Hall of Fame: April 26th, 2010 (2010)

Weekly Show | 60 Min
Rating:
6/10
6

Show Info

Show Transcript

Hall of Fame Monday
April 26th, 2010 – #HOW114
Kallisten Coliseum, Chicago, IL

 

Intro..

The HOTv logo gives way and we are now live for tonight’s very special Hall of Fame induction ceremony.

A video package begins playing highlighting the careers of all the High Octane Hall of Famers:

Narcotic…

Lynx…

Mark O’Neal…

Chris Kostoff…

Jatt Starr…

Darkwing…

Bobbinette Carey…

Graystone…

Maximillian Kael…

Shane Reynolds…

And finally…Hall of Fame Announcers Joe Hoffman and Big Buff Benny Newell.

The video ends as each Hall of Famer is standing in a line with the eyes of Lee Best above them.

We now go live to a part of the backstage area where we see Hall of Famers Joe Hoffman and Big Buff Benny Newell standing dressed in immaculate tuxedoes, Benny of course still with his Santa hat. The backdrop behind them is filled with HOW, HOTv, and HOF logos.

Joe Hoffman: Ladies and Gentlemen tonight is my great honor to stand here beside my Hall of Fame partner Benny Newell and help emcee tonight’s proceedings. Tonight we will hear from the owner of High Octane Wrestling, Lee Best, and of course tonight’s inductee Rob Michaels. But before we go to Lee let me ask you Benny what tonight means to you?

The camera zooms in on a profile shot of Benny as he adjusts his Santa hat.

Benny Newell: Well Joe it is of course an honor to stand here as a Hall of Famer beside you. Over the years we have seen some crazy things in HOW and of course I have said some crazy things but tonight is a night to be serious as we pay tribute to a man that helped define this era of High Octane Wrestling and it would be a disgrace for me to stand here and say I would rather be titty fucking Ryan Faze’s poser than standing next to you on a fucking Monday Night and help emcee a fucking event we aren’t even getting paid for.

Joe Hoffman: Um…Benny?

Benny takes a deep breath and continues..

Benny Newell: In all honesty being a Hall of Famer here in HOW is a big deal and if it’s not a big deal to you then you shouldn’t even be in the fucking company. There is a reason that so many Hall of Famers are still active and that’s because this place is like fucking crack…you just can’t leave it alone…trust me and Brian Bare on that one….or that fucking whore that Jesus got for me last night….but anyway…I digress…I am a Hall of Famer because HOW would NOT be the same without me…I have contributed to the company the best way I know how and for some reason Lee has always found a way to keep me out of lawsuits….so to answer your question Joe…..I love these nights…but I have fucking being here.

Benny nods his head as the camera pans back to a shot of both men before slowly fading into a single shot of Joe.

Joe Hoffman: Well after that eloquent statement I am not sure how I am ever going to follow that up….and actually I guess I am not going to be able to as I just got word that Benny took all of our allotted time and now we are going to go to Lee Best who will formally make tonight’s induction.

The feeds fades out as we see Joe slap Benny on the shoulder..

Induction

The feed fades into the office of Lee Best. The owner of HOW is wearing a specially made #970000 colored tuxedo and his head his shining like Mike Polowy on the cross. With a cue from the cameraman Lee begins.

Lee Best: Thank you ladies and gentlemen for tuning into what should be a night ALL of you strive for. Everyone should want to be the best in their field and everyone that is the best in their field deserves recognition. I don’t care if you are a plumber in Iowa, a amusement park director..and I use the term director loosely….from Connecticut, or a damn whore working at The Best Damn Whorehouse on Ethan Cavanaugh’s block…..each one of you strive to be the best at what you do…and if you don’t…well you are the people that get stepped on by the people like me as we make it to the top.

Lee pauses to take a drink of water before continuing.

Lee Best: You see I have inducted several people into the Hall of Fame here in HOW and I have allowed the Hall of Famers themselves to vote last year and they fucked up royally by putting that emo crying, love me or cut me piece of shit Shane Reynolds in, and quite frankly I don’t think I have inducted a more deserving man into the Hall of Fame than one Rob Michaels. You see Rob and I met several years ago when I invited Shockwave Sports Entertainment into the HOTv family. The company flourished and was always near the top of the ratings and it was easy to see they had strong leadership in Davo and then later I found out…in Rob.

Lee takes another drink as it seems SSE is choking him up…literally.

Lee Best: Although the short time we worked together all those years ago could be called a disaster…well a mild disaster I would say…but if you asked a certain Dan I am sure he would shove a gerbil up my ass and blow me up in the ring…and then have a show the following week…but I digress. You see as bad as that time was in terms of the HOW slash SSE..it did lay the groundwork for the most successful joint venture I have ever had with anyone that wasn’t a HOW original. Rob came in and together we created the High Octane Scoring System and it is still TODAY the most copied most original…and write this down…MOST FAIR way to judge all the douchebags that compete here in HOW.

Lee pauses for dramatic effect and then realizes there is none and continues…

Lee Best: Rob Michaels and I have gone from a complete disaster of a working arrangement to one that I will forever be proud of. Although the dickhead can be bipolar at times and use any and all excuses to get outta doing any kind of work….he has always had the ideas and the courage to allow me force him to stay here in HOW. You see deep down I know Rob loves this business….albeit in small doses. I also know he hates this fucking business and could give two shits if the company closed tomorrow. That is what you get when you watch the WB as much as Rob does….but again I digress.

Lee takes off his jacket now before continuing…and rolls up his sleeves..

Lee Best: Ok enough of the mushy mushy bullshit. I seen earlier this week that one certain World Champion Aceldama is begging like Keith Sweat that he wants to be in the Hall of Fame…well whoopee freaking da. So do I asshole..and guess what..I am not going to be a little bitch and post all my little achievements in hopes that guys will vote for me. You see shit like that makes me want to make make sure YOU NEVER get in..and trust me you will NEVER get in with only one year under your fucking belt. IF YOU WANT TO BE IN THE HIGH OCTANE HALL OF FUCKING FAME THEN FUCKING IMPRESS ME…FUCKING DO IT WITHOUT CRYING…WHINING…BITCHING..MOANING..AND MOST OF ALL…BEGGING. DON’T CRY ON MY FUCKING WORLD TITLE BELT…DON’T CRY TO FELLOW HALL OF FAMERS…AND DON’T FUCKING CRY TO ME IN DECEMEBER WHEN WE ANNOUNCE THE NEXT HALL OF FAMER WHEN IT ISNT YOU!!! YOU COULD GO 150-0 TILL THEN AND I WOULDN’T LET YOU IN YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT…I THOUGHT SHANE REYNOLDS WAS EMO…WELL GUESS WHAT…YOU MAKE HIM LOOK LIKE CHUCK FUCKING NORRIS……FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lee turns and walks off camera and tosses his desk over and grabs a nearby lamp and smashes it against the wall.

Lee Best: YOU PIECE OF FUCKING SHIT…..LET ME SEE ANYONE…ANY FUCKING ONE…POST THAT BULLSHIT ON HOWRESTLING.COM OR IN A FUCKING COMPANY EMAIL OR ANY FUCKING WAY..AND THEY WILL BE JOBBED OUT TO SHAWN STEVENS UNTIL STEVENS IS INDUCTED INTO THE FUCKING HALL OF FAME……GODDAMMIT!!!!

Lee smashes his fist into the wall and his hand goes right thru it and after pulling it out he sees blood on his fist. Seeing the blood Lee smiles and walks up to the camera and puts the fist right up in front of the lens.

Lee Best: This is fucking blood Aceldama…this is what people spill to get into the Hall of Fame..this is what drives me…I BLEED #97000 COLORED BLOOD FOR GOD SAKES MOTHERFUCKER..AND SO DID ROB MICHAELS……..ROB……BLOW SOMETHING THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With that Lee smashes his fist into the camera and the feed goes black.

 

 

Acceptance..

Rob Michaels (talking on his iPhone): He said to blow something the fuck up.

Michael DeNucci (talking on his iPhone): Well then, let’s give the people what they want.

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM FUCKING BOOOOOM~! An overhead blimp shot captures an extravagant yacht in an undisclosed ocean. Off the top deck of the yacht, a vast amount of gratuitous pyro shoots off, providing an amazing spectacle to kick off tonight’s events. We then cut to a camera from the main deck of the yacht, where all 93,389,304 DeNucci sidekicks through the years are on deck, partying like rockstars. In the thick of it all is the leader of the pack himself, one Michael DeNucci. DeNucci quickly ends the call to Michaels and turns to the camera.

Michael DeNucci: YO YO YO, AND AWAY WE GO! “The Headhunter” Michael DeNucci, here with you LIVE from my big fucking yacht — aptly named SS Big Fucking Yacht — in international waters, since apparently Anita Alvarez can’t tell the difference between fiction and real life. Hey, Anita, you dumb cunt, are you gonna go after the CSI guys next? Maybe the Hamburglar…I’m sure Mayor McCheese would give you a medal and a parade for that one.

The various DeNucci associates on the yacht laugh.

Michael DeNucci: It ain’t all bad though…check my sick tan. You wish you were bronze like this, bitches.

The shirtless DeNucci takes the opportunity to flex for the camera, as a scantily clad Kaley Matheson comes into view, clinging to the former High Octane Fighting Champion in a picture seemingly tailor-made for HotChicksWithDouchebags.com.

Michael DeNucci: Alright, enough about my sick tan and bangin’ chick. This ain’t just some ordinary yacht party…we’re celebrating something big. Over the course of High Octane history, a lot of worthy stars have been inducted into the HOW Hall of Fame, but tonight, for the first time in the history of HOW, a handler will be inducted. Tonight, LIVE from the SS Big Fucking Yacht, we are inducting a man whose contributions to High Octane Wrestling have led us into a new era of roleplaying, a man who has taken the mysterious art of roleplay scoring and shed light upon it. Ladies and gentlemen–

DeNucci pauses for a second, then looks around.

Michael DeNucci: You know what, guys? Hold up a sec. This just isn’t right.

Michael DeNucci: Yeah, Rob’s going into the HOW Hall of Fame, but think about it. This is a special occasion. This could very well be the last time we see me in HOW. I KNOW it’ll be the last time we see Rob on HOW television.

Rob (voiceover): Like HOW’s rules on fourth wall breaking have ever stopped me.

Michael DeNucci: Shut up, Rob! You’re not in the segment yet. Anyway, as I was saying, this is a special occasion, and it deserves a special crew. Joe, Benny, you guys ARE HOW, and like Rob, you’re HOW Hall of Famers. But I think this seg needs one more commentator. I think this segment needs…a woman’s perspective.

The crowd onboard the yacht cheers, knowing where this is going.

Michael DeNucci: I think this segment needs the broadcast team of Joe Hoffman, Big Buff Benny Newell…and KALEY MATHESON!

With that, “All The Things She Said” by t.A.T.u. plays over the yacht’s speakers, and Kaley reappears, still in her teensy pink bikini, but now putting on a matching pink headset.

Kaley Matheson: Um, like, is this gonna mess up my hair?

Michael DeNucci: You’re fine, Kals.

Joe Hoffman: Well, I guess we have a special guest commentator, the former Shockwave Sports Entertainment color commentator, Kaley Matheson. Kaley, welcome aboard.

Kaley Matheson: Thanx u guys!!! Im sooooo excited to be here for Other Robbie’s ind…indu…Hall of Fame thingy!!!

Your humble narrator isn’t going to out-and-out say that Benny is hard as a rock for his new broadcast partner, but it’s Benny Newell, so feel free to draw your own conclusions. Slowly, Newell’s hands start to drift south…

Kaley Matheson: ew gross!!! both robbies warned me about u! hands where i can see em!!

Michael DeNucci: That’s right, guys, she talks just like she texts. Anyway, Kaley Matheson will be joining Joe and Benny on commentary for this segment, but we’ve got one more surprise for you. Is Brian McKnight back in Chicago?

Everyone looks around confused, not quite sure who DeNucci is talking about.

Joe Hoffman: You mean Bryan McVay, Michael?

Michael DeNucci: McVay, McKnight, whatever the fuck his name is, I really don’t give a fuck. Tell him to go croon some R&B classics or something, because he is officially benched for the night!

A gasp of shock comes both from the crowd in Chicago and aboard the SS Big Fucking Yacht.

Michael DeNucci: And in his place will be one of the most epic ring announcers of all time. This man is a god amongst mere mortals. His voice could make a wolverine purr, and his moves could make even that bitch Carrie-Ann Inaba give him a ten on Dancing With The Stars. In short, this man is the BALLS. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the man…the myth…the legend…

DON’T CRY, DON’T RAISE YOUR EYE

IT’S ONNNNNLYYYYYY TEEEENAAAAAGE WASTELAAAAAAND

DeNucci pauses, and Baba O’Riley by The Who begins to play, as everyone realizes who DeNucci has brought to the yacht today.

Michael DeNucci: …the veteran Voice of the Octagon…BRUCE BUFFER!!!

The crowd loses its shit for the greatest announcer in Mixed Martial Arts history, who emerges from…well, we don’t know where. Rob doesn’t know shit about yachts, and Gossip Girl is starting, so he doesn’t have time to look it up. Nevertheless, the legendary announcer makes his way onto the scene, clad expertly in a white dress shirt, khaki shorts, and flip-flops.

Joe Hoffman: Can you believe it? Bruce Buffer is here for the HOW Hall of Fame!

Kaley Matheson: Like, talk about an upgrade!

Everyone goes silent, waiting for Bruce to do his thing.

Bruce Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen, THIS IS THE MAAAAAAAAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING!!!!! Welcome to the High Octane Wrestling Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony! AND NOOOOOOOW…the moment High Octane Wrestling fans have been waiting for. LIVE from the SS Big Fucking Yacht in international waters…IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT’S…TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME!!!!!!!!!!

The crowd goes wild for Buffer’s signature catchphrase.

Bruce Buffer: Introducing at this time…

Any other day, this would be the point where Buffer delivered his patented Buffer 180™. However, this is no ordinary day…this is a Hall of Fame induction ceremony, and as such, Buffer goes for the gusto, hitting, for only the second time in history…the Buffer 360®.

Bruce Buffer: ENTERING via the BLUE HELICOPTER…he is the NEWEST MEMBER OF THE HIGH OCTANE WRESTLING HALL OF FAME…ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

MAKE MONEY MONEY, GO SHOPPIN’

TAKE MONEY MONEY, GO SHOPPIN’

NO MATTER WHAT THE WEATHER, WINTER SPRING OR FALL

WE’LL BE DOIN’ IT…AT THE MALL!

There could be no more fitting entrance music for Rob Michaels than Gangstarr’s “The Mall,” unless some crazy songwriter got really drunk and wrote a song about malls, trains, mixed martial arts, and Starbucks. And for good measure, it should feature a Michelle Trachtenberg rap breakdown. But I digress. We need to focus on more important things right now, like the fact that there’s a blue helicopter descending from the sky, preparing to land on the yacht’s helipad. (I TOLD you it was a Big Fucking Yacht.) Beside the helipad, Ulf “Embosser” Stroeheimmer and his lady friend, Henrietta “Rob’s Too Tired To Think Of A Nickname For Her” Von Schtuppendorf stand armed and ready to greet their co-creator. (Chris Coughlin originated Ulf and Henrietta, but Rob’s taken the reins lately.) As the helicopter lands, Ulf and Henrietta open the door, greeting Rob with solid, efficient, bone-crushing handshakes. Rob is wearing dark blue jeans and an Old Navy classic polo from his seemingly never-ending supply. Today, in honor of this momentous occasion, he’s chosen the red one.

Joe Hoffman: There he is, the innovator of the High Octane Scoring System, Rob Michaels!

Kaley Matheson: OTHER ROBBIE~! *squeals*

Rob’s elaborate entrance isn’t quite over yet, however, as Ulf and Henrietta lead him to a waiting brown and white horse. Michaels saddles up and rides the horse down to the deck DeNucci is waiting on.

Joe Hoffman: He’s on a horse!

Kaley Matheson: Like the Old Spice guy?

Benny Newell: This one’s just the way I like ‘em…young, dumb and full of–

Michael DeNucci: Finish that fucking sentence and I swear to Tiésto, I’ll have my Chicago crew whack you while you sleep. And NO, Benny, not the good kind of whacking.

In the time those four were talking, Rob has expertly navigated his horse to the main deck, tying it to a conveniently located hitching post.

Rob Michaels: Stay, Captain Oats.

The horse settles in its position, and Michaels approaches a podium.

Rob Michaels: First of all, I’d just like to start by saying…WHO THE FUCK COULD HAVE SEEN THIS COMING BACK IN THE SSE DAYS?!

The crowd laughs and applauds, as DeNucci nods knowingly, remembering the Chaos vs. Aftershock battles well.

Rob Michaels: With that said, I’ve got a lot of people to thank, and I have to start with two guys I could never have done this without. Tony Davies and I broke away from a fed called Project Championship Wrestling in early 2003, and created Shockwave Sports Entertainment together. I’ll be totally honest with you, I don’t think either of us had a fucking clue what we were doing, but we didn’t let that stop us, and in the end, we built something pretty great.

A faint “SSE! SSE!” chant goes up, and backstage, Lee probably mutters something along the lines of “if I wanted to induct someone who was gonna hype a dead fed all day, I would’ve voted Scottywood in”

Rob Michaels: Of course, we couldn’t have built that without the cornerstone of Shockwave Sports Entertainment, Chris Coughlin. Chris was a driving force within SSE, both in character as the dominant Draven Stark, and out of character as a writer, fed staff, and occasional peacemaker when Tony and I would clash on something. These two guys have been tremendous friends to me through the years, and I hope that will stay the case for a long time to come.

Rob Michaels: And if we’re talking about SSE, we can’t leave out the other member of the Core Four, Dan Gallagher.

A round of boos go up for Dan, who is still a little bit unwelcome in the HOW circles.

Rob Michaels: You can love him or hate him, but the truth is, he was one of the best match writers this hobby has ever seen. While he could be temperamental at times, when he got down to business, no one could touch him. Some of the greatest SSE events are what they are because of his efforts, and I can’t thank him enough for that.

Rob Michaels: And now I’m going to go from thanking Dan Gallagher…to thanking one Chris Olesen. If you were around back in the day, you know how funny that is, seeing as these guys were at each other’s throats. But the truth is, Chris Olesen deserves even more credit than he gets. I have never seen such dedication and, as one Kimbo Slice would put it, “commitmentship” — seriously, check out his interview on Aldo vs. Faber if you haven’t seen it, it’s hilarious — from anyone, in any endeavor, as I’ve seen from this man towards HOW. He puts his blood, sweat and tears into everything he does in this place, and he deserves all the credit in the world for that. The truth is, no one deserves to be in the HOW Hall of Fame more than him, and who knows? Maybe next year, that just might be a possibility.

Rob Michaels: A few more thanks…who’ve we got here…to Nate Entwistle, for dragging me into this damn hobby back in the UA days. He said it was a good place to make friends, I said it was a good place to make enemies, and it turned out, we were both right. As much as it pains me to do it, I have to thank Matt Denton…

Entire Crowd (in unison): MAAAAATTTTT DENTONNNNNNNNN.

Rob Michaels: …after all, he’s the one who first suggested I come here, back when the suggestion seemed as ridiculous as suggesting that I shove rusty nails up my ass. Thank God he did, though, because I’ll tell you right now, outside of Holyoke Mall Brawl II, I truly believe I’ve done some of my best work in HOW.

Rob Michaels: Moving on, I’d also like to thank JD Elder for his inadvertent guidance in shaping my character. His deeming DeNucci to be Douchebag of the Year set off a spark in my mind that led to the more focused DeNucci that you saw towards the middle of my run as an RPer.

Rob Michaels: I should probably talk a little bit about the thing that got me here: the High Octane Scoring System.

The crowd yells “HOSSSSSSSSSS!” at the top of its lungs like Duke Williams just rolled up in this bitch.

Rob Michaels: Yes, the HOSS. Those of you who were around in cycles two and three of SSE probably remember our never-ending debates regarding character development vs. trash talk. Those were the kinds of knock-down, drag-out fights usually reserved for such controversial topics as politics, religion, or pizza, and when SSE began its third cycle, I knew I didn’t want to have to deal with that, especially considering I was going to be taking the lead in judging. So I sat down and thought about a way to balance out the two, so a character developer wouldn’t necessarily have an advantage over a trash talker, and the person with the overall best RP would win. What I came up with was a system I so cleverly titled The System.

Rob Michaels: I will tell you right now, I would not have been able to do the job I did, then and now, without these systems. From its humble beginnings as The System, to when I combined it with Lee’s system to create the HOSS, this system has been a lifesaver to me as an RP judge, and it’s been beneficial to RPers too. In my first matches in HOW, I would be left to wonder what I did right, and what I did wrong, whereas now, there are notes and numbers to let you know what you’re good at and where to improve. While they may not always be what you want to see, and each judge may have their different standards, I think we can all agree that it’s a welcome addition to HOW.

Rob Michaels: It’s funny, because I can actually remember the AIM conversation where I showed it to Lee, and I remember him marking out, and I was just thinking, “It’s a system, Lee, not the second coming of Jesus.” Little did I know then that that system and the way I used it would lead to the tremendous honor that is my induction into the HOW Hall of Fame tonight.

The crowd applauds loudly.

Rob Michaels: If I may digress for a moment, I’d like to point out a distinguished guest in our audience tonight. He’s a very controversial figure, banned from most forms of media, but he’s here tonight…ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the Muslim prophet MUHAMMAD!!!

Rob points over to Muhammad, who is standing quietly near Captain Oats.

Rob Michaels: Now, there’s a very good reason he’s here, and before I begin, I want you to know that I’m completely serious about this, and this is something I’m legitimately concerned with. Guys, I believe creative expression is under attack, in this country and around the world. In order for us to be truly free, we must be able to express ourselves, to criticize, and to be creative. The greatest thing about High Octane Wrestling, and something that is truly a credit to Chris Olesen, is that we have that freedom here. Unfortunately, that’s not the case everywhere.

Rob Michaels: As you know, recently, Matt Stone and Trey Parker wrote a couple of episodes of South Park that featured Muhammad. Now, I’ve seen them criticize pretty much anything and everything in their careers, but I can recall only two people that ever got off easy…Cesar Millan, and Muhammad. However, despite this treatment, they were faced with death threats from radical Muslims, and their network, Comedy Central, caved under the pressure. I’ve never seen an episode of television as censored as South Park was last week, and I never want to see an episode of television that censored again.

Rob Michaels: Creative expression is a fundamental element to a free society, and make no mistake about it, in the United States of America, and in High Octane Wrestling, WE ARE FREE! So with that in mind, I want to let Matt and Trey know, we’ve got your back, and to those that would attempt to stifle creative expression under a blanket of fear and intimidation, you will never win. Not now, not ever!

Rob Michaels: So with that said…

Rob is interrupted by frenzied neighing from Captain Oats. Everyone’s attention turns to the horse…

Rob Michaels: OH MY GOD! CAPTAIN OATS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MUHAMMAD?!

What Captain Oats is doing to Muhammad is, in fact, tough for even your humble narrator to describe. But, I am a narrator, so I shall do my best. Muhammad is now completely naked, and is lying underneath Captain Oats, while Captain Oats is…shall we say…excited.

Joe Hoffman: I’m gonna be sick.

Benny Newell: Even I can’t jerk off to this, and I’ve jerked off to Siamese midgets being raped with power tools.

Kaley Matheson: EWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Meanwhile, the scene continues, with Muhammad doing his best to guide the massive horse inside of him. The two appear to be in full gear now, as the force of the horse inside of him causes Muhammad to ululate wildly.

Benny Newell: Rob, you are now officially the sickest fuck in High Octane Wrestling.

Rob Michaels: Praise from Caesar is praise indeed. Anyway, let’s continue on, shall we?

Joe Hoffman: HOW? There’s a horse having sex behind you!

Rob Michaels: Not anymore.

Rob breaks out his trusty iPhone, fires up Documents To Go, and begins typing furiously. As soon as he finishes typing, the horse and Muhammad disappear into thin air.

Rob Michaels: There, that’s better. Sorry about that, everyone, but I had to prove a point. And let’s face it, a HOW Hall of Fame ceremony wouldn’t be a HOW Hall of Fame ceremony without something controversial.

Rob Michaels: Anyway, I’m getting the Wrap It The Fuck Up Already signal, so I’d like to deliver a few last thoughts. It’s no secret to those who know me that my time in this hobby is coming to a close. While I will always consider myself a part of HOW, and Michael DeNucci will forever be a part of me, the time has come for me to go off and seek new adventures in life. I’ve spent the past seven years building Michael DeNucci’s empire, and I’ve had an amazing time doing so, but now the time has come for me to build my own empire, and I plan on doing just that in the years to come. Before I go, however, I’d just like to say thank you one last time for your respect for me as an RPer, your trust in me as a judge, and most of all for helping me have such an amazing time in this hobby. So for one last time, on behalf of my entire roster of characters, good night…and thank you.

With that, the crowd applauds, and “Crawl (WB Version)” by Thisway begins to play over the speakers. Michaels shakes hands with his characters, saving DeNucci for last.

Michael DeNucci: You wanna hug it out?

Rob Michaels: Not really…

Michael DeNucci: Let’s hug it out, bitch.

The two men hug, and DeNucci escorts his creator back up to the helicopter.

AND I CAN’T WAIT TO CRAWL…

As the door of the helicopter opens, creator and creation exchange words, before Michaels takes his seat.

I CAN’T WAIT AT ALL…

The door of the helicopter shuts, and DeNucci steps away, as Michaels looks out the window.

I CAN’T WAIT TO CRAWL…

The post-HOF party appears to be in full effect, as DeNucci goes back to join his party peeps. Meanwhile, the rotors of the helicopter begin to spin up.

I CAN’T WAIT ANYMORE

The helicopter takes off from its pad, as we get a shot from the outside, with Michaels staring out the window. DeNucci looks back at him, mouthing the words “Go kill it, kid.”

I CAN’T WAIT ANYMORE

You know I will,” Michaels mouths back at DeNucci, as he puts on a pair of Armani Exchange Sporty Shield Sunglasses and leans back in his seat, ready for his next adventure, but knowing that no matter what, even in the times when he’d rather jerk off with sandpaper than actually do stuff in it, he will always be a part of High Octane Wrestling.

I CAN’T WAIT ANYMORE

**END OF TRANSMISSION**

Show Details

Kallisten Coliseum

Chicago, Illinois

Show times

  • 9:00PM
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