Mayhem: July 13th, 2009 (2009)

Weekly Show | 120 Min
Rating:
6/10
6

Show Transcript

Monday Night Mayhem
July 13th, 2009 – #HOW64
The Best Arena, Chicago IL

 

The Phenomenal Best Opening

The LIVE HOTv broadcast of Monday Night Mayhem opens up outside, on a cool summer evening in downtown Chicago, more specifically, at the entrance of Cook County Memorial Hospital. We cut away to a different camera inside the hospital, where Mayhem General Manager Ryan Faze is lying in an empty room, propped upwards on a bed with his right leg elevated and wrapped heavily in ice. A mix of cheers and boos can be heard from the fans in attendance at the Best Arena, some happy to witness Faze’s misfortune and others disgusted at the sight of the cocky, young protégé of Lee Best. The permanent scowl on Faze’s face gives everyone clear indication that he is not exactly in the best of moods at the moment. His words come in a deep, spiteful tone.

Faze: Christopher America…

The fans in the Best Arena erupt with a booming roar for the former LSD champion, fresh off his victory last week in a Falls Count Anywhere match over the ICON champion Shane Reynolds.

Faze: Paul Paras…

Again, more cheers. This time, for the former ICON and Stable champion and you can tell Faze is fighting back his rage, gritting his teeth.

Faze: Mario Maurako…

The man who defeated former World Champion Crow at War Games earns a similar ovation, which is now growing louder and louder as Faze begins to address the core members of the Argonauts of Awesome.

Faze: If you three weren’t on my shit list before, then you’ve certainly earned a spot damn-well near the top! For a whole week I’ve been in pain, stuck in this hospital… feeling miserable, vulnerable, and alone. And who do I have to thank for it all?

Crowd: The AoA!!!

Faze rolls his eyes that the crowd would actually respond to his sarcasm. To add insult to injury, the “A-o-A!” chant that breaks out only adds to his irritation.

Faze: Shut up you imbeciles! Let me make one thing perfectly clear! Whether I am live in the arena… or stuck here in this hospital bed… I am the General Manager of Monday Night Mayhem! What I say goes and if ANYONE has a problem with that, then now is probably the best opportunity to say it to my face. Arrrrrrrghrrrrrgh!

Ryan removes the ice from his knee and fiddles with the brace that is wrapped tightly around it. Seemingly desperate for comfort and relief, he flails his un-injured limbs around in his bed like a small toddler at nap time and uses his buzzer to call the nurse that is caring for him. It literally takes seconds before a man in his young 30’s rushes into the room.

Man: Something wrong Mr. Faze?

Faze: Is something wrong? Is something wrong?!? Who the FUCK are you to ask me if something is wrong or not? Listen Jeebus, I’ve gotta’ show to run and I’m stuck here… Hey! What the fuck happened to Judy? She promised she’d sneak me more Jell-o after her break was over.

Man: Judy, uh, went home for the night.

Faze: And who are you supposed to be? Her replacement? Wait a minute; Judy’s shift just started a couple of hours ago… who are you trying to fool? I’m the General Manager of Mayhem! Don’t think I’m some scrambled-brain Michael DeNucci wannabe.

Nurse: I’m sorry Mr. Faze. To be honest with you, Judy requested a room change… she, uh, felt you were being too abrasive.

Faze: Too abrasive?!? You’re kidding me, right?

Nurse: Sir, telling Judy that ‘her nipples were turning you on’ certainly constitutes as abrasive.

Faze: So it’s a little chilly in here! So what? C’mon… don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. She’s got them sausage nipp…

Nurse: Sir, may I simply just ask what you buzzed about?

Faze: Ah, yes! As you can tell, I’m running a bit low on my morphine drip and the pain is becoming far too excruciating for me to handle. So chop-chop on my refill… and make it snappy! I’ve got business to attend to.

The male nurse grabs Faze’s chart at the end of his bed and rushes off, likely to consult with the doctor in charge as Faze was the recipient of a different bag of morphine not even an hour ago. Suddenly, Ryan’s scowl of hatred turns into a sadistic smirk; one that would worry even the most seasoned HOW fans.

Faze: As I was saying… this entire week of miserable solitude got me to thinking… and you know what? The fact that the show has begun and I’m stuck here in the hospital doesn’t mean we still can’t have a little fun, can we? This is why I invited a very special friend of mine to take my place for the evening. And don’t worry. He’s certainly a man with the qualifications and experience in my position and is obviously a man you all know and love…

With that, the camera switches to inside the Best Arena, where none other than the “God of HOW” himself, Lee Best, stands impatiently behind the curtain with the HOW World Champion Aceldama towering behind him.

Faze: …ladies and gentlemen, please welcome… the man that has given me his word that neither Christopher America, nor Perfect Paul Paras will win the Battle Royal tonight… LEE BEST!!!

Undead hits the PA system and Lee Best makes his way out to the top of the entrance ramp with a Title Belt-less World Champion Aceldama.

The crowd erupts into its typical loud booing for the owner of HOW and the worlds champion.

Lee still isn’t looking 100% from the huge fall he took at War Games but he is looking better than he has and is even smiling as brings the microphone up to his lips.

Lee Best: Welcome to Monday Night Mayhem and I am your GOD, Lee Best, and I would like to introduce everyone to the World Champion of High Octane Wrestling and my number one choice for Keeper for the Turmoil Roster…Aceldama!!!!

The Champion raises his arms up high in the air as the crowds boos are deafening.

Lee Best: That’s right boo all you want but just remember that Aceldama is part of a show that just scored a 2.6 rating whereas this damn show barely mustered a 2.0. Although I remain confident in Ryan Faze I must admit that I am beginning to question if I have made the right choice but I am going to wait and see till after his first full draft occurs after Capitol Punishment…..which brings me to why exactly I am here tonight.

Lee pauses as the crowd begins a chant..

SLADE”

SLADE”

SLADE”

Aceldama looks annoyed with the chant but Lee continues on as this is not his first time getting booed inside his own arena.

Lee Best: I love how you people are cheering for Turmoil wrestlers here on Monday Night Mayhem. …but anyway…Capitol Punishment…..at Capitol Punishment we have probably the greatest line up of matches we have ever had here in High Octane Wrestling and tonight one of those matches will immediately be given the opportunity to be of the all time greatest matches in the history of my proud company…..Monkeys…..play the video….

The High Octane Vision screen comes to life and a video plays highlighting all the matches on the card…from Bob Jared squaring off against Embosser…to Trent vs. Trip Eisen….to the ICON and LSD Title matches and then to the Hell in a Cell Inferno Match for the World Championship..

The video shows a Hell in a Cell completely on fire as an image of the World Title spins in the middle of the burning cell and then quickly explodes into the names of Slade and Aceldama before going black.

The video over, the focus returns to Lee and the Champion.

Lee Best: You see folks my personal monster Aceldama is heading to Capitol Punishment and will destroy the man that relies on a faith but we will also see a Best Alliance member get revenge for me and themselves when they step inside the ring with one Maximillian Kael…that man…Shane Reynolds!!

Sin with a Grin by Shinedown hits the PA system and the crowd heightens their attention as they await the arrival of the ICON Champion…..but he doesn’t show.

Lee Best: ….SHANE REYNOLDS!!!

Both Aceldama and Lee turn around towards the entrance behind them but there is nothing.

Lee Best: Where the fuck is he???

Suddenly the lights go out inside The Best Arena and a single spotlight is shining down from the rafters to a single spot inside the arena….that spot?

Right smack dab in the middle of the ring where we see none other than a man wearing a mask and a noose around his neck. The man’s body is writhing around, seemingly trying to escape. Slowly the rope starts to raise and the man is lifted up from the middle of the ring and slowly ascends up towards the rafters as cameras pan up and we finally see Shane Reynolds perched at the top of the rafters , squatting down watching as the man is raised feet first up to the rafters.

Suddenly the man breaks his arms free from the rope that was holding them bound and the man struggles and removes the mask from his head and we see his identity…

Darkwing.

The spotlight then suddenly goes out and quickly the lights come back on fully inside the arena and the rope, Darkwing and Shane are nowhere to be seen or found…as if they were just an illusion.

At the top of the entrance ramp Lee and Aceldama are smiling…

Lee Best: Folks that is why Shane…

WHACK

WHACK

WHACK

WHACK

WHACK

Lee and Aceldama go down hard onto the cold steel of the entrance ramp as the crowd is stunned as we see newcomer Jason Midnight and a man that has history with both Lee and Ace…Maximillian Kael… standing over the bodies of Lee Best and Aceldama after delivering several blows that have left their steel chairs in their hands dented so much that they are no longer recognizable as chairs.

The cameras cut away as Midnight and Kael smile at each other as Aceldama and Best are completely out. Kael then points towards the rafters before the cameras cut elsewhere…

 

HOFC!!

We cut to a shot of Bishop Steele walking through the Best Arena parking lot, headed for the entrance. His similarity to a more successful superstar, however, has Benny Newell a little confused.

Benny Newell: It’s 50 Cent! 50 Cent is at Mayhem! Fuck yes!

Joe Hoffman: Folks, that’s not 50 Cent, that’s Bishop Steele, about to enter the Best Arena for the Battle Royale tonight on Mayhem! Welcome everyone to Monday Night Mayhem I am Joe Hoffman and as always I am joined by Benny Newell and Benny what a way to kick off Mayhem with Lee Best and his number one man Aceldama getting taken out by Max Kael and newcomer Jason Midnight!!

Benny Newell: Whatever..did you see Shane Reynolds dragging Darkwing up to the rafters…I hope he was about to fry that fucking duck.

Joe Hoffman: Its obvious that Lee has appointed Shane Reynolds to soften up Darkwing before his match with stablemate Mark O’Neal and Chris Kostoff.

Benny Newell: Shane Reynolds is just as big of a monster as Aceldama and trust me…he will get the job done and will get his main job done at Capitol Punishment when he takes out Maximillian Kael once and for all.

Suddenly their attention is turned back to their monitors as Steele walks toward the door, but stops suddenly. With the camera focused on him, the home viewer can’t see what he’s looking at, but what they can see is Steele’s look of confusion.

Steele: What are you doing here?

The camera slowly pans around to show the man he’s talking to…

Michael DeNucci: This.

With that, DeNucci unloads a vicious high kick to the head of Steele. The kick finds its target, its devastating power causing Bishop Steele’s eyes to roll up into the back of his head, and he drops to the pavement. DeNucci’s killer instinct is in full gear, however, and he pounces on Steele with a diving right hand to the head, a la Dan Henderson at UFC 100.

Joe Hoffman: Bishop Steele isn’t moving! He can’t defend himself! Somebody stop this!

DeNucci positions himself in side control, to the left of Steele’s prone body, firing off a couple more right hands to make sure Bishop Steele stays unconscious, before hooking his right leg and pulling back with all his strength. After a few seconds, a sickening pop can be heard, and the crowd inside the Best Arena groans as Steele’s leg is now bent in…well, let’s just say it’s a position legs don’t normally bend in.

Joe Hoffman: Michael DeNucci just snapped Bishop Steele’s leg!

Benny Newell: Fuck yeah! This is awesome!

Joe Hoffman: DeNucci’s not even under contract to HOW, I don’t think! What’s he even DOING here?

Benny Newell: Who cares?! Keep breaking jobbers’ limbs!

Benny raises his official HOW flask in salute before taking a swig from it. Meanwhile, DeNucci has worked his way around to the other side of Steele, with evil intentions apparent in his eyes…

Joe Hoffman: Is he going to go for the other one, too? Where’s security?!

Benny Newell: Do we even HAVE security In HOW? I’ve been in this job since almost day one, and I think I’ve only seen them once.

If HOW has security, they must be on their coffee break, as DeNucci once again hooks a leg, this time the left, and secures the kneebar. Within seconds, another sickening pop is heard, and the leg bends the wrong way, matching Steele’s other leg. DeNucci lets go of the leg and gets to his feet, a satisfied smirk on his face.

Benny Newell: Michael DeNucci’s apparently big on symmetry. Who knew?

Joe Hoffman: You’re a disgusting, depraved individual with no concern for human well-being, you know that?

Benny Newell: Duh.

DeNucci is handed an energy drink by an off-screen figure and pounds it down, before reaching into his nearby gym bag and producing yet another familiar T-shirt…

Joe Hoffman: That’s an HOFC T-shirt! We saw this on Turmoil with Big Jon!

Benny Newell: Yeah, except Bob Jared’s chest hair can’t save Bishop Steele. His career is over!

DeNucci lays the HOFC T-shirt over the face of the still-unconscious Bishop Steele, before getting into a nearby Mercedes and driving off.

Joe Hoffman: Well, ladies and gentlemen, I don’t know what Michael DeNucci is doing here, what this HOFC thing is, but I can tell you right now, there’s no way Bishop Steele is going to be in a High Octane Ring anytime soon.

Benny Newell: Try anytime ever, Hoffman! Two busted legs? You don’t come back from that shit.

Joe Hoffman: Well, stay tuned, fans, as the Battle Royale is coming up! You’re watching HOW Mayhem on High Octane Television!

 

Can Mayhem rebound from last weeks show?

 

Perfect Interview and Challenge

Back live and we cut to the backstage area where interviewer Brian Bare desperately seeks a scoop on what could be his last night ever on Mayhem before the new staff arrives. He nervously rambles down the hallway before noticing a door to his right. His expression turns a good deal more positive as he knocks on the door with a placard reading “PERFECT PAUL PARAS”. After a moment, the door opens.

Brian Bare: Ladies and gentlemen, this is Brian Bare here with an exclusive interview with Perfect Paul Par… par… pair of…

Bare’s face drops as he stammers and stares befuddled at the figure in front of him—a 6’ tall, tanned blonde with legs that go on forever, wearing nothing but a Miss America smile, toweling herself off after a shower. Due to poor positioning on Brian’s part, his body blocks the camera’s view of most of the woman’s body, much to the chagrin of the HOW viewers.

Woman: Can I help you?

Brian Bare: I’m…you’re… Bare… No, I mean, I’m Bare…Brian Bare… but you’re bare too… but, oh, I’m sorry…I…

The woman looks confusedly at the interviewer before Brian is saved a moment later by an athletic-taped hand grabbing him by the shoulder and spinning him 180 degrees, putting him face-to-face with the mirrored shades and egotistical smirk of the Perfect One, Paul Paras. The fans in the arena erupt into a mostly positive reaction as Bare snaps out of his stupor.

Paras: Bare, is it? Care to explain why you’re molesting the attention of the Perfect One’s guests for the evening?

Brian Bare: Triple P! There you are! No…I wouldn’t…molest…I’m sorry…

Paras: Relax, flunkie! Life is too short to apologize for your imperfection compared to myself.

Brian Bare: Right. Triple P, last week here on Mayhem, you made your intentions known regarding General Manager Ryan Faze, refusing to follow his plans, brutally caning his bad knee, and putting him in the hospital! I think a lot of HOW fans want to thank you, but a lot more are wondering what caused this sudden change of heart?

Paul appears amused by the line of questioning, taking a moment to think about it while laughing under his breath. He nostalgically gazes into the distance while speaking.

Paras: Brian, last week was scheduled to be a monumental precedent—the reunion of the greatest group High Octane Wrestling has ever seen—the Argonauts of Awesome. All the pieces were in place—I was traded to Mayhem, Chris America was there, Triple M came out of retirement…hell, there was even a cardboard cutout of Sektor which somehow still had 50% more charisma than Darkwing. Yes, everything was in place…except for one small problem.

Brian Bare: Silver Cyanide wasn’t there?

Triple P’s amused expression remains while he glares at Bare, who attempts to keep his cool with a naked woman still standing behind him.

Paras: Yes, that’s it exactly… No, peon, the problem was simple—did one of the Argos set up this reunion? No. Did the owner of the company set it up? No. Who did, Bare? Ryan Faze…our gallant General Manager, who decided to try to make a buck off of the AoA name. How ironic, the Perfect One thought to himself…let us not forget that Ryan Faze is the only person to ever be handed a spot in the AoA and have it immediately taken away due to his own lassitude! He even offered the Perfect One a deal wherein if I took out the National Treasure, Christopher America, I would in turn receive his LSD Title shot against David Black. Now sure, America and I have done battle before and we will again here tonight in the battle royal, but if the Minnesota Messiah wanted an LSD Title shot, I would earn it with my own greatness, not leech it off an ignoramus like Ryan Faze.

The fans in the arena loudly cheer this sentiment, though Paras’ sights remain on the camera in front of him.

Brian Bare: Certainly an…unusual sound for you to hear, eh Triple P?

Paul turns back to Bare and smirks, then takes the microphone from his hand, turning Bare back around to face the blonde bombshell in the locker room door. Paras takes off his sunglasses and moves his Singapore cane up to his shoulder before addressing the camera in his slow, deliberate tone.

Paras: So the fans of Mayhem want to thank the Perfect One for taking out Faze last week? Fine…you’re all welcome…but don’t get too comfortable…as the best is yet to come. For my next trick…an open challenge to the Mayhem roster. To any of these young guns who want to go head-to-head with the greatest athlete the world of professional wrestling has ever seen…I’ll see you at Capitol Punishment. You might learn a thing or two…if your mind survives to remember.

The fans cheer some more at Paul’s reaction and grow even louder with his Pay-Per-View announcement. Paras retains his emotionless but powerful gaze.

Paras: Faze, when you traded for me, a lot of people thought that the big bad GM had found his first hitman…his first heavy, if you will. Rest assured, “Faze of HOW,” things will get quite heavy with the Perfect One here…and not in your favor. I am the Minnesota Messiah. I follow no one and lead wherever I go. My influence is infinite… and if you cross my perfect path again, Faze, your psyche will have only you to blame. Enjoy the show.

Paul’s egomaniacal smile slithers proudly across his face, the fans firmly behind his sentiments. He turns to check on Brian Bare, whose head is hanging dejectedly in front of the open door.

Paras: What happened to you?

Brian Bare: She put her clothes on.

Paras: Ah… what a pity… I’ll have to go fix that.

Triple P smirks and coolly slides into the locker room, slamming the door behind him. A wide-eyed Bare scurries down the hall as we cut to another part of the backstage area.

 

Smoked Filled Hate

We cut to the inside of Ryan Faze’s office where Lee Best and Aceldama are now.

MOTHERFUCKERS!!!”

Lee cringes as Aceldama picks up a chair and throws it hard against the wall, the force of the throw causing the chair to literally get stuck in the drywall.

I WANT KAEL AND I WANT MIDNIGHT….NOW!!!”

Aceldama picks up a lamp and tosses it hard across the room and it shatters upon impact against the wall.

Lee is pissed off as well and but he collapses in the chair behind Faze’s desk and picks up the ice back he got from one of the medical personal and puts it on the back of his head where there are several large lumps forming already after the nasty chair shots from Midnight and Kael.

Lee Best: Look Ace…Kael has been itching to get at you and me since before War Games and even more so since…we should have seen this coming. I know I told Shane to divide his attention between Max Fail and Fuckwing but I think we need to totally focus on the mission at hand..

Aceldama, breathing heavily with anger, turns towards his leader..

Aceldama: Which is?

Lee Best: Getting some fucking weed from that Trent fucker….MY HEAD FUCKING HURTS!

Suddenly the door flies open and we see the 7’1” Trent peek his head in.

Trent: Someone say weed?

Smiling, Lee motions for Trent to come in while Aceldama rolls his eyes and turns his anger towards Lee.

Aceldama: You brought me here to Mayhem to watch you smoke fucking weed? I am outta here…

Aceldama starts to exit and Trent enters at the same time and the camera has to pan out as we see the two big men stare each other down.

With a smirk, Aceldama blasts thru Trent and out of the office and slams the door shut behind him.

Lee Best: Don’t mind him…getting cheap shotted by Max Fail and a fucking noob will have you on edge too…..so what you got?

Smiling, Trent walks over towards the desk and hands Lee an already packed bowel.

Grimacing in pain, Lee puts the ice pack down and grabs the bowel in one hand and pulls out his official HOW ZIPPO LIGHTER with his other and takes a hit from the herb.

Immediately Lee begins to choke and he stands up and Trent motions for Lee to raise his arms above his head and while still coughing Lee does so and Trent immediately kicks Lee right in the gut…picks him up…and POWERBOMBS HIM THRU FAZE’S DESK!!!

The desk splinters everywhere as the force of the blow knocks Lee out and the desk out of commission.

Smiling even wider now, Trent leans down and says something into the ear of Lee Best…

Chaos motherfucker….Don’t forget where I come from…what goes around comes around”

With that Trent stands up and walks out of the room and the cameras then return and zoom into the face of Lee and we see smoke exiting the nose of Lee as we head to commercial as the Battle Royal is up next!!

 


Winner of tonights Battle Royal gets date with this Girl!!!!

 

Trip Eisen vs. Trent vs. Max Kael vs. David Black vs. Christopher America vs. Marcus Reinhardt vs. Silver Phoenix vs. Jason Wild vs. Perfect Paul Paras vs. Bishop Steele
Battle Royal

Back live and the camera focuses on Joe Hoffman and Benny Newell seated at the announcers table at ring side. Joe Hoffman smiles at the camera while Benny seems more fixated with his flask.

Joe Hoffman: We are set for the Battle Royale for the Mayhem Broadcast where in the entire Mayhem Roster, minus Shane Reynolds, will participate. Benny, let’s give a quick run down of the rules for this unique match up.

Benny Newell: You start..

Joe Hoffman: Good synergy Benny. In a Battle Royale all participates begin the match in the ring. The only way to win is too throw your opponents over the top rope where in both feet touch the ground.

Benny Newell: What about between the ropes?

Joe Hoffman: No dice.

Benny Newell: What about if one foot touches.

Joe Hoffman: You’re still in it.

Benny Newell: What if you are thrown out of the ring but land on our announcers table?

Joe Hoffman: That’s not really something that has happened before but I would imagine so long as you feet, back or shoulder’s refrain from touching the ground, you would still be in it. How you get back into the ring I have no idea.

Benny Newell: You handstand your way back into the ring, idiot.

Joe Hoffman: How do you get back up into the ring then?

Benny Newell: You do a hand stand jump into a flip. Just make sure to tuck and roll.

Joe Hoffman:..how much of that Jack Daniel’s have you had already?

Benny Newell: Enough to make me think that’s a fuckin’ good idea what I just said..

Joe Hoffman: Right.. Anyway, the last man standing in the ring is the winner but more over, the winner has been given the right to choose which show he is on for the next pay per view period whether it be on Mayhem with Ryan Faze or on Turmoil with Lee Best.

The camera pans back too look down over the ring as a graphic of all the participants of the Battle Royal appear. Bishop Steel has a large X through his head as per the events earlier in the evening leaving David Black, Christopher America, Trent, Trip Eisen, Marcus Reinhardt, Max Kael, Jason Wild, Silver Phoenix and Triple P.

One by one the participates of the Battle Royal make their way down to the ring with Trent, America and Triple P getting the stronger crowd pops while David Black, Max Kael and Trip Eisen get the strongest heat. Max Kael is noted for having a rather large security force with him to ensure Shane Reynolds does not interfere with his match. Entrances are kept short with only a few moments per entrance as the crowd buzzes with anticipation.

All the participants of the Battle Royal stand around the ring giving each other a wide birth awaiting the bell. All the current staff refs stand around the edges of the ring, Matt Boettcher in one corner to watch both sides and Hortega on the far corner to watch both of his sides.

The fans are ready as the time keeper strikes the bell starting the match off!

Joe Hoffman: The match is underway and already we are seeing an interesting dynamic here with how this match is going to go down. What alliances are going to be made and broken during the course of this match.

Benny Newell: What the fuck are you talking about Hoffman?

Back in the ring Trent, who’s primary goal was Trip Eisen, is waylaid by both Christopher America and Triple P who put the boots to the larger man in hopes of isolating and eliminating him. Max Kael and Silver Phoenix find each other in the middle of the ring and begin to throw soup bones at each other while Marcus Reinhardt appears to be stalking David Black who has yet to attack anyone.

Jason Wild, for his part, finds himself in the unfortunate end of a series of stiff elbow strikes from the hard hitting Trip Eisen, technical strong man.

CRACK!

Eisen snaps off a sharp knife edge chop which knocks Jason Wild into the corner.

CRACK!

Eisen snaps off another knife edge chop which draws the attention of David Black who quietly has been biding his time in the match.

Joe Hoffman: Eisen has Jason Wild cornered however David Black looks ready to unload on anyone who gets too close, taking the more precautions angle.

Benny Newell: What do you expect from the fuckin’ LSD Champion? He’s hard as nails and twice as sharp! He’s not going to throw away his superior advantage for a quick elimination!

Black moves behind Eisen and begins to hammer on his back with solid forearms giving Wild a chance to recover. Pulling Eisen out of the corner, Black sends him into the ropes before hitting a stiff lariat which turns Eisen inside out.

Joe Hoffman: Unusually strong close line from the usually more speed based offensive of David Black on Eisen. With this many men in the ring and given the nature of the match it is generally best to keep on the ground. David Black showing his versatility in there at the moment by switching things up.

Benny Newell: Well of course he is, numb nut, he is THE LSD Champion! You don’t become the single greatest LSD Champion of all time by playin’ paddy cake!

Joe Hoffman: Thank you for that thrilling cross examination Benny. Better keep drinking, you’re starting to say confusing things less frequently.

Benny Newell: Fuck you Joe.. I’m drinking.. but not because you told me to.

Joe Hoffman: Of course not, Benny. David Black pressing his advantage as best he can now, he has Eisen up and near the ropes!

Black attempts to leverage Eisen over the top rope however Eisen wraps his arms around the ring ropes and refuses to let get making it difficult to swing him over. Elsewhere Max Kael as won the slug fest with Silver Phoenix having worked him against the near by rope edge with a series of stiff elbows to the temple region of Phoenix which as left him staggered.

SMACK!

Max slaps Phoenix with a stiff hand which knocks the man down too a knee. Max poses however it simply gives Phoenix enough time to recover and send a stiff kick into Max’s gut causing him to lean forward. Taking advantage the swift Silver Phoenix jumps up and hits a stiff swinging neck breaker bouncing Max’s head off the mat.

Joe Hoffman: Text book neck breaker there by Phoenix showing why he one of the rising young talents here in High Octane Wrestling. Max Kael, the veteran that he is, should have known better then to pose..

Benny Newell: He’s fucking retarded, are you kidding? Did you see what he did to Lee earlier!? And Aceldama!? The fucking nut case has a fucking death wish! Not to mention there is no way to be sure that the Max Kael in charge right now knows anything ABOUT wrestling, what with all the personalities he has. Fuck him and his fucking crazy brain.

Joe Hoffman: No offense to any truly mentally troubled individuals of course.

Benny Newell: You know what Joe? Fuck them too, they are crazy and that’s not my problem, that’s there’s.

The double Team on Trent continues as America and Triple P as they try to keep one of the power houses of the match from using his strength to his advantage. America whips Trent out of the corner into Triple P who nails his RPW Spinebuster as the whole ring thunders.

Jumping back up too his feet Triple P poses only to run headlong into an all American tackle spear which takes Triple P off his feet and too the ground clutching his ribs. America pops back up too his feet and mouths “Sorry” before he starts to put the boots to both men now that he has managed to assist and take down the two big powerhouses of the match.

Joe Hoffman: The team up of Triple P and America, former AoA members, short lived as you can see with America taking a cut out of Triple P there.

David Black finds himself in trouble as Jason Wild, Marcus Reinhardt and Trip Eisen have seemingly turned the tide on the LSD Champion with a double team of their own. Marcus Reinhardt, having caught David off guard while the camera was focused on America, worked the LSD champion down with a series of strong clubs across the back.

Thinking Black is take care of, Jason Wild moves in on Silver Phoenix hitting a stiff kick to the back of Phoenix’s head, knocking him to the ground before Wild turns his attention too the veteran, Max Kael, hammering on him with stiff left hands.

Both men pick up Black and attempt to dump him over the top rope as he holds on, flailing as best he can to keep his would be eliminators at bay. Trip seems to be yelling at Marcus with minimal effect as both men attempt to eliminate Black with little result.

Meanwhile America has realized he might have bitten off more then he can chew as Triple P and Trent slowly make their way up too their feed despite considerable harassment from America who has been attempting to knock both men back down by kneeing, elbowing and punching both men as they slowly started to get up.

America misjudges a strike and is countered by Trent who answers with a stiff headbutt that sends America sprawling back. Trent, his eyes turned toward Triple P, reaches down and pulls him up attempting to heave him over the side as Triple P attempts too use his won power to keep from being thrown out. With his hands on the ropes Triple P battles with Trent over who will be going over the top rope.

Joe Hoffman: It look like David Black and Triple P might be eliminated here! Both are in trouble!

Benny Newell: Well Triple P is clearly a steroid abuser but damn it, David Black is the greatest LSD Champion of all time! There is no way he could be eliminated first! No way!

Suddenly David Black fires a stiff kick to the head of Triple Eisen causing him to fall back into the ring. Without Eisen helping him, Marcus is unable to keep Black in position and is forced to drop him. As Marcus goes for a quick clothesline to keep his advantage up he is surprised when Black ducks under it with alarming speed.

As Marcus turns around..

BLACKOUT!

Joe Hoffman: Out of no where Black hits his Blackout maneuver!

Benny Newell: FUCK YEAH! I’ll Drink to that!

Benny takes a shot as Marcus rebounds off the knees too the face landing with his back in the ropes. Taking advantage Black grabs Marcus’s feet and dumps him over the top rope!

ELIMINATION: MARCUS REINHARDT AT 6 MINUTES 53 SECONDS!

Suddenly, on the other side of the ring Jason Wild is suddenly seen being heaved out of the ring by, oddly enough, Max Kael and Christopher America who recovered from the head butt by Trent!

ELIMINATION: JASON WILD AT 6 MINUTES AND 54 SECONDS!

Joe Hoffman: Don’t blink; you might miss an elimination folks! Max Kael and Christopher America swinging a quick elimination on Jason Wild! Two men down that leaves Triple P and Trent who are battling it out, Eisen, Black, Silver Phoenix, Max Kael and Christopher America!

Benny Newell: My Money is still on David Black! America and Kael can go sit on a spike and take turns twirling each other around like school girls!

Trent has won the advantage over Triple P for the moment and pulls him up for a Vertical Suplex, dropping him hard in the center of the ring. Max Kael and America can move on to attacking Silver Phoenix who finds himself severely out numbered at the moment.

David Black returns his attention to Eisen as he drags him back up too his feet and hits a standing Hurricanrana, flipping Eisen over with aggression.

Joe Hoffman: Black with a strong move there on Eisen but the key isn’t too knock your opponent out, its to get him out of the ring and David Black might have trouble getting some of the larger men out of the ring.

Benny Newell: David Black has no trouble handling bigger men!

Joe Hoffman: You know that from experience?

Benny Newell: Yes! I.. I mean no! Fuck you Hoffman!

Benny turns and takes a shot from his official HOW Flask as the action cuts back to the ring where Trent picks Triple P back up and hoists him up onto his shoulders in an attempt to dump him on the outside. Triple P catches the ropes as Trent fights to toss him out.

Meanwhile Black drags Eisen back up too his feet and sends him into the ropes where he attempts to take down Trip with a flying close line, crashing and burning as Eisen ducks under. Rolling over and turning, Black has a moment to register Eisen heading back at him before..

CRACK!

SHINING EISEN!

Black tumbles over as Eisen puts his knee into the side of his head.

Joe Hoffman: The Shinning Eisen out of no where and there, folks, is a moment shift!

Benny Newell: Weeww and there folks is a moment shift! God, Joe, you’re such a suck up! Black is not out of this yet, as you said.. uh.. something about lifting men..

Joe Hoffman: You having experience with being handled by David Black?

Benny Newell: Fuck off!

Joe Hoffman:..you’re the one with anal beads, I’m just saying.

Benny Newell: FUCKING DRINK!

Benny takes another swing as we cut to Max Kael and America on Silver Phoenix. Max is currently holding Phoenix from behind while America takes careful aim with each All American punch he lands, wearing Phoenix down.

America takes a step back and signals Super American Kick. Jumping forward America sends his foot forward however Phoenix is able to wriggle free and Max Kael takes the kick on the jaw sending him too the mat hard. Looking down at Max Kael and Phoenix, who is dragging himself to the ropes, America is seen mouthing “Sorry” before he goes to drag Phoenix back up too his feet.

Pulling Phoenix up America cinches in the American Nightmare as the crowd comes alive with a mix of Boos and Cheers though mostly cheers as the plucky American Hero seems to be growing on people like some strange, entertaining fungus.

Benny Newell: Look at that, Joey.. now that.. That is a stupid flman.

Joe Hoffman: You’re almost there Benny and I am almost into a solo broadcast thank god.

Benny Newell: Look ‘ere Joe.. without me the whole damn show falls into PG13 territory and we don’t wanna look like.. some OTHER federations.. do we?

Joe Hoffman: You wanna say something to kick things up?

Benny Newell: FUCK BITCH CUT HAIR SUCK MY DICK AMERICA!

Releasing the hold, America works the crowd as our attention is taken back to Trent and Triple P. Fighting off Trent’s shoulders with a series of elbows, Triple P stumbled back as Trent shook his head to break out the cobwebs. As he turns he comes face to face with Christopher America who, in the throws of the crowds cheers, didn’t realize his own peril.

Smiling sheepishly America can be seen mouthing “sorry”..

TOKE DRIVER!

Powering America up, Trent destroys the American One with his devastating modified DVD move. Getting back up too his feet Trent is spun around by Triple P..

PARASYTE!

Driving his opponent down with the Parasyte, Triple P pops back up to his feet glowing with his own self importance. As he turns, around, however..

EISENPLEX ’09!

Trip drops the Perfect One square on the top of his head as the crowd begins to roar and stop their feet. However…

THE SINGULARITY!

Max Kael snuck into position while Eisen was pulling himself up, snapping his head back into the mat with leathal force. Unfortunately..

ALL OR NOTHING!

Using the distractions of the rapid fire finishing maneuvers to hide his own movements, Phoenix had snuck to the top turn buckle and executed his patented cork screw attack on Max! But then..

DARKNESS FALLS!

Having recovered from Eisen’s Shining, Black snuck in behind Phoenix and levels him with his modified elevated stunner sending Phoenix back down to the mat. Hoping up too his feet to survey the last few moments carnage, Black is met, regardless of his alignment, with a massive wave of cheers afforded all the men for their finisher splurge.

Benny Newell: It’s like we just watched the end of Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and Debbie Does Dallas packed into one magical hand job!

Joe Hoffman: Uh.. Indeed Benny.. It looks like Black stands at the top of the heap for the moment, folks, as everyone appears.. wait!

From behind Black, a newly risen Christopher America appears, stumbling forward as he still was feeling the effects of the Toke Driver…

FOR AMER-

NO! America jumps back when he realizes he almost hits David Black with the For America more then aware he is not allowed to touch him before the PPV. Black himself is also unable to touch America and so both men stare at each other not completely sure what to do.

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

The crowd chants for the two men to battle it out however, for now, tempers are kept in check. America slowly kneels down next to Phoenix and picks him up by the hair.

David Black glares at America who jaw jacks with the LSD Champion before hitting the FOR AMERICA! On Phoenix before throwing him over the top rope!

ELIMINATION: SILVER PHOENIX IN 12 MINUTES 43 SECONDS!

Joe Hoffman: Christopher America scoring his second elimination this match by disposing of Silver Phoenix who, despite being eliminated just now, managed almost 13 minutes in the ring with some of the toughest competition in HOW!

Benny Newell: Fucking America stealing Black’s kill!

Benny downs another shot of Jack as suddenly the big screen flashes to life..

Joe Hoffman: What’s going on?

Joe exclaims curiously as his earpiece goes wild with something going on backstage as the action continues at a frenetic pace inside of the ring. Immediately the HOV lights up, forcing eyes to flit between in and the in-ring excitement. Upon it, his face lashed by an unusually heavy shower of rainfall, is Shane Reynolds. The face-paint has been reduced to black and white smears and streaks. His eyes blaze from beneath it and the strands of drenched hair which have fallen over his face. The camera upon him pans outwards to reveal another, unknown man on the scene. Shane’s hand grips his shoulder, holding him fearfully down on his knees. Around the unknown man’s neck, wrenched tightly is a noose.

Shane Reynolds: I’m truly to interrupt such a thrilling contest but I need to declare a warning. Many of you won’t recognize this man. But perhaps Maximillian Kael will, and most definitely those he has around the ring certainly will.

That they certainly do, all of their eyes diverted worriedly to the HOV now, ignoring the match which continues behind them, which they had previously been watching as avidly as everybody else.

Shane Reynolds: And it is to you that I ask this simple question: Is Maximillian Kael really worth it? Is Maximillian Kael really worth defending in the wake of having to witness such violence towards your own group, in the knowledge that such fate will befall you? If you have any common sense, the answer will surely be no.

The camera pans back further to reveal they aren’t just outside but on the rooftop.

Shane Reynolds: I vowed that anybody who does or ever has had anything to do with Max shall suffer a fate not dissimilar to that which he shall face. And aligning yourselves beneath his command as you have over the last few weeks, you have opened yourself to my wrath. But unlike others, I am offering a choice; an ultimatum if you will: Leave Max’s side…forsake his bidding….or prepare to witness and suffer further consequences.

With that, Shane kicks the man off the edge of the rooftop he had been holding him. Shane stands looking over the edge with a smirk. The camera remains in place, not wanting to subject the crowd to want is over there, but the rope which rests at Shane’s feet has clearly shown to have grown taut as the HOV fades back out.

Joe Hoffman: Ladies and Gentleman, I can only apologize for what we have just witnessed. This war between Max Kael and Shane Reynolds claiming yet another victim and showing how this has gone too far…..that wasnt….Darkwing was it??

Benny Newell: God I hope so…but no I dont think so….It won’t have gone far enough until Shane finishes all his targets off for good!

Back in the ring all the men are still laid out save for Black and America who have kept their eyes on each other during the sudden interruption. Max’s security team, however, begin to file out leaving Max Kael by himself. With it over and the attention back on them Black looks to one up Christopher America by grabbing Trent, hoisting him too his feet. Running toward the ropes with Trent, Black attempts toss him over.

Unfortunately for Black, Trent had some what recovered from his earlier Parasyte and catches himself on the ropes much to Black’s surprise. Hitting an elbow on the bridge of Black’s nose, Trent manages to knock his would be eliminator back before hitting a short close line on David taking him to the mat hard.

Meanwhile America picks through the carnage for his next victim. Triple P seems to be alive, pulling himself toward the ropes, along with Eisen however Max Kael seems otherwise incapacitated. Picking his target, America latches a hold of Max and moves him into the corner where he attempts to pick him up and shove him over the top rope. Though not much life is in Max at the moment, he does his best to keep from going out.

Trent, having dispatched Black for the moment, turns his attention Eisen who is slowly stumbling back up too his feet. Moving forward Trent picks Eisen up and hits a big spine buster on his hated foe, driving the hair out of the already winded Eisen. Turning toward America and Max he charged forward, grabbing America by the hair and spinning him around..

Belly to Belly Slam! Riding high on his momentum Trent jumps back up too his feet and catches Max by the throat!

LOW BLOW!

Out of desperation Max sent a kick up into the royal jewels of Trent causing him to release Max and fall too the side clutching at his precious beans.

Joe Hoffman: A blatant low blow there by Max but unfortunately in accordance to the current standing rules Max can not be disqualified.. looks like Hortega and Boettcher are going to let them run with it..

Benny Newell: HAW! GOOD! I love a good blow job!

Joe Hoffman: Low blow!

Benny Newell: Well yeah, that’s kind of where the special tools are…

Joe Hoffman: Drink, Benny. Drink more. Just like that a man’s momentum can be taken away from him by something as simple as a low blow but now everyone is laid out in the ring!

The crowd roars applause, Benny drinks and all the men in the ring appear beaten, bruised and otherwise exhausted by the competition thus far. Just wrestling is hard enough but avoiding getting thrown out while worry about several other opponents is as much a mental wear down as it is a physical one.

Black is seen slipping out under the rope, staggering slightly before he drops too his knees and starts rummaging under the ring.

Joe Hoffman: For those of you tuning in you’re in the midst of the Mayhem Battle Royal where the only way to be eliminated is to be thrown over the top rope and to land on both your feet, your back or have both shoulders touch the ground. For those wondering, because David Black slid under the ropes he is not eliminated from the competition but one can only wonder what kind of weapons he must be looking for.

Benny Newell: Good ones! One’s that will make people fuckin bleed! He is THE LSD Champion after all..

Joe Hoffman: So you have said before, Benny..Drink.

As if by reflex Benny tips back another shot of his whiskey as David Black reappears with a florescent light tube, a chair and what appears to a Singapore Cane. The crowd immediately pops for the weapons. Trip Eisen starts to make his way up too his feet along with Trent while Max hides in the corner having recently seen what David Black arrived on the scene with.

Unaware that Black is armed with a light tube, Trent turns his attention back on Eisen who is distracted by Black. Black aims for Eisen’s head and moves forward swigging the light tube..

CRASH!!!

Glass and white power explode in the ring however it is not Eisen’s head that connects with the tube but rather Trent who was caught in the blast when Eisen ducked. As the debris and dust settle Trent can be seen rolling on the ground screaming and holding his face while Eisen has a look of mixed relief and enjoyment that Trent is in such pain. Black looks pleased either way.

Joe Hoffman: DEAR GOD!! Trent just had glass shattered in his face! Good lord, there is no telling what kind of damage that might have done too his nose, his eyes or his mouth! Good lord!

Benny Newell: THE LSD CHAMPION!

Joe Hoffman: That.. That was horrible! I am not sure Trent can continue!

David seems unbothered by the horror he just inflicted on another opponent and picks up the chair he dragged into the ring, folding it up and taking a good measure of it as he looked at Eisen, then America who was recovering from Trent’s earlier spine buster and Max, who was quietly hiding in the corner. Lifting the chair over his head he moved toward Eisen, swinging hard in an attempt to plaster him..

However as he swung the chair down he was taken off his feet by the suddenly rejuvenated Triple P who shot up with a thick shouldered spear!

Joe Hoffman: Intentionally or Otherwise, Triple P just saved Eisen a real headache!

Benny Newell: FLUKE! TRIPLE P COULDN’T DEFEAT DAVID BLACK ON HIS BEST DAY!

Triple P gets back up too his feet and grabs the Singapore Cane that David Black brought into the ring, the familiar device of pain needing little familiarization as he begins to crack Black about the chest and shoulders with it as the crowd begins to chant Triple P’s name!

Suddenly Max, who got his spine back, Eisen, the one saved by Triple P and America, a former stable mate, attack Triple P from all angles as he is currently perceived as the greatest threat, attacking and striking Triple P with their fists and feet as he is forced to drop his cane for now. Max and Eisen do a great deal of the heavy work after the cane is forced from his hand while America turns to pick at the bones of Trent who has started to bleed heavily from the face.

Joe Hoffman: Triple P had something going there however it seems that the old saying is true.. in a Battle Royale you have no friends and you make no lasting allies!

Benny Newell: Its cause people don’t fuckin like him is why!

Joe Hoffman: Plenty of people like Triple P.. an entire state as a matter of fact.

The sound of Benny farting can be heard over the action followed by Joe Hoffman coughing loudly.

Benny Newell: Yeah.. Whiskey Farts.. that’s what I think of Triple P fans.

With Max down and Triple P in the ropes, Eisen bounces off the ropes with designs on sending Triple P to the outside however a miscalculation as to the weariness of Triple P results in Eisen being sent over the top rope, sailing through the air…

ELIMINATION: TRIP EISEN IN 21 MINUTES AND 14 SECONDS!

Trip Eisen lands in a heap on the floor as Triple P poses in the ring. Furious but unable to do anything about it, Eisen is sent too the back while Triple P turns his attention to the downed Max Kael, kneeing him in the head.

Joe Hoffman: Clearly, Trip Eisen is unhappy about losing the chance to choose his own brand but at 21 minutes and 14 seconds I can say for sure that he didn’t put up an excellent showing.

Benny Newell: An unhappy story for a fuckin’ fairytale foreigner.. the LSD Champion is still in this!

Joe Hoffman: Folks, all we have remaining now is David Black, Triple P, Maximillian Kael, Christopher America and Trent!

Back in the ring Triple P sets Max up in the corner and begins issuing a few thunderous chops which the former Co-Owner is ill prepared for. America continues to work over the potentially seriously wounded Trent while David Black is seen slowly crawling over to the chair he brought into the ring.

Triple P drags Max into the center of the ring before he starts to hammer away on Max’s face and jaw with his knees, each one rattling Max and causing him to slowly go limp in the Perfect One’s hands. Meanwhile America drags Trent up before palm thrusting the SSE World Champion right on the bridge of the nose causing him to scream out once again before falling back, blood oozing out everywhere.

CRACK!

David Black lights Triple P up with a stiff chair shot too his back, rattling his teeth and dropping him on the mat. David Black lifts the chair again..

CRACK!

Max Kael takes a shot across the side of his head putting him down on the ground. David Black poses with the chair as the crowd boos him loudly. On the other side of the ring America watches David Black with a look of shame before hoisting Trent back up too his feet. He looks at the crowd then at David Black before sending the bloodied SSE Champion forward.

CRACK!

Trent collides with Black from behind causing Black to fall face first onto the chair effectively granting America a chair shot without ever touching Black!

Joe Hoffman: Great tactics there by America showing his good old America Ingenuity!

Benny Newell: That wasn’t ingenuity! That was one guy shoving another guy into another one resulting in one of them getting nailed.. if that’s American Ingenuity then it happens at Gay Clubs across America every 5 minutes!

Joe Hoffman: How would you know?

Benny Newell: Where do you think I go after the sh-HEY! I’m not THAT Drunk, fuck off!

Joe Hoffman: Drink.

Benny tosses back another shot as America swaggers over to Trent, picking him up once again. Grabbing him by the head America runs him toward the ropes and tosses him up and over!

ELIMINATI-

TRENT SKINS THE CAT! Never in HOW have we seen a big man like Trent do that!! America has his back turned and is completely unaware that his ploy didn’t work. Though half blinded with a blood face and god only knows how many glass shards, Trent holds on and manages too flip himself back up into the ring.

America trash talks down at Black as the bloodied tower of muscle that is Trent slowly shadows America who seems to realize only too late that Trent has not yet been eliminated.

Benny Newell: CHRISSY MAKIE BOO-BOO!

Joe Hoffman: What the devil did you just say!?

America turns around slowly and stares at the chest of the massive Trent before he slowly lets his gaze move up to the crimson mask that looks down at him. America can be seen mouthing “Sorry?” before Trent begins to unleash all hell.

Fists slam down across America’s head, battering down on him followed by powerful knee lifts which beat down Christopher before he is hoisted up…

TOKE DRIVER!

Trent lets out a monstrous bellow as he jumps back up too his feet, arms reaching out too his sides before he picks up America like a limp doll, throwing him over the top rope!

ELIMINATION: CHRIST-

No, in fact, neither Christ nor Christopher America are expelled too the outside as America, through some uncanny physical ability, manages to keep his body stiff enough to balance his feet on the ropes while his arms buffer his fall leaving him in a vertical position, neither fleet, shoulders nor back touching the floor yet!

Joe Hoffman: UNBELIEVABLE!

Benny Newell: THAT FUCKER STOLE THAT IDEA FROM ME!

Joe Hoffman: Christopher America is still in this! He is still in th-

Unfortunately like a U.N. Resolution, America’s stalwart determination is sucked out of him when Trent, who was smart enough to keep his eye on America, slips between the middle ropes and kicks America in his exposed ribs causing him to collapse to the ground.

ELIMINATION: CHRISTOPHER AMERICA IN 27 MINUTES AND 44 SECONDS

Benny Newell: GOOD BYE AMERICA! THE LSD CHAMPION IS STILL IN THIS! RYAN FAZE SPEAKS THE TRUTH! NO AOA MEMBER IS WINNING TONIGHT!

Joe Hoffman: Yes, Benny, America is gone but there is still Triple P. In fact Triple P, Trent, Max Kael and David Black are left as we approach the 30 minute mark in this Battle Royale!

Back in the ring David Black and Max Kael have both managed to get themselves back up too their feet and decide to put their differences aside for a moment to deal with the two power houses, Trent and Triple P. In this case Triple P represents the greatest threat and so the two of them descend upon the Perfect One, picking him up in an attempt to dump him into the outside of the ring.

Trent, who slowly makes his way back into the ring while wiping some of the blood away from his face. Moving forward he drags Max Kael off Triple P and hammers him square in the temple with a stiff punch. Trent then drags off David Black and dispatches him with a heavy handed punch which sends him away. Finally, to make everything even, he nails Triple P in the head with a stiff punch as Triple P slumps into the ring ropes.

Left standing, Trent’s bloody visage is cheered by the fans as he looks around at the remaining opponents. Lifting his hand into the air he slowly moved toward David Black, grabbing him by the hair as the toll of the match is apparent on all the men.

Joe Hoffman: Most matches have a limit of 20 minutes; most matches don’t got that long. These men have been giving it their all this match and taken tremendous hits but kept going.. their limbs must feel like lead, their heads must feel like they are underwater. Folks we have passed the 3o minute mark and this match is still going.

Benny Newell: Big fuckin deal, I feel that way after uh.. about 20 minutes of heavy drinking. Ain’t no thing.

Triple P manages to pull himself out of the ropes and grabs Maximillian Kael by the hair, hoisting him up by his hair before dragging him to the opposite side of the ring. Max, however, has no intentions of being tossed out and slams his heel into Triple P’s foot causing him to let go and scream as he grabs his foot. Max manages too use the distraction to hit a Roaring Elbow! Triple P and Max both go down due to Max’s momentum.

Meanwhile back on the other side of the ring Trent hoists David Black up..

TOKE DRI-

David Black manages to flip out of it, landing on his feet with a cocky but tired expression on his face. Turning around with hopes of clotheslining the mammoth known as Trent he meets only a huge boot across the jaw which spins David Black inside out. Trent leans against the ropes as the fans chant encouragement toward him.

Joe Hoffman: Trent is looking worse for wear at the moment but then no one is looking particularly healthy in this match right now. Triple P and Max have seemingly taken each other down and David Black met Trent’s size 18 across the jaw leaving him the one man standing tall, bloodied as he is.

Benny Newell: YES BUT! THE LSD Champion is still in this!

Max Kael slowly stammers back up too his feet as he looks across the ring at Trent, then David Black and deciding he wanted nothing of that he grabs Triple P, heaving him up onto his shoulder as he moved toward the edge of the ring.. Suddenly Triple P reaches down and pulls the bandages on Max’s head down so Max can not see. Unable to known where he is going he wanders toward the ropes allowing Triple P to swing one leg over Max’s shoulder, hooking the ropes and fall, locking Max’s head under his arm…

MESSIANIC COMPLEX!

Joe Hoffman: Modified Messianic Complex on the ropes! Max can’t break free and Triple P is using the ropes to add leverage to the neck wrench! Max can either leg himself be dragged over or pass out in the ring!

Helpless, Max Kael flails his free arm and kicks furiously but is unable to find any sort of leverage too attack Triple P. The fans pop crazy as Max’s moments become slower and less frantic before Triple P finally yanks Max’s over the top rope and too the outside!

ELIMINATION: MAX KAEL AT 34 MINUTES AND 16 SECONDS!

Joe Hoffman: MAX IS OUT! Max is out, Triple P with a brilliant counter and Max is out! That just leaves David Black, Triple P and Trent!

Benny Newell: I knew that Punk Max Kael wouldn’t win! Triple P I may not like but did you see the way Max Kael treated Lee Best earlier!? He got what he fuckin’ deserved! But guess what.. THE LSD Champion is STILL IN THIS!

Joe Hoffman: And so is Triple P, a member of the AOA.

Benny Newell: What’s yer fuckin’ point? Black will get rid of him! Just wait and see!

Triple P hangs back to catch his breath while Trent slowly picks up David Black who looks almost as tried as his bloodied opponent. Trent scoops up David Black up onto his shoulder and turns to drop him over the top rope…

Counter! David Black slides off and shoves Trent into the ropes! Not wanting to miss his opportunity, David Black charges forward at Trent’s back..

COUNTER!

Trent drops down and pulls the top rope with him causing David Black to careen over the lowered top rope and down onto the hard floor!

ELIMINATION: DAVID BLACK AT 35 MINUTES AND 20 SECONDS!

Benny Newell: NOOO! FUCK NO! FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Joe Hoffman: TRENT ELIMINATES BLACK! THAT LEAVES TRENT AND TRIPLE P!

Benny opens his flask and begins to drain the rest of it as Trent and Triple P cautiously circle each other. Both men finally decide they are just too exhausted to play games and move in on each other. Trent lands a left hand, Triple P returns the favor. Trent lands a right hand Triple P returns the favor. Both men swing with everything they have left, each strike taking its toll as they come slower.

Triple P takes a right hand and staggers back.. suddenly he lurches forward and hits a stiff elbow on Trent which knocks him back a few feet..

Trent answers back with a wild right hand which catches Triple P on the chin and staggers him for a few feet before he falls to a knee. Trent lifts his hands to protect himself as he waivers.

Triple P finds it in him to get back up off his knee however a feigned elbow strike causes Trent to block high only to get shoulder checked in the knee cutting the leg out from the big man!

Joe Hoffman: Triple P is going to have to play smart against the much larger Trent and that right there was a smart move chopping the big seven footer down. Trent holds his knee but manages to push himself back up as Triple P prepares for another strike on the big man.!

Benny Newell:.. Wake me when its done! THE LSD Champion.. is GONE!

Benny closes his eyes and puts his fingers into his ears as Triple P darts in to check Trent once again only to get met with a well timed knee too the shoulder that spins Triple P up and around! The crowd cheers loudly for both men as neither seems to be able to get the full advantage over the other.

As Triple P holds his shoulder and Trent holds his leg, both men slowly get back up too their feet. Triple P darts forward and kicks Trent in the leg once again before attempting to pull him into the Messianic Complex!

Trent counters with body shots and powers Triple P up, twisted him so that he is set up for the TOKE DRIVER!

Triple P racks his hand across Trent’s Bloody face! Trent screams out in agony as Triple P flips his leg around Trent’s head locking in a head scissor before he reaches out, grabbing the ropes! Trent, now blinded by pain is unaware as Triple P pulls on the ropes and sends Trent over the top in a head scissor takedown! Trent goes OVER!

ELIMINATION: TRENT AT 42 MINUTES AND 22 SECONDS!

Joe Hoffman: HE DID IT! TRIPLE P WON!

Benny Newell: FUCK! STOP YELLING! FUCK FUCK!

Triple P stumbles too the middle of the ring with his hands held up, sweat pouring off his body as his music plays!

WINNER: TRIPLE P IN 42 MINUTES AND 22 SECONDS!

Joe Hoffman: Ryan Faze promised it! He swore! He called in Lee Best and Aceldama to make it so! But just the same, Triple P is the winner! A member of the AoA, the group that disrespected Faze last week won out!

Benny Newell: Oh fuckity fuck fuck! When Ryan Faze is back there is going to be some serious hell to pay, right fucking now let me tell you! Triple P didn’t win here tonight, he lost! He’s just too stupid to realize that yet!

Joe Hoffman: Irregardless of what is going to happen next week tonight.. Triple P is the winner of the Mayhem Battle Royale!

The celebration continues as the fans are on their feet cheering for Triple P as he sits in the center of the ring too tired to stand with his arms raised, drinking it all in.

The cameras follow Trent who is being helped to the back when suddenly Aceldama appears from the back and literally spears Trent down to the hard metal of the entrance ramp and begins raining down on the SSE stalwart with heavy rights and lefts and literally dozens of police officers and HOW security make their way out from the back as Aceldama has bloodied Trent to the point that his face is literally covered in crimson.

Aceldama fights off the police officers and security and makes his way to the back as they stand between him and the man that just took out Lee Best earlier in the show.

The crowd continues to boo loudly as a smiling Aceldama exits as the cameras capture Trent coughing up blood as medical personal look him over.

The action then cuts away to another part of the backstage area as we see Triple P staring intently at what just happened on the entrance ramp.

 

Extreme Stipulation

The show cuts suddenly backstage to show Max stop halfway along a corridor, just as Shane appears at the other end. Both men stare intensely at each other over the distance, Shane through the loose strands of hair which have fallen over his face, Max through his bandages.

Shane Reynolds: Congratulations on your stellar victory!

Shane shouts, offering up a single, mocking clap of his hands.

Shane Reynolds: And congratulations on once more being lucky enough to escape me. But, come Capitol Punishment, you’re luck will be officially running out. You see, there will be no victory and certainly no escape. Much like Darkwing who found out earlier tonight…Once I have my sight set on destroying someone…I will not stop until it is done…and for you….well…..You see, the pay-per-view is coming up fast and when it finally does roll around…..You will be trapped with me for one whole hour. You see, I have gone through all the official channels and at Capitol Punishment, our match will now be, HOW’s first ever One Hour Falls Count Anywhere Iron Man Match!!

The crowd at ringside erupt at the news, as does Benny.

Benny Newell: Max Kael is gonna die!!

Max seems to not feel the same and seems nonchalant from all those yards away.

Shane Reynolds: And you can be sure, you are going to suffer and pay for Michelle and everything you’ve done! And that I’m going to enjoy every…last….minute of it.

As Shane stares down at Max Kael, Max lifts a hand and waves lazily, white teeth seen under his bandaged face.

Max Kael: Now there’s a monster..

Mayhem cuts to a final updated advertisement for Capitol Punishment as the show comes to a close…

END OF TRANSMISSION

 


WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
HELL IN A CELL INFERNO
Issac Slade vs. Aceldama©

ICON CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
HOUR LONG IRON MAN FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE
Maximillian Kael vs. Shane Reynolds©

LSD CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH
Christopher America vs. David Black©

HOUSE OF PAIN MATCH
Mark O’Neal vs. Darkwing vs. Chris Kostoff
BOBBINETTE CAREY AS SPECIAL REFEREE MATCH

Kirsta Lewis vs. Scottywood

FINAL ENCOUNTER
Trip Eisen vs. Trent©

THE MATCH ONLY A MOTHER COULD LOVE
Bob Jared vs. Embosser

BONUS SEGMENT

A beaten and battered Lee Best is slowly walking to his car mumbling to himself about the ungrateful superstars on the Mayhem roster. Lee opens up the door to the Limo Hummer and is met with some substance that is hurled into his eyes from inside the Hummer. Lee stumbles backwards frantically rubbing his eyes.

Lee Best: Mother Fucker!

Lee is still blinded stumbling around as the winner of the Battle Royal Perfect Paul Paras gets out of the Limo Hummer with his Kendo stick and swings the Kendo stick down across the skull of Lee Best.

Paul Paras: Ah the ol’ Chile Powder to the face trick still works after all these years.

Suddenly a hand appears on Triple P’s shoulder. Paras turns and the camera pans up the arm and reveals that it belongs to Triple M and he is with Christopher America.

Mario Maurako: Hey there Paul. I know we all said we were going to do our own thing but I do think we all still have something in common.

Christopher America: I’m sure we all owe Lee Best a handful of beatings for all the crap he has put us all through over the course of the last several months.

Paul Paras: Now that you mention it he has been a constant thorn in our sides.

Mario Maurako: Yeah how about we give him the “Faze” treatment.

Lee Best gets up and Christopher America levels him with the American Chair shot. America then peels Lee off of the concrete and sets him up and finally drives him back down to the concrete with FOR AMERICA!

Paras looks at Maurako and Mario shrugs, then starts to climb to the top of the Hummer Limo. Paras grabs Lee by his head and stands him up. Paras goes to drive Lee to the ground but is stopped by America.

Christopher America: Here use this.

America places the American Chair down on the ground and Triple P hits a Parasyte (Flatliner) onto the chair and immediately after Triple M leaps off of the Hummer and nails a Maurako Rocker (Frog Splash).

Paul Paras: Now that was a Perfectly Marvelous Ending.

Mario Maurako: You know what? It’s just not quite good enough for me. We are talking about the guy who booked me to defend my ICON Title against Max Kael one week after taking it from Crow.

Paul Paras: Well then he’s all yours Mario.

Maurako grabs Lee Best and picks him up into a Gorilla Press position and tosses him onto the hood of the Hummer. Mario climbs up onto the hood as well and then grabs Lee and hits Simply Marvelous (rock bottom) on Lee onto the windshield breaking the glass.

Triple M hops down off of the Hummer as Paras climbs up and gets right down next to Lee’s face.

Paul Paras: I know you’d love to get some revenge on me for this Lee. But unfortunately for you, since I just won that Battle Royal I think I will be staying on Mayhem. Have fun on Turmoil Lee.

Triple P hops down off the Hummer and the three former AoA members exchange high fives as they walk away laughing at Lee. The camera starts to pan back to Lee Best as it notices two figures standing in the shadows.

The camera zooms in to see that it is none other then Shane Reynolds and Aceldama standing in the shadows….watching…and not doing a damn thing as the camera then zooms in on Lee’s body which is lying halfway through the broken windshield as the feed ends.

Show Details

The Best Arena

Chicago, Illinois

Show times

  • 9:00PM
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