Thursday Night Turmoil
April 15th, 2010 – #HOW113
Kallisten Coliseum, Chicago, IL
World Champion’s Decree
The lights come on as a packed Kallisten Coliseum is welcomed by a barrage of fireworks. The camera pans around the arena as the fans are buzzing in anticipation for another star studded edition of Thursday Night Turmoil. The camera’s move quickly over to the commentators table where Joe Hoffmann and Benny Newell are sitting ready to call another night of action.
Joe Hoffmann: Good evening everyone and welcome to another edition of Thursday Night Turmoil and as always I am joined at the table by the one and only Benny Newell. This should be an interesting night all around Benny, title matches, rumors of further war games members and a card full of great matches.
Benny Newell: But before we get to any of the good stuff…..we have to sit through this…….
The HOV screen begins a countdown, every interval in the seconds from ten to zero the ((::A::)) symbol flashes, the countdown run down from ten to zero in German, then stops and Rammstein ‘Sonne’ kicks in with the accompanying of a large explosion of pyros as Aceldama makes his way to the ramp from backstage, holding the world title in his right hand. The arena goes dark as one single spotlight shines upon him. He gets on his knees, putting his title in front of him and points up to the sky, then points in both directions as two fireballs engulf both sides of the ramp. Then he stands up and walks down to the ring with the spotlight still remaining upon him as he gets into the ring.
The main chorus to the song begins to play as he climbs to the top turnbuckle and points over to the HOV screen as a sun can be seen rising from it, then he looks around the arena, turns around and jumps off the turnbuckle, when he lands, fireworks from each turnbuckle engulf the arena in orange as the lights turn back on.
Aceldama picks up his world title once again, looking at it for a second as he is handed a microphone from outside from the announcer. He continues to look at the title, smiling, but a subdued look comes around him as he is about to speak into the microphone. He pauses for a moment, taking in the crowds words and chants of hate.
Aceldama: Once again, I have proved why I am such a formidable force within this federation. Once again, I hold the biggest title this federation has to offer. I walked into this place no longer than 14 months ago, and since then I have achieved more in that time than many have done in their entire careers. A THREE time world champion, in little less than a year, nearly nine months I have held this title, and in between my reign, three people couldn’t even manage to hold it for a total of two! In becoming three time world champion I exposed Mario Maurako as the false champion he was and proved one thing to all you out there. When I want something, I ALWAYS get it, first time of asking.
My first shot at the world title? All those months ago, I beat Crow in the first time of asking. I lose my title and in the first chance I get to take it back, I succeed. I lost it again, and again I succeed in the first time of asking. Why am I able to do so? Because I THRIVE in proving you all wrong. When people said I could never do the unthinkable and dethrone Crow, I done so, sending him packing from the federation. When people said I could never win War Games, my first ever war games and hold onto the world title in doing so, I proved you all wrong. When people said that I had finally met my maker, in ‘Perfect’ Paul Paras, once again….I proved you all wrong. Every time you thought I could never do it, I succeed in proving you all wrong.
So here I stand, a three time world champion, who has held it no less than nine months in that time, a war games winner, wrestler and rookie of the year. I have done it all, everything I wanted to achieve I have done, health matters aside, except one thing…….to LEAD a team to glory at War Games. Now I have that chance. I have proven you all wrong before, many of you think to go up against Lee Best and Simon Sparrow is a challenge I cannot succeed in, but I will. I want nothing more right now.
Because you see, War Games will be…………..
There is an uneasy pause from Aceldama as he looks around the arena for a moment, contemplating what he is about to say.
Benny Newell: Come on, out with it!
Aceldama: War Games will be…….my final match.
The crowd is thrown back by what he has said as there is a relative hush around the arena; even Joe Hoffmann doesn’t know how to react! He finally musters up some words.
Joe Hoffmann: Did I just hear that correctly? War Games will be Aceldama’s FINAL match?
Benny Newell: You damn right you did! So long sauerkraut!
Aceldama: I know my limits. I have taken by body to the edge, asked it to do the unthinkable and so far it has sustained. But I know I can no longer carry on living the lie. My body is fading, I am thirty six years old and have a heart transplant, and my time in this profession is on bought time. I have done everything I wanted to do, quicker than I imagined. Yes I have not held the ICON or LSD title, but they are meaningless when you hold this! I done more than ANY of you can imagine, I have nothing left to prove……well almost nothing.
One last thing to do……to beat Lee Best at his own game!
Lee Best is the owner of this company; he created War Games to be his trademark, his major pay per view event. I already got one over on him by making myself a captain for a team, but that was only the beginning. I plan to win it, edge my name in history. My final swansong, that I shall leave this federation, war games winner, winning captain, last man standing and STILL world champion! And I would love to see you doubters out there prove me differently!
But there is one final thing.
As I go into retirement, leave this place behind. I want one personal thing, something I aim to achieve at War Games. I might be retiring at war games, but Simon Sparrow…..I AM TAKING YOU WITH ME!! If ending your sorry career is the last thing I do, forget the war games win, forget the world title, if that was ALL I do….then I leave a happy man. Sparrow your career has done nothing since your return, you should have REMAINED retired, least then your legacy would have lived on, instead you return as a has been, a former shadow of yourself. You will forever be tainted by your past, I will not by mine. I came into this federation a winner and fighter, and I shall leave the same way.
So obviously this leaves one gaping hole, IF I win war games, who will the title go to? So many of you out there rejected my calls to be on my team, for one reason, you KNEW you could not prize this title from me. How do you feel now that the chances are better for you? To be on my team means…….I am last man standing, you have the chance to get the gold. But still……nobody wants to be part of my team. We shall see the calls coming in now. But I have a few more things to address before I go.
Benny Newell: Has he not retired yet? He’s taking too long!
Joe Hoffmann: Dammit Benny, just sit there and shut up!
Aceldama: Why Justin Decent? Why not. The man has proven to me that is willing to step up to the plate, become a contender. Not just happy with what he has he is willing to want more. He reminds me of myself when I came in here, eager to impress, willing to go all the way, and no fear….whatsoever. He was an easy choice. One I know will hold my team in good stead. I wanted all my members to be that way, so show a certain…..something. Willingness to achieve, determination, a drive to succeed….and no fear. Decent has all these. Therefore, my final spot in my war games team……my last spot at the world title…….I want that member to EARN it. I want to see that member taking the bull by the horns and showing that they WANT to be in the team, that they have what it takes to win it all. So I am making a match, for two weeks time, a match I will officiate, as I want to see if these wrestlers have what I need.
It will be a four way, the winner will become the final member of Team Aceldama. The match will consist of……..Ethan Cavanaugh, taking on…….Marcus Reinhart…….taking on…….Ryan Faze…….taking on……..STATIC!!
Joe Hoffmann: For a second there I thought he was not going to say his name!
Aceldama: This match will determine my final member. And what I want to say to these members, and all the members of my team is…….anything is possible. I am a prime example of that, what I want I take first time of asking. When all doubters out there put you down, you stick the middle finger up and prove them wrong. Show to me that you DESERVE the right to fight for this title, prove to me you are the rightful person for me to hand this down to because my ship is sailing, my time is done here, but not without one final mission, one last challenge. To beat Lee Best at his own game and in doing so bring Simon Sparrow down with me!! By…..any…..means………necessary!!
Aceldama’s music starts up once again as he stands in the middle of the ring and raises his world title aloft in the air.
Joe Hoffmann: Wow! So much to take in, where to even start?
Benny Newell: That that big German bastard is soon to be no more!
Joe Hoffmann: Not the way I would have worded it Benny. You heard it here first folks, I can’t believe I am saying this…..at War Games Aceldama will lead a team out to battle….in what will be his final match before retirement. This means the world title WILL change hands, even if Aceldama is the last man standing. There has not been so much on the cards at war games than there is now. For Aceldama, the chance to retire in a blaze of glory, for the others, even members in HIS team, the chance at the world title.
Benny Newell: I am soooo happy, I think this calls for it, yes I am going to do it…..the single barrel of Jack Daniels is going to be opened up!
Joe Hoffmann: Add to that the threat of Aceldama, that he intends to bring Simon Sparrow WITH him into retirement. That Sparrow should never have came out of retirement and he plans to put him back on the shelf.
Benny Newell: Hey Joe why is a Sparrow like a writing desk?
Joe Hoffmann: What?
Benny Newell: Exactly. Sparrow is going to ruin that German’s party and he is going to leave with NOTHING, nothing I tells ya! His memory in this place erased.
Joe Hoffmann: Add to the fact that he has issued a challenge to competitors out there to EARN their spot as his final member. This is a golden opportunity for those who would have been overshadowed in the past to step up to the mark and try for the gold.
Benny Newell: Ryan Faze… world champion?? Yea….of sucking cock!
Joe Hoffmann: I am in awe right now, so much to take in, we be right back folks.
Aceldama is walking down the corridor looking somber and subdued when he is taken aback by an irate Static who runs straight into him and squares up to him. Aceldama refuses to budge, but the force knocked his title from his shoulders onto the ground.
Static: What the fuck are you playing at? Making me EARN my right into your team? Did I not do enough of that last week?
Aceldama: You did…..outside of the ring. Sadly I need someone who can do that…..inside a ring. Last week you lost, to a woman. A rookie at that. You think you deserve your chance?
Static: I destroyed that woman, I took out Mario, I done what you told me to do, you told me to go create havoc, and I done that, what do I have to do to impress you?!
Aceldama: You proved that you take orders well, now what you can do to impress me is go down to the ring and WIN….show to me that you want this more than anything, show to me you have the qualities I need. Best be on your way, oh and Static……..
Aceldama stands eye to eye with Static looking rather menacingly.
Aceldama: NEVER get in my way again.
Aceldama picks up his world title and walks away from Static who is standing irate, punching the wall even in sheer frustration. Aceldama seems frustrated as well as he goes into his dressing room, slamming the door behind him, but it bounces back and opens slightly ajar. The cameraman walks over and peeks the lens inside. Inside he catches a glimpse into something Aceldama did not want the world to see…….
He is sitting on his chair, head down. He rips open his shirt and begins to pound at his chest, hard. He is crying violently. He begins to shout something, it cannot be heard but whatever it is, Aceldama is emotional, as if the world is falling down upon him. He has his world title on his lap as he looks down again, tears falling onto the gold belt. The action cuts to commercial as everyone is in shock at the sight of the Champion crying.
You think this man ever cried on a World Title Belt? If he did and you saw it…well you probably should have Met Life Insurance!!
The Best Deal EVER
Back from commercial and we are live inside the office of Lee Best. The owner of High Octane Wrestling is wiping tears from his eyes as he shuts off the monitor in front of him.
Lee looks at the person sitting across from him and glares at the man.
“The man that sits down to piss is really giving me shit for crying? Gimme a fucking break….I have tears from LAUGHING….not crying. Who the fuck you think I am..Shane Reynolds?”
The camera pans back and we see Scott Woodson, aka Scottywood, now glaring back at his former boss.
Lee Best: Ok besides the obvious yawn fest of an opening segment on the show, tonight is a big show tonight and quite frankly I do not have time to hear you grovel for your job back…..well……maybe I got a few minutes….GO!
The camera shows Scotty taking a deep breath before continuing..
Scottywood: Lee you and I have had plenty of differences over the last couple years but you know I have always been about HOW first and foremost. I love this company, at night I dream about this company and in the morning I wake up thinking about what to do next FOR this company. Like you have given Darkwing, Simon Sparrow, Chris Kostoff and others more than one chance….I am asking….in fact I am BEGGING you to give me another shot….I really want to show that..
Lee holds his hand up and Scotty stops as Lee sits up and takes a deep sigh.
Lee Best: The fact of the matter is that I like having your ass around Scotty. You are easy to make fun of, you take it like a champ and at the end of the day you are exactly how you described…loyal and a reliable person when it comes to the company……BUT the fact of the matter is that you piss sitting down and I just cannot have that kind of embarrassment on my shows…I mean what would people think…..uh…hold on….
Lee scoots his chair away from the desk and reaches underneath raises his Pimp Hand..aka his Cavanaugh…and brings it down hard and a loud SMACK is heard from under the desk.
Lee Best: What did I tell you about ignoring the Simon Sparrow……..stupid bitch!!
Shaking his head, Lee scoots back towards the desk and can read Scotty’s face.
Lee Best: NOT literally Simon Sparrow…its what I call my left testicle…you know cause he only has one….never mind…anyway…..let’s talk about tomorrow night and how it plays into you coming back.
Scottywood: Tomorrow Carmen and I head to the WMW show to get the tag team titles back. I think if I am successful in bringing those back you officially sign me back as a..
Lee Best: Save your breath douchebag…..here’s the deal. You bring the titles back and you are officially under contract until War Games…there you will either defend the titles or whatever..but War Games will be your FINAL NIGHT as well…..maybe you and Ace can hug one out after the show.
Scotty just smiles before asking his final question.
Scottywood: So if Carmen and I bring back the tag team titles I get an official HOW contract until War Games……and oh…what about that offer you threw out earlier today on the net?
Lee Best: You talking bout the 6th Man War Games offer where one person will pay to be in war games as a 6th team member and get to choose their team?
Scotty nods in agreement.
Lee Best: Ya I didn’t want any assholes like those fuckers from Hydra winning so I…
But Lee is cut short as Scotty reaches into his inside pocket and pulls out a loaded envelope and tosses it to Lee who catches it and upon opening it he begins to smile.
Scottywood: I want in. I will still get the tag titles back….but I want in War Games and trust me…I will provide the BEST team with an edge.
Lee smiles at Scotty and seems impressed with Scotty’s offer.
Lee Best: Ok deal….you got your War Games spot…we will make it official next week on Turmoil…..now if you excuse me I got something to check off my Bucket List.
Not wanting to even know, Scotty stands up and walks out of the room as Lee scoots the chair back and looks back under the desk.
Lee Best: I need you to jack me off with this C-Note….
The action quickly cuts to inside the Coliseum and to the announce team as we see the owner of HOW smiling from ear to ear.
Hydra vs. Extreme Kaos
Tag Team Match
Joe Hoffman: Folks, welcome back and if you’re just tuning in, I’m being told that we’re about to kick off the action here on Thursday Night Turmoil and thank God…..is it wrong to feel bad for whoever is under Lee’s desk?
Benny Newell: Are you kidding me?! I would love to jack off Lee with a 100 dollar bill….I mean LIKE Lee I would like to…anyway… Who’s up first? MPlow? Kael? Justin Decent?
Joe Hoffman: Um……Well, no Benny. Up first, we’ve got a match lined up between two of our resident tag teams, both of whom are eager to jump to the next level and make names for themselves here in HOW.
Suddenly, a mild chorus of boos can be heard as the tune of ‘Rock the Party’ by Benizo kicks in and the team of Jake Archer and James Ranger appear on the stage accompanied by Jessie Phoenix and Mia Long.
Joe Hoffman: And there you see James Ranger, fresh off of his loss to Christopher America in the Lethal Lottery HOFC championship match.
Benny Newell: Like he’s going to fair better here tonight alongside whatshisface…? Sean Archer…
Joe Hoffman: Actually, that would be Jake Archer you see flanking his tag team partner.
Benny Newell: I don’t give a fuck what his name is, Joe. I just watched ‘Face Off’ with Travolta and Cage and would rather be watching that than this waste of airtime we’re about to see.
As Joe refutes Benny’s statement, Hydra’s music drowns out and is replaced by ‘Pepper’ by the Butthole Surfers, prompting Extreme Kaos from the curtain to yet another mild reception of boos.
Joe Hoffman: Looks like it’ll be KC Kash and Porno Prometheus teaming up in this one.
The two men walk to the ring looking rather incensed by the reaction they are getting from the crowd and even threaten some fans at ringside before sliding into the ring. Both teams taunt each other during a quick weapons check from Joel Hortega and before long, Prometheus and Archer are circling each other upon the sound of the ring bell.
Looking to initiate a tie-up, Archer approaches his opponent but is quickly doubled over after Prometheus delivers a stiff knee to his mid-section. With the window of opportunity in his favor, Porno takes advantage with a few hard shots to Archer’s spine that sends the Hydra member crashing face-first into the canvas. Taunting Jake to ‘get up’, Porno grows impatient and finally assists him in the process, using his leverage to Irish Whip his opponent into the opposing turnbuckle.
Fortunately, Archer avoids the collision and leaps upwards, fully expecting Prometheus to follow underneath. Unfortunately, he finds nobody home and spins around into a devastating Spinebuster from Porno that sends him rolling out of the ring in search of some relief from his opponent. Writhing in pain, Archer clenches at his chest and back until Prometheus catches up and pushes him hard into the steel ring steps.
Infuriated by what he just witnessed, James Ranger hops down from the ring apron to come to the aid of his tag team partner, but is met half-way by KC Kash. As the two trade punches on the outside, Hortega administers a double count-out; one that reaches ‘ocho’ before Prometheus gathers Archer and rolls him back into the ring. Following suit, Porno immediately stands to his feet and diverts Hortega’s attention back to the brawl on the outside, where James Ranger has since taken a leg-up on his tag team partner, KC Kash.
With the referee now distracted, it allows Porno to blatantly choke his opponent with a boot across the throat of Jake Archer.
Joe Hoffman: Wait a second! Extreme Kaos should be disqualified!
Benny Newell: Not unless that crazy Spic of a referee turns around and catches it!
As Prometheus applies more pressure to the choke, Hortega commands orders in Spanish for James Ranger and KC Kash to get back to the ring and return to their respective corners. Ignoring the referee, Ranger guts KC Kash with a mule kick in setting him up for the ‘Rolling Thunder’ axe kick. As James is executing his finisher, Porno relieves Jake Archer from the choke hold in time to avoid disqualification; Hortega’s attention now back to where it was supposed to be in the first place.
Joe Hoffman: No! Come on! Not like this!
Benny Newell: Modified ‘Freefall’ by the man with the best name in wrestling!
With Archer gasping and struggling for air, Porno connects with a running punt kick to the side of the Hydra member’s head. A lateral press and a three-count later, James Ranger finds himself just a second too late in making the save.
Bryan McVay: Here are your winners by way of pin fall in 3:39… Porno Prometheus and KC Kash… EXTREME KAOS!!!
Having secured his team the victory, Prometheus scrambles under the bottom rope and out of the ring before Ranger can get his hands on him. Despite some heat from the crowd, Porno is all smiles as rushes over and assists KC Kash to his feet. On the flip side, Ranger is furious as he takes a knee next to Archer. With his tag team partner out cold, James scolds Extreme Kaos as Porno helps KC Kash to the back.
Joe Hoffman: Spineless worms, Benny! That’s what consists of Extreme Kaos!
Benny Newell: That’s great Joe. But now can we move on to someone of actual relevance here in HOW?
Joe Hoffman: Well, I suppose we should keep things rolling here on Turmoil…
Benny Newell: For FuckPlow’s sake, Joe! Just take us backstage already!
Joe Hoffman: Very well! Let’s head to the back where we have LSD champion Justin Decent standing by!
A Decent Interview
Backstage Missy Andrews can be seen standing just outside of the entrance to the men’s locker room with an HOTv camera crew, impatiently waiting on the arrival of the current LSD Champion Justin Decent. She turns to face the camera crew, who are already filming live.
Missy Andrews: Ladies and gentlemen joining me here shortly will be the current High Octane LSD Champion Justin…
Missy looks at the cameraman like he is crazy and then she notices that a hundred dollar bill is stick to her palm. She quickly rips it off and tosses it behind her as she pulls herself together and continues..
Missy Andrews: Like I was saying, joining me here shortly will be the current HOW LSD Champion Justin…
No sooner than she utters part of his name, Justin Decent exits the locker room with the LSD title belt thrown over his right shoulder.
Missy Andrews: Justin Decent, thank you for joining us briefly. I know you’re a bit camera shy and you rarely give any interviews.
Justin simply shrugs.
Missy Andrews: We just heard from the World Champion Aceldama, who touched upon a lot of what you yourself have been relatively silent about up until this point. Can you shed some light on your decision to accept his War Games invitation?
Justin Decent: Well… he asked. And I, in turn, accepted.
There’s a brief, uneasy pause.
Missy Andrews: Care to elaborate on that Justin?
Justin Decent: No. Not really.
Missy Andrews: His decision to select you as one of his teammates has shocked both the High Octane fans and roster alike. No one…
Justin Decent: ..w-wait! Why would anybody be shocked by his selection? He’s obviously putting together a highly skilled team. So naturally don’t you think he’d select the most highly skilled competitors?
Missy Andrews: Aceldama’s decision to select you as one of his War Games teammates has created a great deal of tension between himself and Static. What are your thoughts on Static’s apparent disapproval?
Justin Decent: I don’t really care to be quite honest. Static is just pissed off that he can’t win a match. I understand his frustration, truly I do. If I sucked as bad as he does I’d walk around with a chip on my shoulder too. Static has an extreme case of what I affectionately call: Loser-itis. It’s a crippling disease that typically afflicts people without any talent whatsoever, such as.. well.. Static. If there’s one thing Carmen Jennings and I have in common, and trust me there isn’t much, it’s the fact we’ve both defeated Static. Regrettably, that isn’t saying a whole hell of a lot. Honestly Missy, you could probably beat Static.
Missy Andrews: If Aceldama chooses Static as one of his War Games teammates down the road, do you think he’ll be willing to cooperate with you?
Justin Decent: I think Aceldama’s choosing of Static is contingent upon Static actually winning a match. Suffice to say I don’t think we’ll be seeing that anytime soon.
Missy Andrews: How do you feel about Mark O’Neal’s outrageous claims that he’s actually the reigning LSD champion?
Justin Decent: Mark… who?
Missy Andrews: “The Explosive One” Mark O’Neal? Your Lethal Lottery opponent last week?
Justin Decent: Oh right.. right.. that guy. Well, the fact I’m holding the LSD title belt as we speak kind of refutes his desperate claims. But god love him for trying, I wish him all the best in his future endeavors.
Missy Andrews: Tonight you’re scheduled to defend your LSD title against Carmen Jennings, a talented up and comer not wildly different than yourself when you first started in HOW last November.
Justin Decent: Whoa whoa whooooa!! Carmen Jennings may be 3-0, but lets keep things in perspective here. She’s not going to be undefeated after tonight. I went all the way to 4-0 before I gained my first loss to Simon Sparrow. 4-0 is far, far more impressive than a pathetic 3-0. Let us please also make note of the fact I had to endure wrestling talent in it’s purest form: the likes of Jay Davis AND Rush Marconi. Talent like that only comes around once in a lifetime. It’s almost as if HOW wanted me to fail right from the get go, but like a true pioneer I was able to rise to the occasion. I’m sorry to say that Carmen is simply second rate. She doesn’t have what it takes to keep that momentum of hers going, and she CERTAINLY doesn’t have what it takes to defeat the likes of me. Tonight is the closest she’s ever going to come to the LSD title.
Missy Andrews: Is it true you dressed in drag in a desperate attempt to gain admission to a women’s wrestling expose?
Justin Decent: W-w-where did you hear that from?!?
Missy Andrews: We’ve received word that in an attempt to research your opponent you wore a dress and high heels, do these rumors have any foundation?
Justin Decent: I.. uh.. well they.. listen, the thing is that I..
Missy Andrews stares quizzically at Justin, who is unable to refrain from stammering.
Justin Decent: I-I-I haven’t the time for these baseless accusations! I’ve got a match to prepare for!! Carmen Jennings isn’t like Static, she’s not going to pin herself!
And with that Justin storms off, leaving behind a puzzled Missy Andrews.
As we cut to another commercial break we see a hand reach down and pick up the hundred dollar bill….as we cut to black we see who the hand belonged to..
Nevermind…the action cut away …but the hand was definitely black.
WMW’s next big show…where Scottywood and Carmen Jennings will take on HOW Tag Team Champions AWS Man and Valora on their home turf in Cleveland!
Pre Match Aggression
Back from commercial we cut backstage and the camera zooms in on a rather panic stricken Brian Bare, his face bright red as he holds his microphone close to his gut, a towering man stood next to him in black with his blue tint visible in his hair, the man is non other that Guy ‘Static’ Stephens.
Static is holding Shirley and is looking down on Brian with an arrogant grin across his face as he glances between the camera and Brian, Brian looks like he’s about to cry as it’s visibly obvious he fears the HOW wrecking ball.
Brian Bare: L…L….Ladies and gentlemen I am stood here with Guy Stephens, one of the most brutal members of the LSD division.
Static: Whoa whoa whoa hold it there Brian.
Static places his hand over the mic, cutting Brian off before he can continue.
Static: Now that’s not how I told you to start is it?
Static says in a cocky and sarcastic tone as Brian shakes his head.
Static: Lets try this again shall we.
Brian nods his head as he lifts the mic back to his mouth for a second attempt.
Brian Bare: *Gulp* Ladies and gentlemen, I am stood next to the greatest member of the HOW roster, a man who can not be stopped, a man who is intent on causing grievous bodily harm towards anybody and everybody here in HOW, that man, is the future LSD champion. Guy Stephens.
Static: No no no no no. Dammit Brain all you had to do there was mention my name correctly and it would have been perfect.
Static holds his hands out again towards Brian, snatching the mic away from him and staring into the camera, his eyes fixated toward it.
Static: The future LSD champion, the human wrecking ball of HOW, Guy ‘Static’ Stephens. Now you idiotic worthless waste of a human being, what was it you wanted?
Static asks as he shoves the mic back into the chest of Brian Bare.
Brian Bare: Static, I was hoping we could get a few words before you match tonight regarding the current events in HOW and of course your reasons behind your savage assault of Mario Maurako last week on Turmoil?
Static: Brian, I have my reasons for attacking Mario Maurako, and when he comes back, IF he does indeed return, he can explain to the world, why he chose to mess with me, after the embarrassing night both of us had went through. He was selfish and disrespectful, that, and that alone Brian, caused Mario to overstep his mark here in HOW.
Static grins as he arrogantly winks toward the camera as Brian lowers his mic once again.
Brian Bare: Static with word that Aceldama has already got other members of his War Games team lines up, what is going through your mind? Are you hoping to be selected for Team Aceldama?
Static’s grin quickly fades, shaking his head as he grabs the mic once again from Brian.
Static: Brian, Aceldama and I don’t exactly see eye to eye but don’t get me wrong he had my respect. Yes that’s right he had my respect. He invited me to be a part of the uprising for my brutal nature and animalistic ways in which I savagely destroy my opponents. Ok, so maybe I haven’t won a match recently, but that shouldn’t be put against me. The odds are firmly stacked in my favour; you can only cage an animal for so long, once the wrecking ball is swinging, there’s no getting out of the way. I’ve already proved my sheer physical dominance and perhaps I haven’t come out on top, but I’ve certainly left a path of destruction in my wake.
Brian Bare: Speaking of you loss last week at the Lethal Lottery, how do you feel about Carmen Jennings receiving an LSD title shot later tonight?
Static: it’s embarrassing, it’s embarrassing enough that thanks to Michael Norcia, I lost my chance at an LSD title match, but to have to sit and watch Carmen Jennings take on Justin Decent. That’s embarrassing, hell I’ve stood in the queue for the toilets backstage longer than she’s been here.
Brian Bare: however she has made a huge impact since arriving.
Static: Did I say I was finished? Well did I?
Brian shakes his head as Static shoves Brian back a few steps and takes centre stage in front of the camera.
Static: Brian, Carmen Jennings, Justin Decent, Michael Norcia, Chris Kostoff, Scottywood, Ryan Faze, Silent Witness, Bishop Steele for fucks sake. It doesn’t matter who’s fighting for the LSD title, because the fact is, it’s only a matter of time before its back around my waist and there’s nothing Lee Best, the LSD Champion at the time, or any of those snot nosed fan boys who try to hump their favourite wrestlers legs as they leave can do about it.
Static chuckles to himself before stopping quickly and glaring back into the camera with nothing but rage in his eyes.
Brian Bare: Finally Static as I know your match is next, anything you would like to add.
Static: To be blunt and to the point, Michael Norcia, you’ve been retired once, feel lucky if you manage to leave this arena breathing when I’m finished with you. Aceldama, you wanted me to impress you in the ring.
Static raises Shirley in line to his face and grins sadistically as he glances into the camera.
Static: Just watch closely
With that Static walks off out of camera view, as a shaken and terrified Brian Bare attempts to smile with relief as it’s finally over as we cut to ringside as Static takes on Norcia next!!
Static vs. “The Exinction Level Event” Michael Norcia
No DQ Match
Cueing the start of our 2nd match of the night, ‘Omerta’ by Lamb of God kicks throughout the speakers of the Kallisten Coliseum prompting ‘The Extinction Level Event’ Michael Norcia from the curtain. After falling short in the LSD title #1 Contenders match last week at the Lethal Lottery, Norcia strides to the ring with a scowl on his face, clearly unhappy with his performance in that match.
Joe Hoffman: Folks, Michael Norcia is not the type of man that will accept ring rust as an excuse for his performance last week. By the look of things tonight, he appears intent on turning things around in what will be a No Disqualification match against the ‘Wrecking Ball of HOW’.
At ringside, Norcia forcefully removes the timekeeper from the chair that he is sitting on and equips himself the weapon before sliding into the ring. As he does this, ‘My World’ by Emigrate produces Static from backstage; the former LSD champion gripping his trademark baseball bat ‘Shirley’ as he eyes his opponent down from the stage.
Benny Newell: As dangerous as Static is outside of the ring, you can almost feel his desperation for a win here in HOW after missing out yet again on what he wants most; an LSD title shot. I’ll tell you what, after what the fucker did to Maurako last week, I wouldn’t want to be in Norcia’s shoes here tonight.
Joe Hoffman: We’ll see if the No Disqualification rules play into Static’s favor and translate into a win for the former LSD champion.
Benny Newell: Who the fuck cares who wins as long as we see some fucking blood on the mat when it’s all said and done? DRINK!
Careful in staying out of harm’s way, referee Matt Boettcher calls for the bell with both of the High Octane superstars armed and now ready for battle. Upon hearing this, Static immediately charges and swings ‘Shirley’ in the direction of his opponent. Unfortunately for him, Norcia is ready for this and steps aside, swinging a hard shot of his own to Static’s back with the steel chair. The crowd groans upon impact and Norcia plays into their response with another steel chair shot over the back of Static’s head, causing him to slump over the ropes and drop his beloved ‘Shirley’ to the outside.
Not satisfied with the damage that he’s caused, Norcia grabs Static by the hair, ripping him back violently to the mat with a hook of his leg to follow.
Joe Hoffman: Near fall there by Norcia, who is really taking it to the ‘Wrecking Ball of HOW’ here in the early going of this match!
Upset with the result of that pin fall, Norcia mounts his opponent and begins hammering his fist with ‘Hand of God’ punches into Static’s forehead, repeatedly so until a bright red gash appears on Static’s brow.
Benny Newell: Ha-ha, yes! That didn’t take long!
The blood on Norcia’s knuckles extract a smile from ‘The Extinction Level Event’ as the fans respond with cheers, encouraging more violence. With Static favoring his wound, Norcia slips out of the ring and retrieves his opponent’s baseball bat; eyeing it down with intent to maim Static with his very own weapon. As he slides back into the ring, he finds Static on his feet, staggering about with his face covered in blood.
Joe Hoffman: Norcia swings for the fences… NO! Static ducks behind!
Swift in his evasion, Static doubles Norcia over with a boot to the gut which forces his opponent to let go of ‘Shirley’ in the process. With Norcia in his grasp, Static connects with a Lifting Inverted DDT before immediately applying the cover.
Joe Hoffman: One! Two! Aaaaaannnd… NO! Norcia kicks out! Static nearly put an end to his losing streak with that maneuver!
Knowing this, Static thinks about his Outcast Injection finisher but opts for his trusty baseball bat instead which is lying near the corner of the ring. Picking it up, he briefly admires the piece of lumber before he begins stalking Michael Norcia, who is slowly coming to his feet. Again, Static lunges with ‘Shirley’, this time connecting with the skull of Michael Norcia who drops to the canvas like a sack of bricks. With ruthless aggression, Static continues the assault by driving the head of his bat into Norcia’s mid-section; with Michael trying desperately to shield himself but to no avail.
Benny Newell: That’s it, Guy! Fuck him up!
Grinning sadistically as he watches Michael Norcia writhe in pain, Static calls out to the crowd for his RKO finisher; a signal that he intends to end the match. Feeling the effects of numerous shots with a baseball bat, Norcia comes to his knees in an incredible amount of pain. He struggles to stand up; all the while Static stalks him from behind for the moment to pounce with his finisher.
Joe Hoffman: Lookout!
Finally, with the aid of the ring ropes before him, Norcia stands to his feet.
Benny Newell: THAT – my friends – is called the Static Shock! Goodnight Norcia!
Three seconds later, Matt Boettcher raises the arm of Static, who simply laughs and smiles upon wiping the blood from his forehead.
Bryan McVay: Here is your winner by way of pin fall in 4:15… STATIC!!!
Benny Newell: It’s about time you British fuck!
Joe Hoffman: Convincing victory by ‘The Wrecking Ball’ here tonight on Turmoil; almost a must-win considering his LSD title hopes and desire to participate in the War Games match.
Benny Newell: No shit. Somewhere in this arena, Captain Ace was watching this one closely.
As Norcia is helped out of the ring and to the back, Static can literally bask under the heat he is getting from the audience; the boos filling the arena as we cut away backstage.
We cut backstage where we once again see that Lee Best is sitting at his desk in his office. In front of him are some papers and the infamous bottom line pen laying on his desk. Mark “The Explosive” O’Neal is now the one sitting across from Lee in a chair.
Lee Best : “Sign the damn contract already Mark. I don’t have all day.”
Mark pulls the papers closer to him and acts as if he is reading them over, but is clearly not. He then slowly stands up and walks behind the chair he was sitting in, he then puts his hands on the back of the chair, stretching his arms out a little.
Mark O’Neal : “Actually Lee, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about a few things.”
Lee Best : “Well hurry the fuck up then.”
Mark O’Neal : “You see, last week, in my LSD Title Match. I clearly got robbed, pinned Decent for the 3 count and the ref fucked me. I should have that title. I have the DVD right here proving it, you should check it out.”
Lee Best : “Are you fucking serious?”
Mark O’Neal : “Yeah, dead serious.”
Lee Best : “Give me the DVD.”
Mark hands Lee the DVD who pops it into his computer quickly. He hits play and instantly a video of a girl eating out another girl while getting reamed in the ass comes up, but quickly turns to static and flips to Mark’s match from last week. Lee watches the pinfalls, ejects the DVD, and proceeds to snap it into two and throws it in the trash can.
Lee Best : “You lost. End of story. Now sign the damn contract.”
Mark O’Neal : “But..you didn’t even….”
Lee Best : “Yeah I did. You lost. It’s over.”
Mark O’Neal : “Fine, I don’t want that title anyways.”
Mark looks very annoyed by Lee’s actions, but then something hits him all of a sudden and he turns back to Lee.
Mark O’Neal : “By the way, I appreciate the blow job last week and everything from Missy. But I don’t appreciate you interrupting my rap. I was really flowing when you busted through the door. And the fact is that if you really want me to be on your War Games team, and sign that contract, you need to add something into it.”
Lee Best : “And what is that?”
Mark O’Neal : “Next week on Turmoil I want a live mic. That’s right, I want to be able to perform my new rap song I have been recently recording in the HOW ring. You see it is my first single and I am working on finishing the CD, and I want to start promoting it next week in the ring.”
Lee Best : “You are shitting me right?”
Mark O’Neal : “Nope, it is a win:win for you anyways, imagine the increased ratings and revenue that will come out of this. A world premier of my new single : Bitch Get In Line.”
Lee Best : “Bitch get in line? Really?”
Mark O’Neal : “That’s right, it is the next club banger.”
Lee Best : “You know what fuck it, let’s get this over with so I can go back to working on more important matters.”
Lee grabs the contract in front of them and handwrites in the clause Mark has demanded of him. Lee turns the contract around facing Mark and hands him the pen. Mark grabs it and reads over the new clause as Lee begins to speak again.
Lee Best : “Here it is, with one stipulation added, if Team Best loses at War Games, Mark O’Neal is terminated from HOW. And there will be no more rapping if that happens. So don’t fuck this up.”
Mark looks up at Lee as he says that and his expression changes from his cocky smirk to one that appears a little tentative. He then looks back down at the paper and his cocky smirk reappears as he signs the contract. He sets the pen down and heads towards the door.
Mark O’Neal : “Don’t worry Lee, there will be no losing, I will win War Games for the second time myself, regardless of what the team does.”
As the door closes Lee taps his Bottomline pen feverishly on his desk..
Lee Best: Aceldama, Sparrow, Scottywood and now O’Neal…one or more of these idiots are going to be gone from HOW after War Games….I think its time to start recruiting.
The action cuts to commercial as we see Lee dialing on his cell phone.
WAR GAMES MATCH
Aceldama, Justin Decent, ?? , ?? and ?? vs. Simon Sparrow, Max Kael, Mark O’Neal, ?? and ??
Ethan Cavanaugh vs. Mark “The Explosive” O’Neal
Joe Hoffman: Welcome back folks and its official…the first ever War Games winner and HOW Hall of Famer Mark O’Neal is officially teammates with fellow Hall of Famers Simon Sparrow and Maximillian Kael on Team Best.
Benny Newell: Hall of Famers versus wannabe curtain jerkers…ya War Games is gonna be lopsided as all hell!
Joe Hoffman: Well with that said, we have only gotten started here on Thursday Night Turmoil because up next, we have a battle between two potential title contenders that you are not going to want to miss!
Having drawn up the perfect segue, Joe is interrupted by Union Underground’s “Revolution Man”, which brings out Ethan Cavanaugh wearing the 3/5ths HOFC title belt. Beside him, the actual champion Christopher America looks none too thrilled to be there as Cavanaugh is forcing him to the ring instead of allowing him to prepare for his HOFC title defense against Simon Sparrow.
Benny Newell: Ladies and Gentlemen, please make way for the Alpha Black Male, Ethan Cavanaugh! You hear that Darkwing?!? FUCK OFF!
Joe Hoffman: Benny! Have some respect for our fellow Hall of Famers! Oh, speaking of which…
Again, only Joe Hoffman can make the segue look so effortless as ‘Give It Away’ by the Red Hot Chili Peppers brings out Mark ‘The Explosive’ O’Neal from backstage to a loud pop from his hometown crowd. As Cavanaugh warms up and America settles into his corner outside the ring, O’Neal slaps some hands along the aisle before climbing up the ring steps and onto the apron, where he poses before entering the squared circle.
Joe Hoffman: Remember folks, O’Neal was extremely close to winning the LSD championship last week during Lee’s Lethal Lottery and will be forever recognized as the inaugural War Games winner; something to keep in mind during this match and as we prepare for this year’s pay-per-view extravaganza.
Benny Newell: Can you believe it, Joe? An endless supply of sake awaits my arrival in Pearl Harbor!
Joe merely grumbles something under his breath as Mark and Ethan stare across the ring at each other until the bell is called for by Joel Hortega.
Joe Hoffman: Mark O’Neal with a Spear! Right from the get-go!
Whether it was intentional or not, Christopher America split-second distraction of Ethan Cavanaugh was enough to allow Mark O’Neal an opening for the high-impact move that sends both men tumbling through the ropes and to the outside. With both men landing hard, it takes a few moments – especially for Cavanaugh – to stand to their feet, but once they do so, O’Neal measures up for a Diamond Cutter, which Ethan finds just enough energy to slip out of and push the HOW Hall of Famer off into the ring post.
Joe Hoffman: Big escape there by Cavanaugh!
Benny Newell: C’mon Joe, that was nothing! As a slave owner, he should be an expert in the various methods of escape.
Still favoring his mid-section, Ethan slowly rolls into the ring and back out again to break Joel Hortega’s count-out. He then retrieves Mark O’Neal and tosses him back into the ring, but not before slamming his opponent’s head into the unforgiving steel of the ring steps. Writhing in pain on the mat, O’Neal tries his best to roll away from Cavanaugh, but he can’t avoid the flurry of boots and stomps that Ethan delivers in further weakening his body. Furthermore, Cavanaugh secures a Kneeling Dragon Sleeper submission; one that sees the crowd rally behind Mark O’Neal in hopes that he can hold on in this match.
As Ethan adjusts his leverage and increases his pressure on the hold, Joel Hortega checks on Mark who agonizes in pain from the submission. Finally, the crowd seems to rally enough support for the High Octane Hall of Famer that he’s able to power himself out of the move before tapping out.
Joe Hoffman: Unparallel determination on display from O’Neal!
Back to their feet, O’Neal is able to spin behind a fatigued Ethan Cavanaugh and follow up with a Sidewalk Slam and a cover.
Joe Hoffman: One! Two!! Three!!!
Benny Newell: NO! Ethan kicked out! Ethan kicked out! C’mon Cavanaugh! Get up and slap him with your cock whip or something!
Joe Hoffman: Benny!
Benny Newell: What?!?
Suddenly, there’s a state of confusion in the Kallisten Coliseum as the audience and announcers alike wonder whether or not Mark O’Neal has won the match or not. Even O’Neal himself stands up and questions Joel Hortega, who holds up ‘dos’ fingers to a fatigued – and now dejected – ‘Explosive One’.
Joe Hoffman: That pin was almost too close to call right there.
Benny Newell: What are you talking about, Joe? Are you blind? Ethan could have kicked out of that in his sleep!
After taking a few moments to catch his breath, Mark O’Neal turns his attention back to Cavanaugh, who surprises the ‘Explosive One’ in standing back to his feet. After the time O’Neal wasted pleading his case to Joel Hortega, Mark’s expression is that of an ‘oh, fuck!’ moment as Cavanaugh goes for his Pumplehandle Scoop Piledriver combination finisher.
Benny Newell: MAGIC BLACK!
Joe Hoffman: No! O’Neal reverses… TIME BOMB!
O’Neal Jacknife Powerbomb finisher serves to lay Cavanaugh down for the count as Christopher America smiles on in watching O’Neal pin his ‘master’.
Bryan McVay: Here is your winner by way of pin fall in 7:59… MARK O’NEAL!!!
Unfortunately, O’Neal celebration is cut short as the High Octane camera crew catches up with Extreme Kaos, winners from their match with Hydra from earlier on in the show.
Cutting to the locker room of Extreme Kaos, we find Porno Prometheus sitting alone with a rose colored microphone in hand staring straight into the camera. He remains there for a moment, before giving a nod to the camera as if receiving a signal to begin.
Porno Prometheus: Lee Best has apparently decided that the team best suited to get the HOW Tag Team Titles back is…
Pausing Porno looks off camera for a moment as if he’s apparently forgotten who it was that Lee had selected.
Porno Prometheus: Scottywood, one of the four men who lost the titles to WMW in the first place. And Carmen Jennings who “doesn’t really have any interest in the Tag Team Titles.”
Quoting Carmen from last week in a nasally high pitched whine for a moment before shaking his head angrily.
Porno Prometheus: I can’t change what Lee has already done, but I’m issuing you a challenge! That’s right! Scottywood and Carmen Jennings against Extreme Kaos! And when we beat you, Lee Best will realize what a mistake it was to send you two bitches to get the Tag Team Titles back! And as for you Carmen, I will personally show you exactly where a bitch like you belongs. On your goddamn back!
The cameraman chooses this moment to zoom the camera in and focus in on the face of Porno as he smiles wickedly. Letting the challenge hang in the air for a moment before he continues, his voice softer now.
Porno Prometheus: As for WMW, you fucks are walking around carrying MY titles around your waist. You think you have to worry about Woodson and Jennings? AWS Man and Valora, it doesn’t matter if you win, lose, or draw, those Tag Team Titles.. MY Tag Team Titles.. are coming home to HOW. Fucking..
Porno pauses yet again as he stares intently into the camera drawing the rose colored microphone away from his lips. He stands there a moment as if waiting for the fans to finish his trademark phrase even though he couldn’t hear them if they did. Instead, he drops the microphone and walks off camera as we cut away.
We cut to the High Octane Vision screen high above the entrance ramp and suddenly the screen flickers to life and we see a man dressed in a long black hooded robe sitting in a church playing a somber piece of music on the church organ with his back to the camera. He continues playing the organ as another man, a priest, walks into sight and stands in front of the camera. He is a relatively short man with a receding hairline. He is holding a book in his hands, the bible, which he is clutching tightly. The priest looks into the camera as the organ music continues playing in the background.
Priest: Hello there. My name is Father Michael and I come before you here tonight carrying a message of the utmost urgency and importance. For too long the Devil has been allowed to reign in this world unchecked. People are assaulted, raped and murdered every single day on this planet. It has gotten to the point where people are no longer even stunned or surprised when they read about the latest soul to fall victim to mindless violence, truly this is the work of Satan himself!
The priest speaks with an unmistakable conviction.
Priest: Violence has become a regular and natural part of life in this world, as much of a natural part of our day as the sunrise and sunset. We have come to the point where we all just simply accept it. We do not do anything to prevent it, instead, every time we read about a murder in the newspapers, we simply consider ourselves lucky that it happened to someone else, someone we did not know. These things take place every single day…every single day! This is not right! This is not how it is supposed to be! This is NOT WHAT GOD WANTED!!!!
The priest clutches the bible in his hands even tighter and there is a fire in his eyes.
Priest: All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. And truly evil has triumphed on this planet! We are not on Earth anymore, we are on Planet Hell! The foul corruption in the hearts of men and women have allowed for the Devil to take over. Their lust and greed giving him the chance to move in and corrupt their very soul! He is within them now. Ever present, and ever looking to further unleash his evil on this world. Well to that I say…NO MORE!
No longer will I stand idly by and do nothing while Satan destroys the world! No longer will I accept reality the way it is today! No longer will I allow this degradation to continue! But…I am but one man, and I am too old and weak to fight this fight the way it needs to be fought. For this battle, faith alone will not be enough. This kind of darkness can only be fought in one way…we must fight fire with fire!
The priest slowly raises his right hand and at the very moment his arm is completely stretched out, the organ music stops. The man who was playing the organ in the background slowly stands and walks over to the priest, standing next to him. His head slightly lowered and with the hood still over his head, concealing his face and identity.
Priest: This war must be fought one sinner and Devil-worshipper at the time. And it must be fought by someone who knows this darkness well, who has felt it, lived it and turned away from it. Someone who can stare into the darkness without fear. Someone who can look into the eyes of these sinnners and Devil-worshippers and not flinch, not hesitate, but simply do what must be done. That man…is here.
The priest puts his right hand on the shoulder of the man in the hooded robe.
Priest: So hear these words…High Octane Wrestling. I am sending him first to you. The entire success of your company is built on sex and brutal, mindless violence. Your entire company reeks of the Devil! And yes, it is only fitting that I send him to you first. You see, this man is already known to you. This man was used and abused by your company! He was mistreated, disrespected and riciduled. You THOUGHT you had broken him! You THOUGHT you had destroyed him! But you see…I have helped him out of the darkness your company brought down upon him. I have helped him to see the light! And now the time has come for him to return, to right the wrongs that he experienced in your company and to begin the final cleansing of High Octane Wrestling.
The priest turns his head and looks at the man standing next to him.
Priest: Isn’t that right my son?
The man slowly raises his arms up and puts his hands on the edges of the hood. He hesitates for a moment and then slowly pulls the hood back, revealing the man to be…..David Black! He looks himself except for the eyes, which are an eerie, unnatural black color. He says nothing but just gives a cold, emotionless stare.
Priest: Sinners of HOW!… Judgment Day IS HERE!!!!!
The priest puts his hand on David’s shoulder and leads him away from the camera. A moment of silence follows before a creepy whisper is heard…
The screen then abruptly goes black again as we go to commercial.
HUGE Announcement next week on Turmoil about a very special Monday Night Mayhem coming live to HOTv in May.
HOW LSD Title Match
Justin Decent vs. Carmen Jennings
As we come back from commercial break, the camera catches Joe sitting alone in the announcer’s booth. Ever the professional in the absence of his broadcast partner, he quickly introduces us to a video package of the events from last week’s Lethal Lottery of which are relevant to the upcoming LSD title match that we’re about to witness.
Joe Hoffman: Ladies and Gentlemen welcome back to Thursday Night Turmoil which – as always – is coming to you LIVE here on High Octane Television. Apparently, my esteemed colleague had a bit of a mishap backstage… ahem… so while we wait for Benny to return from the restroom, let’s take a look back at how this upcoming match came about.
Suddenly, we cut away from Joe and directly into a video package, which is also played over the HOV so that the fans inside the arena can view it as well. First, Carmen Jennings is shown stealing the #1 Contendership to the LSD title right out from under Static’s nose. This ignites a pop from the live crowd who watches a clip of Matt Boettcher raising her arm in victory amidst a ring full of fallen opponents surrounded by barbed-wire. Next, the footage turns to Justin Decent preparing for his first LSD title defense; clearly not happy that he has to defend it on the first show since winning the belt at March 2 Glory. From there, it cuts to his match against Mark O’Neal, who nearly defeated him had it not been for Justin rolling through his pin cover and securing one of his own. Finally, a shot of Aceldama’s first War Games teammate raising the LSD championship high into the air closes video package, which entices some serious heat from the crowd as the feed returns to Joe and a visibly distorted Benny Newell.
Joe Hoffman: Well folks, as evidenced by the footage you just saw, tonight’s LSD title match will showcase two of the fastest rising superstars we’ve had in a long time. Benny… I suppose I should welcome you back to the booth?
Benny Newell: Thanks, dickhead. I swear to God, the next person that leaves the toilet seat up when I’m running to take a shit is going to get a mouthful of Benny’s famous ass-juice the next time I see them.
Joe Hoffman: Hmm, I was wondering what that smell was. Anyways, for the second straight week, LSD champion Justin Decent defends his title LIVE here on Turmoil…
Suddenly, ‘I’m So Sick’ by Flyleaf begins to blast over what becomes a rousing ovation of cheers as the new fan-favorite of HOW Carmen Jennings walks out onto the stage. Smiling confidently, Carmen poses at the top of the entrance ramp, holding a whip in her hand that is wrapped in barbed-wire.
Joe Hoffman: Interesting choice of weaponry by Carmen tonight as we should remind you all that this title match will be contested under Hardcore rules.
Benny Newell: Don’t get me started, Joe. Carmen is hot enough as it is and the thought of her doing anything Hardcore makes me want to run home and bust out my anal beads.
Joe Hoffman: Sorry, but didn’t you just have diarrhea?
Benny Newell: Yeah. Your point?
While Joe tries to get everyone’s focus back on the match, CJ enters the ring with a look of determination, knowing that she has earned herself a tremendous opportunity very early in her HOW career. To shake off the nervous pre-match jitters, she paces about the ring as “Fu-Gee-La” by The Fugees begins to echo throughout the arena.
Joe Hoffman: Just listen to this crowd! They are not taking kindly to the LSD champion.
Benny Newell: No shit, genius. Don’t you think being named as Aceldama’s first teammate for War Games has something to do with that?
Joe Hoffman: Well, it certainly didn’t help his cause, that’s for sure. Still, the fact that our World champion trusts this rookie enough to compete alongside him in such a high-profile match speaks volumes about his talents and potential here in HOW.
Benny Newell: Yeah… potential for cross-dressing.
Joe Hoffman: Huh?
Benny Newell: Nothing.
Obviously referring to Justin Decent’s foray into the “Women of Wrestling” exposition earlier in the week, Benny quickly changes the subject by downing a few swigs of Jack as the champion walks past him. Accompanied to the ring by Santoro, Justin snatches a metal garbage can out from his hands and carefully digs through it, pulling out several household kitchen items that he thought would be appropriate to use against his opponent. A scowl comes across the face of Jennings as he places an iron skillet, a cheese grater, and a large tin of Spam… yes, Spam… into his corner of the ring. This proves to get under Carmen’s skin a bit, who impatiently pleads her case to Joel Hortega about Justin’s stalling. Finally, some Spanish bickering from the HOW referee gives Decent a hint that his charade has gone on long enough. Sliding into the ring with the skillet in his hands, he eyes down Carmen Jennings, who tauntingly lashes her barbed-wire whip in his direction.
Joe Hoffman: I hate to say it Benny, but Justin could have his hands full tonight with Carmen.
Benny Newell: Yeah? Well Carmen could have her hands full of my nutsa-
Joe Hoffman: Will somebody just cut his microphone already??!!
Fortunately, the sound of the bell allows Joe to calm down and remained focused on the task at hand, where we see both CJ and Decent circle each other – weapons in hand – in plotting their first move. Not surprisingly, a crack of Carmen’s barbed-wire whip near the feet of Justin Decent provokes the action. Quickly, he slides under the bottom rope and out of the ring near the entrance ramp, where he looks at CJ in disbelief before turning his back on the #1 Contender.
Joe Hoffman: Would you look at that! Justin Decent wants NO PART of Carmen Jennings!
Knowing that she cannot win the title by allowing him to walk off, Carmen quickly slides out of the ring and chases after the LSD champion, leaving her barbed-wire whip behind. The fans cheer Jennings for her persistence, however their cheers amount to nothing as Decent had laid a trap for her all along, which draws a considerable amount of heat from the hostile Chicago crowd. Upon Carmen catching up to her opponent, fans along the entrance ramp are treated to a birds-eye view of Decent tossing a powdery white substance into her eyes.
Joe Hoffman: What the-
Benny Newell: Hmm… think she’ll be up for a game of ‘Pin the Tail on the Benny’?
Rightfully, Joe admonishes his partner for making such a remark. Meanwhile, a blinded Carmen Jennings is nailed over the head with Justin’s iron skillet before being led back to the ring. With the weapon still in his hand, Justin delivers another resounding shot; this time to her back as she attempts to stand up using the ring apron. Crashing back down to her knees, Carmen cringes in pain until Justin pitches the skillet and leads her back inside the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Justin Decent is unleashing a considerable amount of punishment here on Carmen Jennings. He may be goofy, but he’s proving tonight just how dangerous he can be inside that ring.
With Santoro encouraging him at ringside, Justin retrieves the can of Spam and opens it, flashing it to the fans for proof of its contents inside. Again, he draws some serious heat from the crowd in making his intentions clear; that he’s not only going to deliver pain to his opponent, but he’s going to humiliate her as well.
Benny Newell: I fuckin’ knew it, Joe! I knew that Carmen was into the kinky shit!
Again, Joe’s frustration with Benny is evident in his voice as Decent allows Jennings to her feet. Slowly but surely, Carmen rises using the help of the ring ropes as the fans try to warn her of Justin’s intent. Suddenly, Decent charges at her from across the ring; his can of Spam in hand as he prepares to smear it all over Carmen’s body. Fortunately, CJ is aware enough of his presence to avert his attack, forcing Decent to run chest-first into the ropes and bounce backward into a modified ‘C-Spike’ neck breaker!
Joe Hoffman: Carmen covers!
The crowds erupts with the sudden shift of momentum, but are silenced as Decent kicks out before Hortega reaches 3. Kicking the Spam out of the ring, Carmen’s wastes little time after the near fall as she eyes her barbed-wire whip from across the ring. She approaches it with intent and reaches down for the weapon, only to find Santoro sneak up and steal it away before she can grab it. Furious, a wide-eyed Carmen Jennings shouts at Santoro as he taunts her from the outside, but before she can slip out of the ring to confront him, Decent lifts her from behind and drops her hard onto the mat with his Reverse Edge finishing maneuver.
Joe Hoffman: The cover! One! Two!! Three!!! Decent retains for the second straight week!
Bryan McVay: Here is your winner by way of pin fall in 11:22… and still your High Octane Wrestling LSD champion… JUSTIN DECENT!!!
Benny Newell: Oh well. She may have missed out on the LSD title tonight, but the night is young! Hey Carmen, when you’re done in there, come on over to the booth and make good ole’ Benny here a sammich. After all, there are plenty of kitchen utensils at your disposal… why waste ‘em?!?
Joe Hoffman: ANYWAYS… yeah. I think now is as good a time as ever to head to a commercial break before Benny ends up eating his words instead of his sandwich. We’ll be right back, folks.
A shot of Justin celebrating his title defense takes us into commercial break, all the while Carmen looks on from the ring with a mixed look of both rage and disappointment in what was her first – but certainly not the last – shot at gold here in HOW.
Finally a new HOR returns next week with a special Century Club Wednesday
A Bitter Request
We cut backstage to Lee Best’s office to find Lee sat back in his tall leather chair with his hands behind his head. Suddenly the office door flies open and we see an out of breath Carmen Jennings, a look of absolute rage spread across her face. Lee simply raises an eyebrow at her as she walks towards him. Lee removes his hands from behind his head and crosses them, his eyes locked toward Carmen.
Carmen: That was fucking bullshit! That bastard Santoro cost me the LSD title! I..
Carmen is cut off as Lee raises his hand and waves a finger in front of her face.
Lee Best: Seriously? You’ve stormed up here to whine about losing a match fair and square?
Carmen: FAIR AND SQUARE?! HE FU…
Lee slams his fist down hard on the desk obviously becoming suddenly enraged at Carmen’s tone
Lee Best: I fucking hope for your sake your not shouting at me. It was a hardcore match, what did you expect?
Carmen takes a deep breath and steps back, her face red with rage as she grits her teeth and clenches her fists even harder
Carmen: I told you I fought by the rules.
Lee Best: What the hell did you think would happen? It was a title match Miss Jennings; you’ll do well to remember where you’re stood right now.
Carmen steps forward, placing her hands on Lee’s desk and leaning forward, her red hair falling slightly into her face as she carries on looking straight back at Lee.
Carmen: You’ll do well to remember what I did for you at March to Glory.
Lee’s face becomes confused, looking back at Carmen it turns to anger, his patience obviously running out as Lee stands up.
Lee Best: I’ll beg your pardon? Don’t smart mouth me you whiney bitch.
Carmen: Kirsta Lewis ring any bells Lee? Besides your own of course.
Lee sits back down, crossing his arms as he looks up at Carmen who has finally caught her breath. A cocky smirk now appearing on her face.
Lee Best: Exactly what is it you expect me to do?
Carmen: I WANT to be in the War Games match, I want to get my hands on Justin Decent. Without Santoro being able to save him from getting his face smashed in.
Lee Best begins to shake his head, slightly laughing towards Carmen.
Lee Best: Your impressive, I’ll give you that but not this year.
Carmen slams her fists down on the desk once more, Lee brushing is off without a single change in his bored expression.
Carmen: I WANT something in return for what I did for you.
Lee Best: Well, since you’re so eager to be at War Games, how about a Sex and Violence match?
Carmen stands back up, folding her arms as she begins to ponder what Lee has in mind. A mixture of confusion and anticipation beinging to show on her face.
Carmen: Sex and Violence?
Lee Best: IF and I mean if, Static doesn’t make it onto Aceldama’s War Games team, you will face him at War Games, one on one.
Carmen’s eyes begin to widen, a burst of shock now on her face. Carmen began to nod, a feint smile beginning to appear on her face.
Carmen: Now that’s more like it.
Lee Best: If there’s nothing else, get the FUCK out of my office.
Carmen shrugs off Lee’s angry rise of tone in his voice and turns around, walking out of Lee’s office flicking her hair as he begins shuffling some papers as the camera’s cut to another part of the backstage area.
SCAT 1 Uprising 0
The High Octane Vision comes to life showing an office backstage within the Kallisten Arena. Simon Sparrow sits behind a desk wearing a black baseball jersey with gold lining. On the front, the jersey reads “S.C.A.T.” with gold lettering and with trim.
Simon Sparrow: Ladies and gentlemen, fans of High Octane Wrestling. Last week, I was unceremoniously discharged as General Manager of the HOW. Apparently, certain people feel—
Louis the Little Person (O.C.): LEE BEST!!!
Simon Sparrow: Yes, Lee Best…feels that my responsibilities would be a distraction going into War Games. Well, I could argue that point all day long, but we all know Lee is as stubborn as mule, so that would be exercise in futility.
The fact of the matter is, tonight I am taking on Christopher America for the High Octane Fighting Championship. The fact is, I’m not concerned about my match with Craptain America because honestly, he is not a priority for the King of Grapple from the Big Apple. Would I like to take the HOFC Title away from that obnoxious tool? Absolutely! Would I revel in shoving that title in the face of Max Kael, gloating, laughing, and proving once again how superior I am to him? Definitely.
Simon Sparrow opens one of the desk drawers, retrieves a pen, and places it on the desk.
Simon Sparrow: But my concern, my primary focus is on Herr Wolfgang Bruggemann and War Games. Last week, he had the audacity to call into question my leadership skills!
Louis the Little Person (O.C.): The kraut fuck!!!
Simon Sparrow turns towards Louis the Little Person.
Simon Sparrow: Thank you for your commentary and political correctness, Louis.
Louis the Little Person (O.C.): Was that fucking sarcasm I heard?
Simon Sparrow: I plead the fifth.
Simon Sparrow turns back to the camera.
Simon Sparrow: Anyway, back to Wolfgang Suck. My leadership skills have surpassed his! His pathetic excuse for a War Games team lacks unity. I will single-handedly bring unity to my team. How, you may ask? Louis? Show them.
The camera pans to Louis the Little Person who standing in front of a box. In each hand he holds a black baseball jersey that reads “S.C.A.T.” on the front. Louis turns the first one around to reveal “2” on the back in gold lettering with white trim and “O’NEAL” above it. Louis turns the other jersey around revealing the number “-99” with name “MAX FAIL” over that one.
Louis the Little Person: Is this a typo?
Simon Sparrow (O.C.): MATCHING JERSEYS!!!
The camera pans back to Simon Sparrow who is spinning the pen on the desk.
Simon Sparrow: You have made it mind numbingly clear that War Games will be your last match, that your body is broken and you just can’t take it any more. Boo-Hoo-Hoo! You want to go out at War Games on a high note!
Simon Sparrow takes a sarcastic sniff and wipes an imaginary tear from his eye. Then he smiles.
Simon Sparrow: Do you honestly believe your little ragtag island of misfit toys you call a War Games team is any match for the Hall of Fame team? I think not!
Louis the Little Person (O.C.): They’re a bunch of fucking mooks!
Simon Sparrow: Wolfgang Bruggemann, you came out and stated that your goal at War Games would be to take me down with you. Not a chance, Wolfie!!! That’s not going to happen. You might high on life holding on to that HOW Championship, but have you forgotten already “March to Glory”? Have you forgotten that moment where your hand was tapping the mat and you were crying like a little girl for mercy? I haven’t. It’s a highlight of my career.
It’s odd that you mention since my return, my legacy has suffered, as if a victory against you is meaningless. The Sparrow Committee Against Terrorism made a statement that night. I proved to the naysayers that Simon Sparrow is better than Wolfgang Bruggemann. But I want to take it a step further….
You won the HOW Championship and I can see, retirement or not, you are brimming with confidence. I will be the man who will rob you of that confidence. It will be my mission to break you down, Wolfie! I plan on picking you a part the same way a vulture picks off the rotting meat of decayed carcass.
Simon Sparrow lifts up the fountain pen.
Simon Sparrow: As the saying goes, the pen is mightier than the sword. Of course, Lee has given that little proverb new meaning, of course. But with this pen….I will continue my cause. With this pen….I will sign my guaranteed title contract and use it to take the HOW Championship from you!!!
Louis the Little Person (O.C.): That’s right, Adolf Shitler!!! You heard him!!!
Simon Sparrow turns to Louis the Little Person.
Simon Sparrow: Do you mind??? I’m the zone here! I can’t have you making your little semi-ignorant statements that throw me off course!
Louis the Little Person (O.C.): Sorry.
Simon Sparrow turns back to the camera.
Simon Sparrow: Walrus McPoopypants….Wolfgang Bruggemann…Assy Llama….I will beat you for the title when the time comes. And that time will be dictated by me! And after I become the HOW Champion, at “War Games”, I will make sure your career ends on the sourest of notes. That is a GUARANTEE!!!
Simon Sparrow smiles and spins the fountain pen on the desk as the scene ends.
Max Kael wanted to make sure this advert followed Sparrows segment so he could have the last word?
HOFC Title Match
Christopher America vs. Simon Sparrow
Joe Hoffman: Welcome back folks, last week we saw Christopher America defend his HOFC title successfully against James Ranger in the Lethal Lottery, something many called an easy task. But this week America will have a much tougher time defending his title.
Benny Newell: That’s because he is facing Simon Sparrow!! The future of the HOFC division.
Speaking of Sparrow he makes his way down to the ring, getting a mixed reaction from the crowd as he enters the ring.
Joe Hoffman: Who’s to say that he even deserves to be in this match? Who in the HOFC division has he beaten? He didn’t even finish the LSD #1 contenders match last week.
Benny Newell: Lee Best says so Joe! And Simon should have never been forced to compete in such a barbaric match.
Joe Hoffman: And Last Man Standing isn’t barbaric?
Christopher America makes his way down to the ring carrying his 3/5ths person belt as Ethan Cavanaugh follows him with the HOFC title on his shoulder. We can see fans cheering for America while booing Ethan. America tries to get into the ring but Simon won’t let him as he goes onto the attack laying the boot to America. The referee pulls him back as he calls for the bell and America takes the title off his waist and hits Sparrow with it. But with it missing the faceplate, the leather has no affect on Sparrow who connects with a boot to the stomach and hits the Falling Star on America.
Benny Newell: Hahaha, a stupid slave would hit someone with a belt with no faceplate.
Joe Hoffman: I’d apologize but I don’t think we can’t offend anyone we haven’t already…. America is down as Stevens starts the count…
America starts to stir as Simon slides out of the ring and grabs a steel chair from ringside as he slides into the ring with it and takes a swing at America as he gets back to his feet, but America ducks and hits an America DDT on Sparrow. Heading for the corner he climbs the ropes and hits an American legdrop as the crowd starts to roar. Pulling Sparrow to his feet America whips him into the corner and charges in hitting a hard clothesline. Sparrow staggers out of the corner and America starts connecting with punches before hitting a spinebuster right onto the steel chair Sparrow had brought in.
Joe Hoffman: Sparrow in trouble!
Benny Newell: I’ll help you Simon!
Benny tries to get up but Joe pulls him back to his seat as benny throws a shot back and starts to fake pout.
Simon starts to move and Stevens breaks the count as Simon climbs back to his feet and America whips Sparrow back to a corner and again charges, this time hitting the American Express on Sparrow as the building roars with cheers. Simon stumbles out of the corner and right into America who connects with For America in the center of the ring.
Joe Hoffman: That is it folks, Simon is done here!
Simon is able to get to his knees as Stevens is satisfied and stops the count. America, starting to get frustrated grabs the steel chair and swings for Simon’s head with him still on his knees but Simon this time ducks the chair shot and as America turns around Simon kicks up at America, sending the steel chair into his face. Catching the chair as America drops it Sparrow drills America with a nasty chair shot that sends him through the ropes and to the outside. Sparrow follows him as America struggles to pull himself up on the announce table and again Sparrow cracks him with the steel chair as Benny cheers him on.
Joe Hoffman: Damnit you spilled jack on me!
Joe Hoffman: It’s celebratory Joe! We have a new champion!
Sparrow raises the chair in the air, as the HOW fans look on and boo.
Sparrow drops the chair and closes his eyes, taking in his approaching victory.
The count stops as the crowd roars and Sparrow opens his eyes and turns around to America who has just grabbed Benny’s glass bottle of jack and smashes it over Sparrow’s head, sending jack Daniels everywhere around them as America for the second time in the match hits For America! With the crowd going crazy and Benny licking Jack off the announce table.
Joe Hoffman: Sparrow, bloodied by the glass bottle is laid out in front of us… No you can’t lick my jacket Benny!
Benny Newell: Someone call 911!
……Tell them I need another bottle of Jack!
Joe Hoffman: Is Sparrow moving?
Benny Newell: Yes! Yes!
Joe Hoffman: No! He’s out!
DING, DING, DING
Bryan Mcvay: The winner of this match and STILL the HOW HOFC Champion….. Christopher America!!!
America rolls into the ring and staggers to his feet as Ethan joins him, raising the HOFC title above his head in celebration as America tries to reach for the title but Ethan hands him his 3/5ths title and pushes him away.
Joe Hoffman: America retains the HOFC title in a brutal battle, and Sparrow may think twice before trying to go after the HOFC title again.
Benny Newell: He was robbed Joe! Chris can’t use my bottle of Jack as a weapon! That is a rule somewhere! First O’Neal, not Sparrow…. It’s a damn conspiracy! I bet the FBI is involved!
Joe Hoffman: Were going to let Benny continue ranting as we head to the backstage area where something big is going down?
The Power of Christ compells you
Even though a week had passed and he had made sure the consequences for such foul actions were known to everyone watching, as well as felt by the culprit, the memory was still there. Maintaining its grip on his mind as desperately as the fingertips of a man clutching onto the edge of the cliff he is about to fall from, the memory of what Vince Jones had done – and had cost him – had lingered over all those days.
And it lingered still, even now, as the cameras returned to the backstage area to see Shane Reynolds pacing furiously back and forth across the floor of his locker room. His heavy black boots stomped heavily upon its surface as he continued to chew relentlessly on his fingernails.
Shane Reynolds: I can’t let it happen again. I can’t!
Shane wasn’t even aware he had spoken, much less yelled the words, he continued back and forth and back again. He had spoken to Crow numerous times now, even before Turmoil began, and, trusting him, Shane knew he wouldn’t pull any foolish stunts or mess up like Jones had. But, as the saying went, if you want something done right then you have to do it yourself. It was as much up to him as it was Crow to ensure everything tonight went smoothly, that Max is beaten as badly – if not worse – than all the times Shane had beaten him previously and that Mike Plow is exposed as the laughable champion he is.
But to do that, he needed to keep this anger pent up, so as to boil and intensify beneath the surface over the many minutes until the main-event, when he would unleash it even more savagely than he had against Vince Jones himself. In order to secure this victory, he needed it and he needed to remain focused on that and nothing else.
….So to say he was visibly annoyed when a clenched fist rapped lightly on the locker room door would be an understatement.
Shane Reynolds: Alright! Hold on a minute!
Shane said, now consciously yelling, as the impatient party on the opposite side of the door knocked again, louder than the first time. The word party turns out to be accurate as he reaches the door and pulls it open, confronted by a group of about six people – four men and two women. All are dressed in smart suits and have gold crucifixes hanging around their necks over the top. Each of them carrying a bible held reverently in both of their hands.
‘Do you have Christ in your heart?’
They all ask in unison, holding up their bibles, as all Shane’s anger immediately fades, and his face changes to bear an expression of bemused, slack-jawed confusion that can only be described as priceless.
Shane Reynolds: Are you kidding me? What are you talking about? I don’t have time for this.
Once again furious, Shane immediately goes to close the door…only to have it typically held from doing so by one of the men sticking his foot between it and the frame. He offers a wimping sound as wood crushes hard against it….
…and then Shane is caught further off-guard as suddenly the door is forced backwards by all six men, sending Shane staggering a few steps backwards. The tallest of the men – clean-shaven with closely cropped hair and sporting a name-badge which reads: John – takes the lead and is the first to grab hold of Shane.
Shane Reynolds: What the hell do you think you’re doing?
None of them pay any attention to Shane’s question, however, as the other men rush in to help restrain Shane, whilst the two women stand back.
John: He was right….
He turned towards his associates as they force the struggling former ICON and World champion over to a nearby chair and push him into a seated position.
John: …He said he would shun the word of the Lord!
The sound of someone spitting angrily on the floor – the someone being the woman on Shane’s left labeled as Mary, he sees, as the men force his arms back and restrain him to the chair.
Mary: He really is the devil.
Obviously referring to him, Shane snaps an angry glare towards her, as he futile attempt to get up from the chair.
Shane Reynolds: You think I’m the devil? You wait until I’m out of this chair, then you’ll see how right you are. Who the hell put you up to this?
Silence remains as Shane begins to seethe further.
Shane Reynolds: WHO?!?
The answer comes straight away then, not from the mouths of anybody in the room, but in the form of a face which immediately appears in the doorway: That of MPlow – nattily sporting the now thick beard he’s been grooming. Keeping the rest of his body from view, he smiles broadly into the room.
ChristPlow: Has the heathen been restrained….?
Seeing Shane is, he then immediately jumps into the room, wearing his own white robe and sandals on his bare feet.
ChristPlow: ….Not that it matters. Not with my Jesus batteries at full power.
He proclaims, raising his own hands up as a speaks, winking all the while at the two ladies as he strolls in.
ChristPlow: I don’t believe that we have been formally introduced. Many times in your life will a group of folks approach your door and ask if you’ve found Jesus Christ, but I assure you it’s not often that they afford you the opportunity to meet him– in the flesh.
Plow reaches out to shake hands with Shane, mockingly.
ChristPlow: How silly of me, at the moment you appear to be a bit– tied up– with other things.
He glances behind him, at the overwhelming silence in the room. The glance quickly turns to a glare, as the Biblical terrorist squad scurries to begin laughing at his unfunny pun.
Shane Reynolds: Do you have any idea what I’m going to do to you when I get out of this chair, Plow? I’m going to show you that you may be able to pull this stuff on others, but not on me. And I’m gonna do it by beating you into a–
ChristPlow: You’ll do nothing to me that I haven’t experienced in my former life, Shane. Watch that Mel Gibson movie sometime… the guy is batshit crazy, but he sure knows how to beat a Jesus.
Shane Reynolds: Oh, my god. You really THINK your jesus. Haha. I was buried alive…and here I am, in the flesh. If anybody is a GODDAMN MESSIAH around here, it’s me. And if you don’t untie me right now, I swear to–
MPlow smiles, putting a finger to Shane’s lips to shush him up. Reynolds can do little to stop him, being held to the chair. Plow snaps his fingers, and John steps forward, removing a bag from the hollowed out Bible he’s carrying. It’s a smallish knapsack, which Plow quickly begins pulling things from. He tosses aside first rubber chicken, and then a very nasty looking scalpel with a hook on the end.
Shane Reynolds: Oh hell no! Spare me all of this voodoo blasphemy crap!! I’m giving you one last chance, or I’ll damn well chew through this rope and snap your neck. I mean–
ChristPlow: SILENCE HEATHEN!
Not out of being commanded, but out of sheer surprise Shane stops talking.
ChristPlow: I assure you that those first two items I pulled from the bag were purely for comic relief. What I was looking for, friend, was–
He reaches one last time into the bag, producing a small vial of some kind of clear substance.
ChristPlow: …this. Holy water.
He pulls the cap off of the vial, sprinkling some of the water into his left palm. Suddenly, he rears back, slapping Shane as hard as he can across the left side of his face, screaming as he does it.
ChristPlow: THE POWER OF CHRISTPLOW COMPELS YOU!
Shane recoils hard from the slap, a snarl of rage escaping his mouth as MPlow makes contact with his skin. He struggles hard against his bindings.
ChristPlow: It’s exactly as I feared, followers. The beast inside him is growing defiant. Well, you know what ChristPlow always says about Defiance…
He sprinkles a bit more water into his right hand, rearing back and cracking Shane even harder with his dominant hand, once again yelling religious babble.
ChristPlow: DOMINUS ANUS!
This time Shane nearly knocks the chair over, fighting to free himself from his captives. The veins in his neck begin to bulge, a looking hatred in his eyes as MPlow simply shakes his head.
ChristPlow: You’re not angry with me, Shane. You’re angry with the demon in your soul. See, there can only be one baby Jesus, kiddo, and I’ve got that niche covered. Why have you come back from the dead? It’s hard to say. You could be an average, run of the mill zombie– brains and all that. But the Holy Water should have taken good care of that. No, my suspicions are confirmed. You, Shane Reynolds, are the Anti-Christ.
Shane Reynolds: I’m gonna tear your fucking throat out, you crazy fucking hippie.
ChristPlow: Ah, demons say the darndest things. It looks like we’re going to have to step up the treatment, Bible Squad. Bring me… the Elmo hands.
Solemnly, Mary and John walk out of the room, as Shane stares in rageful bewilderment.
Shane Reynolds: Elmo ha– what? You’re a dead man. I’m gonna murder you. No resurrections, no false death certificates. I’m… going… to murder… you.
Mary and John reappear, holding a pair of Tickle-Me-Elmo hands on a velvet pillow. They regally place them over MPlow’s left and right hands, and then apply the Holy water directly to the fuzzy red gloves.
ChristPlow: By the power invested in my by the state of Chicago–
One of the Bible Squad whispers something into his ear.
ChristPlow: By the CITY of Chicago, in the state of Illinois, and by the almighty Jesus Magic inferred to me from my father the Lord God, I command the evil within this zombie Anti-Christ-Tickle-Me-Emo to be transferred into these pure and giggling Elmo hands. DEMON COME OUT!
MPlow begins rapid fire slapping Shane across both sides of his face, yelling in what appears to be random Latin words. All the while, the Elmo hands make their haunting noises.
Elmo Hands: TEE HEE HEE! TEE HEE HEE!
Shane Reynolds: I’m gonna– ahhh– fuck– would you fucking– hey! Knock it– what the–
Elmo Hands: THAT TICKLES! TEE HEE HEE!
MPlow stops suddenly, staring at the Elmo hands as he goes weak in the knees.
ChristPlow: He’s too strong. The demon inside this one has planted himself too deep. I can’t risk ruining these Elmo gloves. We must go now, Bible Squad.
ChristPlow: Hurry! Flee! Retreat!
He yells repeatedly as he swings his arms wildly, ushering each of the squad members out of the room and into the corridor.
Mary: What do we do about the demon?
She expresses her disgust again by once more spitting on the floor.
ChristPlow: Do you have to keep doing that? These sandals weren’t cheap y’know….
MPlow then pauses from his position in the doorway to glance back into the room, locking eyes with one half of his opponents for tonight’s imminent main-event.
ChristPlow: …And there’s only one thing we can do. We must seal this door and banish the demon forever into darkness. Never to be disturbed.
All of the followers remain out of view, but their collective voices are all heard once again in unison as they all utter a solemn Amen. As they do so, MPlow pulls the door shut. Shane, meanwhile, continues to struggle as he has been the entire time, only more furiously now as all light leaves the room. He yells and screams vehemently as he does so and the rope winds deeper against his skin.
Shane Reynolds: I’ll get you for this. You hear me. I’m gonna–
He falls once again silent as the door once again opens….and MPlow charges back in. Delivering a quick kick to Shane’s mid-section, knocking him backwards and sending him crashing to the floor in the chair, MPlow then immediately rushes back to the door.
ChristPlow: Okay….Now we seal the demon in. May Daddy have mercy on his soul!
Darkness once again return to the room as MPlow pulls the door closed and this time locks it. The footsteps of the Bible Terrorist Squad can be heard heading away, led by the distinctive slap-slap sound of MPlow’s sandals, who offers one last heard sentence before the camera cuts away to commercial.
ChristPlow: And Voila! The holy water has become vodka.
WAR GAMES MATCH
Aceldama, Justin Decent, ?? , ?? and ?? vs. Simon Sparrow, Max Kael, Mark O’Neal, ?? and ??
SEX N VIOLENCE MATCH
Carmen Jennings vs. Static
That Chains that Bind
The scene fades back to inside of the Kallisten Coliseum where the fans are still buzzing, a scattering applause marking the cameras panning over the arena. The light noise turns into a chorus of boos and jeers as Ethan Cavanaugh comes out, still in his ring gear and a black t-shirt carrying what appearts to be a wooden quaterstaff. No music is played for his march down the ramp. His expression never shifts past solemn as Ethan stomps up the steps and enters the Turmoil ring, glaring at the hostile crowd surrounding him. For a moment Cavanaugh simply stands in the middle of the ring, absorbing the random ‘You Suck’ chant that seems to have broken out. The camera zooms in from the side as Cavanaugh takes a microphone from the timekeeper and begins slowly.
Cavanaugh: My name is Ethan Cavanaugh.
There are maybe one or two claps but they are quickly drowned out by more jeering. Cavanaugh, for his part, allows the crowd their brief moment before getting back to business.
Cavanaugh: For weeks now, my good name has been besmirched and slandered not only over the Internet but in the Media. My business outside of HOW has come under attack, with the hope that they can choke me into submission through my investments. All of this has occurred thanks to an event precipitated on this very program and it is time for those fueling the attack machine trying to break my legs and make me bow to take full responsibility for their actions. From the very moment I spoke out here in High Octane Wrestling about Men and Slaves, many have waited in the shadows; hoping for my fall. What I said then is true now; only instead of my words now I have a visual to show the Parasites exactly how low they are compared to free men.
Benny Newell: Some girl wanted me to be her slave once. Best $2.75 I ever spent.
Joe Hoffman: I’m pretty sure that’s not what Ethan Cavanaugh is talking about.
Cavanaugh: For all of his success, for all of his talent, Christopher America is like many of you right here; a slave. I have made that situation a literal one, but for the rest of you it is psychological. Everyone in here is a slave to something; maybe it is your job or your significant other. Maybe it is to popular culture or fashion. Maybe it is to an addiction that you aren’t strong enough to overcome. But, like the weak fools trying to destroy me, like Christopher America, you are slaves. Its not your fault…
A flash of annoyance crosses Cavanaugh’s eyes as he is drowned out by an even loud throng of boos. The Turmoil faithful clearly have no interesting in hearing the explanation behind America’s slavery. However, their reaction doesn’t seem to surprise Cavanaugh; just irritate him. He again takes a silent moment, bouncing the wooden staff on his shoulder until the noise begins to soften; at which point he goes at it again.
Cavanaugh: It is not your fault. This society, this culture, calls for you to be slaves to someone. That is why I have decided to show you the difference between me and you by showing you the differences between myself and someone like Christopher America. Just like many of you, no matter how high he rises, as long as his contract holds, he will be nothing but property. Just as right now as Christopher America is HOFC Championship in Name Only. This title is my property and its fate is mine to decide. Why? Because I am not a Slave. I bow to nothing and no one. I am not defined by anyone or anything other than myself while America, for this, allowed himself to become less than a Man. That is not championship material, unfortunately that seems to be what HOW has been cursed with and that is a curse I intend on lifting personally.
Joe Hoffman: How generous of him.
Benny Newell: Are you kidding?! I didn’t ask for his help when my Mistress brought out the anal beads and I don’t need his help now!
Joe Hoffman: [groans] It was sarcasm Benny. Sarcasm.
Cavanaugh: But please do not misunderstand me, because I am not here to save anyone. I am here to condemn a way of life and define something better. I know the Parasites in the media, the weak minds who try to destroy my success because they couldn’t find it on their own…I know they are all watching and tonight I plan on making an example of exactly what you will be seeing from now until War Games. Understand that I take no pleasure in what I have to do. But as a man it is what is necessary: it is what must be done. With that said: bring him out!
Cavanaugh turns towards the ramp where HOW security is nearly dragging out the just victorious Christopher America by the chains binding his arms and legs. The fans begin to cheer him some, even breaking into an ‘America’ chant for a moment while security forces Chris into the ring and begins to attached his chains to the top rope. America begins to struggles as the padlocks click into place and the guards back away as Cavanaugh begins prodding the back of America’s head with the staff.
Cavanaugh: Now, this is for you to understand Christopher. Yes you might of just retained the 3/5ths title but now is the time for you to understand exactly where you stand in this whole thing. For the slave in you to die you must confront it; not run from it. And over these past few weeks it is clear that you will only confront it if you are forced to do so, just as any other parasite would.
Cavanaugh drops the microphone and lines up behind America as Chris tries to break away, stopped by a sudden lashing by Cavanaugh with the staff. America howls in pain, his knees buckle as Cavanaugh takes a step back, warming up for another shot.
Cavanaugh (off-mic): You are a slave! Say it!
America continues to groan in pain, not responding to Cavanaugh’s demand. Ethan clearly doesn’t take it very well and attacks again, leaving a near slash across America’s back after the second strike.
Cavanaugh (off-mic): Say it you stupid bastard!
The arena crowd begins chanting ‘No’ as America struggles to just staying standing. America, this time, responds by shaking his head No: possibly in too much pain to speak. Cavanaugh grits his teeth, chokes up on the staff and nails America directly in between the shoulders: this shot hard enough to drop him to his knees. Not asking again Cavanaugh unleashes the beating, striking America’s back again and again with the impact sounding just over the noise of the boos raining down on him. Ethan Cavanaugh, however, does not relent. Small rivers of blood begin to form on the back of Christopher America as he howls, trying to at least get back on his feet. Cavanaugh, however, doesn’t allow it and strikes him on the back of knee; dropping him again. Letting the staff go Cavanaugh drops to a knee and steps of the back of America’s head, choking him along the middle rope. The crowd continues chanting; although by this point its practically hopeless. Cavanaugh release the choke and steps back, looking at the bloodied form of Christopher America. He picks up the staff again, glaring at America before striking him on the back one last time. The last hit sends America into a thrashing fit with him convulsing on the ropes in pain and frustration before dropping to the mat; hanging just barely by his chained wrists.
Cavanaugh (off-mic): You are worthless….worthless.
Ethan Cavanaugh glares at America one more time before stepping out of the ring, allowing for the trainers to slide in and check on America’s condition. Cavanaugh walks up the ramp as the cameras head to the back as we take a final commercial break.
Official sponsor of all H.O.W. dead people…and those that rise from the dead….ahemShaneReynoldsahem
Max Kael & ChristPlow vs. Shane Reynolds & Crow
Tag Team Match
Back from the final commercial break of the evening, the in-ring presence of HOW’s new ICON champion, ChristPlow is a sign that the Main Event is already underway. As Bryan McVay finishes his introduction, ‘Come With Me’ by Puff Daddy begins blaring over the speakers; the fans rising to their feet for Crow, who emerges after several long moments. Looking rather uninterested to compete, Crow slowly strides down the ramp, stopping short of the ring to wait for his tag team partner.
Joe Hoffman: Folks, welcome back to Thursday Night Turmoil. As you can see, it is time for our Main Event match that was initially scheduled to be a Tag Team affair between four of the most unique individuals that have ever stepped foot inside of this arena. Since then, it has turned into a 2-on-1 Handicap match in the absence of Team Best War Games member Maximillian Kael. Benny, I have to ask… how is MPlow going to fare against two of the most accomplished wrestlers this company has ever seen?
Benny Newell: First of all, how dare you fucking use that name to address our Lord and Savoir! Second of all, it’s BULLSHIT that ChristPlow is being forced to compete tonight under these circumstances. Might as well just feed him to the dogs or throw him off a bridge or something… FUCK! Wait a second!
Looking innocently at Crow, Benny quickly shifts his eyes as if he didn’t say anything.
Joe Hoffman: Well regardless of the circumstances, MPlow…
Benny Newell: ChristPlow! C’mon Joe, take a fucking Adderall or something and wake up!
Joe Hoffman: Right, erm… ChristPlow will be going up against two former World and ICON champions; the irony being that the man standing before him right now is actually the current Number-one Contender to his title.
Suddenly, Crow’s theme music is replaced by Bloodsimple’s ‘Dead Man Walking’. A mixed reaction ensues in anticipation for Shane Reynolds, who fails to appear on the stage after nearly a minute of his music playing.
Benny Newell: Sorry Crow! Shane’s a little tied up at the moment.
In the ring, ChristPlow tries his hardest not to grin from ear-to-ear, knowing that he was the one responsible for Shane’s non-arrival. Visibly perturbed that his tag team partner has left him in the dark, Crow barks something to referee Matt Boettcher, who orders him into the ring despite his insistence not to. The scowl on Crow’s face says it all; that his original desire to get his hands on Mario Maurako has since turned against him into a battle against the man he could potentially face for the ICON title.
Joe Hoffman: Looks like Crow is going to go one-on-one with ChristPlow!
With Boettcher’s call for the bell, Joe immediately takes to the action, where ChristPlow approaches Crow acting as if he was Jesus. Unimpressed with ChristPlow’s attempt at getting under his skin, Crow stands confidently before his opponent as if it was he – not Mike Plow – that was the current ICON champion. This upsets ChristPlow, who becomes angry that his antics have been ineffective. Growing increasingly impatient, ChristPlow cocks back his arm and moves to strike his opponent, but Crow is there to catch him and deliver an onslaught of right hands that staggers the ICON champion back into a corner.
Joe Hoffman: Remember folks, ChristPlow was a mid-week substitution for former HOW World champion Mario Maurako. Given his unfamiliarity with Crow, you can only hope that he’ll quickly wise up to the talents of one of the longest reigning champions in HOW history.
After a few resounding Knife Edge Chops, Crow positions himself onto the middle rope before leaping upwards and connecting with a Hurricanrana on ChristPlow, which he then follows up with an immediate pin cover.
Benny Newell: Shit! This one could be over before it starts!
Joe Hoffman: No! ChristPlow kicks out!
Quickly, both men stand to their feet but the surprise of Crow’s near fall still has ChristPlow caught off-guard. Fortunately for him, ‘Dead Man Walking’ kicks throughout the speakers once more serves to distract Crow, allowing ChristPlow to shake off the cobwebs and sneak up behind his opponent with a roll up.
Joe Hoffman: One! Two!! NO!!!
Despite kicking out, Crow quickly finds himself on the defensive as ChristPlow keeps him grounded with an elbow into the sternum, taking the air out of his lungs in the process. With Shane Reynolds’ music still blasting throughout the arena, ChristPlow gets as many licks as he can in on Crow, using a plethora of strikes, torques, and wrenches on his limbs in an effort to weaken his opponent. Before long, Crow fins himself being dragged to the center of the ring, where the ICON champion applies his Sharpshooter submission finisher.
Joe Hoffman: MPlowsia on Crow! And still no sign of Shane Reynolds!
Benny Newell: Ha-ha! He’s done, Joe! The fucker’s got nowhere to go… no option but to tap out!
While in a tremendous amount of pain, Crow is fortunately able to hold on despite the increased pressure that ChristPlow is applying on his submission.
Benny Newell: Don’t worry about it, Joe. I mean, just look at the fucker! He’s bound to tap any second now…
…until of course, a shadowy sight emerges from the curtain; one that gains an unusual reception of cheers from the hostile Chicago crowd.
Joe Hoffman: It’s Shane Reynolds!
Still tied to the chair, Shane furiously struggles his way down the entrance ramp and smashes himself into a ringside barrier, breaking the chair to pieces. With Crow looking like he’s about seconds away from tapping out, Shane hurries to free himself from his shackles and slides into the ring, raging with fury after what ChristPlow pulled on him earlier in the show. Seeing this, ChristPlow is forced to release Crow from his Sharpshooter and charges at Reynolds, who lands a few stiff Clotheslines on the ICON champion before Boettcher intervenes and pulls him off.
Joe Hoffman: Well technically, Shane Reynolds was scheduled to compete in this match, hence the no call from Matt Boettcher on the disqualification. Still, it’s Crow – not Reynolds – that is the legal man in this match!
With Crow still trying to recover, Shane stalls on Boettcher’s orders for as long as possible; tinkering on the brink of a DQ until he finally reverts to his team’s corner.
Benny Newell: So…what? Now it’s a fucking Handicap match again?!?
Joe Hoffman: I suppose so. Whoa, lookout!
Realizing that the odds are now against him, ChristPlow scurries to his feet and finds Crow has finally made it to his.
Joe Hoffman: Crow has got to be feeling the effects of MPlowsia right now, but all he has to do is turn around and make the tag to Shane Reynolds!
With his back turned to his tag team partner, Crow struggles to shrug off the pain, finding himself unaware of his position in the ring. With Shane screaming for the hot tag behind him, Crow suddenly notices ChristPlow charging full-force in his direction. Instinctively, he meets Plow with a Drop Toe Hold, driving the head of his opponent right into the corner turnbuckle! Standing to his feet, Crow slumps over the ropes out of exhaustion, needing a few tense moments before he realizes that he can actually make the tag to a fresh man. With Plow back on his feet, Crow dives forward out of desperation and slaps the hand of his tag team partner, who leaps over the top rope and enters the ring with frightening intensity.
Joe Hoffman: What a HUGE shift in momentum in the favor of Shane Reynolds and Crow!
Benny Newell: FUCK! See Joe?!? I told you this was bullshit!
Raging from the ChristPlow’s prank, Shane begins demolishing him with a flurry of stomps, bracing himself using the ropes for extra support and effect. With Plow in perfect position, Shane effortlessly leaps to the top rope and connects with a Springboard Split-Legged Moonsault.
Benny Newell: GET UP CHRISTPLOW! Use the power of Almighty Jeebus if you have to!
Before Reynolds can apply the pin, the lights in the Kallisten Coliseum flicker uncontrollably.
Benny Newell: Shit! I didn’t mean it literally!
With confusion abound, the lights go out completely, turning the entire Kallisten Coliseum black for what seems like an eternity. A few moments later the lights come back on to unveil the return of a former LSD champion, who unexpectedly appears in ChristPlow’s corner.
Joe Hoffman: That’s David Black!
Benny Newell: The fuck is he doing here?!?
Joe Hoffman: It looks like he has come to the aid of ChristPlow! Folks, the sides have been evened here in your Main Event match on Turmoil!
Crow and Shane Reynolds look to each other in confusion as David Black literally BEGS ChristPlow for the tag. Seeing this, Shane scrambles to prevent the tag but is a second too late in doing so. Storming into the ring, Black hops over what we presume to be his tag team partner and delivers a Blackout to a charging Shane Reynolds, followed by another Blackout to Crow for coming to the aid of his partner. Suddenly, the fans are unsure of who to cheer for bearing witness to the return of the longest reigning LSD champion of all time, despite the fact that he’s teaming with the uber-heel ChristPlow.
Joe Hoffman: What a statement by David Black, who has just laid out both Shane Reynolds and Crow here tonight in his return to High Octane Wrestling!
With tension mounting in the arena, Black reaches his hand out to ChristPlow, who smiles due to the fact that Black just saved his ass. In helping Plow to his feet, Black dusts off the ICON champion’s shoulder as a means of telling him ‘he’s ok, now that the sides are evened up’. ChristPlow smirks in response and motions to dispose of the two men that are slowly recovering before them. Black nods in agreement and ensures the legal tag to ChristPlow, the man who has competed in this match from the start.
Favoring his neck and chest from the Blackout, Crow staggers to his feet, only to receive a Drop Kick from ChristPlow that shoots him flying out of the ring. Having disposed of the former World Champion, Plow turns his sights to the recently inducted Hall of Famer and spins around to confront Shane Reynolds.
Joe Hoffman: Wait a minute! What the- ??!!
Benny Newell: NOOOOOOOOOO! BLACKOUT ON CHRISTPLOW! THAT FUCKING SON OF A BITCH!
Leaving the fans and announcers in a state of shock, David Black quietly slips out of the ring – solemn in his demeanor, but noticeably satisfied with the carnage that he’s caused. As he walks up the ramp, Shane Reynolds – the legal man of his team, if you’re still keeping track – finds ChristPlow lying nearly unconscious before him. Confused as to what happened, Shane does the only thing he can do and hooks the leg of ChristPlow.
Bryan McVay: Here are your winners by way of pin fall in 15:44… SHANE REYNOLDS… AND CROW!!!
Benny Newell: Well, shit! If that wasn’t a clusterfuck of a match, I sure as hell don’t know what one is!
Black quickly rolls out of the ring as the crowd is unsure on how to react.
“Well done mate…well done”
Everyone shifts their attention towards the entrance ramp where we see the World Champion Aceldama standing flanked by Justin Decent and Santoro.
“Ladies and Gentlemen I would like to introduce the next member of my War Games team…DAVID BLAAAACCCCKKKKK!!!!’
As Turmoil comes to an end we see The World Champion and LSD Champion smiling and clapping as their teammate David Black smiles at the carnage inside the ring.
END OF LIVE FEED
WAR GAMES MATCH
Aceldama, Justin Decent, David Black , ?? and ?? vs. Simon Sparrow, Max Kael, Mark O’Neal, ?? and ??
SEX N VIOLENCE MATCH
Carmen Jennings vs. Static
**BONUS SEG 1**
**HOUR AFTER THE SHOW**
Aceldama is seen backstage, fully dressed in his fine suit, clutching onto his sportsbag. His world title draped around his shoulder. He is walking down the corridor and stops outside a door, which is closed. He goes into his sports bag and brings out a piece of paper, unfolds it and reads it. He goes to knock on the door, then sighs. Then he stops, looking at the piece of paper again.
Aceldama- I can’t believe I am about to do this…..
As he is about to knock on the door he is blindsided and knocked to the floor outside the room. You see a set of shoes as someone kneels down in front of the lifeless body of Aceldama and picks up the piece of paper, the camera pans up to find the person who took out Aceldama.
It was Shane Reynolds.
He was looking at the piece of paper, then he goes into his pocket and pulls out a pen and seems to scribble away something then writes something on it. He stands up and throws the piece of paper down on the body of Aceldama, then gives a sickly grin.
Shane Reynolds- You can count me in……old friend
Shane walks away as the body of Aceldama lies sprawled across the corridor as you can hear something happening off camera as the camera pans to the piece of paper. It seems to be a letter made for the person behind that very door.
It is an invitation to be a member of Aceldama’s war games team, the name of the person in question scribed out so much it can no longer be read and Shane Reynolds name placed on it instead, and his signature.
We move across the body of Aceldama and we see Reynolds is now gone, but he left something, a statement. The world title belt is now across his stomach and his name has been removed and replaced in crude handwriting……SHANE REYNOLDS.
A MARVELOUS UPDATE
The scene opens on Maurako Island just off the coast of Maine. Mario Maurako is sporting blue jeans, a HOW T-Shirt and a neck-brace while being pushed in a wheel chair by his father King Matteo. As Matteo pushes the wheel chair up toward the house, but as they approach the door opens and Mosé exits the Maurako cabin pulling along some luggage bags. Mario is shocked and nearly jumps out of his wheel chair.
Mario: Where are you going?
Mosé: I just had a long talk with Mom and I think she’s right. I need to at least go to College for a little while and make sure that this is what I want to do with the rest of my life.
Mario: You’re Mom?! Dammit Crow, why didn’t you just kill the bitch when you had a chance? I’ll set her straight!
Mosé: Ok she’s in the house with Martino.
Mario: She’s here now?
Matteo: What in the World?! We’re gone for a week in the hospital and everything falls apart.
Mario: You’re telling me.
Mosé continues to exit towards the waiting Air Maurako jet plane, while Matteo and Mario continue onward to the cabin.
Mario: If Amanda’s in there I’m going to do what Crow couldn’t ever seem to do.
Matteo pushes the door open and wheels Mario into the house only to reveal Martino & Bobbinette making out on the sofa. Mario does indeed jump out of his wheel chair at the sight of this and runs over and rips the two apart.
Mario: What in the hell is going on here!?
Martino: Well after Bobbinette here talked Mosé into going back to College I decided to show her that photo of you and Emily… and then one thing lead to another.
Mario: One thing led to another!? There is a huge ass gap in events there.
Bobbinette: Oh shove it Mario. You hit my ass in the head with that Championship Belt back at March to Glory, and Martino showed me the pictures of you and that whore Emily.
Mario: You leave the World Title out of this; she didn’t do anything to you!
Bobbinette reaches behind the sofa and grabs a steal brief case and hands it to Mario.
Bobbinette: I think your dumb ass will need these.
Mario opens the briefcase to reveal divorce papers. Mario’s face immediately turns red with anger but then he just starts laughing.
Bobbinette: What’s wrong with your cracker ass?
Mario grabs the papers from the briefcase and rips them up in front of her face.
Mario: You can’t divorce me you worthless bitch, because this is Maurako Island sweetheart. You’re pitiful American Lawyer can’t do shit for you here. Here everything is dictated by the rule of the King, and in case you couldn’t tell by the ridiculous crown he wears all the time Matteo is that King. So I don’t think you’re going to get anything that you want.
Mario: Well, except for maybe this-
Mario smashes Bobbinette Carey over the head with the steal briefcase and Carey drops to the ground like a sack of potatoes. The supposedly “injured” Mario picks Bobbinette up off of the ground and tosses her over his shoulder and walks out the front door with her. Matteo & Martino follow after Mario with Martino defending Bobbinette’s actions until Matteo hauls off and smacks him. Mario carries Bobbinette all the way down to the shore where he tosses her down onto a rowboat. Mario smiles as Bobbinette lays in the rowboat and he places his right foot on the back of the boat and with one shove pushes the boat out into the Ocean.
WAR GAMES MATCH
Aceldama, Justin Decent, David Black , Shane Reynolds and ?? vs. Simon Sparrow, Max Kael, Mark O’Neal, ?? and ??
SEX N VIOLENCE MATCH
Carmen Jennings vs. Static