pull himself to his feet, but as he does McGill swings with a back fist that he ducks, but referee Boettcher catches it and goes down hard. Cobra tries to come back with jab of his own but McGill dodges that and takes Cobra down with a straight kick to the head.
Joe Hoffman: Wrong place, wring time for Boettcher. He takes a hard shot from McGill who was trying to take Cobra’s head off.
Benny Newell: Look! General creepy mother fucker is up….and he has a Singapore cane in hand.
General Thomas does indeed have a cane in hand, which he tosses from his seat to McGill in the ring. Her eyes light up as she catches the cane and as Cobra gets up and turns around and swings for the fences but Cobra ducks the cane.
Benny Newell: Swing and a miss, no steroids equals no homerun….that’s a lesson for all you kids.
McGill spins around and gets a boot to the gut which causes her to drop her cane asCobra lifts her put and takes a few quick running steps before planting her with a tigerbomb in the middle of the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Snakebite!
Benny Newell: Snake?! Where?
Joe Hoffman: Cobra going for the pin to end this match here.
We hear the bell ring as boos can be heard through the coliseum and we see Boettcher raise Cobra’s arm in victory.
Bryan McVay: The winner of this match….Cobra!!
Joe Hoffman: Well Cobra ends the Defiance shut out in the Invitational and gets himself three points in the Lynx group, tying him with Graystone for the lead. As Dawn falls to third with Tim Shipley at negative one point.
Benny Newell: The cobra bit Dawn too? Keep it away from me!
Joe Hoffman: Were gonna sober Benny up some as we head backstage…
A Decent State of Mind
Cheers, screams and roars of excitement can be heard within the Kallisten Coliseum as Santoro furiously paces back and forth just outside the arena. His face tells the story of his concern, his thoughts specifically dwelling on the whereabouts of Justin Decent. Santoro hasn’t seen Justin since January 11th, the night he was carried off by a legion of wild sparrows into the darkness of night. Unable to contact Justin, Santoro’s only recourse has been to hope and pray he shows up for his match against Simon Sparrow tonight. During the course of Santoro’s pacing he is joined outside by none other than Missy Andrews, who appears to be getting some fresh air herself. She gives him a questioning look and makes an inquiry.
Missy Andrews: Aren’t you…Santoro is it? Justin Decent’s manager?
Santoro: Yeah, but my friends call me…Santoro. You can call me…Santoro.
Missy Andrews: I’ll keep that in mind. Where is Justin? He has a pretty big match tonight doesn’t he? Wrestling Jatt Starr himself, errrr…excuse me, Simon Sparrow.
Santoro: I wish I knew. A few days ago he was carried off into the dark sky by thousands of sparrows. If you ask me it was a mental preparation session gone completely awry.
Missy Andrews: Well if he doesn’t return you know he’ll forfe…
Before Missy Andrews can utter the word “forfeit” a series of loud, birdlike shrieks can be heard coming from above. The sound of thousands of flapping wings beating in sequence overcomes the area surrounding the Kallisten Coliseum. A formation of thousands of sparrows land at the entrance of the arena, right near where Santoro and Missy Andrews are talking. Like something straight out of the movie “Birds”, the sparrows chirp in unison and all at once simultaneously break away in all directions, returning to the dark black sky. They leave behind none other than Justin Decent, who is slumped over on the sidewalk still covered in tar and white feathers from a few days earlier.
Santoro: Justin!! You’re alive!! Where have you been?!?!
Missy Andrews: He looks like an oversized chicken…
Santoro: HA! That’s what I said!
Santoro rushes over to Justin and assists him in getting onto his feet. He smells as though he hasn’t showered in days and the tar has definitely embedded itself into the pores of his skin. As Justin attempts to communicate white feathers continue to circle his body as he shakes his head.
Justin Decent: Uggh…where am I…?
Santoro: Come on Justin, lets get you cleaned up. Your match against Simon Sparrow is starting soon and you still look like an oversized bird. Lets get this tar and these feathers off of you.
Santoro aids Justin in walking toward the arena, at which time they pass a speechless Missy Andrews who looks on with wonder. Justin meets her eye and gives a weak grin. A few white feathers break away from his body and swirl around Missy Andrews’ dress.
Justin Decent: What’s up baby? See something you like?
And with that Santoro leads Justin into the Kallisten Coliseum, where he’ll attempt to prepare him for his match against Simon Sparrow. The clock is ticking, but is Justin’s time running out?
The Testimony of Simon Sparrow will be airing int he last hour of tonights show!
The scene opens backstage where Graystone, wearing a black t-shirt and jeans, stands in front of a black locker room door. Beside him stands Missy Andrews, holding a microphone, looking into the camera.
Missy Andrews: Ladies and gentlemen… please welcome my guest at this time… Graystone!
The fans cheer in the background.
Missy Andrews: Following your comments last week, and your match against Tim Shipley in which you allowed Roxie Sykes to throw in the towel, HOW wrestlers and fans have been speculating a lot about who you are becoming in this new direction you are taking. What are your thoughts on those who say that you are a hypocrite in that on one hand you say you will do whatever it takes to face Aceldama at March to Glory 2, and then on the other hand you allowed Tim Shipley to forfeit his match?
Graystone: Missy, have you ever heard about the Black Tupelo Country?
Missy Andrews: I’m sorry?
Graystone: It was a cold night on January 14 in the year 2000, a young woman about your age, about your height, and about your same hair color was driving her truck through Black Tupelo Country. The snow was falling steady, and the roads were drifting. A yellow-tailed deer jumped out in front of her truck, and swerved off to miss it and drove into the ravine. She lay there all night, curled into a ball on what was left of her front seat, cut up and covered with blood. She froze that same night…
Missy Andrews: That… That’s awful…
Graystone: I was staying out in a cabin by myself, deep in Black Tupelo Country. I watched raccoons scatter into the bushes. I heard a stressed howl of a coyote, and I knew that something was wrong. I put on my heaviest winter coat, and a pair of snow boots, and I trudged through the snow in no discernable path. I trudged. I trudged until a saw a sparkle of light coming from behind the trees. And there she was, her body frozen and twisted sadly like a tree that couldn’t bear the weight of the ice. And she was… most certainly… dead.
Missy Andrews gulps. She lowers her head, as Graystone grabs her hand and pulls the microphone in closer to his lips.
Graystone: I never had the chance to save her, to allow her the hope that she could somehow escape her tragic fate. And as I was in the ring this past Thursday, I looked down into Tim Shipley’s eyes and I saw something cold, something very much like that young woman’s eyes, something that begged for forgiveness, that begged for hope to save him. And I heard the crowd roaring at me, much like those treacherous winds roared on that winter night. I realized in that moment that I could give that young woman the opportunity she yearned for before taking her icy last breath…
Missy Andrews: I… I…
Graystone: What happened last week is seen by many as Graystone turning soft and proving he has no chance of competing against Aceldama. And the truth of that matter is, all of the critics can say whatever they want… I made the decision to do what I thought was necessary last Thursday. I needed to prove something to everyone. I needed to prove that hope is alive, and that, indeed, anything is possible.
Just then, the camera pulls back as Tim Shipley walks up to Graystone! Graystone turns slowly to look at Shipley.
Tim Shipley: Graystone…
The two stare at each other for a moment, as Missy Andrews circles around and places herself between the two.
Graystone: You have quite a match tonight… facing Aceldama and Max Kael…
Tim Shipley: That I do…
Graystone: For what it’s worth… I wish you only the best.
Tim Shipley continues to stare at Graystone, unmoving. Graystone looks down, and extends his hand to Shipley.
Graystone: I want you to know… that I’ve got your back…
Shipley stares at Graystone’s hand, and hesitates for a moment. Finally, Shipley accepts the handshake and the crowd in the background cheers. Graystone leans in slightly.
Graystone: And… Just to let you know… If we meet again in this tournament… Roxie won’t be throwing in the towel.
The crowd let’s out an “Oooh” reaction. Shipley pauses, and then leans in with a smile.
Tim Shipley: Graystone, with all do respect, if we meet again in this tournament… things will be a lot different than last Thursday…
Both men release handshake and continue to stare at each other. The scene cuts back ringside with Hoffmann and Newell.
David Black vs. Mark “The Explosive” O’Neal
Returning ringside Joe Hoffman and Benny Newell appear both with Subway Sandwiches in their hands as they nod toward the Camera.
Joe Hoffman: Ladies and Gentlemen as many of you know HOW’s radio program known as High Octane Radio’s chief sponsor is the delicious and nutritious eatery Subway who encourages you to Eat Fresh.
Benny Newell: What the fuck is an Eatery!? What a dildo. Look, Subway makes great foot long sandwiches for just five bucks! Or as that translates to Bobbinette Carey the cheapest Foot Long she ever crammed down her throat.
Joe Hoffman: Benny! Just.. eat your free sandwich and let’s focus on the match coming up next where Hall of Famer Mark O’Neal will be taking on the former LSD Champion David Black!
The sound of Benny noisily devouring his sandwich echoes over the mic as the returning Mark O’Neal makes his way out to the ring to the cheers of fans welcoming him back. Joe is quick to point out that Mark is returning after Max Kael shelfed him in late 2009. Sliding into the ring the “Explosive One” poses in his corner before jaw jacking with Joel Hortega who appears to have no idea what he is saying.
Next to head out is David Black who has undergone something of a disturbing rebirth as of late since losing his LSD Champion. On his way down to the ring he is met with a strong collection of boos aimed at him and his recent actions. Sliding into the ring he does not wait for the bell as he heads straight into Mark O’Neal.
Hortega scrambles to signal for the bell as both Mark and David reign lefts and rights on each other as the two men brawl in the center of the ring. Eventually the larger O’Neal manages to knock Black down to the mat where he stomps away at the former LSD Champion. David is placed on the defensive as he rolls out of the ring quickly only to be followed by Mark.
Catching up to David as he tries to catch a break the two continue to brawl outside the ring with Mark sending David into the near by ring pillar with a sickening thud. Rolling him back into the ring Mark attempts to get a quick cover..
Skinning his teeth on that kick out David Black looks to be in a bad way as Mark cinches him up into a vertical Suplex before slamming him down into the mat. Dragging Black up Mark works him over into a near by corner with a series of right hands followed up with a short arm close lien which send Black back down to the mat. Mark covers.
Hortega jumps up and points to Black’s legs on the ropes forcing Mark to break the pin. Shaking his head Mark drags his smaller opponent up once again and props him onto the top turnbuckle. Climbing up Mark looks to be hooking him up for a Super Plex..
David Black counters and shoves O’Neal to the ground where he lands with a thunderous slam. Black shakes free the cobwebs while still on the top rope..
Splash off the top rope! David Black covers..
It’s Mark’s turn now to throw his shoulder up as Black fails to score the pin fall. Tired, Black climbs back up to his feet and continues to hammer away on O’Neal’s head with a series of knee drops and stiff kicks. Finally getting O’Neal to his feet David heads into the ropes and goes for a closeline..
Mark hit’s a Big Boot across David Black’s Jaw spinning the former LSD Champion inside out while Mark stumbles back as well still feeling the effects of Davids earlier attack. Black remains motionless on the ground as Mark makes his way back over to him pulling Black up by his hair..
Black nails the Darkness Falls on Mark as a desperate counter and drops on top of him. To ensure he has as much needed leverage as he can David grabs Mark’s tights wedging them up while remaining out of sight of Hortega!
Bryan McVay: DAVID BLACK IN 13 MINUTES AND 39 SECONDS!
Benny Newell: Bullshit..complete and utter bullshit…
Joe Hoffman: Call it what you will Benny but the fact of the matter is that David Black has three points and HOW Hall of Famer has -1…although he did look great after a long layoff..I expect him to win out.
Benny Newell: Fucking drink you bastard..
Joe Hoffman: Well I wont go that far but we do have to take a commercial as the footage of Simon Sparrows testimony from todays opening day in the Lee Best Trial..is up …NEXT!!
Turmoil goes to a quick commercial break.
I for one will not be sitting down to work with these girls
THE BEST TRIAL!!
The HOV comes to life and we are in the middle of a courtroom where we see Lee Best and the prosecutor for the trial, Patrick Fitzgerald, standing as the Honorable Paul P. Biebel, Jr. has just heard the opening statements from both Mr. Best and Fitzgerald.
Honorable Paul P. Biebel, Jr.: Will the State please call your first witness..
Lee, wearing an impeccable #970000 colored three piece suit takes a seat and smirks over at Fitzgerald as the prosecutor stands and calls out the first witness.
Patrick Fitzgerald: The state calls Simon Sparrow your honor..
The courtroom doors open and Simon Sparrow, wearing a black double breasted suit, black dress shirt, and gold tie, enters. He walks down the aisle and to the witness stand. The bailiff places a Bible in front of Sparrow.
Bailiff: Please raise your right hand and place your left hand on the Bible.
Simon Sparrow obliges.
Bailiff: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
Bailiff: Be seated.
Simon Sparrow takes his seat in the witness stand.
Fitzgerald stands up and approaches the witness stand as cameras focus in on Lee who is staring intently at Simon. Fitzgerald leans on the witness stand and looks back at Lee….then back to Simon.
Fitzgerald: What is your relationship with one Lee Best?
Sparrow: One Lee Best? You mean there’s another one?
Well, THAT Lee Best….
Sparrow points to Lee Best sitting in the defense council chair.
Sparrow: ….he was my boss.
Fitzgerald: When you say was…do you not mean currently? As its my understanding that Lee Best is still 100% owner of High Octane Wrestling…the company you presently work for?
Sparrow: I say was as in the past tense as in his brother is running the show and he is not.
Fitzgerald: Michael Best might be running the show…but Lee is still the owner and is still responsible for the content on the show…correct? Can we agree that you are still employed by Lee Best and not anyone else? Can we also agree that you have been working with this man for several years and will provide first hand accounts of events that have transpired over the years?
Sparrow: We can agree to disagree on some of those points.
Fitzgerald: Ok let me just ask this…how long have you been working for Lee Best?
Sparrow: I have been employed by High Octane Wrestling on and off for about seven years or so.
Fitzgerald: During that seven year span how would you categorize your relationship with Lee Best? It is widely known that you were a part of his Best Alliance stable for years and you were often at the forefront of anything and everything Lee Best had planned.
Sparrow: I would categorize my relationship with Lee Best as….rocky. Somewhat tumoltuous. In other words, complex.
Honorable Paul P. Biebel, Jr.: Move this along counselor..
Fitzgerald: Sorry your honor I am just trying to establish that Sparrow has been working for Lee Best for years and has intimate knowledge of past crimes committed by the defendant.
The judge motions for Fitzgerald to continue..
Fitzgerald: What can you tell me about Besty?
Sparrow: Besty is a cow.
Fitzgerald: How do you know Besty is a cow? Is it not true that you have seen Lee Best bring a calf onto the entrance ramp of the arena and watched it suck on the private parts of many a wrestler…all planned and ordered by Lee Best?
Sparrow: Well, I know Besty is a cow because she moos. She also has udders that produce milk. Milk, we know, is very good for your bones and contains loads of calcium. As far as watching it suck on “private parts”, you’ll have to be more specific because if such parts are private, then how would I know about them? Are we talking about toes? Fingers? I can attest to at least three occasions where Besty nearly bit my pinky finger off….or course, I was feeding her at the time.
Fitzgerald: You honestly trying to protect that man??
Fitzgerald turns and points at Lee who is leaning back in his chair, pushing his cuticles back on his fingernails.
Fitzgerald: You are under oath Mr. Sparrow. Did he or did he not order a baby calf to suck on the penis of Darkwing?
Sparrow: Besty is a cow. She lacks understanding. You CANNOT order a cow to do something unless it’s one amazing cow and Besty was far from amazing. I think Besty may have been a little…mentally challenged? Maybe brain damaged? That being said, I can honestly say Lee Best NEVER ordered Besty to suck Darkwing’s pee pee.
Fitzgerald turns away from Sparrow and walks over to the side of the court room and seconds later reappears as he is pushing a television set and he stops it right in front of Sparrow.
Fitzgerald: Your honor the state would like to introduce exhibit 1-A.
Fitzgerald pushes play and the TV comes to life and we see Darkwing with his pants down and Besty clearly sucking on the man’s penis. Darkwing can be heard screaming as a couple men appear to be holding him up and we see Lee Best in the picture as well.
Fitzgerald: Well Mr. Sparrow….how do you explain this?
Sparrow: In my professional and expert opinion?
Fitzgerald: Expert opinion? Is that man getting sucked by the calf or not and is that not Lee Best standing there after ordering it to be done?
Sparrow: In my expert opinion, I did not see Lee Best give any orders in that video. What I do see is Lee Best, standing there, in shock, at what can only be described as some perverted hazing ritual. What I do see is a glimmer of enjoyment in the eyes of Darkwing while it is being done. You asked my EXPERT opinion and there, you have it.
Fitzgerald shuts off the television and storms up to the witness stand.
Fitzgerald: Do you have ANY knowledge of ANY crimes that Lee Best has committed while being the owner of High Octane Wrestling? Remember you are under oath Mr. Sparrow and protecting that man will NOT be in your best interests.
Lee Best: Objection your honor..badgering the witness.
Fitzgerald looks back at Lee in shock as the owner of HOW smiles.
Honorable Paul P. Biebel, Jr.: Sustained.
With a smirk Lee sits back down…
Fitzgerald: Let me rephrase the question…have you ever seen, heard or known of any crime that Lee Best has committed while owner of HOW?
Fitzgerald: What crimes did he commit?
Sparrow: Aside from offering Bad Boy Pat a contract? He once parked in a handicapped spot. He paid the ticket, but still.
Fitzgerald: No further questions your Honor……it is clear that Mr. Sparrow is here to make a mockery of the court.
Honorable Paul P. Biebel, Jr.: Your witness Mr. Best…
Everyone in the courtroom shifts in their seat as Lee stands up and straightens out his suit and proceeds to walk towards the witness stand for the first time in what will be a very long trial.
Lee smiles at Sparrow as he leans calmly up against the stand and as he looks down at his nails he asks his first question…
Lee Best: Mr. Sparrow what are your credentials in High Octane Wrestling?
Sparrow: I’m glad you asked that. I am a THREE Time HOW Champion. FOUR time ICON Champion. Three time HOW Tag Team Champion. I was the UNDEFEATED Internet and soon thereafter Interlantic Champion. Winner of War Games. Winner of the Tournament of Champions. The ONLY person in HOW History to hold to the HOW Championship, the ICON Championship, and the Tag Team Championship at the same time. And yes…I am a High Octane Wrestling Hall of Famer.
Lee Best: So it is safe to say that you are the model employee as there is just no way I would allow an unjust person to hold on those titles. Now with that said Mr. Sparrow….I stand before you as a man that has been charged with over thirty crimes ranging from assault to beastility….have you ever…EVER been ordered to carry out a crime by me?
Sparrow: I have never been “ordered” to carry out a crime on your behalf. You’ve ordered me to shut up a few times, but I don’t think that counts.
Lee Best: Have you ever heard or seen me give any kind of order to anyone to carry out a crime on my behalf?
Sparrow: I have never heard or seen you “order” anyone to carry out any crimes on your behalf.
Lee Best: Thank you Jatt..no further questions…..wait….sorry…Mr. Sparrow…..one final question….
Lee leans in close and stares into the eyes of Simon Sparrow…
Lee Best: How would you like to be the new General Manager of HOW?
Fitzgerald: OBJECTION…OBJECTION YOUR HONOR!!
The courtroom is buzzing as Lee walks back to his defense table as the judge pounds his gavel and demands order in his courtroom as the cameras remain focused in on Simon Sparrow who is stunned at the question Lee just asked him and has yet to move.
Sparrow: Um…..I say—
Honorable Paul P. Biebel, Jr.: ORDER!!! ORDER IN THE COURT OR I WILL HOLD YOU ALL IN CONTEMPT!!!
Lee Best: No further questions, Your Honor.
As pandemonium breaks loose in the courtroom and the bombshell of an offer Lee Best has made to the witness, the bailiff escorts Simon Sparrow from the court. They exit the courtroom leaving a satisfied and smirking Lee Best as the feed ends.
First Match to be announced next week!!
Justin Decent vs. Simon Sparrow
Returning from commercial break the face of Benny Newell and Joe Hoffman greet viewers.
Joe Hoffman: Welcome back folks, we hope you have enjoyed the show thus far. It certainly has been a monumental show.
Benny Newell: And up next.. Simon Sparrow! The new General Manager of HOW when Lee Best get’s out of Prison!
Joe Hoffman: Benny! Nothing has been confirmed and besides, for all we know Lee Best was just doing what he does best, making people like you talk.
Benny Newell: What the hell is that suppose to be mean Hoffman!? People like me?!
Joe Hoffman: Yes, people like you who take everything they hear as truth. It’s unlikely that Lee is really going to make Simon the GM.. right?
Benny Newell: Lee wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t true, idiot! And now you’ve pissed me off to the point where.. where.. I’m just going to have to drink this off.
Benny grabs his flask and tips it back as far as he can. Joe shakes his head until the image of Benny flipping back in his chair and landing on the heap on the floor behind the desk is heard. Only Benny’s two feet kicking are evidence that the HOF commentator was ever there. Joe lets his head rest in his hands before he looks back up at the camera clearing his throat.
Joe Hoffman: Well folks we have a real treat for you up next with the as of yet undefeated new comer Justin Decent facing off against Simon Sparrow, a HOW Hall of Famer in another Best Invitational Match up! As always the winner of this bout will gain a 3 point advantage in their division while the loser will lose 1 point. The winner of the division will move onto the semi-finals with the ultimate goal being of course the all to elusive shot at the High Octane Wrestling Title.
“Fu-Gee-La” by the Fugees blasts over the P.A. as dangerous new comer Justin Decent makes his way to the ring to a steady stream of boos. Jumping into the ring he poses for a few moments before his music fades.
“Everybody Wants You” by Billy Squier cracks up as the crowd gets up on its feet as the cheers thunder in. Justin Decent turns his eyes toward the stage as the wrestler formerly known as Jatt Starr, Simon Sparrow makes his way onto the stage. Drinking in the cheers Sparrow swaggers down toward the ring. Stopping to point to a sign in the audience that reads “Free Lee Best” Sparrow elicits another series of cheers before he slips into the ring posing for the crowd.
Referee Matt Boettcher waits for both men to be ready before he signals for the bell. Simon and Justin tie up in the middle of the ring and exchange a few quick counters in a game of catches catch can. Eventually Justin is able to roll Simon over into a pinning position!
Simon rolls through and hooks Justin’s leg for a pinning predicament!
Justin manages to kick his way out as both men roll away from each other while the crowd cheers them on! Once again both men circle each other as they lock up again in the center of the ring. Simon is sent into the ropes where he ducks a close line only to turn and get caught with a cross body. Justin once again attempts for a quick cover..
Kickout! Justin keeps up the pressure by issue forth a series of stiff kicks before dragging Simon up and sending him into the corner. Rushing forward Justin attempts to slam a knee into the side of Simon’s head only to meet turnbuckle. The crafty HOFer catches Justin stumbling out of the corner into a German Suplex bridging for another pin fall attempt!
Justin manages to twist out however it is clear that the German Suplex has taken something out of the young upstart Justin Decent as he holds his head rolling away from Simon. The HOF gets back up to his feet and notices Justin’s plight targeting the head with a series of kicks before pulling him up to his feet. Simon hooks Justin’s head Simon plants him with a solid DDT!
Getting back up to his feet Simon poses over Justin before he moves around to his legs hooking his legs..
Simon locks in the modified Texas Cloverleaf in the center of the ring wrenching back as Justin screams out in pain. Simon cinches the hold in tighter as Justin scrambles to reach the ropes while Boettcher checks to see if he gives up..
Struggling Justin finally manages to reach the ropes forcing Simon to break the hold. Simon does so and poses for the crowd as Justin tries to recoup near the ropes. Unfortunately Simon spends a little too much time posing which offers Justin the chance to launch a surprise attack as he throws himself at the back of Simon’s leg for a chop block!
Simon, being defenseless, falls to the ground clutching his leg as Justin scrambles back to his feet in an attempt to continue his assault on his opponent. Dragging Simon up he sends him into the ropes before executing a nearly perfect Drop Kick to Simon’s chest sending him slamming to the mat holding his chest. Left on the ground, Justin slowly jumps to the top rope where he lines Simon up..
Justin covers Simon..
NO! KICKOUT! Simon manages to throw up his shoulder as Justin slams his fists on the mat in frustration. Getting back up to his feet slowly Justin signals for the Reverse Edge! He hoists Simon up lifting him up onto his shoulders..
Simon wiggles free..
Simon hooks Justin’s leg..
Bryan McVay: SIMON SPARROW IN 15 MINUTES AND 9 SECONDS!
Sparrow stands up and points to his hand and forces McVay to raise his hand as he announces Simon’s victory.
Joe Hoffman: What a great match and such a close one for Decent….he definitely didnt come across in this bad..not by a longshot.
Benny Newell: He lost…face it..there are no fucking moral victories in HOW!
Joe can only shake his head as Turmoil cuts elsewhere.
Backstage we see a somewhat panicked Scottywood walking down one of the corridors of The Kallisten Coliseum. One Tag Team title belt around his waist and the other on his shoulder as he flips through his iPhone as he shakes his head as he runs into Missy Andrews who grabs Scotty’s arm to get his attention.
Missy Andrews: Excuse me Mr. Woodson, earlier tonight we heard Lee Best strip Frankie of the Tag Team gold and force you to find a new partner. How is the search going? Plus do you have any comments about Simon Sparrow possibly taking your job.
Scottywood: Lee wouldn’t do that…..would he? I mean Simon Sparrow as GM? HOW would fall apart, he’d turn us all into zombie hunters or make us work in his gay brotherhood….
Missy Andrews: How about the partner search?
Scottywood: I have called everyone I can think of. Trevor is busy up in Michigan… Calvin Riley told me to fuck off…. Can’t even get a hold of Rodney…. Scott King is somewhere is Australia. None of my buddies seem to be available. Who the hell am I suppose to get?
Missy Andrews: You could choose me. HOW gold would look great on me.
Scottywood: Anything would good on you….but no offense, the only wrestling the fans of HOW wanna see is you wrestling to take your top off.
A bit shocked Missy has no response as Scottywood starts to make his way down the hallway, as a silent Missy Andrews follows him.
Scottywood: I guess I could ask a few of the guys in the locker room, I’m sure I haven’t pissed everyone in this place off…. Is that Bob Jared?
Walking down the corridor he approaches a man who turns around and unfortunately isn’t Bob Jared, but is instead one of the janitors who works at the coliseum.
Scottywood: Ah! No janitors!
Janitor: This place will get pretty messy without us.
Ignoring the man Scotty continues down the hallway before he is stopped again, this time by a small kid wearing a yellow cape and a luchador mask hiding his identity.
Kid: Looking for a tag team partner are you? Well look no further then El Franko!
By now Scottywood has picked up that this “kid” is actually Frankie the Cameraman dressed up in what can only be described as a cheap Halloween costume.
Scottywood: That didn’t even fool me for a second. What makes you think your gonna fool Lee Best?
Frankie: Well it worked for Hulk Hogan.
Scottywood: No it didn’t. If you even thought for a second Mr. America wasn’t Hogan, then you’re a fuckin’ idiot.
Scottywood: Just give it up, your wrestling days in HOW are over. Just relish the fact that you went undefeated here. Not even a single HOW Hall of Famer can say that.
Frankie: So I am better then all the HOW Hall of Famers?
Scottywood: Fuck no! But you can hold that one thing over them.
Scottywood: And I am going to give up thinking that I can actually find myself a new tag team partner, and just fall to the mercy of whoever Lee picks for me. I mean he has some good connections, whoever it is can’t be horrible….or at least worse then you.
Frankie: Bet he isn’t undefeated!
Scottywood: Whatever, just get that stupid costume off before Lee bans you from the whole fed.
Frankie removes the mask as he tosses it on the floor as the two make their way back to Scottywood’s office.
Frankie: I am keeping the cape though.
Rumors are flying that we will see HOW vs. WWA members at HOFC 1
Hardcore Partner Found!!
Back from commercial we are once again in the backstage area as we see Scottywood and Frankie walking towards Scottywood’s office, and we see Scottywood’s face wearing an emotion of defeat, as he was unable to find a tag team partner and the show is almost over.
Scotty stops in front of his office door and he sees that the nameplate has been removed.
Scottywood: What the hell?…
Frankie: We in the right place?
Ignoring Frankie, Scottywood turns the door handle but it will not open. Scotty turns it more feverishly now and still the door will not open.
Scottywood: HOW in the hell….
“I don’t think that’s your office to be entering Mr. Wood.”
Scotty slumps at the unmistakable voice of one Mike Best.
Scotty slowly turns and as he does he is might with a right hand that knocks him backwards into his door.
Another punch sends Frankie down the cold concrete ground…completely knocked out.
Scottywood clutches at his nose as blood begins to spill from his nasal cavitity and as he looks up to see the person that punched him a look of shock comes over his face…
Scottywood: What is he doing here??? MIKE!!??
Mike walks up to Scotty and squats next to him and hands him the handkerchief from his suit pocket.
Mike Best: Here use this Scott….clean up that blood….I don’t want you showing any weakness to your new tag team partner..
Scottywood jumps to his feet but as he does he is nailed over the head with an unknown weapon but the sound of metal hitting skull is a sickening thud that sends the crowd into a frenzy as they finally see the person that just knocked out Scotty….his new tag team partner.
Mike Best: The show is about over Scotty and you couldn’t find anyone…so good thing I had a back up plan huh? Meet your new Tag Team partner and now officially one half of the High Octane Tag Team Champions…..MR. COOL!!!
The camera pans up to see Mr. Cool smiling holding a frying pan in his hand and sporting the latest DREAM WRESTLING T-shirt.
Mike and Cool walk off camera as the camera zooms in on a now bleeding Scottywood….
The camera doesn’t have to move to capture what just happened….as we see a final image before cutting away…
Egg all over the face of The Hardcore Artist.
Managing Two Titles
Back at ringside “Singularity” by Doctor Steel pipes into the arena while the crowd boos loudly. Maximillian Kael slowly makes his way out onto the stage wearing his ring attire with the ICON title and the Internet title draped over his shoulders. He wears a smug expression on his face as he looks out over the crowd while they pour on the boos.
He lifts his custom Maxopotamian mic to his lips as his music dies down.
Max Kael: In case you people do not know.. My name is Maximillian Kael! I am your ICON Champion, your Internet Champion, your Hall of Famer and the PARAGON of HOW! I am the Prime Minister of Maxopotamia and Simon Sparrow’s Superior in VERY WAY.
He lowers the mic and looks out over the crowd as they boo loudly at him. The ICON and Internet Champion smirks out at the audience and raises the mic again.
Max Kael: Tonight Mike Best has forced me to go out into the ring and face the LSD Champion and the HOW Champion with MY Title on the line. Mike Best believes this will be done for the betterment of the ratings. If he wants to make ratings that son of a bitch should have put the HOW Title on the line! Instead he forces me to defend my title after I had to bury both Shane Reynolds and Graystone Single Handedly.
The fans continue to boo as Max lifts his hands into the air taking credit for the defeating both Shane and Graystone.
Max Kael: I shouldn’t be forced to defend my title tonight when I have had to do the most work. I mean.. Aceldama hasn’t had a match in over a month. He has had it easy all because Mike Best has a hard one for his HOW Champion. Of course Mike Best is going to baby that worthless champion, a man who hasn’t done DICK since he has become a Champion this latest time. John Cena has more legitimate title runs then this asshole and yet HE isn’t forced to put anything on the line.
The ICON Champion moves across the stage slowly as he continues his rant directed at Mike Best and his opponents in the cage match.
Max Kael: And as if that was not bad enough I am also being forced to face Tim Shipley, a man who LOST Last week. GOOD WORK MIKE! Rewarding people who lose is such a great way to encourage people to actually work to get their title shots. Thank you Mike Best, thank you for degrading the titles of HOW and degrading all the effort I have put forward. Tim Shipley loses vs. Graystone last week, loses against the man that I defeated single handedly at ICONIC and he gets a title shot. What kind of fuck backwards reasoning is that?! It’s almost as if he is relying on the fans to make these matches!
Again another series of boos reign in on Max Kael as he sneers out at the fans as if he were blaming them all for his current situation.
Max Kael: But it’s fine. I am a Hall of Famer and the FIRST DOUBLE CHAMPION of this era of HOW. I have defeated Aceldama before. I have defeated Shane Reynolds for the ICON Championship. I have defeated Graystone for the ICON Title. I have defeated Simon Sparrow when he was calling himself Jatt Starr. I have proven myself to be THE SINGLE greatest wrestler of HOW not because I can have a good string of months of because I can hide behind a GM who won’t book me in title matches. I am the GREATEST because I AM the man who can win when the odds are put against me. I will FIND a way even though you people HATE to see me do it. And tonight I continue my winning ways but first..
A list of accomplishments that Max Kael has that Jatt Starr/Simon Sparrow has not achieved or is tied with appear. Max points up toward the screen as he smugly swaggers around the stage.
Max Kael: Tonight I introduce yet another reason that makes ME better then Jatt Starr or Simon Sparrow. Please give a rousing applause for the greatest Manager in HOW and my cousin.. And most importantly a woman involved with me that is NOT actually a man..
Under the name Jatt Starr the name “Angel” flashes while on Max Kael’s side the words “Has A Real Female Manager” appears. Max stepped to the side as he motioned toward the entrance.
Max Kael: ELENORE KAEL!
From the stage a thin, elegant and predatory woman slowly makes her way out onto the stage wearing a tight black suit and miniskirt. Her sharp eyes peer out at the world through a pair of dark rimmed glasses giving her a sophisticated look. She appears to be carrying a large black leather bag in one hand while the other delicate pale hand is offered out to Max who takes it in one hand to present her to the audience.
Max Kael: You will respect her as much as you respect. You will honor her in the same way that you honor me. She is your better, just as I am, and by god I shatter you like an Earth Quake in Haiti if you do not. Now.. shut your fat Chicago Faces and open your ears for my dear Cousin.
Max slid the mic over to Elenore who graciously accepted it as the fans booed both her and Max as he looked on with a smug expression. Elenore slowly lifted the microphone to her lips as she smiled a disarmingly polite smile.
Elenore Kael: Good evening High Octane Wrestling Fans. I am here to represent my cousin, the honorable Maximillian Kael as both a member of the Kael Family and as your reigning ICON and Internet Champion. I am here to ensure that Maximillian Kael is marketed and represented fairly. Likewise I am here to protect him from the potentially unfair treatment by both Mike Best and Lee Best as well as the seemingly biased behavior of other staff members.
She keeps an even and friendly tone during the course of her brief statement however the fans continue to boo her as they can sense her dishonesty even as she keeps her straight, friendly expression.
Elenore Kael: Thank you for your time and I hope to see you later tonight when I am able to accompany my cousin, Maximillian Kael out of the ring as the still ICON Champion!
Elenore applauds Maximillian as he acts embarrassed taking the mic back clapping for the his cousin and manager. Tucking the mic away Max and poses with his titles as we cut to commercial break.
First matches are over…who has the advantage now?
HOW ICON Title Match
Max Kael vs. Aceldama vs. Tim Shipley
Triple Threat Match
Joe Hoffman: Welcome back folks and after everything that has happened already I almost damn near forgot about the fact we have one match left…
Benny Newell: Insert crazy lowering of the cage music…….NOW…
On cue the arena goes dark and spotlights focus on the huge steel cage structure that is hanging high above the ring.
It slowly begins to lower as the cameras focus in on Maximillian Kael who is still standing in the middle of the ring. He is looking up at the huge structure as it lowers and he slowly hands his ICON and Internet Championships to Matt Boettcher and tells Elenor to exit the ring and she quickly obliges as the cage is quickly making its way down now.
Joe Hoffman: Well folks if you listened to the HOR last night you knew that this bout is now for the ICON Championship and it is going to be darn near impossible for Max Kael to retain against Aceldama and Tim Shipley…
Benny Newell: That just means he will retain now…you idiot..way to give spoilers…
Joe Hoffman: Huh? Spoilers? Anyhoo…No one is ever sure of whats going on in the mind of Kael but its pretty safe to assume that he is thinking about a life without the title now.
Benny Newell: He will still have the internet title anyway…duh?
Joe can only shake his head as the lights come back on in the arena as the cage reaches the ring apron and HOW crewmen quickly work to secure it in place.
MK Ultra by MUSE hits the PA system and out walks the LSD Champion Tim Shipley and his manager Roxie.
He is showing no limp from his knee injury and both Roxie and him are smiling as they make their way down to the entrance ramp and Roxie gives him a quick peck on the cheek before Tim hands her the LSD Championship and enters the cage and stares down the ICON Champion as “Vicarious” by Tool hits the sound system and the crowd stands as one as the High Octane Champion Aceldama makes his way out from the back.
Joe Hoffman: Well there he is folks…the alpha male..pardon me here Ethan…the alpha male here in High Octane Wrestling…Aceldama.
Benny Newell: Is he a Hall of Famer? Was he ever an Announcer of the Year? Alpha Male? Nigga please…this guy is just an overgrown retard who should be on a leash.
Again Joe can only try to ignore Benny as the feed cuts back to Aceldama who has now also climbed into the ring and has handed his High Octane Championship to Boettcher who promptly walks it to the cage door and leans out and hands it to a HOW crewman.
Boettcher turns around just in time to see Aceldama and Shipley down on the ground and a shrugging Max Kael in the center of the ring holding a pair of brass knuckles.
Boettcher quickly signals for the bell and orders the cage door to be locked and we are now officially underway.
Joe Hoffman: Well there is your virtious ICON Champion right there folks..Jesus…
Max quickly jumps on Aceldama and begins bringing down his loaded fist down on the heart are of Aceldama’s chest and this continues for several seconds as Max is literally replaced by the Minister and he is no longer trying to hurt……but maim Aceldama.
The crowd begins booing as Max slowly stands up off of Aceldama, who is writhing on the canvas in pain as he holds his chest.
Max ignores the fans and turns towards Shipley who has gotten to his feet with the help of the ropes and seeing an opportunity, Max charges the LSD Champion from behind and nails him with a perfect running shoulderblock right into the injured knee of Shipley.
Tim screams out in pain and the cameras show a very concerned Roxie with her face covered in her hands as Max begins to work over the injured knee of Shipley with various different holds…
Joe Hoffman: Well folks we have seen Max lock in a figure four, a texas cloverleaf, a single leg grapevine and of course more loaded punches directly on the knee cap of the injured Shipely.
The crowd goes quiet as the only sounds heard are the sounds of Tim begging Max to stop it but it is no longer Max in charge but instead The Minister.
Max goes down like a lump of coal as the cameras pan back and we see Aceldama holding his own weapon….his own set of brass knuckles…these ones officially sponsored by HOW.
Now it is Ace who brutalizes Max with a violent set of punches but the punches do more harm to Ace than to Max as Ace stops bunching to take a seat on the canvas as he continues to hold his own chest.
Smelling blood, The LSD Champion gets to his feet and limps over to Aceldama and nails him from behind with a perfect standing drop kick that sends both Ace and Max thru the middle ropes and into the unforgiving steel.
Shipley limps over to both men and grabs them by the hair and proceeds to slam their heads into the cold steel time and time again until both men are now wearing the proverbial crimson mask.
Benny Newell: Don’t ya love the sight of blood on a Thursday night?
The crowd cheers at the sight of blood and continue to cheer as Aceldama picks up Max and literally spears his head into the steel mesh and the ICON Champion falls down to the canvas between the ropes and the cage.
Shipley quickly gets involved again and nails Aceldama with a perfect dropkick that sends Aceldama over the top rope and into the steel as well.
Shipley, now limping, begins making his way towards the door and as he gets near a HOW Official unlocks the door it swings open but it is quickly shut by Elenor who is how holding some large bag that she grabbed from under the ring.
Roxie however doesn’t waste any time either as she charges Elenor and smacks her hard across the face, making Elenor drop her black bag and the contents fall out.
Joe Hoffman: Is that a ….it is…it’s a darn car battery!!
Roxie picks up the car batter which has two cables connected to it, and walks over towards the ring and hands it Shipley who is exiting the ring.
He is thru the ropes when Max nails him with a running boot after running the length of the ring apron. The force of the blow sends Shipley hard against the steel next to the door and the battery falls outside of the ring where Elenor quickly pounces on it and suddenly we have a cat fight between Roxie and Elenor.
The two women begin pulling each others hair and rolling around the arena floor as the batter falls helplessly to the ground as Shipley is only one foot away from winning when Aceldama grabs him from the back of the head and proceeds to nail him with a reverse DDT.
Benny Newell: Can we get back to the cat fight?
Pissed off, Aceldama, picks Tim Shipley up and proceeds to bodyslam him ONTO the body of Max Kael.
The crowd is cheering madly as a bleeding Aceldama and Tim Shipley smile at their handiwork but Aceldama quickly turns the corner and clothesline Shipley down to the mat with a power clothesline that would rival anyone in wrestling today.
Now it is Aceldama who is on top and bringing down the heavy artiliary and after a few moments of pure hatred by Ace towards Shipley, Max Kael has slowly made his way towards the door and has both his hands out….
Scream both Shipley and Aceldama as they charge after Max and as they do Max turns towards them and waits for the last possible second and proceeds to cattle prod Aceldama who immediately begins foaming at the mouth in pain.
Joe Hoffman: What the…..
Benny Newell: Shock that fuck!
Max turns towards Shipley and is met with his own brass knuckles but the force of the blow sends Max thru the middle rope and towards the opened door and Shipley quickly chases him down and begins pulling on his legs. As he continues to pull, Max turns towards Shipley and clamps on one of the battery connectors and Shipley immediately falls to the ground in pain and is convulsing as we see that Max grabbed the weapon courtesy of his family member..ahem
Joe Hoffman: That can not be pleasant.
Benny Newell: All depends who is clamping the battery on….and to where…
As the cameras show Shipley trying to shake it off Aceldama goes for the big boot on Max but max ducks thru and goes for a suplex but Aceldama blocks it and instead suplexs Max hard down to the ground.
Aceldama continues to work over Max until he sees Shipley struggling to get up and Aceldama knocks him back down before he can.
The finish of the match finally comes as Max reverses an irish whip and charges Aceldama but Aceldama ducks and Max goes shoulder first into the ring post and thru the ropes and he nails the steel mesh of the cage as Aceldama is quickly stalking him from behind.
Shipley manages to get up and charges both men and they all go crashing thru the door of the cage and onto the arena floor.
Joe Hoffman: What just happened? Who won? Can we get a replay?
The crowd is buzzing as they have no clue who just one as all three men fell out at the same time.
Benny Newell: Kael won….defiantly saw Max touch first.
Suddenly the HOV comes to life and we see Mike Best on there and he says he know who the winner is…..
And then the HOV feed goes to the replay of the fall and its obvious what happened.
Bryan Mc Vay: IN Accordance to Mike Best, Tim Shipley and Maximillian Kael are deemed winners of this match and because the title cannot change on a match like that…Max is STIIIIIL YOUR ICON CHAMPION!!!
Benny Newell: Told ya!
Joe Hoffman: What the hell just happened??? Folks it appears that we have a DRAW??? Max Retains and we are well over our allotted time ….till next time folks!!
We see a final image of all three men lying on the arena floor…bleeding on each other.
**BONUS THANK YOU SEGMENT**
The broadcast is over for another night of Thursday Night Turmoil but what remains lies backstage as Simon Sparrow and a High Octane Cameraman are walking down a long corridor within the Kallisten Coliseum as Sparrow goes to the point where he was instructed by Aceldama that the whole thank you would happen. As he gets to the end of the corridor he and the cameraman turn left and Sparrow is somewhat confused by what he sees. He was expecting around the corner to see Aceldama for this moment to happen but instead there is a bulking seven foot tall man dressed all in black with a black beanie on. Sparrow walks over to him.
Simon Sparrow– Hey Lurch, have you seen Wolfgang Bruggemann? I was told he was going to meet me here.
Large Man– He told me to meet you here, to check you for contraband and ensure that you only brought the cameraman with you.
Simon Sparrow– I don’t know why this is necessary.
Large Man– I have the directions to where Mr Bruggemann is in this envelope, if you want your little thank you, I got to check you for contraband first.
Simon Sparrow– Fine, go ahead, but no going south sailor, I will be keeping an eye on those hands.
The man proceeds forwards and begins to frisk Sparrow as he stands with a dissatisfied look upon his face. When the man is happy that he is in fact carrying nothing of risk, he checks the cameraman who also has nothing. He hands Sparrow the envelope and he opens it.
Simon Sparrow– By the way, Lurch, nice hat. I had one just like it when I was four. It had a little propeller on it. It was the biggest waste of money my parents ever spent. Why have a propeller on beanie if it doesn’t make you fly. That’s what I say.
The Large Man turns the corner and walks out of sight. Sparrow proceeds to read the note.
Simon Sparrow: Says I have to go through this door and to the end of the corridor and turn left; he will be in the third door on the right. I knew I should have brought Louis with me. He’s much better at directions than I am.
Sparrow instructs the cameraman to keep shooting as he opens the door and walks down the corridor and turns left then begins to count the doors as he walks down the final corridor.
Simon Sparrow– Second, third door, this is it. Keep that rolling, any sudden movements, you strike him with that camera, got it? Take no prisoners.
The cameraman shakes the camera to indicate that he agrees as Sparrow opens the door. The door brings him out to what seems to be a parking lot. He walks out into the middle of the lot and stands scratching his head.
Simon Sparrow– I knew it, he has bailed on it, I knew he would never do it.
Then all of a sudden he hears a voice in the distance, it is calling for him. The accent is strong, it is Aceldama
Aceldama– Sparrow, over here, let’s get this over with….
Sparrow tries to locate the source of the sound, then hears it again.
Aceldama– Over here, by the panes of glass.
Sparrow walks slowly over and turns the corner and down towards what he sees is large sheets of thick glass.
Simon Sparrow– I didn’t think you would never do this…..I had your written off as some kind of socio—
Aceldama is not there, but his voice is. On the ground is a Dictaphone and it is playing.
Simon Sparrow– What the…?
Aceldama then emerges from the shadows blindsiding Sparrow and goring him into the panes of glass as both men shatter through the glass. Aceldama stands up and looks down at the lifeless Sparrow with a look that we have not seen from Aceldama in a long time. He picks shards of glass from his chest and arms as he kneels down on one knee beside Sparrow.
Aceldama– Oh Sparrow, what you get….and what you deserve are two different things altogether. Do you think I would thank a man who sides with Lee Best? Ha. But soon enough I will reveal to the world, the true evil that Lee has done, soon someone will emerge, a skeleton from the past, and will bring the end to your little ‘friend’.
Aceldama notices something in Sparrow’s pocket.
Aceldama– What do we have here?
Aceldama picks out what seems to be a document and he proceeds to read it.
Aceldama– This contract entitles one Simon Sparrow to a championship title match in the division of his choosing. This contract can only be used once and is only valid for a period of one year. Interesting. I thought I would never say this but…..
Aceldama puts the contract into his pocket.
Thank you Simon Sparrow.
Right your one minute is up, stop recording now.
Copyright. HIGH OCTANE WRESTLING 2010